Feeling Betrayed

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Yu Yu Hakusho

Feeling Betrayed (I had to put some kind of a title)
By: CrimsonFox

*****

POV is constantly changing, but it really isn't that hard to tell which one is which, so I don't really state who it is.

*****

I’m bleeding a lot. I hate it when I need help. I played with those bandits all too much before finishing them off. I’ve been around Kurama too much. He taught me about the fun of the well played battle. Let them think their winning, and pretend they actually have a chance before you go in for the kill. It is a thrill to see that surprise in their eyes when I thrust my sword through their most vital organs, but sometimes it reminds me of when Kurama betrayed me to save me from capital punishment. At least that was what he had told me were his reasons, but I know when he’s lying. He had done it to protect that damn detective.

He liked the detective, I could see it and it made my blood boil. I wanted the stupid fox to look at me like that. Damn it! That stupid thief had gotten the best of me. How had he gotten through my defenses? When had I started wanting to see him as much as possible? I go to him every time I’m hurt or it’s raining and I don’t want to sleep outside. He even accepts that I just have nothing better to do when I can't think of an excuse. I guess Yukina was right, I do love him. Who else could have convinced me to tell her the truth? He was even there by my side when I told her just because I asked him to…

I hiss at my damn wounds, one idiot had been hiding in the deep foliage of the forest and put an arrow through my shoulder, and it was staining my cloak, but I couldn’t get it out. I’m on my way to see the thief and at half my speed due to a dagger in my calf, I arrive in a few minutes on his windowsill. Before I go in, I notice that the lights in his room are off, but it’s too early for him to have gone to bed. I search the room in the dark, my eyes are almost as good in the dark as they are in the light, unfortunately.

My heart stops as I watch Kurama lay his head down on a shoulder of a familiar looking boy, wrapping their arms around one another. I can tell he is already in his pajamas, his silky green shirt left open. As I near my face close to the window with out touching it, I see that it was who I expected it to be. Damn Yusuke! I feel a sob shake my body before I flit off to the storage places near where I had first met Kurama. I use to think the only reason I lived was to protect Yukina, but I had to admit that the idiot would always be able to protect, or would die trying. All I had was Kurama, but it was now painfully obvious, he wasn’t mine and never would be. He was with the detective, but if he ever hurt Kurama in anyway, I’d be forced to kill him. I take a deep breath, standing a top one of the buildings and look down at the ground. It’s just far enough where if I jumped and didn’t bother to catch myself…

*****

I cry harder into Yusuke’s shoulder before he tucked me into bed, and sat on the edge of it. I couldn’t believe it, I had wished for my mother’s happiness only a few years ago, and now she was gone in a stupid car crash, and there was nothing I could do to save her.

“Relax,” I barely hear Yusuke over my sobs, “get some sleep.”

I can’t respond in anyway, and continue to cry even harder. Curling into a pathetic ball, I feel his hand on my back, comforting me.

But does he really expect to comfort me? I thank him for trying, but ask to be left alone.

“Okay,” he says softly, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” I mutter through the sheets. Once he’s gone, I feel the residue of Hiei’s ki he had been here recently, and I can smell his blood. He must be hurt again. I wonder why he didn’t come in. He might be the only one who could lift my spirits. I want to be in his arms, comforted by his deep soothing voice, which I love. Yes, love… I mean, do you think you could resist those large beautiful, garnet eyes, the richly toned voice, which is rare to hear, and those even rarer cute little smiles?

I get out of bed, wiping my face clean of those damn tears, and pad over to the window. There is a clutch at my heart when I see how much blood is on my windowsill. Hiei’s smell is everywhere. What is this? I pick up a small round stone. It’s smooth and cold, and glistened in the moon. It’s beautiful, a deep red, sort of like Hiei’s eyes… Hiei! Did he really cry? Is this a tear gem? I didn’t know that he could cry these. I need to find him; he’s lost so much blood.

I jump out the window following his scent.

*****

Hiei was starting to get dizzy from the loss of so much blood but he continued to sit on the edge of the building, letting his blood drip to the ground below him as he sat in a puddle of it. A shadow with hair that glowed red landed silently a few feet behind the shivering creature.

“Hiei,” Kurama breathed out, taking in the sight of all the bright red liquid. Relieved to see he was still alive.

“Hn, that was quick even for a Youko,” his voice had turned cold and uncaring.

“What?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“You’re hurt,” Kurama took a step closer.

“Why should you care?”

“What?”

“Go back to Yusuke,” he hissed and flitted off in to the dark of the night shadows.

“Hiei! Get back here, you’re hurt,” Kurama runs after him.

“Leave me alone,” Hiei growls, because he can’t seem to go too much faster than the fox due to his injuries.

“Let me help you. You came to my window for a reason.”

“Go away,” he ran faster, ignoring the pain in his calf.

“Hiei, you left something on my window besides half your blood.”

“Hn,” he kept running.

“I’m not letting you run anymore. You could get yourself hurt even more,” Kurama reached into his long red hair and pulled out a rose.

“You think you’re going to put me out of my miseries with your whip?” Hiei huffed, getting tired fast when he saw a bit of red being thrown straight at him. “What?” He stopped suddenly, holding a perfect rose.

“Finally,” Kurama jumped the smaller frame, settling his weight on the fire demon’s hips.

“Get off of me!” the smaller boy growled.

“No, I need to get this arrow out of your shoulder. Hold still,” he cautioned Hiei to brace himself.

“Grr... Augh!” he felt the shaft of the arrow in his shoulder move suddenly as Kurama broke the head of it off.

“This is going to hurt a lot so hang in there, okay,” he met angry garnet eyes with worry filled green ones.

“Ahh!” he felt the shaft slip from his shoulder.

“There we go. Now I need to get you out of your clothes- I mean cloak. I need to get you out of your cloak,” a deep blush rose on his cheeks as he started to unwind the white scarf from Hiei’s neck. “Do you feel okay?”

“I had an arrow through my shoulder and I have a knife in my leg,” and worse, I saw you with Yusuke, “How the fuck do you think I feel?”

“I was just wondering if the arrow had been poisoned,” Kurama choked back a few tears.

“Hn,” Hiei huffed turning away as Kurama continued to undress him.

Wrapping the scarf around Hiei’s shoulder and across his smooth, chiseled chest, Kurama managed to stop the bleeding. Pretending to smooth out the fabric, Kurama ran his hand over Hiei’s chest slowly, loving the slow rise and fall of the hot skin.

“Uh…uh, we better get to my room. I have a great salve that should heal these wounds quickly, okay?” he stood, picking up the small demon in his arms with ease.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he nearly shouted, but was secretly surprised with the fox’s strength, “Put me down, now.”

“Not with that leg,” he held the hot body even closer, wishing Hiei would stop kicking and enjoy the ride. Oops, that sent images to his perverted mind, and his blush darkened even more.

“Let me go, put me down you stupid fox.”

“Hm, you never called me that.”

Hiei stopped fighting back immediately, letting Kurama carry him back to his room in silence, praying that he couldn’t see the blush that took hold of his face.

*****

I fight the urge to lick my lips as I examine the perfectly muscled half naked body in front of me, begging to touch that smooth lightly tanned skin.

I’m not sure how, but I managed to get all of his wounds fixed up with out drooling over or groping him. It always amazes me the way he doesn’t scream when I use my most powerful of medicines that would make an S-class demon beg for mercy. Then again it just makes things easier, because I don’t have to worry about him waking… waking…

The sharp feel of tears building behind my now tightly closed eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Hiei’s sudden voice surprised me, but what was even more shocking was the concern I saw in those beautiful eyes.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” I wipe away at the unshed tears only to be replaced by more and more. I break down crying next to my bed.

“What happened?” he continued to stare at me.

“It’s mother… she was,” I have to breathe deeply, “there was an accident, and I …I couldn’t save her. There was nothing I could do. I watched her die.”

Small but strong and callused finger run through my hair, lightly massaging my scalp. It feels really good. I relax, pressing more into the hand.

*****

He looked like a sad kit who just wanted some attention, but for Kurama to be showing even that much emotion told me that there was definitely something wrong with him. The tears sparkled in the moon light seeping through his bedroom window, and he confesses to me that his beloved mother is gone.

My body is too damaged to move fast enough to catch him before he lands on the ground on his knees. I watch pathetically, unable to do anything to comfort him as he sobs into his bed.

I remember admiring his bright red hair when we were on the roof top, and apparently my fingers… all of my skin, actually… is yearning to touch it, play with it; just know how it feels between my fingers.

When did my hand get in his hair?

His eyes snap up to meet mine, and I freeze, afraid I made some wrong move, but he presses into my hand, telling me to continue. I run my hand through his hair, which is even silkier than I thought it would be.

Getting up the courage, I gathered him into my arms, and held him tightly, knowing this is what he needed. Being a fox he always loved physical contact. I knew that from when I first met him, he was always touching me, with a pat on the shoulder and the surprise hugs he liked to give me when he thought I was off guard… I pretended to be off guard a lot more after that. I loved his hugs; they were always a little too tight, restraining me. I felt like he was being protective or possessive of me.

I pull him tighter to my body, letting him know that I’m here for him… I love him… I think he gets the message, because the next thing I know I feel his arms start to wrap around my neck as his sobbing finally slows.

*****

I think my brain has shut down, because all I can understand is the need to press my lips to Hiei’s and I pull myself up that our lips meet and linger. Tears are still rolling down my face as I try to deepen the kiss, lapping my tongue across the crease between his lips.

*****

“Stop it,” I pull away. I want it so much, but I know it means nothing to him. He was just here with Yusuke…

*****

“I’m sorry,” I push out of his arms, or at least I try to, he holds me tight to his chest still. I don’t understand. He’s starting to confuse me, but I’m not looking a gift Hiei in the arms. If this is the closest I’m going to get…

Once my sobs die down, I sit up a little, “Thank you, and I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

“Hn,” he huffs, pushing a bit of hair out of my face and behind my ear, “How did it happen?”

I look at my hands, which are resting in my lap, pathetically. I guess I can’t hide it any longer. “Well, I guess, I was weak and tired from all the crying, and couldn’t help my urges… so… I just wanted to… I mean I’ve really liked you for a long time now… and I…”
“Not the kiss,” he says in a slightly annoyed voice, “Your mother, what happened to her?”

“Oh,” a bright blush settles on my cheeks, “I mean, um, there was an accident… she was driving home from the groceries, and there was an oncoming truck with a drunk driver… she… she didn’t even see him coming. Neither one lived,” my chest starts to heave again, and he pulls me into another hug.

“Shh… it’s okay…”

“Oh, Hiei… I don’t even have anyone to kill to avenge her…”

“Everything will be all right,” he promises in his deep, rich voice. I’ve always loved his voice, even when we were enemies, and he was trying to kill me, that threatening voice always sent little chills up my spine. They weren’t bad chills either. I really enjoyed the little tremors he always gave me.

“I couldn’t save her… I couldn’t save her…”

“Hush.”

*****

I’m not sure what I’m doing, all I know is the sound of Kurama's cracking voice makes my heart ache. I hold him closer than I’ve ever held anyone before, and I am surprised that it’s not as uncomfortable as I originally thought that it would be. On the contrary, it feels so right to have him in my arms, to have him so close that I can smell the sweet scent of fresh cut roses in his hair.

Kurama continues to mumble incoherent words into my chest. Something about loving his mother, I assume.

Eventually, his crying wears him down and he falls asleep in my arms. In fear that if I move he’ll awake, I fall asleep under him. ‘I love you.’

*****

It was early morning when Hatanaka decided to wake his new step son from his sleep. That is if he had gotten any after learning that his mother had died. Hatanaka Kazuya, a widower once again… He nearly cried all over again.

“Shuichi?” he knocked on the door before entering into an odd scene that he did not like at all. “Shuichi?” he nearly shrieked, rousing the two slumbering demons. The taller red head was snuggled into the crook of the other half naked boy’s neck. The smaller one had his arms around Kurama's waist under the green shirt.

Kurama slowly turned to see his step father standing in the doorway to his room, looking furious. “Huh? Otousan? What are you yelling about?”

“You… who is he?”

“He?”

“The boy whose arms you are sleeping in. I knew you were a faggot when I met you. I told your mother that she should have made you cut that prissy looking hair off, but she believed in you. She thought that you were just shy around all those girls who followed you, but I knew you were a fucking queer.”

“No,” Kurama shook his head, “Hiei’s just a friend of mine, he was helping me calm down last night. It isn’t like that.”

“I told her that even if you were shy, with that many girls fawning over you, you’d have to work hard to not have a girlfriend.”

“No,” Kurama's voice started to crack.

“How can you dishonor your mother’s memory like-?”

“Shut up,” Hiei’s amazingly deep voice cut the human off as he stroked the red hair, trying to calm Kurama down before he started crying again.

“Who the hell are you to tell me to shut up in my own house, you little queer?”

Hiei had had enough, he stood suddenly, deadly eyes on the taller man.

“Not only do you bed a male, you bed a little boy, you perverted pedophile,” he spat.

“Shut up!” Hiei demanded, scaring Hatanaka with his amazingly deep voice before he rummaged through Kurama's drawers, throwing Kurama a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. “Change.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Kazuya demanded as Kurama quickly dressed himself.

“He doesn’t need you yelling at him right now,” Hiei growled a he drew his cloak over his shoulders again. “I don’t want to have to listen to him crying for another hour just because of your stupid suspicions. Let’s go, Kurama.”

Kurama just nodded, following the other boy, wordlessly.

When they were a few blocks away, Kurama managed to find his voice, “Where are we going?”

“I’m dropping you off at Yusuke’s and then I’m going back to the Makai, Mukuro’s been calling for me.”

“Oh…do you have to?”

“Yeah.”

Kurama chewed on his lower lip for a second before asking, “Will you please stay with me?”

“You’ll have Yusuke,” Hiei grunted.

“I don’t want Yusuke.”

“What? Are you bored of him already?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Hn. There’s no point in hiding it,” Hiei nearly snarled, “I saw you together last night.”

“Last night?”

“You were in his arms when I was at your window, and…”

“Hiei,” Kurama smiled at him sweetly, leaning forward so they were at eye level, “I was in your arms all night, and we went further than Yusuke and I did. I don't want Yusuke,” he assured.

Hiei blushed a little before turning down the street, still heading for Yusuke’s apartment.

“Is that why I found this on my windowsill?” Kurama held up the little pebble he had found.

“I don’t know where that came from,” the sudden stiffness of Hiei's shoulders made Kurama think different.

“Really? Because I can’t think of anyone else who could possibly create such a beautiful tear gem.”

“You’re blind, it’s tainted.”

“Is that so?” Kurama draped his arms over Hiei’s shoulders from behind, holding the gem between his fingers in front of Hiei’s beautiful eyes. “You see, I think that it’s perfect. It’s smooth and round just like any tear gem, but this one’s even rarer, it has a deep red sheen that reminds me of your eyes, which I think are beautiful. There’s only one thing wrong with it.”

“Hn, what?”

“I made you cry this.”

“Don’t be so arrogant-” the rest of his sentence was cut off by soft, full lips swallowing his words and groans.

They stood there in public kissing for a minute. When Kurama pulled away, Hiei was bright red, making Kurama giggle. “Are you okay? It was just a kiss.”

Hiei’s eyes suddenly got dark before he turned away, huffing as he stormed off.

“Hiei? Hiei!” Kurama ran after the other boy, “Where are you going?”

“I told you, the Makai.”

“I was hoping that you would stay with me.”

“Hn.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Just a kiss.”

“What?”

“This is all a joke to you, isn’t it? You just like to mess with me, don’t you?”

“What? No, not like that. Hiei, I don’t understand what you’re getting so angry about.”

“It… it doesn’t matter, just get rid of that stone, and forget it… forget everything…”

“I’m not throwing out the stone, it’s mine, and I love it.”

“Why?”

“Because it helped me realize that you love me.”

Hiei’s eyes grew wide, “I never said anything like that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Kurama smiled, stepping closer to the fire demon, cupping a child like cheek, and leaned in closer for another kiss, but this one was much deeper, with a lot more love and care behind it and a lot of tongue in it. When they were both breathless, Kurama rested his lips only an inch from Hiei’s with their foreheads meeting, “I love you, too.”

“Hn,” Hiei’s lips twitched into a small smile.

“Will you stay? ... Please? I've lost Mother already, I don't want to lose the only other person that I love,” his emerald eyes sparkled with beautifully in the morning sunlight.

A nod, and Kurama threw his arms around Hiei’s neck, holding him tightly.

“Thank you.”

“Hn,” Hiei held on to Kurama’s waist, and nuzzled into Kurama's neck.

*****

The End!

And now you know why I stick with AU's, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Sorry, I don't really see Kurama as being a crier, but when it has to do with his mother... I thought he'd be a lot more emotional than usual. I also don't know what actually happens with Hiei's tears, but it made it easier just to have them become tear gems, and left Kurama evidence.

Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.