Carbon

Disclaimer: I gotta remember to copy and paste this from my profile. It’ll make this stuff easier.

Author’s Note: Did you guys know that the majority of typing is done with your left hand? I wonder if this was an intentional development with the QWERTY keyboard… -shrug-

Chapter 3

Keiko observed Yusuke, who had brazenly entered her parent’s restaurant and ordered “the usual” as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Never fancying herself any kind of expert in reading auras, Keiko, nonetheless, knew something was bothering Yusuke.

“Is something wrong?” she asked as she sat down beside him with his tray ready.

Yusuke looked at Keiko sideways before taking apart the disposable chopsticks and shrugging. He picked up a bit of beef and ate it, marveling at how, no matter what went crazy in his life, he could always count on Keiko’s food to be fantastic. “Still adjusting to this whole change.”

Keiko gave him her famous “I know that’s not all” look and sighed. “Yusuke, if there’s something bothering you, you don’t have to hide it.” She placed her hand on Yusuke’s shoulder and he immediately flinched away. Keiko withdrew her hand, feeling as if her touch had burned him somehow.

“Sorry, I guess that’s part of it,” Yusuke explained.

“Don’t.”

Yusuke looked at her, confused. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t try to explain it. I knew the second I saw you with the long hair and markings that you were finally in the right skin.”

Yusuke chuckled. “Funny you should mention that. I feel like I crawled into someone else’s body.”

“But I also knew…” Keiko trailed off for a moment. When she continued, her voice was full of regret. “That something different had changed along with your appearance. You’re not happy.”

Yusuke shook his head, a denial already on his lips.

“Don’t pretend to be. It’s okay if something is wrong. But I wish you’d tell me.”

“I don’t even know what it is. I’m just… going through some stuff and I can’t really explain why. I’m not a different person. I’m still Yusuke even if I have some weirdo blood in me.”

“Being a demon isn’t weird. I’m bothered by your discomfort with it.”

That had been the last response Yusuke had expected.

A sudden look of incredible sadness crossed Keiko’s features. “The worst part about how it happened… I don’t think I’m the person most affected.”

“I know Kuwabara’s probably pissed at me still.”

“Kuwabara? Oh, no, Yusuke… He was just happy to have you back. I’m worried about the storm-cloud that seemed to follow… Kurama… out of the cave.” Saying Kurama’s name gave Keiko significant strain. It was hard for her to mention him. She knew Kurama was a demon but that wasn’t what unsettled her about him. There was something in his demeanor that made him seem even further transcended from her and she didn’t like the way he looked at her Yusuke. Though, she gladly accepted Kurama as Yusuke’s dear friend because the strange demon made Yusuke happy and so at ease.

Yusuke’s silence spoke volumes.

“You know how upset he was, then.”

Yusuke nodded. “He told me earlier today, matter of fact. Damn, Keiko, I didn’t know you were so good at reading other people.”

Keiko smiled at the compliment. “I had to get good at it. Can’t have my best friend telling me lies.”

The way Keiko had referred to Yusuke as her “best friend” seemed wrong to Yusuke. She never openly mentioned her feelings for Yusuke except in rare instances, but she hadn’t called him her “best friend” in years. Not since they were seven. He shrugged it off, preferring to pretend he’d imagined the inflection.

“I want you to be happy, Yusuke,” said Keiko. “No matter what that means.”

Yusuke nodded, thanked Keiko for the meal and took his leave. As he headed for Kurama’s house, he only wondered for a moment why he’d left his backpack at Kurama’s. It occurred to him almost immediately that he’d done so on purpose to have an excuse to return to Kurama’s house. The atmosphere in Kurama’s house calmed Yusuke. He felt welcome and warm there. Not to mention that he’d formed somewhat of an attachment to Kurama’s mother in their brief interactions. More and more it became clear to him how Kurama managed to be so content with his human lifestyle. Yusuke felt that if he had a mother like Shiori, he’d probably have an easier time settling down with his place in life.

He ascended the steps to Kurama’s house and remembered moments before barging in that he should knock. Shiori came to the door smiling. “Yusuke-kun,” she said, her smile widening. “Good to see you again.” Yusuke believed her. She really was genuinely happy to see him. That brightened Yusuke’s mood and dispelled every negative feeling he’d had about his conversation with Keiko. “Come in. Shuuichi is in his room.”

“Thanks, Shiori,” said Yusuke. He toed off his shoes at the entrance and placed them neatly out of the way of the door.

“You needn’t knock, sweetie,” said Shiori. “You should feel free to walk right in.”

“Uhh… thanks,” Yusuke responded. He nodded to her before heading upstairs to Kurama’s room. He knocked lightly on the door and entered on Kurama’s permission.

Kurama smiled at Yusuke. He was happy to see that Yusuke’s aura and disposition were at ease. “I take it the conversation with Keiko went well?”

Yusuke’s face fell. “Actually… it was weird. She’s… y’know. I think it’s a girl thing.” Yusuke shrugged. Now that Kurama reminded him, his good mood dimmed.

“Oh, you just seemed so content…”

“Your mom has that affect on me.”

That comment pleased Kurama to no end. “She is rather wonderful, isn’t she?”

Yusuke nodded. His agreement was as emphatic as it was possible to be. “She’s like a bright ray of sunshine but not in an obnoxious way. Like a mom’s supposed to be.”

Kurama frowned at that comment. He wasn’t sure what Yusuke’s home-life was like except that his father wasn’t in the picture and that his mother was quite young. Yusuke hadn’t really been forthcoming about his past or personal feelings. “Take a seat.” Kurama gestured beside him on his bed. Yusuke couldn’t help but notice that it was bigger than the one he’d woken up in.

He sat down. “Did you get a new bed?”

Kurama frowned at Yusuke. “No… I’ve had this bed for a few months now.”

Yusuke furrowed his brows at that. It was obvious now that Kurama had mentioned it that the bed was the same size. It was strange to him because he always seemed to wake up so close to Kurama. “It looks bigger.”

Kurama chuckled. “That’s probably because we aren’t lying in it together.”

Yusuke felt heat creep into his neck at that statement and turned his face before the flush could reach his face. Kurama either didn’t notice or else pretended not to. Kurama brushed his hand over the top of Yusuke’s gently. He wanted to be reassuring without invading Yusuke’s space. To his surprise, his friend leaned toward him noticeably. A few more inches and their arms would be touching. The thought sent shivers throughout Kurama’s body.

“Is there something new bothering you?”

Yusuke shrugged, his shoulder brushing against Kurama’s. Yusuke didn’t shy away from the contact. In fact, his hand inched a bit closer to Kurama’s but he had no awareness of it. “Nothing new… just… more obvious.”

“Oh?”

Yusuke turned his face in Kurama’s direction, suddenly struck by how close they were but more curious than alarmed. He had the strongest urge to reach out and touch Kurama’s face but resisted. He had excellent impulse control when he wanted to; particularly when the impulses made no sense to him. “Yeah.”

A sudden dark look crossed Kurama’s face. “I know we’ve never been close,” he started. “But I hope that you will come to me if you need to talk.”

With a heavy sigh, Yusuke flopped backward onto Kurama’s bed. The ceiling was plain white but Yusuke distracted himself by tracing patterns in the shadows with his mind. Once he’d calmed the pressing weight of anxiety he’d been crushed with on Kurama’s words, he took a deep breath, resolved to try and explain what he was going through to Kurama. “I kinda feel like my life is screwed up.”

Kurama looked back at Yusuke over his shoulder. “How so?”

Yusuke thought for a moment. “You’ve played video games, right?” Kurama nodded. “Okay. I feel like my life is a video game in beta. Every time I get the idea how to play, the rules change. Hell, it’s like I’m thrown into a different game every damn time I get ahead. First, I was cool with the way things were. I was a rotten punk with a rotten life and a rotten attitude and then I get fucking hit by a car and die.”

Kurama nodded. He’d never heard the entire story, but he would ask questions later.

“So I’m like, ‘alright, I’m a ghost then?’ But no. I have to come back to life and be a Spirit Detective. Okay, I can deal. Fight a few demons, save a few lives… Then I met you and the world turned upside down again. Way to make things confusing by not being evil and shit. Fine. Fight some more demons, save a few lives then BAM I have to be in a frikken martial arts tournament. You know what sucks? Every time I fight some new enemy, they swear he’s the strongest. Come to find out Toguro was actually kind of a wimp just in time to die again and fucking come back as a goddamn demon.” Yusuke turned to face the wall and ignored the feeling of Kurama’s weight shifting behind him.

“Yusuke…” Kurama muttered.

“This is why I don’t talk about stuff. It’s… embarrassing. And I always sound whiny.”

Kurama placed his hand on Yusuke’s shoulder but Yusuke remained stubbornly facing the wall. “It’s alright to be frustrated with the hand you were dealt. I agree that you hardly get time to rest before the next debacle gets thrown at you. Just know that I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

Yusuke turned over, unconcerned by the fact that his face was now mere inches from Kurama’s. “Really?”

Kurama smiled and nodded, his nose brushing against Yusuke’s. Yusuke felt his stomach tighten at the contact. His nose filled with the scent of roses and Kurama’s sweet breath. Neither man looked away. Yusuke reached up to brush a stray strand of hair out of Kurama’s face but Kurama caught his hand before it made contact.

“You should take better care of your nails, Yusuke-kun,” Kurama murmured. He glanced down at Yusuke’s lips for a brief moment before recapturing the ex-detective’s gaze.

Yusuke’s trembling fingers laced between Kurama’s as he gazed at the kitsune’s intense green eyes. “Is it weird that I don’t want to move?” he asked.

“No,” Kurama breathed.

Yusuke’s grip on Kurama’s hand slackened and his eyes drifted closed. “I’m tired…” he muttered.

Kurama smiled. “I won’t be upset if you fall asleep.”

“Not sleepy. Just tired.” He opened his eyes. Yusuke was well aware that he was still holding Kurama’s hand, albeit, gently, and he didn’t want to let go. The contact was soothing and he didn’t feel the need to question why. He wondered briefly if kissing Kurama would make his unease disappear entirely and the thought caused his stomach to tighten even further and a pleasant tingling sensation filled his chest.

Kurama was unnerved by Yusuke’s behavior but not enough to tear his gaze away from Yusuke’s amber eyes.

Yusuke eventually turned away, reluctantly taking his hand with him.

“Are you planning on staying the night again?” Kurama asked.

“Probably shouldn’t,” Yusuke replied. “I haven’t been home a lot. Ma’s probably worried.” Yusuke winced and heaved himself out of Kurama’s bed. He sighed at the heaviness that washed over him upon tearing himself away from the kitsune. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you,” Kurama responded, sad to see Yusuke’s back.

- = - = -

Far from being worried, Atsuko Urameshi immediately launched into a fifteen minute lecture about how Yusuke ought to be home at night or at least tell her where he was going if he wasn’t coming home. When Yusuke pointed out that Atsuko had been passed out for the majority of the time she was even home, she warned him not to be a smartass and smacked him upside the head.

Yusuke wasn’t fazed by his mother’s smack, but pretended it hurt anyway. “Who’s the clown?” Yusuke asked, gesturing to the man who was sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette.

“That’s Taki,” Yusuke’s mom explained, heat of anger still thick on her voice. “An associate, among other things.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. Wish she’d stop bringing Mob guys home.

“Nice to meet you, Yusuke-kun,” Taki muttered.

Yusuke grimaced at the man. He already disliked him. He looked weirdly familiar in a slimy sort of way and he was unsettled by the man’s appearance. Not to mention, they’d just met and the guy had the gall to call him ‘-kun.’ “Yeah,” he replied. “Same here.”

“I’m going out tonight,” said Atsuko. “Clean up while I’m gone. This place is a pigsty.”

Yusuke muttered something about how he didn’t make the mess and Atsuko and Taki exited the house. Yusuke gave the door a rude hand gesture and began shoving garbage into a trash bag his mom had conveniently left by the couch. Probably by accident, Yusuke thought with an edge of bitterness. It took over two hours to get the house in an acceptable state after which he collapsed on the couch to take a nap.

Yusuke was running through the forest, chasing an animal. It was a magnificent creature, shining silver. He wanted to catch the animal, to play and bask in the bright light emanating from it. Alas, every time Yusuke drew near, the creature (which he now saw was a fox) quickened his pace and cast teasing looks over his shoulder at Yusuke.

When Yusuke finally caught up, he was at a clearing with a small lake and a waterfall. The fox had vanished, leaving a tall man with silver hair and kitsune ears and tail adorning his menacing frame. The youko flashed Yusuke a toothy grin and said, “I’m glad you’ve finally come to me.”

“Yeah,” said Yusuke, tossing a long strand of dark hair out of his face with a jerk of his head. “Sorry to make you wait.”

Youko sat down on a rock by the waterfall and beckoned Yusuke forward. The Toushin eagerly followed the unspoken request and settled himself across Youko’s lap. “You were worth waiting for,” Kurama muttered, his hair suddenly changing back to his usual blood red shade as he leaned in to kiss Yusuke.

Yusuke caught the kiss on his lips and returned it with hunger. His hands were entangled in Kurama’s hair before he realized he’d moved and Kurama was running his hands lightly over Yusuke’s chest. “I would have waited forever,” Kurama muttered against Yusuke’s lips.

Yusuke reclaimed his lover’s lips and wiggled his ass against Kurama’s groin earning a moan from the kitsune and assisting in heightening Kurama’s arousal. Yusuke found his body responding quickly to Kurama’s gentle touches and gasped when a hand pressed firmly against his cock through his pants.

Kurama pushed Yusuke down onto the ground and rocked his pelvis into Yusuke’s. The friction was maddening and Yusuke was sure that if Kurama didn’t slow down he’d cum before they got to the good part…

To his dismay, Yusuke woke “before they got to the good part.” What was worse, he felt telltale wetness in his pants that alerted him to just how much his body had responded to that dream.

Then he remembered exactly what he’d dreamed about and his face grew hot

“Fuck,” he groaned, standing to hop in the shower and find a new pair of pants. He turned the tap on cold even though there was really no reason for it. Since I already took care of it in my sleep. He felt like a pre-adolescent. Even worse, he felt like having an erotic dream about Kurama (aside from implications he’d rather not dwell on) was almost like invading his friend’s privacy. His stomach sank in guilt and the sensation that he’d broken some unwritten man-law about objectifying his male friend made it sink further.

Yusuke stepped under the stinging spray of frigid water and tried to wash away all memory of his erotic (and downright confusing) dream.

- = - = -

It had been three days since Yusuke had contacted Kurama. He was beginning to worry. Kurama knew that he should be so concerned by Yusuke’s absence. After all, he and Yusuke had never been close. He felt unsettled, however, and he couldn’t put words to precisely why he felt that way.

When Yusuke finally did reappear, it was the dead of night. Kurama was woken when, upon Yusuke’s approach, the plant by the door allowed Yusuke entry to his house. A part of Kurama was elated that Yusuke had finally returned to his house, but the feeling that something was dreadfully wrong squelched the feeling immediately.

The worry was only confirmed when Yusuke walked into his room with the aura of a battered man. “Yusuke?” Kurama whispered.

Yusuke sank beside Kurama on the bed and didn’t speak for a long while. Kurama sat up and rubbed Yusuke’s back. It was clear that his friend was in some sort of turmoil and Kurama could feel the agony as if waves crashing over him from Yusuke.

“What’s the matter, Yusuke-kun?” Kurama asked, softly.

“My mom’s new boyfriend is an ass,” Yusuke muttered darkly. He tenderly touched his stomach where he was sure his ribs were only just beginning to heal. “Stupid… Kicked me right in my floating ribs.”

Kurama placed his hand on Yusuke’s side and mended the broken bones with a flare of his ki. Yusuke smiled gratefully and lay down on his side of the bed. “Can we just sleep? I don’t wanna talk about it now.”

Kurama lay down and held Yusuke firmly to his chest from behind. Yusuke sank into Kurama, not bothering to feel awkward about the proximity. He was too comfortable to care.

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