Behind Closed Doors

“C’mon they’re going to be here soon,” the voice pleaded softly.

Hiei pushed himself up onto his elbows in the nest of pillows, “So?”

“You need to get dressed. C’mon, please, Hiei.”

Hiei pushed himself back onto his heels and glanced down at his body, already knowing he was in a full state of arousal. He smirked, “It seems I have a problem.”

“Please, Hiei…please.” The words were barely a whisper. Yusuke slowly backed away, but Hiei grabbed his wrist. “They’re going to be here any minute, Hiei,” the brunet protested as he feebly tried to pull away. He was pushed and pulled until his back was against Hiei’s chest and the petite koorime was pushing him down onto his shaft. Yusuke moaned, whimpering as the fire demon’s substantial erection penetrated his body. “Hiei, please,” he gasped out, his words cut off when a sword calloused hand wrapped around his throat.

“You know you like it,” Hiei growled as he rocked his hips and guided Yusuke’s body along his shaft. A whimper escaped Yusuke’s throat as Hiei gripped his shaft, hardening under the assault, a trained serpent rising to its master’s touch. “See, you like it,” Hiei growled again, fisting the rising flesh as he continued to guide Yusuke’s body.

“We’re here,” echoed from behind the partially closed door

Yusuke tried to freeze, tried to find some way to hide his shame, but Hiei just moved him harder, worked him faster. His body betrayed him as his mind swirled in shame. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he felt the all too familiar pressure of his body’s release. He could hear Hiei grunting behind him and he knew it would soon be over. He tried to take his mind away, but green eyes met his at the moment of his body’s ultimate betrayal. Hiei grunted hard and pulled his shaft in just such a way to make him come. He hated it. He hated his body and shame flooded his mind. His weakness had been seen, seen by the one he least wanted to see it. His eyes closed, the tears in their corners leaking down his cheeks as Hiei pushed him into the bed, off his spent shaft. Yusuke could feel the koorime’s release leaking out his abused hole, could feel his own on his stomach and wanted so much to cry, to run away, to kill himself. But, he was strong, he didn’t cry, he didn’t run away, and he’d already been denied death once. He was strong, things like this weren’t supposed to happen to him. A slap on his ass pulled his thoughts away from self-pity.

“Get dressed, slut.” Hiei was already in his pants, his shirt in hand as he walked toward the door. The green eyes were gone when Yusuke looked back to the door, the door fully closed now.

“Don’t touch me again,” he growled, trying to make it sound dangerous.

Hiei laughed, fisting Yusuke’s hair in his hand, “You enjoyed it, detective. You can’t tell me otherwise.” He ran his finger through the betrayal on Yusuke’s body, “Here’s the proof,” he smirked, shoving the finger between Yusuke’s lips.

Yusuke wanted to scream, wanted to yell, but they’d been here before. The koorime’s logic was very simple: He came, he enjoyed it. Yusuke tried arguing. He’d tried getting away, but he couldn’t. Hiei’s parole kept him in the city. Yusuke’s obligations kept him in the city. He couldn’t get away. Why had he let this sick game start in the first place? Was there any way to stop it? And now, Kurama knew. Yusuke pushed against Hiei’s chest, but the koorime only laughed at the futile gesture. “The great Urameshi. I wonder what Toguro would think of you now?” Hiei continued to laugh as he walked to the door, “Hurry up and get dressed or the kitsune will get too curious.”

Yusuke swore mentally as his pushed himself off the bed, his body too well trained to be sore. He wiped off his abdomen and ass with a dirty shirt and tossed it into the hamper. He quickly pulled on his shirt and jeans, not bothering with underwear. If Hiei were in a mood after the meeting, they’d not last, anyways. Hiei had at least enough courtesy to keep his pants in tact. Anything else, that was subject to the koorime’s whim.

Looking in the mirror, Yusuke tried to keep his mind focused, but he lost the battle and stared into his vacant eyes, remembering their first encounter. He thought it was love, or some form of lust, but he had wanted to be with Hiei. He’d started this.

He’d gone to Hiei with awkward confessions that he found the koorime attractive. It’d taken months to work through the issues in his head about being attracted to another male, to work up the courage to approach the distant koorime with these feelings. Their first time together, had been wonderful, he had enjoyed it. But, as Hiei was leaving, he whispered into Yusuke’s ear, “You’re mine now. You can’t leave and you can’t deny me when I want you.” Fear had clenched around Yusuke’s heart, and he watched as Hiei lifted the ward off his jagan. Even though the eye hadn’t affected him before, Yusuke was sure it had. He felt his will shatter and since then, he’d been unable to stop Hiei, unable to control their encounters. What Hiei wanted, Hiei got, regardless of Yusuke’s feelings. Sometimes, he was gentle, caring, exploring Yusuke’s body with kisses and caresses. These times, Yusuke enjoyed, his mind joining his body’s release. But, mostly, it was like it had just been, his body came while his mind cried in protest.

“Yusuke?” the soft alto of the kitsune’s voice floated in the room.

“Shit!” the word escaped before Yusuke could stop it.

Kurama slipped into the room, “They’ve gone ahead. Yusuke, are you okay?”

Yusuke forced a smile, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” His voice didn’t shake. He was proud of that since everything else in his body was threatening to fall apart.

Kurama stepped closer to Yusuke. “I saw what was happening, Yusuke.”

“It was nothing,” Yusuke spoke too quickly.

“Yusuke, he was raping you.”

“I never said no, Kurama. You can’t rape if you never say no.”

“That’s not true, Yusuke. You didn’t want…”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Kurama!” Yusuke tried to push past the redhead, only to have Kurama grab his arm. “Let me go,” he growled.

“Yusuke, do you want him touching you?”

“I approached him,” Yusuke evaded directly answering the question.

“Just now, you approached him?” Kurama’s eyes were sharp as he tried to get Yusuke to meet his gaze.

Yusuke tried to push away from Kurama, but his arm shook and he collapsed into the redhead’s chest, long denied tears falling from his eyes. Kurama stood a moment in shock and began caressing the teen’s back. Words began falling with tears, not making sense at first, but gradually resolving into, “…want to be loved. Is that wrong? He…he was so gentle our first time. Then he said I was his and I couldn’t deny him. I had to. He said I had to. I just want to be loved.” Yusuke’s voice broke as a sob wracked his body.

Kurama continued to hold Yusuke, the brunet’s legs collapsing and pulling them both to the ground, but the redhead held fast, offering what comfort he could. He had no words. He knew Hiei didn’t love Yusuke. But, he couldn’t say that. He could feel the anger rising in his throat, threatening to strangle him, to bring out Youko. But, that would not help Yusuke. Yusuke’s sobs began to take on a slightly hysterical note and Kurama pulled the brunet from his chest, “Yusuke?”

“I’m weak, I’m weak, useless. I’m nothing!” Over and over the words feel from Yusuke’s mouth.

Kurama shook Yusuke slightly, “Yusuke! Listen to me! Yusuke!” But the brunet’s words continued to fall. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and slapped Yusuke, bringing his hand back across the brunet’s other cheek on its return. Yusuke stopped and stared at Kurama. “Yusuke, please listen to me, okay?”

“You hit me?” Yusuke’s voice was pale.

“You were hysterical, Yusuke. I’m so sorry, I really am.”

Yusuke wilted, “What?”

“Yusuke, I…” the words caught in Kurama’s throat when dead brown eyes looked at him. “Yusuke,” he began again, “let me take you away.” He wondered where in the three realms they could go.

“I can’t leave him. He told me I couldn’t.”

Kurama frowned, “He told you you couldn’t?”

Yusuke nodded, “The first time…he used his jagan and told me I couldn’t deny him.”

Kurama had to choke down the anger he felt threatening to strangle him, to bring out his darker side. Very carefully, he asked, “Hiei’s jagan didn’t work on you when he first tried it, why do you believe it worked this time?”

“He…I can’t say no.” Yusuke looked away, tears threatening his eyes again.

“Why? What are you afraid of?”

“I think…I think it’s more I hope it will be like it was,” Yusuke’s voice choked. “It started so good, he was so gentle, so considerate. It felt good. Sometimes it still does.”

Kurama frowned, “Enough to make up for the times it feels bad?”

Yusuke looked to the side, “I get off…”

Kurama cut him off, “That doesn’t mean anything, Yusuke. You know that. I saw it in your eyes. I saw, Yusuke. I saw your eyes. You’re in pain.” He reached out to touch Yusuke’s face. “Let me help you, please.”

“What can you do?” Yusuke’s voice was bitter. “We can’t leave this city, none of us. You’re on parole, same as he is. He’ll find me where ever I am in this city, where ever I go.”

“You can tell him you don’t want him anymore.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?!” Yusuke pushed to his feet, storming across the room to his closet. “Don’t you think I’ve tried?” he whisper, his voice full of pain.

Kurama walked behind Yusuke, carefully keeping just enough distance between them not to crowd the brunet, but to still be within reach. “Yusuke, I’ll help you.”

“Help?” Yusuke snorted, whirling on the redhead.

Before Yusuke could say anything else, Kurama’s mouth was on his, the redhead’s hands in his hair. Yusuke’s mouth was parted in shock and Kurama used the opportunity to slip his tongue in. Yusuke remained frozen in shock, his arms out to his sides while his brain tried to comprehend that Kurama was kissing him. The redhead tried to pour everything he felt for Yusuke into that one kiss, afraid he’d never get the chance again. When Yusuke’s hands came to his arms, he expected to be shoved away, thrown across the room, but Yusuke just held him. Very slow, cautiously, Kurama pulled back, breaking their kiss.

“Why?” Yusuke breathed out, his eyes too wide in his face as he looked at Kurama.

“Because…” Kurama hesitated, and then began again, “because I love you, Yusuke.”

“Liar!” Yusuke threw the redhead across the room and Kurama’s back met the wall hard enough to wind the redhead. “Liar!” Yusuke fell to his knees, his hands fisted at his temples. “Liar,” he whimpered as he collapsed over his knees.

Kurama crawled across the floor on his hands and knees, “Yusuke, I mean it.”

“No. No. You can’t mean it. You can’t,” Yusuke was sobbing again, this time the sound complete despair. “You can’t.”

“Why, Yusuke?” Kurama’s voice was soft, soothing, trying to calm, “Why can’t I mean it? Why can’t I love you?”

“He said, he said,” Yusuke’s head came up, his eyes wild, “You can’t!”

“Why, Yusuke?” Kurama reached out.

Yusuke pulled away, pushing with his hands, his jean clad legs sliding over the floor, “He said I’m his, you can’t love me.”

Kurama paused, blinking at this declaration. He reached out very gently with his ki, feeling Yusuke’s energy react to his in a scattered way, greeting him and pushing him away. There was no trace of Hiei in the brunet’s energy, not a drop. “He hasn’t claimed you, Yusuke.”

“He said…”

“He hasn’t marked you as his, Yusuke. I’d feel it. You can feel me searching, I know you can, but I don’t feel him there.”

“He said…”

“He lied to you, Yusuke. He found a way to defeat you and he lied to you.” Kurama watched as his words made their way into Yusuke’s mind and it hurt him badly to watch Yusuke’s heart break more than it had been. He saw the one last hope, the hope that maybe Hiei did care, die in Yusuke’s eyes and he wanted to rip his own heart out for being the one to shatter that falsity.

Yusuke fell to his side, silent tears falling from his sightless eyes, his body numb. Kurama crawled to the brunet, reaching out to touch his hair. Not a reaction. He opened his ki again and the brunet’s had dimmed to barely a flicker, barely enough to sustain life. “Yusuke,” Kurama whispered, his eyes overflowing. He felt the brunet’s energy slip away from him and he reached out with his own and held it, “Please don’t leave me, Yusuke.” He struggled to hold on to Yusuke’s life as the brunet gave up the will to live. It was like trying to hold water in his bare hands, but he refused to give up. He pulled Yusuke’s body until the brunet was lying on his back and Kurama lay on top of him, his face hovering over Yusuke’s while he looked into the brunet’s dead eyes, “Please don’t leave me, Yusuke. I love you.” His voice choked and he almost missed the flicker that passed through Yusuke’s ki and eyes. He tried again, “I love you, Yusuke, I really do. I’m so sorry I didn’t see earlier.” There was a flicker again, a little stronger.

Kurama brought his lips gently to Yusuke’s, a light meeting of skin and he whispered again, “I love you.” He pressed his lips more firmly into Yusuke’s, kissing the brunet the way he wanted to, pouring his ki though his lips into the brunet. He wasn’t aware of it, but his body was changing as he poured his life into Yusuke. His hair grew silver and long, furred ears replacing his human ones. His body lengthened, filling out from his slim grace to something more substantial, though still thin. A tail swished lightly over their legs and still he didn’t notice. All that mattered was showing Yusuke there was someone who cared. He could feel the attention starved boy reaching for his love, for his life force, drinking it down into his soul. Yusuke’s body began to respond, he began to return Kurama’s kiss. Kurama pulled back slowly, “I love you, Yusuke.” When he heard his voice, he knew he’d changed.

“Youko?” Yusuke asked, dazed.

“So, you’ve marked him?” a snide voice drew them to look across the room.

“You almost killed him,” Kurama accused, his voice deep in his throat as he rose to his hands and knees over Yusuke.

“No, kitsune. You did that when you told him I hadn’t marked him. That I’d only sought to defeat him.”

“I told him the truth you wouldn’t and he already knew.” Kurama bristled.

“It worked out for your benefit, what do you care?” Hiei’s voice was cold, accusing.

“You hurt him,” Kurama’s voice made Hiei’s sound friendly.

“And? It gave you an opportunity…”

“Stop it!” Yusuke yelled, drawing gold and red eyes to him as he continued to lie on the floor beneath Kurama. He rolled over and Kurama moved to the side so he could get up. Yusuke glared at Hiei, “Is it true?”

Hiei shrugged, “It doesn’t matter now, does it? The kitsune has marked you, you belong to him.”

Yusuke glared at Hiei and then turned the glare onto Kurama, “Did you mark me?”

“I wasn’t intending to. I only wanted to save your life. I hurt you, Yusuke.”

“He admits it,” Hiei’s voice was snide.

“Shut up!” Yusuke yelled again. His hands went to the side of his head, “Hiei, was he telling me the truth?”

“Hn. He couldn’t have marked you if I had and you know the answer to if he has or not.”

“Hiei, get out. Get out now.” There was a dangerous edge to Yusuke’s voice as he continued to hold his head, his arms shaking. “Get out!” he screamed when the koorime didn’t move.

“Or what?”

Yusuke’s eyes were hard, vicious, glinting golden as he looked at the belligerent demon, “I’ll kill you.”

Whatever it was he saw, Hiei left without further comment. Yusuke continued to glare, staring at the door. He felt Kurama’s energy slipping away and he turned to see the redhead reemerging from the silver form. “I really only wanted to save you, Yusuke. I’m sorry I hurt you so badly.” Green eyes were on the floor and Yusuke could see the tears threatening to spill.

“Why?”

“I love you,” was the only answer Kurama could give. He looked over at Yusuke, “I didn’t mean to mark you. I really did only want to save you. You were slipping away.” He looked down again, “It scared me, the thought of losing you.”

“I don’t,” Yusuke said, his voice flat. Kurama looked over and Yusuke repeated, “I don’t love you. Not yet.” A twist of his lips, an attempt at a smile, “But, maybe…”

“I’m not going to force you to do anything, Yusuke.”

“What does it really mean, that you’ve marked me?”

“It means you can draw off my energy, off of me when you need it, or I can draw off of you. It means that to attack one of us is to attack both of us.”

“It means sex, doesn’t it?” Yusuke’s voice was painfully flat, dead again.

“Only if you’re willing. I won’t force you, and I’ll feel it if I force you.” Kurama’s paused, and Yusuke watched as he searched for words, “I can feel what you want, what you need, at the most basic level. But, just because you need something doesn’t mean you want it and if you don’t want it, there’s no way it’s happening.” His eyes met Yusuke’s frankly, “I can take care of my own physical needs. If you want sex, I’ll give it to you, but I don’t want you coming to me just because you think you should. I don’t really want sex, Yusuke. I want love.”

Yusuke rolled his feet out from under him, sitting back against the wall, “How ironic.” He looked over at the confused redhead, “Hiei, the koorime, the frozen, frigid bitches of the Makai, only wanted me for sex. You, a kitsune, sex god extraordinaire, and you won’t touch me unless I come willingly to you.”

“Hiei didn’t want sex. He wanted to defeat you. He wanted to hurt and confuse you.”

“And, of course, you intentions are more noble,” Yusuke’s voice bit into Kurama’s ears.

“I want you to live, Yusuke. When you’re strong enough, you can decide to mark me or I can remove my mark from you. But, while you want to die, I won’t let you go.”

“You’re a selfish bastard, Kurama.”

Kurama bit back his come back. “I don’t want to lie to you, Yusuke,” he managed, somewhat more diplomatic than what he wanted to say.

Yusuke snorted, the noise almost humorous. His eyes held some fear as he asked, “What about Hiei?”

“He won’t touch you again. If he does, one of us will kill him.” Kurama’s eyes were deadly serious, gold flashing through the green. An answering flash of gold in Yusuke’s eyes surprised him, but he filed it away to figure out later.

“Fine,” Yusuke growled. He stood, searching for a comb while Kurama stood with him. Yusuke brushed his hair, looking into the mirror without seeing his reflection. He then turned to Kurama, who had simply stood where he’d been kneeling. Yusuke walked over to him and stood close enough that if they both took a deep breath, they’d touch. “I don’t love you. Or maybe I do, I don’t know. The point is, thank you.” Yusuke leaned in and kissed Kurama on the cheek before turning and leaving the room.

“It’s a start,” Kurama murmured to the retreating form, softly enough that Yusuke didn’t hear. “It’s a start. That’s all I can ask for.”


A/N Another LJ rescue. I forgot how many chapters. Anyways...leave cookes and I leave more story.

I don't own 'em