rate_review Reviews

Great chapter update soon!!!

nah nah nah nah nah nah ((taunts)) i get to read it before everyone else! lol jk, even though i DO get to read it....dont forget to keep sending me those chaps chicka, i'll get them all fixed up for ya.

Ok read the second chapter...glad you found your beta, but you still need help organizing your thoughts a little better. Also it is spelled "Yusuke" with an extra "u". It might be spelled the other way but for this show and that character it is Yusuke. One last thing though, my sister was going to be emancipated. You can't just go to court and get an emancipation especially if you are a teenager. You need adult consent.


Good luck again hun! ^^

hey krys course i'll be your beta, thats my job, you just keep forgetting to send me things!

Well you do need a beta. Not just for your grammar and spelling but to better organize your ideas. You have too many run-on sentences which can easily be fixed with punctuation. You have numerous spelling errors such as your title lol although I think that wasn't intentional. And I hope that you develop your character a little more so she doesn't turn into a Mary Sue. You have paired her with Hiei I noticed and that is usually a Mary Sue trap. However there are a couple times it has been done with other characters and the OCs weren't Mary Sues so be extremely careful with that...other than that...good luck hun!