Darkness Within the Light

Good evening.

If you do not see KuwaL for a few days....she's been...temporarly disposed of...(smirks). I felt that I needed to get this story going to where it needs to be, so this chapter is long and is actually two of my chapters joined as one. This was originally part 7 and part 8; but now it's just part 7.

This is where certain plots will be revealed. It will get deeper and darker from here on out, so a warning for those of you who do not like yaoi, nor such dark stories.

SinkingIntoDarkness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho nor am I making any profit from this story.

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He stared up at his ceiling, laying in complete darkness. He used to dread the darkness, but recently it seemed to be the only thing to comfort him. He once was tormented and haunted by what lied within the darkness; however now the darkness was his sanctuary.

Kuwabara hadn’t left his room for a week since the encounter with his ‘friends’. He hadn’t eaten nor did he sleep. Sleep wouldn’t come even if he wanted too. He felt sick to his stomach so eating wasn’t an option to him. All he did was laid in his bed, in darkness. The only time he had come out was to relieve his bladder; he didn’t even take a shower.

His hair looked a greasy mess, looking more grey then the unnatural bluish-green hair that was once orange.

He had lost a considerable amount of weight, causing his buffed body to become leaner and less built.

Shizuru had tried about fifty times to get his ass out of bed; however, Kuwabara’s eyes and the glares he would give her had caused her to stop entering his room at all.

She was worried about her little brother, but what was worse was she was scared; she was scared of what he was becoming.

Kuwabara couldn’t understand why he was acting the way he was, nor did he cared; which he found to be the most terrifying thing out of his whole behavior. He looked out his window, still laying on his bed and watched as the rain poured down against his window.

He really missed his friend’s, but like he would go after them. He was disappointed and pissed that none of them came over to make sure he was alright; not even Yusuke came over to yell at Kuwabara.

“To Hell with them…” Kuwabara mumbles, turning away from the rain and glaring at the door.

“….I don’t need them…I don’t need any of them….”

Kuwabara sighs, knowing what he was saying wasn’t true.

He just didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t get rid of the headaches; no matter how many Advils he took. Kuwabara couldn’t take it anymore, the silence; the pain. He needed to get out of there.

He needed to find him.

Kuwabara got out of his bed. He walked up to his chair, where his jacket was thrown carelessly on and put it on; not even bothering to brush his messy locks or even take a shower. He was about to walk out of the room when he spotted the collar that was Eikachi’s. His eyes filled with un-ushered tears as memories of how his beloved kitten died.

It happened a week before the mission. He came home and found Shizuru in a panic, which was never a good thing.

“Kazuma, I’m sorry! I don’t know what happened! I don’t’ know how she got out, but she did and…” Shizuru cried.

“Calm down sis! What are you talking about?” Kuwabara asks, his gut was hurting and telling him that something bad happened to someone he cared for deeply.

“Eikichi ran out into the street and….” Shizuru couldn’t finish and held up the bloody collar, its bell not even making a twinkle noise.

Kuwabara’s eyes widened at the sight and started to shake a bit.

“No….tell me this is some sick joke? Not my baby….” Kuwabara says, gently taking the collar from his sister’s shaky hands and hold it in his trembling ones.

He had cress the collar with his thumb, with love and care as if he was actually petting his beloved cat.

“I’m so sorry Kazuma…I just…”

She couldn’t finish.

Shizuru was in tears and sobbed. She felt horrible. She felt as if it was her fault that Kuwabara’s cat was hit.

She had yelled at the poor thing, scaring her out of the house and into the street in the first place. She had gotten sick of the little thing using her legs as a scratch post.

Kuwabara never blamed her for what happened to his cat, but blamed himself for not teaching his beloved cat what not to do and what she was allowed to do. He felt that his little mistake in babying her had cost his cat her life and caused his sister such grief and regret.

Kuwabara gently picked up the collar and tightly griped it in his hand; bring the hand to his heart. He would bring the collar as something to remember his sister and cat; to remember why he was doing this and to remind him that he was loved and had been happy at another time in his life.

Kuwabara found a piece of paper and a pen and decided to write a good bye note to his sister and to reassure her that it wasn’t her but him and that she shouldn’t worry.

After he finished he carried the note with him out of his room and into the living room, where he found his sister asleep on the couch, her face down from her crying session she had done like the other nights she had. A bottle of liquor was on the table with a blazing television show on the screen.

Kuwabara walked up to his sleeping sister and sighed. He placed the note under the liquor bottle, sure that she would find it there. He looked at her one last time and gently kissed the top of her head.

He walked towards the front door and took one last look towards his sister. Kuwabara sighed and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry Shizuru…I love you…”

He put on his shoes and left, never looking back.


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Kuwabara walked down the poorly lit street, looking down at the collar that was in his hand, lightly running the pink material through his thumb and forefinger.

He kept walking, not thinking nor seeing anything. He just let himself walk, knowing that he would be found, even if he really didn’t want to be found. However, he knew he had no choice.

He knew he was changing and it wasn’t for the better. He knew he wasn’t normal and never had been able to fit in. Even with in his small gang of friend’s he felt like he didn’t belong.

Kuwabara sighed, and pulled his jacket closer to his body as the rain continued to pour down on him. He clung to the collar, not wanting to let go of what represented his humanity.

He kept walking, blinking away the rain from his eyes as the wind blew the watery substance into his vision.

He decided to just close his eyes and walk, letting his extremely powerful six sense direct him in the direction he needed to be in.

Kuwabara suddenly stopped, sensing the familiar aura of the one he was looking for.

“So you are ready to join us I see?”

Kuwabara kept his eyes closed and clenched his fists, feeling the material from the collar dig into his skin. He couldn’t believe he was actually going to work with this guy. However, he felt that there was no point in him to pretend to be normal when he obviously wasn’t. He couldn’t keep up with not only the act but hiding his feelings.

He couldn’t stand to hurt any of his loved ones, and he knew that if he stayed he would only get worse and eventually he would seriously injury those he loved. He had already let down his cat and caused his sister to suffer for his carelessness. He was not going to take that chance; he would rather die then be the reason or the one to cause harm to those he loved. He swore he would never be the cause of their pain ever again. The best way to do that was to disappear and never see them ever again.

Kuwabara’s eyes opened as he felt someone stand next to him with an umbrella, keeping the rain off of his already soaked body.

“Let’s get out of this rain.” Denshi says who was standing too close to the soaked teen for comfort.

Chills rain down his spine telling him that he should get away from the guy, that he was trouble and that he had something to do with everything; however Kuwabara’s mind was screaming in pain every time his sense tried to warn him. Kuwabara finally decided to ignore it.

He turned to look into those silver eyes that held a kindness and a bit of lust. Kuwabara tried to look away, but found that he couldn’t. Denshi seemed to put a spell over him, causing him to feel a weird sensation all over his body, as if he was floating.

Denshi was the one who broke eye contact and put his arm around Kuwabara’s shoulder, pulling him into a side ways hug.

“Let’s go to your new home.” Kuwabara nodded and lowered his head, letting him be taken away.

Denshi guided the teen towards the alley he seemed to find himself guided to. Denshi came to the wall and removed his arm from the teen to knock on what sounded like a hollow wall. Kuwabara watched in awe as the wall opened like a door to revile a hidden room.

Denshi smiled at Kuwabara’s face and took Kuwabara’s hand. He was surprised to find a collar in Kuwabara’s grasp. He frowned. Denshi knew that something like what the teen had could ruin his plan.

He dug his hand into Kuwabara’s, which woke the teen up. Kuwabara retracted his hand from the guy who was trying to remove the only thing that he could hold on to.

“Don’t touch it.” He growls, holding onto the collar possessively.

There was no way he would give this guy something that was the only thing left of his sanity; the only thing that could bring him a small amount of happiness.

Denshi frowned at the teen. Kuwabara’s body started to glow a bit; Kuwabara’s spirit energy starting to slowly rise. Denshi inwardly smirked at the power he was sensing coming off of the teen.

‘He’s gotten stronger and properly trained can become the strongest human in the entire world…’ Denshi thinks.

“You are not allowed to bring any personal items. There are no possessions in this gang. Either everyone shares what one has or no one has it. Everyone comes here with only the cloths on their back that is it. That is the only thing to call your own; to be an individual; other then that, there is no such thing as ‘my needs’. It is the needs of the entire gang that are thought of.” Denshi says.

Kuwabara glares at one he was going to call ‘leader’ soon. He didn’t like the fact he couldn’t have something to call his own. However, he didn’t want to lose his chance to disappear from his old life. He had a hard choice to decide from. Would he throw away the object that represents his former life and those he loved and left behind; or would he not join the gang and wander around lost within his dread and finally die from hunger and from being alone?

Kuwabara looked down at the collar in his hand, a tear falling from his eye. He didn’t want to be alone; he didn’t want to die alone. He was scared of not death but of being alone.

Fear had consumed him this day as he dropped the last piece that connected him to his former life and to those he loved.

Denshi grinned, pleased at the teen’s decision and gently lead the teen into the hide out, closing the doors behind the two; leaving the beloved collar in the muddy ground.

This was the end of Kazuma Kuwabara, warrior of love.
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