Pets

Warning: I'm choosing not to warn. Reader beware.

 

Try wrecking your brain for good arguments against or for keeping pets; groan because you just can’t think of anything, because you never had a pet; consider calling Kuwabara, then reject that idea, because you know that he is out; entertain – for the briefest of moments – the notion of just for once ‘forgetting’ to do your homework, then frown because giving up is not your style; rub your temples and glare at the near-empty sheet for a while; decide that this won’t help and try staring out of the window and waiting for inspiration instead.



Glimpse Hiei and have an epiphany.

Contra: keeping a pet is expensive.

Hiei might be a demon from the Makai and thus be rather unaccustomed to the food of the human world, however, you couldn’t really tell when watching him gulp down literary mounds of ice-cream, candy and your mother’s favourite Belgian (imported!) chocolate, which you presented her with at your birthday. His eating habits, on the other hand, did show his origin.



Chocolate mouth, chocolate fingers – chocolate wallpaper and carpet and everything else that Hiei touches after his candy-gobbling spree.

Contra: a pet may destroy items you consider important.

Wallpaper and carpet, while not cheap, can certainly be replaced. The essay you wrote for class or your Maths homework can, of course, be replaced too, whenever Hiei comes in, wet from the rain outside and dripping all over the desk and ultimately the sheets you deposited there. Yet, you’d really rather not spend the better part of the night rewriting something you need to hand in the next day, while Hiei spends his time glaring at your back.



Or worse.

Contra: a pet may harm you in a fit of rage or when it feels that you do not give it enough attention.

When Hiei feels wronged, he can be quite vicious and vengeful. Contrary to popular belief – to Kazuma’s mostly – Hiei is not ‘sword-happy’ (or whatever the equivalent term of ‘trigger-happy’ would be). He is, however, ‘fire-happy’ and it’s not a rare occasion that you have to shed your clothes in a flash before the flames that feed merrily off of them do more than slightly singe your skin.

Pro: a pet may help you in dire situations.

There was this one time – the first time – that you were so surprised by Hiei’s pyromaniac tendencies, that you did not manage to get rid off your clothes in time to avoid having a severe burn. Really, who would expect it? In any case, while Hiei hadn’t shown himself to feel contrition, he had looked for that burn salve you kept in the kitchen, then applied it while calling you a ‘stupid idiot’ among other things. He looked cute and he was careful and deeds always speak louder than words, and consequently you couldn’t quite decide whether you should sulk or forgive him. You settled for a compromise.

Pro: a pet may offer companionship.

There was no way you’d just forgive and forget, but you were certainly willing to offer Hiei a chance to repent. A bed was close, though you couldn’t lie on it; not on your back, anyway. You also decided that it would only be fair if only you would be pleasured that night, because Hiei had found his satisfaction already, hadn’t he? (Bloody pyromaniac). You could still sit, you could still spread your legs, and a wet mouth offering wet relief was just what you wanted that day.

Pro: a pet may be a good lay.

Not that night, but certainly in general.



Now scratch out the last point – or better rewrite the whole paper – before your teacher thinks your into bestiality. You snort, you sigh, you feel Hiei’s glare intensifying as his patience grows thinner. You need to finish quickly or things will get hotter than you’d like. You resolve to get up extra-early tomorrow and re-write the essay then.

Contra: a pet will be a distraction.