Deaf

Deaf

By mocha

~*~*~*~

Going through this life on my own made me as cold as stone

I’m a ship going under

And telltell you this, but I don’t know how

I’m caving in and I’m falling out and I can’t resist

~Saliva

~*~*~*~

It was surprising that I could
tolerate the presence of the fat oaf. Normally I would have the burning desire
to slice his head off and serve it for breakfast, but today seemed different
for some unknown reason. I looked over Yukina’s face and saw a smile – a real
smile, with love buried within. How could she actually like someone who trips
over his feet – constantly? What does she see in him that makes my sister
desire him so? Is this what true love is? What Kuwabara and Yukina have? Do
they whisper ‘ai shiteru’
to each other every moment possible? Do they want to be with each
other….forever?

She found happiness, unlike I did.
She found love, unlike I did. She fell in love with someone who loved her back,
unlike I did….

I hate her. I hate Yukina. I hate
her so much….

I dreamt of her once. She was with
the dense Kuwabara again, singing softly to the birds and smiling when another
hand slipped into hers. They were happy, oblivious to the growing threat around
them. The sky darkened and the birds disappeared with a trace or a feather.
Yukina walked blindly when the human beside her vanished from the world. She
was alone with none to protect her or to hold her. None to be
there for her. None to love her.

The voices came and surrounded my
sweet sister, immobilizing her body in a single spot. They rushed at her and
tore her flesh, ripped her hair out, cut her being into bloody pieces and
swallowed them whole. Her screams of a horrible death echoed hollowly
throughout the cloudy sky, but I couldn’t hear the final cry of her last
breath. My beautiful sister was crying. She was dying. She was dead. She was
dead. She was dead. She was dead. She was-

~*~*~*~

I’ve got it all but I feel so deprived

I go up, I come down and I’m emptier insidestyle='mso-special-character:line-break'>

Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I’m missing

And why can’t I let it go?

There’s gotta be more to life

Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy mestyle='mso-special-character:line-break'>

’Cause the more that I’m trippin’
out thinkin’ there must be more to lifestyle='mso-special-character:line-break'>

Well there’s life but I’m sure there’s gotta
be more

Than wanting more

~Stacie Orrico

~*~*~*~

“Hurry up, Hiei, we’re almost
there!”

My kitsune giggled and blurred away
with inhuman speed that only he could achieve. I ran behind him, trying to stay
on his trail to wherever he was taking me. I sped up to the top of a hill where
a solitary tree stood, tall and proud as it stared down at the hills below it. I
inhaled the pure Ningenkai air, filling my lungs with the sweetness of the
scenery. My view fell to the grassy ground as Kurama tackled me, giggling with
excitement as we rolled around the great tree. He rolled me underneath him and
touched our noses together with a soft tap, grinning widely the entire time.

“Baka….” I said, threading his
silky hair through my fingers. My redhead seemed to grow more beautiful every
day. He wore a pair of black pants with a white shirt that was open in the front,
matching perfectly with his creamy skin of hard marble. He laughed again,
placing a quick peck on my lips before rolling off me and staring at the
clouds.

“That one,” he said, pointing to
the fluffy white cotton. “Wdoesdoes it look like?”

“Sweet snow,” I replied, crossing
my arms behind my head. “What else?”

“That’s what you always say,” my
fox laughed. “What else does it look like?”

I smirked and observed the cloud
again, going along with the ningen style of relaxing. I studied the curves and
corners, creating the shape in mind. “A fox’s head.”

“Yup. class=GramE>And that one?”

“….a rose….”

“Actually, I was thinking an ice
cream cone.” Kurama giggled again and rolled back on top of me, kissing my
lips. His gentle arms wrapped around my waist, sighing as I returned the warm
embrace. “I love you….” he murmured in my neck.

“I….love you, too,” I replied,
noting the slight shake in my arms. Unfortunately, my fox noticed the movement.

“Hiei?
What’s wrong?” he asked me, threading his fingers in my soft hair.

“Nothing.
I’m….I’m finding it hard to see what life would be
like without you….”

He blinked at my words. He knew
damn well that I wasn’t one to speak so easily foreword, and this was a
definite change.

“I know what it’s like, Dragon,” my
kitsune said, kissing my cheek. “I had no idea how I was going to survive a
life as a ningen for nearly a century, and I came up with some pretty crazy
plots just because of it.” He smiled. “Then again, I’m grateful that this
happened, for without it –“ his lips met mine “– I
probably would have never met you.”

He sang for me then, his sweet alto
voice filling the vacant hills with beautiful music. His voice felt so
truthful, so flawless, but I knew there were lies hidden underneath, pulling me
down until I crashed to the bottom that I could not reach.

“class=SpellE>Kagirinaku tsudzuku class=SpellE>ankoku no sora, class=SpellE>hibiwarete-yukustyle='color:black'> enrai no class=GramE>oto, style='color:black'>tachidomaru class=SpellE>tabi ashimoto ga,style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'> yureru.” Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly, the sound of distant, cracking
thunder. Whenever I stand, my steps
sway.

How did you come across me anyway?
I was searching for my sister in hopes of finding someone who could love me,
and yet I saw you first instead. The Fates had cursed me to lay eyes upon the
legendary Youko Kurama instead. And now here we were, wrapped in each other’s
embrace, though only one was holding the other with love. Thee I e I don’t
deserve….

“Atatakaistyle='color:black'> hito no kotoba
wo class=SpellE>karite, natsukashii hi no class=SpellE>sugata wo class=SpellE>karite, oshiyosete-kuru class=SpellE>akuyume-tachi.” Borrowing the
words of a warm person, borrowing the form of nostalgic days, bad dreams step
ever closer.

style='color:black'>Nightmare!

I will have nightmares tonight. The
nightmares of voices surrounding me, overwhelming me, trying to make me fall
once again, but somehow I manage to break through as always, but not before
visiting a nightmare of death….death of those around me….

Deaf of those
around me.

“Fushigistyle='color:black'> naclass=GramE> koe tsumetai class=SpellE>te, yami class=SpellE>kara call me class=SpellE>nandomo call me, ittai class=SpellE>nani ga, tadashikute,
ittai nani class=SpellE>ga machigai na
no ka! Omoide-tachi yo! class=SpellE>Ima class=SpellE>sugu kono kurayami
wo terashite class=SpellE>kureclass=GramE>!” A strange voice, a cold hand....From
out of the darkness, they call me. Again and again, they call me. What in the
world is right? What in the world is wrong? Memories! Please, illuminate this
darkness immediately!

The song seemed to drift and
disappear away within the valley. The tree groaned as the sky turned to night
with the stars shining their brilliant essence. My hold on Kurama tightened as
I realized the dreams were soon to come. I couldn’t stop the voices from coming
to me, no matter how hard I tried or what I did, so I closed my eyes and waited
for Hell’s sounds to come.

“Madowasarerustyle='color:black'> naclass=GramE> me ni utsuru mono
ni, kizusuita class=SpellE>mirai oitsumeru no class=SpellE>wa, kudakareta class=SpellE>asu fuminijiru no class=SpellE>wa, kono mune
ni aru ayafuya
sa. style='color:black'>Love. class=SpellE>Anata no koe yasashii
te, yume
kara call me class=SpellE>nandomo call me, hageshii class=SpellE>ame ni utarete
mo, tsumetai, kaze class=SpellE>ni sarasarete mo, class=SpellE>hikari wo motomete
yamanai, ano class=SpellE>juboku no takumashisa class=SpellE>omoishiru.” Don't
be fooled by what you see. My heart is uncertain if it should track down the
wounded future or tread on the broken tomorrow. Love. Your
voice, your gentle hands, they call me from out of these dreams.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Always, they call me. Even when struck by the
fierce rain. Even when blown by cold winds. Seeking the light, I think of that tree's
strength.

Sometimes
I wish we never met at all.

~*~*~*~

Taisetsu na class=SpellE>hito wo mamoru
tame narastyle='color:black;mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>

If it's to protect someone
precious to me

Dare class=SpellE>yori mo zutto hijou
ni mo naru

I'll become much more
extraordinary than anyone

Dare class=SpellE>yori mo zutto tsuyoku
naru

I'll become much stronger than
anyone

~*~*~*~

My eyes opened as the bell rang
within the building. I shook my head to clear the thoughts of yesterday’s
nightmare away to no prevail. It was terrible dream indeed….my lover’s mother,
Shiori, was attacked by thousands of demons. While I had few feelings for the
human, Kurama did. He was on the side, watching her being ripped to shreds
while he could do nothing. He could only stand there and look at the horrific
scene before him until the last trace of his mother was swept away….

A swarm of ningen
teenagers rushed out, laughing and talking to their friends before giving a
goodbye that would last until the next day. My kitsune walked out with
them, trying his best to avoid what he called his ‘over-hormonal stalkers,’ but
didn’t get far. It was pretty funny to watch, actually. Kurama walked briskly
towards the tree I sat in, but was suddenly stopped by another female.

I knew this girl. She was the
Youko’s #1 stalker, according to Kurama. Apparently she followed him
everywhere, even to the restroom at one point. Although he spoke poorly of her,
she was strikingly pretty. Many men looked at her with wanting eyes, though her
eyes were only on Kurama. She flicked her long black hair behind her shoulder,
showing her chest off perfectly. I lowered my ki,
wanting to know if the fox would go for her and take her to bed behind my back.
He’s going to do it, I thought. style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>He doesn’t love me, so he’ll go with the
girl.

“Hey, Shuu-chan,”
she said, scooting closer to the redhead. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” Kurama replied firmly. His
eyes darted back and forth, looking for my ki
signature. His brow furrowed when he couldn’t find it. “I have to meet
someone.”

I
see it now. He’s already got some whores of his own.

“And you don’t want to meet me
instead?” she questioned, batting her eyes. “C’mon love, let’s go to the park-“

“I said no Myakka-san,” he said in a firmer tone. “And don’t call me
‘love.’”

“Aw, come on, Shuuichi, it’s not
like you already love someone….”

“Who said I didn’t?” He smirked at
slipped past her, leaving the girl to pout by herself.

My eyes widened and I almost let my
guard down. No way….No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He doesn’t. He doesn’t. He
doesn’t.

Somehow I couldn’t convince myself
as I ran to Kurama’s house. I slipped through the window, sighing in relief to
find my kitsune’s presence absent. I walked into the kitchen, seeing Shiori at
the counter.

“Oh! Konnichi
wa, Hiei-kun,” she greeted me. “Is Shuuichi still at
school?”

“Um….yes.
He was a little busy,” I answered, trying to hide the jealously in my voice.
She nodded and handed me a cup of warm tea once I was seated at the table.

Kurama’s mother knew quite a lot.
After a bit of threats and sweet words from me, Kurama finally built the
courage to tell his mother everything. The only catch was that I had to be
there with him, or else he wouldn’t buy any more sweet snow for me. I told him it
was a dirty bribe, but somehow he managed to convince me. That damn Youko charm
again….I shouldn’t have fallen for his wants and needs….

“So how are you doing, Hiei-kun?”
Shiori sat across the table from me, a cup of her own in her hands. She was
kind and gentle, like my fox. Always so polite, despite the
circumstances….

“Not….bad,” I said with hesitation.
I looked up at her. “And you?”

“Not bad myself,” she replied with
a smile. “I earned a raise at my job and the house is clean, so everything has
been going well.”

“class=SpellE>Hn.” I ran my finger around the brim of my teacup,
really wanting to get out of here. Shiori seemed to look at me funny sometimes,
and I was sure it was from disgust of seeing the Forbidden Child. But she
always had a smile on during then….

“Hiei, can I ask you something?”

I looked back at her face. “Sure.”

“Has my son been acting unusual
lately?”

I blinked, taken aback. “No….Kurama
seems to be doing fine.”

“I know, but for a while he’s
fallen a little quiet around me,” she said with worry in her eyes. “He’s not
eating as much anymore….if I ask him what’s wrong he just says that it was a
hard day at school. I don’t think that’s possible to happen for two weeks
straight….”