rate_review Reviews

WOW! This is really good! I am enjpying this story immensely! I hope you update soon. ^_~

That was a great lemon, awkward in some places but still good!

I like yor story! Keep writing ! I look forward to reading more,

Are you going to pair Hiei with Shizuru? If so, good.

Oh boy, if there is a threat to Shizuru, Kazuma is NOT going to be happy. After all, the only family the Kuwabara siblings have, is each other.
So Shizuru han now form a shield? That's cool - and good for her. It sounds like she'll need it.

I think you're right Alter. As far as the cannon story-line goes, Hiei would only threatened Koenma over Yukina.
But then no ne of close non-powered friends were threatened. If Hiei is looking at Shizuru the same way Touya is looking at Keiko, then he would act that way.

Yeah Hiei-sama! I didn't think that he'd go that far... well he threatened Koenma before I think, but not over someone else. Maybe Yukina? Oh Kazzy! Check my facts!

Two stalkers sitting in a tree.... *hmmm* Nope, wont even go there.
Very nice chapters. I liked them a lot... Keep up the good work and imagination!!

Ah that was funny as hell! I can still hear Keiko cursing at Hiei and Kurama like that! Okay now to the English lesson!

Dialogue is usually put in, "double quotation marks like so."

Right here it should be, "And Kurama, I know you’re in this fucking tree too!"
Of course if it were me, I'd say something like this, "And Kurama, I know you’re in the fucking tree with him so get down here!"

Also, I'm not going to give you direct spellings of words because I believe that would be insulting to your intelligence. Buy an English dictionary to check your spellings against an American standard dictionary. My sister and I usually sound things out and then check them.

Another thing is the endings to words. Someone mentioned that you're having trouble with tenses. You know, words with endings like asking, asked, and asks.

Don't forget modifiers! I really hate those things! It would pain me greatly to explain them since I can't personally explain how they work! Check out this website:

http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/useavaj.html

Please, anyone else feel free to call me out if I give misinformation!

Thank you Altar!

UPDATE!!! :)