Yoko's "Protection," Suichi's Suffering...
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Yuyu Hakusho › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
13
Views:
3,496
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Yuyu Hakusho › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
13
Views:
3,496
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own YuYu Hakusho, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Road to Recovery
ZOMG last chapter FINALLY! Sorry this took so long; I just started college and it's been really busy. Anyway, here is the heart-pounding (ok, not really) conclusion to this saga!!
----
Nothing. Nothing’s working. Yoko reigned in his frustration as Suichi shook his head again, muttering an apology. Yoko ignored it, wracking his brain for some way to try and get the boy’s memory back that they hadn’t tried yet. A glimmer of an idea presented itself, but he brushed it away impatiently. There’s a good chance that would work, but it would do nothing to ease his fear of me. Suichi’s eyes met his helplessly.
“I wish there was more I could do…” the boy whispered quietly.
Yoko smiled, shaking his head. “It’s not your fault, Suichi. You’re doing your best to remember; it’s my inability to trigger those memories that’s the problem…” He trailed off, reaching out to gently stroke Suichi’s cheek. The redhead cringed a little, but did not push him away. Even so, Yoko finally understood. He pulled his hand back. “You—you still don’t completely trust me, do you?”
Suichi opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. He sighed and looked away. “N-No, Master…”
“Suichi, in order for this to work you have to trust me,” Yoko said gently. “You need to open yourself up completely to my suggestions or else we’ll never reach the corners of your mind where those memories are hiding.”
“I’m s-sorry; I—“ Suichi stopped, looking frustrated with himself. “I can’t help it…”
Yoko pulled the redhead to him and kissed him, as sweetly and lovingly as he could muster, his hands sliding around Suichi’s waist to ease the knots of tension that had formed the moment their lips met. The boy whimpered, but made no effort to pull away.
Yoko released his lips, but trailed kisses up Suichi’s jaw. He nibbled the boy’s ear lightly. “Tell me when you want me to stop,” he purred. “I won’t go any further than that…”
Suichi swallowed. “Y-Yes, Master…” he said quietly, his eyes closed.
Yoko didn’t know where he was going with this, if he even was going somewhere with it, but he dragged his tongue down the side of Suichi’s neck, trailing kisses along the boy’s collarbone. He ran one finger lightly down the center of the redhead’s chest. Suichi sighed, his back arching into Yoko’s body. Yoko slid a hand under the redhead’s shirt slowly, relishing once more the feel of that satiny skin beneath his fingers.
Suichi whimpered, his back uncurling, and grabbed Yoko wrist reflexively. He promptly let go, looking wary, but Yoko understood. He reluctantly pulled his hand away and slid it around Suichi’s waist instead. Suichi sighed again, in relief this time.
“I won’t ever hurt you, Suichi,” Yoko crooned, pulling them both down to the furs. He pulled Suichi against him, burying his face in the luscious hair. His hands slid around to Suichi’s back, finding the tension, kneading the boy into relaxation. An idea was forming in Yoko’s mind.
Ten minutes later, Suichi was mush in Yoko’s arms, unresisting, in a trance of contentment that the fox knew would release the redhead’s inhibitions. He started with what he suspected was Suichi’s most vivid memory of him. “Suichi,” he murmured quietly, “You remember that day with the chastity belt, right?” Suichi nodded sleepily. “Good. I want you to try and remember where you were when I came to take it off…what you were doing. Start at the very beginning; silently walk yourself through that day as best you can…”
Normally, the memory would have made Suichi crunch up in a ball of fear, his mind unable to look past the pain. Now, in this almost hypnotized state, Suichi only nodded, and then was quiet for a while. “It was—I was in the shower…” he murmured finally. Yoko’s spirits leapt, but he didn’t get his hopes up too high.
“Yes, you were,” Yoko purred. He let Suichi relax again, falling back into his trance, before asking, “After I released you, I explained what I had been doing, why I had tormented you so. Try and drag up the events that followed and then tell me my reasons. I’ll tell you this much in hopes that it will trigger your memories: without the knowledge I gained from that experiment, I never would have dared bind you to me.”
The silence was so long and so profound that Yoko was afraid Suichi had fallen asleep. But the redhead stirred, lifting his head to meet Yoko’s eyes with his own drowsy, puzzled ones. “You—something about wanting to know how far you could go without my hating you… but, Master…I—I remember loathing you at that moment with all my heart.”
Yoko smiled, stroking Suichi’s hair, easing his qualms with gentle touches. “You only thought you hated me, Suichi. You were very, very upset with me; you felt betrayed and stupid for believing my words. You never hated me.” He smiled again, and moved on.
Hard as Yoko tried, Suichi could remember nothing more of that evening. He moved on, using each of Suichi’s retained memories as a starting point, coaxing the boy’s memories back to life fraction by fraction. So it went, for hours they sat there reminiscing, they worked at it until Suichi fell dead asleep in Yoko’s arms, but still it felt like Suichi remembered nothing.
Yoko sighed deeply and reviewed their progress. He remembers that those vines felt good, that he wanted them, and with that came the understanding that the only time I ever went against his wishes was in the very beginning, when I had no choice. He recalled that I only made him behave like a proper pet when we were in public view. What he does not recall is that which I most wish him to: he doesn’t remember loving me, all those times I was gentle and loving with him, they’re all still buried. Yoko closed his eyes and sighed again. Still, it’s a start. It’s a fantastic start, actually. Hopefully tomorrow we can end this insanity…
Yoko slunk through the night forest, trying to ignore his guilt at leaving Suichi behind, but trusting Kuronue enough to risk it. Guilt and rage still corroded his heart, but he ignored them for now, following his nose to where he had left Karasu.
He reined in the plants as he approached, but Karasu’s spent form proved that all was working as it should. Yoko prowled over.
“Wake up, bird,” he growled. Bloodshot eyes met his. Yoko smirked. “I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long, Karasu. But no matter—you’ve no food, no water, and I doubt that plant lets you sleep, so it shouldn’t be too much longer now, so don’t worry.”
“What do you want with me, fox?” Karasu rasped, the velvet all but gone from his voice.
“You left business unfinished, Karasu, and you will finish it before you die,” Yoko hissed. “Tell me how to get those damn rings off of Suichi.”
Karasu’s nostrils flared. “Because you could possibly make this any worse if I don’t,” he growled.
Yoko smiled. “ I cannot, that is true. I can and will, however, grant the death wish you must be harbouring by now, after two days of nonstop plant-rape.”
Karasu managed a smirk of his own. “Too bad for me, then. You can’t get them off yourself, fox. They are welded shut. I could do it myself had I any energy, but I’m afraid these plants have drained all my demon energy.” Triumph glittered in his eyes. “Serves you right, though, doesn’t it? Now you will never forget the consequences of what you’ve done. Every time you look at that silly little human you went and fell in love with, I will be staring back at you. The guilt of desertion will never leave you so long as that constant reminder is there. You will always remember that it was your fault I got my hands on Suichi. You will never forget it.” Karasu tilted his head and smiled crookedly. “So then, fox. Looks like I win in the end, doesn’t it?”
It took every ounce of Yoko’s self control to stop himself from tearing the raven apart right there. He turned on his heel, his rage feeding his plant’s endeavors, and Karasu’s hoarse shrieks followed him back to the cave.
Yoko had an idea. It wouldn’t be nice, and it involved one memory Suichi could do without, but it was all he had left to go on.
“Can you remember your mother’s face, Suichi?” he asked. After a slight hesitation, Suichi nodded, his eyes half closed, curled up in Yoko’s arms once more. Yoko licked his lips nervously, and said, “I want you to tell me why she let you leave. Why did she allow you to leave home when you had just finished high school?”
The silence was long and pregnant. Yoko could almost feel Suichi’s concentration, the effort he put into that one task. His hands danced down the redhead’s back, working away the tension before it could form. Suichi took a long time, his brow furrowed, eyes squeezed shut.
“It-it had something to do with you…” he whispered finally, still deep in concentration. He went quiet again.
Yoko decided to help him out a little. “Hospital,” he murmured.
Suichi took the hint without questioning anything. After a moment he whispered, “You—drugged her, so she wouldn’t wake up if I made too much noise, and then—then…” he stopped again. “Then the police arrived and put her in the hospital…” Another long moment of silence before Suichi’s eyes opened. “I—I told her the truth, all of it, when she awoke, and she—she was upset… I just don’t remember why…”
“Gay,” Yoko hinted. His heart rate was speeding up now; he was sure this particular memory would make Suichi remember how he’d once felt.
Suichi nodded slowly. “She didn’t trust you…she believed you’d molested me and that you were conning me, seducing me…but what she really didn’t like was that I…liked…it…?”
Yoko worked to keep the excited quaver out of his voice. “H-How did she think I was seducing you, Suichi? W-What was I doing or saying…?”
Another long silence that was made all the longer by the anticipation Yoko tried to control. Suichi looked up at him. “S-She believed you were lying to me,” he whispered.
“About what?”
Suichi spoke slowly as the memory returned. “She thought you were lying when you said you loved me…” he looked up, eyes wide, “…and that I was tricked into thinking I loved you back….but really—really she was just rationalizing her despair at the knowledge that her only son had—had fallen madly in love with another guy.” Suichi met Yoko’s eyes. “But—she was wrong; I did love you…and you loved me…” There were tears in his eyes.
Yoko couldn’t suppress his yelp of joy, and he pulled Suichi to him, burying his face in Suichi’s hair joyfully. Suichi’s arms wrapped around him, pulling the fox into an embrace that was far too strong for the boy’s slender frame. Yoko thought his heart would burst with the joy that suddenly flooded it.
“M-Master…I can’t believe I forgot…” Suichi whispered.
Yoko’s heart dropped again. He bit back a sigh of disappointment. I should have known better, he realized bitterly. I should have known that simply regaining his memory would cure him of Karasu’s training… He remembers his emotions, but…do they remain…?
“Even if—even if I’m not the same Suichi that I once was,” Suichi whispered, “I still—I still love you, Master. Even though I know you don’t. Not anymore, at least…”
Yoko made Suichi look at him. “It’s—it’s not like that, Suichi,” he said. “I—it’s true that it was the memory of you I was in love with, but that doesn’t mean I don’t—I…” Yoko was bewildered by his own emotions. He didn’t think there were words that could properly convey what was tumbling through his heart at that moment.
“Master…” Suichi whispered, laying his cheek back on Yoko’s chest. “I want—I want things to go back to how they were. I want to return as much as I can to how I used to be. I’m so tired of being afraid! I want to trust you with every last cell of my body, the way I used to…”
Yoko rested his cheek on Suichi’s head and closed his eyes. “Gods know I want that too, Suichi. I want my bright-eyed, smiling, sweet Suichi back with all my heart. Even if it is just empty dreaming…”
“Then I’ll try as hard as I can, for both of us…Y-Yoko…” Suichi was a ball of tension again as Yoko dropped his eyes to meet his. He was clearly terrified of the consequences; the scene was no doubt playing in his mind.
Yoko smiled warmly. “You don’t know how much that means to me, Suichi,” he whispered. “Thank you for daring to trust me…” He kissed Suichi, his heart soaring as the boy relaxed into his arms with a happy whimper. It wouldn’t be easy, Yoko knew that much. It would be a long and painful road they had to follow. But he also knew Suichi was strong. He would pull through and make a spectacular recovery. Yoko had no doubt about that.
----
Nothing. Nothing’s working. Yoko reigned in his frustration as Suichi shook his head again, muttering an apology. Yoko ignored it, wracking his brain for some way to try and get the boy’s memory back that they hadn’t tried yet. A glimmer of an idea presented itself, but he brushed it away impatiently. There’s a good chance that would work, but it would do nothing to ease his fear of me. Suichi’s eyes met his helplessly.
“I wish there was more I could do…” the boy whispered quietly.
Yoko smiled, shaking his head. “It’s not your fault, Suichi. You’re doing your best to remember; it’s my inability to trigger those memories that’s the problem…” He trailed off, reaching out to gently stroke Suichi’s cheek. The redhead cringed a little, but did not push him away. Even so, Yoko finally understood. He pulled his hand back. “You—you still don’t completely trust me, do you?”
Suichi opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. He sighed and looked away. “N-No, Master…”
“Suichi, in order for this to work you have to trust me,” Yoko said gently. “You need to open yourself up completely to my suggestions or else we’ll never reach the corners of your mind where those memories are hiding.”
“I’m s-sorry; I—“ Suichi stopped, looking frustrated with himself. “I can’t help it…”
Yoko pulled the redhead to him and kissed him, as sweetly and lovingly as he could muster, his hands sliding around Suichi’s waist to ease the knots of tension that had formed the moment their lips met. The boy whimpered, but made no effort to pull away.
Yoko released his lips, but trailed kisses up Suichi’s jaw. He nibbled the boy’s ear lightly. “Tell me when you want me to stop,” he purred. “I won’t go any further than that…”
Suichi swallowed. “Y-Yes, Master…” he said quietly, his eyes closed.
Yoko didn’t know where he was going with this, if he even was going somewhere with it, but he dragged his tongue down the side of Suichi’s neck, trailing kisses along the boy’s collarbone. He ran one finger lightly down the center of the redhead’s chest. Suichi sighed, his back arching into Yoko’s body. Yoko slid a hand under the redhead’s shirt slowly, relishing once more the feel of that satiny skin beneath his fingers.
Suichi whimpered, his back uncurling, and grabbed Yoko wrist reflexively. He promptly let go, looking wary, but Yoko understood. He reluctantly pulled his hand away and slid it around Suichi’s waist instead. Suichi sighed again, in relief this time.
“I won’t ever hurt you, Suichi,” Yoko crooned, pulling them both down to the furs. He pulled Suichi against him, burying his face in the luscious hair. His hands slid around to Suichi’s back, finding the tension, kneading the boy into relaxation. An idea was forming in Yoko’s mind.
Ten minutes later, Suichi was mush in Yoko’s arms, unresisting, in a trance of contentment that the fox knew would release the redhead’s inhibitions. He started with what he suspected was Suichi’s most vivid memory of him. “Suichi,” he murmured quietly, “You remember that day with the chastity belt, right?” Suichi nodded sleepily. “Good. I want you to try and remember where you were when I came to take it off…what you were doing. Start at the very beginning; silently walk yourself through that day as best you can…”
Normally, the memory would have made Suichi crunch up in a ball of fear, his mind unable to look past the pain. Now, in this almost hypnotized state, Suichi only nodded, and then was quiet for a while. “It was—I was in the shower…” he murmured finally. Yoko’s spirits leapt, but he didn’t get his hopes up too high.
“Yes, you were,” Yoko purred. He let Suichi relax again, falling back into his trance, before asking, “After I released you, I explained what I had been doing, why I had tormented you so. Try and drag up the events that followed and then tell me my reasons. I’ll tell you this much in hopes that it will trigger your memories: without the knowledge I gained from that experiment, I never would have dared bind you to me.”
The silence was so long and so profound that Yoko was afraid Suichi had fallen asleep. But the redhead stirred, lifting his head to meet Yoko’s eyes with his own drowsy, puzzled ones. “You—something about wanting to know how far you could go without my hating you… but, Master…I—I remember loathing you at that moment with all my heart.”
Yoko smiled, stroking Suichi’s hair, easing his qualms with gentle touches. “You only thought you hated me, Suichi. You were very, very upset with me; you felt betrayed and stupid for believing my words. You never hated me.” He smiled again, and moved on.
Hard as Yoko tried, Suichi could remember nothing more of that evening. He moved on, using each of Suichi’s retained memories as a starting point, coaxing the boy’s memories back to life fraction by fraction. So it went, for hours they sat there reminiscing, they worked at it until Suichi fell dead asleep in Yoko’s arms, but still it felt like Suichi remembered nothing.
Yoko sighed deeply and reviewed their progress. He remembers that those vines felt good, that he wanted them, and with that came the understanding that the only time I ever went against his wishes was in the very beginning, when I had no choice. He recalled that I only made him behave like a proper pet when we were in public view. What he does not recall is that which I most wish him to: he doesn’t remember loving me, all those times I was gentle and loving with him, they’re all still buried. Yoko closed his eyes and sighed again. Still, it’s a start. It’s a fantastic start, actually. Hopefully tomorrow we can end this insanity…
Yoko slunk through the night forest, trying to ignore his guilt at leaving Suichi behind, but trusting Kuronue enough to risk it. Guilt and rage still corroded his heart, but he ignored them for now, following his nose to where he had left Karasu.
He reined in the plants as he approached, but Karasu’s spent form proved that all was working as it should. Yoko prowled over.
“Wake up, bird,” he growled. Bloodshot eyes met his. Yoko smirked. “I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long, Karasu. But no matter—you’ve no food, no water, and I doubt that plant lets you sleep, so it shouldn’t be too much longer now, so don’t worry.”
“What do you want with me, fox?” Karasu rasped, the velvet all but gone from his voice.
“You left business unfinished, Karasu, and you will finish it before you die,” Yoko hissed. “Tell me how to get those damn rings off of Suichi.”
Karasu’s nostrils flared. “Because you could possibly make this any worse if I don’t,” he growled.
Yoko smiled. “ I cannot, that is true. I can and will, however, grant the death wish you must be harbouring by now, after two days of nonstop plant-rape.”
Karasu managed a smirk of his own. “Too bad for me, then. You can’t get them off yourself, fox. They are welded shut. I could do it myself had I any energy, but I’m afraid these plants have drained all my demon energy.” Triumph glittered in his eyes. “Serves you right, though, doesn’t it? Now you will never forget the consequences of what you’ve done. Every time you look at that silly little human you went and fell in love with, I will be staring back at you. The guilt of desertion will never leave you so long as that constant reminder is there. You will always remember that it was your fault I got my hands on Suichi. You will never forget it.” Karasu tilted his head and smiled crookedly. “So then, fox. Looks like I win in the end, doesn’t it?”
It took every ounce of Yoko’s self control to stop himself from tearing the raven apart right there. He turned on his heel, his rage feeding his plant’s endeavors, and Karasu’s hoarse shrieks followed him back to the cave.
Yoko had an idea. It wouldn’t be nice, and it involved one memory Suichi could do without, but it was all he had left to go on.
“Can you remember your mother’s face, Suichi?” he asked. After a slight hesitation, Suichi nodded, his eyes half closed, curled up in Yoko’s arms once more. Yoko licked his lips nervously, and said, “I want you to tell me why she let you leave. Why did she allow you to leave home when you had just finished high school?”
The silence was long and pregnant. Yoko could almost feel Suichi’s concentration, the effort he put into that one task. His hands danced down the redhead’s back, working away the tension before it could form. Suichi took a long time, his brow furrowed, eyes squeezed shut.
“It-it had something to do with you…” he whispered finally, still deep in concentration. He went quiet again.
Yoko decided to help him out a little. “Hospital,” he murmured.
Suichi took the hint without questioning anything. After a moment he whispered, “You—drugged her, so she wouldn’t wake up if I made too much noise, and then—then…” he stopped again. “Then the police arrived and put her in the hospital…” Another long moment of silence before Suichi’s eyes opened. “I—I told her the truth, all of it, when she awoke, and she—she was upset… I just don’t remember why…”
“Gay,” Yoko hinted. His heart rate was speeding up now; he was sure this particular memory would make Suichi remember how he’d once felt.
Suichi nodded slowly. “She didn’t trust you…she believed you’d molested me and that you were conning me, seducing me…but what she really didn’t like was that I…liked…it…?”
Yoko worked to keep the excited quaver out of his voice. “H-How did she think I was seducing you, Suichi? W-What was I doing or saying…?”
Another long silence that was made all the longer by the anticipation Yoko tried to control. Suichi looked up at him. “S-She believed you were lying to me,” he whispered.
“About what?”
Suichi spoke slowly as the memory returned. “She thought you were lying when you said you loved me…” he looked up, eyes wide, “…and that I was tricked into thinking I loved you back….but really—really she was just rationalizing her despair at the knowledge that her only son had—had fallen madly in love with another guy.” Suichi met Yoko’s eyes. “But—she was wrong; I did love you…and you loved me…” There were tears in his eyes.
Yoko couldn’t suppress his yelp of joy, and he pulled Suichi to him, burying his face in Suichi’s hair joyfully. Suichi’s arms wrapped around him, pulling the fox into an embrace that was far too strong for the boy’s slender frame. Yoko thought his heart would burst with the joy that suddenly flooded it.
“M-Master…I can’t believe I forgot…” Suichi whispered.
Yoko’s heart dropped again. He bit back a sigh of disappointment. I should have known better, he realized bitterly. I should have known that simply regaining his memory would cure him of Karasu’s training… He remembers his emotions, but…do they remain…?
“Even if—even if I’m not the same Suichi that I once was,” Suichi whispered, “I still—I still love you, Master. Even though I know you don’t. Not anymore, at least…”
Yoko made Suichi look at him. “It’s—it’s not like that, Suichi,” he said. “I—it’s true that it was the memory of you I was in love with, but that doesn’t mean I don’t—I…” Yoko was bewildered by his own emotions. He didn’t think there were words that could properly convey what was tumbling through his heart at that moment.
“Master…” Suichi whispered, laying his cheek back on Yoko’s chest. “I want—I want things to go back to how they were. I want to return as much as I can to how I used to be. I’m so tired of being afraid! I want to trust you with every last cell of my body, the way I used to…”
Yoko rested his cheek on Suichi’s head and closed his eyes. “Gods know I want that too, Suichi. I want my bright-eyed, smiling, sweet Suichi back with all my heart. Even if it is just empty dreaming…”
“Then I’ll try as hard as I can, for both of us…Y-Yoko…” Suichi was a ball of tension again as Yoko dropped his eyes to meet his. He was clearly terrified of the consequences; the scene was no doubt playing in his mind.
Yoko smiled warmly. “You don’t know how much that means to me, Suichi,” he whispered. “Thank you for daring to trust me…” He kissed Suichi, his heart soaring as the boy relaxed into his arms with a happy whimper. It wouldn’t be easy, Yoko knew that much. It would be a long and painful road they had to follow. But he also knew Suichi was strong. He would pull through and make a spectacular recovery. Yoko had no doubt about that.