Effigies

Buzzing followed him all day in school. The “oh, my gods, can you believe it?” and “it can’t be true, he actually let him kiss him?” were wearing thin, very rapidly. Kurama finally walked up to the worst offenders after class, and asked ever so politely, “Is there a problem?”

Most of the crowd looked away, embarrassed. The leader of the group finally answered, “You let that punk kid kiss you?”

Kurama smiled and gently corrected her, “I let my boyfriend kiss me.”

The noises of shock that traveled the group almost made him laugh, but he held to his pleasant mask while the leader asked, her voice strained, “Your boyfriend?”

“Yes, my boyfriend.” With that he smiled at the group again and turned to walk away.

“How could you?” the leader screeched at him. “We love you!”

He turned slowly, his smile holding something that made them shrink back from him, “How could I what, exactly? How could I love someone who knows me, knows everything about me and loves me? How could I love someone who’s seen me in situations that would make you claw your eyes out and loves me? Or, how could I burst your little bubble of fantasy that you possibly had a chance?” He stepped closer, watching the girl pale, “To you, I am a pretty face, a nice body, someone to fantasize about. To him, I am real, thorns and all. He knows my flaws, my secrets, my darkness, and he loves me. I know his dark side, and I love him. So, how could I what, exactly?” The girl mutely shook her head, shrinking back from him. “I’d ask that the rumors and such stop. I am happy, be happy for me if you ‘love’ me.” He turned again and walked away, this time without any sound following after him.

Yusuke was waiting for him by the gate, far enough away to be ignored by the crowd, but close enough to hear everything Kurama said. He’d seen the smile Kurama turned on the girls and tried not to chuckle. It was the same smile he’d seen in the ring at the Ankoku Bujutsukai, the smile that told you that you were in serious trouble. The redhead’s smile changed when he saw Yusuke, softening, lighting his face so that it seemed to glow from within. A smile wholly meant for Yusuke alone. Yusuke held out his hand and Kurama reached for him, allowing himself to be pulled in to Yusuke’s chest. “I do love you,” he whispered as Kurama brought their mouths together.

Electricity coursed through their bodies as their lips touched, a surge so powerful they both groaned and pulled back gasping. Their eyes met and they both knew, without speaking, where they needed to be. They left the school yard with all due haste and ran to Kurama’s house as fast as they could, a blur of pink and green to anyone they passed. The seemed to open of its own accord, slamming as Yusuke pressed Kurama against it, their lips joined, hands seeking the boundaries of their clothing, trying to get underneath to the heat below, trying to touch as much as possible. Their hips rocked against each other, cloth covered erections adding their demands to the need raging in their bodies.

Yusuke managed to find the opening to Kurama’s uniform shirt, his lips moving to explore the revealed skin. Kurama groaned, “Yusuke!” as his hands pulled the brunet’s hips closer to his, trying to join their flesh through the fabric. Yusuke nipped at his neck and his mind cleared slightly. He put his hands on Yusuke’s hips and pulled back, “Yusuke, stop, please!”

Panting hard, Yusuke pulled back, his eyes glazed with lust and hunger, “What, Kurama?”

“You’re sure? You’re really sure?” Kurama couldn’t remember being more nervous about sex.

“Are you?” Yusuke asked, nodding.

Kurama looked away, “Do you fantasize when you masturbate?”

Yusuke drew back from Kurama, unsure where the redhead was going, “Yes.”

“Last night was the first time I allowed myself to fantasize about you while I masturbated, Yusuke. I’ve loved you, but I was afraid that if I let my mind linger on you, that I wouldn’t be able to control myself around you.” He met Yusuke’s gaze again, “Before that, though, I had to face what Youko did, what we did. I don’t want our first time to be so fast, Yusuke.” He pulled the brunet close and Yusuke allowed himself to be moved, “We’ve waited so long, gone through so much, Yusuke, I want our first time to be special, not up against the door, not yet.”

Yusuke relaxed into Kurama’s chest, his ardor cooled. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

Kurama cupped Yusuke’s chin and lifted it, “Don’t be.” He brushed his lips gently against the brunet’s, “Never be sorry for how you feel.” Kurama continued kissing Yusuke gently, very slowly reigniting the fire in their bodies, but keeping them under his control. He pulled back and whispered, “Do you want to go upstairs?”

Yusuke became very still in his arms. Kurama pulled back and looked into the brown eyes that were wide, staring at him. Yusuke’s mouth began to work, but no sound came out. “It’s okay, Yusuke. We don’t have to go.”

“I thought…I thought I wanted to. I want to, but…”

Kurama caressed Yusuke’s cheek, “Shhh, love, it’s okay.” He stepped away from the door, guiding Yusuke into the living room. “Why don’t we watch a movie for a while and see where things go. We don’t have to do anything today.”

Yusuke was trembling when Kurama held his arms to guide him to the couch. Instead of going to the TV, Kurama knelt in front of the brunet, “Talk to me, Yusuke.”

The brunet shook his head. “I…I…hold me?” he sounded lost.

Kurama crawled onto the couch, sitting behind Yusuke and pulling him to his chest. The brunet twisted in his arms, curling into a small ball. He continued to shake and Kurama continued to hold him, neither saying a word. He lost track of time and could feel his own body beginning to shake, the tension between him and Yusuke too much for him to not. He began to rub Yusuke’s arm, petting him, soothing him, rocking him slightly.

After a long time, Yusuke’s body stilled, though he continued to breathe raggedly. “I’m…”

“Don’t apologize, Yusuke. I can’t bear it if you do.”

Tension left Yusuke’s body and he wilted into Kurama, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” His breath came in what could have been called a sob if someone else had made the noise. “I love you, Kurama.”

Kurama nuzzled his nose into Yusuke’s hair, breathing in shuddering gasps, “I love you, too Yusuke.” He squeezed the brunet to his chest, “What was it, Yusuke?”

“I kept…I kept,” he took a deep breath, “I kept hearing Youko in my head. I kept hearing him over and over in my head telling me you loved me while he…while he…”

“Shhh, love, I understand.” Kurama sighed deeply, his arm tightening around Yusuke again. He continued to rock the brunet gently, trying to comfort him, to ease away his pain.

“I want to, though, Kurama. I want us to make love. I want to.”

Kurama lifted his chin gently, pulling back enough to look Yusuke in his eyes. “We will, my love. But, we must go at a pace we both are comfortable with.”

“Why can’t we just do it?” Yusuke frowned, “Why can’t I just get over it? Not even training with grandma was this hard.”

“Because he…he took the most intimate security you could have away from you.” Kurama frowned at his own explanation. He pulled Yusuke back into his chest, “He raped you, Yusuke, using my love as his reason. He poisoned both of us, Yusuke. You more so than me because I only recently found out what happened.” He caressed Yusuke’s cheek, his hair, trying to erase the memories.

“How do we move on, Kurama?” Yusuke’s head rested against Kurama’s shoulder, taking the comfort the redhead gave.

Kurama hugged Yusuke, “I think this is a start, I think we start here.”

Yusuke took a deep breath, “Did it hurt, Kurama? Last night, did it hurt?”

“When I remembered? Yes, a lot, it hurt a lot.”

“What helped?”

Kurama laid his cheek on Yusuke’s head, “Remembering that you forgave me, Yusuke. That’s what helped me.”

“Are you over it?” Yusuke’s voice was small.

Kurama thought a long moment, so long that Yusuke pulled away from his chest and was about to question him again, “Not completely.” He looked into Yusuke’s eyes, “I’m afraid of hurting you.” Kurama looked away, “The first time hurts. No matter how gentle I try to be, it’s going to hurt. I’m afraid of hurting you and you remembering him and me retraumatizing you. That’s part of the reason I want to go slow.”

Yusuke searched Kurama’s face, his eyes. The redhead met his gaze openly. Finally, he spoke, “Your eyes are so different than his. I don’t mean color, I mean how you look at me.” He ran his finger lightly against Kurama’s cheek and then along his eyebrow. “I know you’re not him. You showed me, even now.” He sighed, “Let’s see what’s on TV for a while. And we need to move. My legs are falling asleep.”

Kurama smiled and released his hold on Yusuke. The brunet shifted so that he was on one side of the redhead’s lap, his legs bent over, resting on the other side. Yusuke leaned against Kurama again. “Better?” the kitsune asked.

Yusuke nodded and yawned. “Sorry,” he murmured

Kurama kissed his cheek, “Why don’t we lay down a while?” Yusuke tensed and Kurama continued, “Just here on the couch, nothing more.”

Yusuke held his gaze as he laid back. Kurama moved slowly to lay on his side next to the brunet. They settled slowly, relaxing by degrees as they continued to hold eye contact. Yusuke slowly brought his hand up to Kurama’s cheek. His expression was tentative. Kurama watched as Yusuke slowly traced the lines of his face. Yusuke slowly drew Kurama down, carefully bringing their lips together. He pulled back, continuing to hold Kurama’s eyes. Kurama resisted his attempt to draw him back down. “How far, Yusuke?”

“I don’t know, Kurama.”

“Pick a limit, Yusuke.”

Frustrated, Yusuke groused, “Pants.”

“That’s where we stop, then.” Kurama kissed Yusuke’s temple. “Nothing below the waist.” He kissed the brunet’s cheek. “Okay?

Yusuke frowned, “Why?”

“Neither of us is ready to go all the way, Yusuke. Setting a limit gives us a place to stop if we get carried away.” Kurama brought his hand up and caressed Yusuke’s cheek. “I love you.”

Yusuke turned his face more toward Kurama’s “Okay,” he whispered. Slowly, lightly, he brought their lips together, tentatively while his hand wandered up along Kurama’s arm. Kurama’s hand rested on his waist, his fingers massaging lightly as they slowly slipped behind Yusuke’s back, gently pulling the brunet’s body up to face his. Yusuke’s hand reached his shoulder as their kiss deepened, a small groan rising from the redhead’s chest. Without breaking their kiss, Kurama slid his lower hand under Yusuke’s waist and encouraged him to lift his body. The redhead maneuvered so that he was lying under the brunet as they continued to kiss, tongues beginning to join in the contact. Yusuke moaned, his free hand tangling in Kurama’s hair as he tried to press his lips closer, to pull the redhead into his body. Kurama dragged his hands slowly over Yusuke’s back, pulling his shirt up, but not touching the bared skin. His hands slid into Yusuke’s hair, trying to help the brunet get closer to him.

Yusuke’s lips left Kurama’s mouth and began a slow, sloppy trail along the redhead’s chin to his ear. Kurama groaned “Yusuke” when the brunet’s lips wrapped around his ear lobe, encouraging further exploration while Yusuke’s hands worked at his uniform top, continuing to unfasten it, exposing the redhead’s chest. Another sloppy trail brought Yusuke’s mouth to Kurama’s neck, his lips tasting the pulse that beat like a wild thing just next to the vibrating voice box that gave rise to delicious groans and moans as Yusuke explored. His hands finished with the task of unfastening the redhead’s pink uniform top, he pushed up, drawing a whine from the flushed redhead.

Yusuke pushed the uniform open, his eyes traveling the pale planes of skin now laid bare to him. The lines were smooth, graceful, deceptively delicate looking. He knew the strength hidden within the fragile frame, and he allowed his eyes to linger, filling himself with the sight of his love, his lover. His eyes returned to Kurama’s face and he could see the hunger in those green eyes. What Kurama saw must have been an invitation. He sat up, pulling his shirt off as he did, throwing it onto the floor and began working on removing Yusuke’s uniform shirt, his eyes locked in the brown prisons of the boy on his lap. Yusuke caressed his shoulders and the touch sent fire racing through his body, causing his hands to tremble, making it difficult to work the fasteners that stubbornly held the green jacket over what he wanted to see, to touch, to devour. Finally, the fabric fell open and his eyes left Yusuke’s to take in the strong planes of his lover’s tanned skin. Yusuke gave him a moment to enjoy the view before pressing him back onto the couch, removing his jacket and returning his lips to where they’d so recently left.

Kurama whined at the feel of Yusuke’s bare chest against his own, his hands caressing the strong back above him, trying to pull Yusuke closer to his body. He could feel the heat radiating off the brunet, a slight dampness under his hands and it turned him on more. Yusuke began exploring his shoulders with his lips and Kurama bent enough to kiss the brunet’s shoulder. He licked his lips, tasting the slightly salty flavor and he wanted more. He opened his mouth and brought his lips to Yusuke’s shoulder while his tongue worked to taste as much of the brunet as he could. Yusuke moaned and pulled his hair, pulling his head back. He could see a bright red mark where his mouth had been, but before he could apologize, his mouth was full of Yusuke’s tongue. He groaned, bringing his hands around Yusuke’s chest, caressing the hard muscles under the warm smooth skin. His thumbs brushed Yusuke’s nipples and the brunet whimpered into his mouth.

Yusuke broke their kiss, sitting up and holding Kurama’s hands to his chest, “Fuck, that feels good, Kurama.”

Kurama nodded, swallowing hard, trying to form words as his eyes devoured Yusuke’s body, the contrast between their skin colors, the heat from Yusuke’s hands holding his. Yusuke didn’t give him much time to enjoy it, though, bending down, bringing his mouth to Kurama’s chest, licking one of the redhead’s nipples. Kurama cried out, arching into Yusuke’s mouth. Yusuke sat up again. “Fuck, Kurama. You are…gods!” he bent back down and began devouring the redhead’s chest, nipping and licking any place he could touch with his mouth, his hands working on Kurama’s abdomen, massaging it with firm strokes.

Kurama’s hands were lost. He tried desperately to find purchase anywhere on Yusuke’s body as his mouth begged for more and more. Yusuke’s mouth found a nipple again and his teeth closed around the nub. Kurama screeched, his hands tangling in Yusuke’s hair, pulling the brunet’s head closer to his chest as he arched into the touch. Yusuke groaned and he could feel it though his body. “Oh, gods, Yusuke! I love you! I love you!” his voice broke into gasping cries.

Suddenly, Yusuke was off him, across the room. Kurama blinked, trying to understand what had happened. “Yusuke?”

The brunet wrapped his arms around himself. “I had to stop, Kurama. I want to go so much farther, but I can’t. Not yet. I had to stop.”

Kurama’s eyes followed Yusuke’s body and could see the bulge in his pants from his erection. “The bathroom. Use it. I’m going upstairs.” Yusuke looked like he was going to argue when Kurama ordered, “Do it. Go so I can go upstairs.”

Yusuke swallowed thickly and moved into the hallway. Kurama waited until he heard the door close. He then grabbed his shirt and ran upstairs. He locked his door behind himself and fell onto the bed, pulling down his pants just enough to free his throbbing shaft. He wrapped his hand around it and cried out. A few quick strokes and his body tensed, orgasm overtaking him, leaving his limbs shaky and weak for a moment. His breath shuddered in and out of his body. They’d almost gone too far. He took a deep breath, trying to stop the shaking in his limbs and his mind. They’d almost gone too far and he hadn’t stopped, hadn’t wanted to stop, hadn’t realized it. He rolled to his side, facing away from the door.

A timid knock at his door caused him to turn before he could curl in on himself. “Kurama, please, open the door.”

“Yusuke…I can’t right now.” His voice sounded wrong in his ears. He could hear Yusuke sliding down the door.

“Kurama, don’t lock me out.” Yusuke brought his fist to the door, not really knocking, but bringing it up to hold on to something, “Don’t lock me out, Kurama.” There was pain in his voice.

Kurama sat up and reached to his desk for some tissue, “Yusuke, I wasn’t going to stop you.”

“Kurama, there are two of us in this relationship.” Yusuke sighed, “You can’t be the only one who sets boundaries.”

Kurama pulled his pants up and moved to the door. He didn’t open it, or unlock it, but sat leaning against it. “Yusuke, I didn’t want to stop at the limit we set. I wouldn’t have stopped you at all.”

Yusuke sighed, “I didn’t either. But, Kurama, if we’re going to do this, we have to trust each other.” Kurama could hear him leaning against the door. “It’s not easy for either of us, is it, to trust someone else.”

“Or ourselves,” Kurama added, reaching up and turning the lock on the door. He didn’t open the door and didn’t hear Yusuke move. “Yusuke?”

“Yeah?”

Kurama took a deep breath, “The door’s unlocked.”

He heard Yusuke move, “May I come in?”

Kurama knew the question meant more than just the room. He looked at the ceiling a moment and then moved away from the door, “Please come in, Yusuke.”

The door opened slowly and Yusuke continued to sit outside. “Thank you, Kurama.”

Kurama reached a hand out to Yusuke, “Please come in, Yusuke. I want you in.”

Yusuke took the proffered hand and pulled, “Meet me halfway, Kurama.”

They both rose up onto their knees and crawled together. Kurama allowed himself to see that Yusuke hadn’t put back on his shirt yet and would have a very nice bruise on his shoulder. They crawled together until they were close enough that a deep breath would cause them to touch. “This is how it has to work, right?”

Kurama considered and then nodded, “Yeah, this is how it works.”

Yusuke smiled, brushing his fingers along Kurama’s shoulder, “You’re gonna have a couple of hickeys later.”

“You too,” he countered, touching the mark on Yusuke’s shoulder.

Yusuke kissed Kurama on the lips softly, “Let’s go watch a movie?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” Kurama stood up and pulled Yusuke to his feet.

Yusuke brushed Kurama’s hair back from his face, “Do me a favor?”

“What would you like, Yusuke?”

“Will you put on some jeans and a tee shirt and pull your hair up again?” His hand trailed down Kurama’s arm.

Kurama smiled, “For you, of course.”

“I have a change downstairs.”

“Why don’t you pick a movie while I change?”

Yusuke nodded, pulling gently on Kurama’s arm. The redhead wrapped his arms around Yusuke, being careful not to press too closely, not completely trusting himself yet. “I love you, Kurama. We’ll work this through.”

“In time?”

“We’ll do it, Kurama. I know we will.” He rested his head on Kurama’s chest. “Like you said, I know you. You know me, too. We’ll work it out.”

Kurama rested his cheek on Yusuke’s head. He smiled, “You’re right. We will, in our own time.”

Yusuke pulled back enough to kiss Kurama, a little more than chaste, a lot less passionate than they’d just been sharing. “I’ll see you down stairs.”

Yusuke moved away and Kurama called to him, “Thank you, Yusuke.”

Yusuke looked over his shoulder at the door, smiling, “I’ll see you down stairs. I love you.” He left, closing the door softly behind himself.

Kurama sank to his knees, breathing out a prayer of thanks and relief. He imagined he could hear Youko screaming at him, screeching out his loss. Kurama smiled. They would make things work out, he knew it. Youko was losing his hold on them. Every bond of trust between them forced Youko to lose his hold on them. He pushed back to his feet again. He grinned a little. So, Yusuke liked his hair up? He’d have to keep that in mind, he thought as he pulled on a shirt, his eyes lingering on the marks on his shoulders and on his chest. He traced a red mark that was beginning to purple nicely. He’d been marked very nicely by Yusuke, he counted four that would still remain in the morning. He pulled the shirt on and changed his pants quickly. He pulled his hair up and noticed a mark on his neck just under his ear that was beginning to purple. Well, he could always wear his hair down when he needed to, he thought as he tied up his hair. Tracing the mark, he smiled and left the room.

When he entered the living room, Yusuke was by the TV, putting a movie in the player. The brunet stood, tipping his head to see the now visible mark, “Hmmm, looks like I got you good.”

“I’m happy about it.”

“You got me good, too. I like it.” He held out his hand and Kurama took it. “It sounded interesting, so I figured we’d watch it.”

“It?”

“Zatoichi, the Blind Swordsman.”

Kurama smiled, “It’s funny. I like it.”

Yusuke led them to the couch, urging Kurama to sit first. “Good, I’m glad.” The brunet leaned against Kurama and the redhead wrapped his arm around him. Yusuke’s hand rested on his leg and they watched the movie, or tried to. They both were drained from the afternoon’s events and fell asleep before the final song and dance number.

Shiori came home after midnight and found the TV still on. She frowned as she walked into the living room. The boys were asleep on the couch, Yusuke nestled into Kurama’s chest, the redhead’s arms wrapped around the brunet. She watched them a minute before pulling the blanket over the back of the couch, covering them. Kurama stirred, his eyes opening. He opened his mouth, but Shiori whispered, “Shhh, It’s okay, Shuichi. Just sleep. Good night.”

Kurama smiled at her and nuzzled Yusuke closer to his chest. Yusuke mumbled “love you”, wrapping his arms around Kurama. Kurama kissed the top of his head and let himself fall back asleep.


A/N Well....Then...hmmmmm....oh, yeah...Zatoichi...it's funny, watch it if you can find it...it's a spoof on samurai movies and has a male geisha (as in, in a kimono and everything...funny) And, yes, it ends in a huge song and dance number.

My brain is like fried. I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and I'm waaaayyyy excited. So...because I'm barely focused enough to write this, I'll say thank you to you at once, my reviewers...thank you saRah~C, CJ, Joey, and Devious Lil Devil. Leave more cookies, loves and I'll update when I get back on the 30th ;)