Thumbs Up

Disclaimer: Yeah, so I don’t own any of this and I'm not making any money off of this. Please don’t sue me, it wasn’t my idea! This is all “WhiteCrab’s” fault. She wanted me to write one, so here it is. Reviews are welcome (good/bad, don’t care, I’ll read whatever I can get).

Chapter 1
(Only Chapter)
So Wrong

“So you’re the bastard that has been stealing my hairstyle!” Vegeta screamed across the flat terrain. Hiei remained still, his arms folded across his chest. “You think you can just spike your hair up and become a badass? Is that it?”

“For your information, I was drawn this way. I had no say in the process.”

“Don’t blame this on the animators! They may have made the rough sketch, but you made the final decision.”

Hiei shrugged. Apparently this guy had never attended an anger management class. “So how are we to settle this? A competition of wits is out of the question as that poses no real challenge to me.”

Vegeta glared at his opponent. He had to agree, but he would never do so aloud. “Brute strength is probably too much for you to handle, as well.” He threw out.

Hiei lowered his eyes and smiled. “I think I can handle it.” His spirit level is far below that of Kuwabara, Hiei thought to himself.

Idiot.

Fool.

Vegeta prepared to powerup as he took his stereotyped Saiyan stance. Hiei removed his sword from its sheath and prepared to strike. However, a sudden gust of wind blew sand into his face and he was forced to take cover. Vegeta began to yell.

“Is he screaming?” Hiei remarked. “Who the hell is he yelling at? What’s that light? Why the hell am I asking these stupid questions out loud? I should just look over the rock!” Hiei peeked over the boulder and saw Vegeta rise into the air; his hair glowing a brilliant gold. “What the fuck? When did he have the time to dye his hair?”

Vegeta grinned sinisterly. He lifted his hands above his head and a dark ball began to grow. Lightening crackled all around him and Hiei stood dumbfounded. Vegeta thrust the ball of raw power toward Hiei who jumped out the way just in time. A huge gaping hole was left where he had just been standing only moments before. “Oh shit…I’m in the wrong fanfic.”

Vegeta laughed and prepared for another strike.

Hiei turned to the author. “What the hell are you thinking? I thought you liked my character!”

Moondjinn shrugged. “Well, you know, this was supposed to turn into a lemon…”

Vegeta immediately stopped laughing. “Wha…what did you just say?” His eyes were wide with fear.

Moondjinn nodded. “WhiteCrab told me I should write one. She wanted a crossover. I figured you two should meet since you’re just about the same stature and have the same hair.”

Slowly Hiei began to back away. “So…uh…how does the story end?” Vegeta was preparing to flee as well; he was standing next to Hiei at this point, prepared to use the little guy as a shield in case the author got too carried away.

“I thought about having some other character come and take care of you guys…I don’t really want to kill either of you. Except you, Vegeta, you pissed me off in the Namek Saga.”

“I’m…sorry?” He took another step back.

Moondjinn shook her head. “No, that just won’t do.” Moondjinn clapped her hands and glanced behind her.

A shadow fell over the two tall-haired men. A forced deep voice bellowed over the terrain, “Beware…for justice lurks in the night preparing to-”

“It’s daytime,” Hiei interrupted.

“Yeah,” Vegeta piped in, “and what’s with that bow?”

“Is that the only thing you see that’s unusual?” Hiei whispered.

“No, but I didn’t want to ask about the other thing,” he whispered back.

“Hey!” a whiny voice broke up their conversation. “You guys are supposed to be frightened of me!” The cloaked figure banged his scythe on the ground. The bull he rode shook its head and bellowed.

Moondjinn grinned and flashed WhiteCrab two thumbs up. “I’d like you to meet…Black Tiger!” Hiei stifled a snort. Vegeta, not usually one to find anything humorous, fell to his knees crying from laughter.

Hiei put his finger to his mouth in thought. “I think I remember Majic telling me about this guy the last time he came over to watch por- *ahem* pornography.” He paused. “Shit, I meant porcupines on the discovery channel.”

“Yeah…nice save,” Vegeta smirked.

“Whatever. He told me this guy named himself after shrimp.”

“I did not!” Black Tiger argued.

Moondjinn sighed. “I think we could do for some new scenery.” She sat down and made a few keystrokes on her laptop.

“Where are we now?” Hiei inquired taking a quick glance around the room. It appeared to be a sleazy motel room. What are those stains on the ceiling, Hiei thought to himself. And why are they on the walls…and the curtains…Suddenly he lifted his shoe. Aww, man!

“Where’s Caroline?” Black Tiger began to fret.

“Don’t worry about it,” Moondjinn assured him.

Suddenly there came a scream. Not a little wussy scream…a bloodcurdling scream. “WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING?!?!?!?!” Vegeta cried in horror.

Moondjinn clapped her hands with glee; she was very pleased with her work. Hiei laughed raucously as Black Tiger eyed Vegeta hungrily. Vegeta was wearing a very sheer (Last Rouge sheer) pink nightie. And what could be complete without the furry pink stilettos?

“Don’t laugh, Hiei,” Moondjinn scolded, “it’s not like you’re wearing anything better.”

“Wha…” Hiei was nude…save for a tiny yellow thong. His hands immediately went to cover his privates. “You are one sick bitch!”

Moondjinn raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Damn right! Now, let’s see a little action!” Black Tiger nodded and began to remove his mask. “No, leave it on…it’s so much more masochistic.” She stretched out in the la-z-boy.

Chains shot out from the bed frame latching on to Hiei’s wrists and ankles forcing him down onto the bed. Vegeta attempted to run, but was pulled back to the wall. Black Tiger rubbed his hands together in delight. He straightened his bow and moved toward Vegeta. Vegeta began to pull desperately at his chains.

“Oooo…I like it when you struggle,” a small voice commented.

“Who in the hell-” Moondjinn glanced behind her la-z-boy. “What the hell are you doing here?” Akito grinned sheepishly. Moondjinn waved her hands in protest. “No, no, no, no, no! You are not going to be in my fan fic!” She lifted Akito by by his collar and dragged him to the bed. “Vegeta, if you kill this little bitch, Black Tiger will take Hiei first.” Vegeta quickly agreed and disposed of Akito. Moondjinn settled back in her chair. Thank God for fan fiction, otherwise there would be no way to get rid of unwanted characters.

“That’s not fair!” Hiei exclaimed. “I could have taken care of him!”

Moondjinn shrugged. “Yeah, but if Vegeta went first, then I wouldn’t be able to look at him in his pretty pink nightie.” Vegeta shuddered. “No worries, Hiei, Shrimp Man will be gentle.”

“Stop calling me that…”

“Just get on with it.”

Black Tiger took his scythe and gently cut the straps of Hiei’s thong. Hiei gasped and writhed under the gloved hands of his captor. Much to his own horror, Hiei lengthened quickly. Black Tiger smiled behind his mask he thumbed the inside of Hiei’s thigh. Black Tiger sighed; his pants were growing tighter with each passing moment. With a practiced hand, Black Tiger quickly undid his pants and released his desire. Unfortunately, because of the way Hiei was tied down, Black Tiger didn’t have to force his legs apart. Oh well, he thought, at least I get to be the first to savor Hiei’s body. Black Tiger inched his way up the bed, his hands rubbing Hiei’s legs. He placed his mouth over Hiei’s tip, but did not touch it. His hot breath aroused them both, whether or not Hiei willed it.

“Think of something non-sexual,” Hiei whispered. Closing his eyes, he envisioned Yukina’s bare body lying next to his.

“My God!” Black Tiger exclaimed. “I didn’t think you could get any bigger! Just what are you thinking about?”

“Huh?!” Hiei attempted to lift his head to see what was happening but ended up arching his back as Black Tiger finally enveloped his shaft with his tongue. Hiei clamped his mouth shut, not wanting to call out. He could hear Vegeta snickering to the right of him.

“Just wait your turn,” Moondjinn assured him.

Hiei had to smile. Unfortunately for Hiei, this gave Black Tiger the opportunity to catch him off-guard and to deep throat his organ completely. Hiei gripped the sides of the mattress to hold him down. He felt like he was going to explode. Black Tiger’s tongue continued to massage and tease, bringing Hiei ever closer to climax. Black Tiger cupped the rest of Hiei’s manhood and squeezed gently. Hiei’s eyes grew wide and his mouth opened and shut as his breaths came in short gasps. Pleased with the result, Black Tiger slowly allowed Hiei to withdraw from his mouth.

He pulled himself higher onto the bed and placed his own member close to Hiei’s. Black Tiger leaned down over Hiei. He gently stroked his cheek with his glove. Hiei tried to pull away from Black Tiger, but his chains kept him in check. Black Tiger leaned closer, his hand pulling up the edge of the mask. His lips pressed against Hiei’s, his tongue pushing past the barrier of teeth. Suddenly, Hiei felt the edge of Black Tiger’s head and he jerked violently when Black Tiger pushed inside him. Moondjinn got up out of her chair and placed something on the bed. Black Tiger glanced at her and then at the bed. He nodded in response. He quickly opened up the jar an applied to lotion to his hardening cock. He grasped Hiei’s hips and found himself delving deeper inside with every thrust. Hiei clung to his chains and instinctively raised his hips to meet Black Tiger’s surges.

Hiei could no longer contain himself and his seed spilled onto Black Tiger. Black Tiger felt Hiei clench and he finally allowed himself to climax. Immediately following, the shackles holding Hiei fell from his wrists. Hiei continued to shudder from the aftershocks and slowly curled into a small ball on the bed. Moondjinn’s look of amusement transformed into one of pity as Hiei began to cry.

“Pussy,” Vegeta muttered under his breath. Moondjinn frowned and motioned to Black Tiger. Black Tiger shed his soiled shirt and jacket and approached the wall-shackled Saiyan. At this point, Vegeta was no longer worried. If all they were going to do was give him a little ass-ramming, well he had already done that before.

Moondjinn noticed Vegeta’s cool composure and decided to take this to the next level. She knew that this is what WhiteCrab would want. She reached around behind her la-z-boy and pulled out a small cage with a blanket covering whatever was inside.

“What’s that?” Vegeta asked, a slight hint of fear in his voice.

“I’ve been wanting to add a bit of new blood to the story to spice things up a bit, and I think this might be the best time to do so.” Moondjinn lifted the cloth. Vegeta’s eyes grew wide and Black Tiger continued to grin behind his mask. “This is Hamtaro. Since I’m such a huge fan of South Park, I figured this could be a bit of a parody of the Lemmiwinks episode!”

“Whoa! Wait a second…I saw that episode and I don’t know if I’m willing to participate in that kind of activity.”

Black Tiger took the cage from Moondjinn. “I don’t think you have much of a choice here, Vegeta.” Moondjinn crossed her arms over her chest. “You may find you like it.”

Moondjinn made a small hand gesture and the chains began to move. Eventually, Vegeta found his backside exposed to the sadistic author and sexually confused super-rapist. Vegeta attempted to turn around to face his aggressor, but his shackles prevented him from making any movements. However, he could still hear them.

“No, don’t use the tube. It’ll be funny if you do it manually. ”

“What about the lotion?” He heard Black Tiger inquire.

“This is going to be so much fun!” a small voice chipped in.

“Shut up, Hamtaro,” Moondjinn hushed him angrily.

“The fucking thing talks?!” Vegeta cried out.

Hiei, who had finally recovered, began to laugh. “I think I got off easy.”

“You sure did,” Black Tiger responded, “a lot faster than I thought you would!”

“Uh…I…didn’t mean it like…” Hiei coughed and tried to hide his flushing face.

Vegeta laughed but abruptly stopped when he felt something large and furry being shoved inside his rectum.

“I’m only half-way in!” the small voice cried.

Moondjinn laughed as the hamster’s two back legs kicked wildly. “How about giving him a little help, Black Tiger?”

Black Tiger, who had grown hard again by that point, used his pork-sword to give the large rat a push. Vegeta cried out, but it was indistinguishable whether it was from pain or pleasure. Black Tiger continued with his thrusting motions. He glanced back at Moondjinn who was now sitting with Hiei on the bed. “It tickles!” Black Tiger exclaimed gleefully. Moondjinn and Hiei burst into laughter. They both shot WhiteCrab two thumbs up.


To make a long story short (too late) Vegeta and Black Tiger both climaxed and Hamtaro drowned in Black Tiger’s salty goodness. Hope you enjoyed my exceedingly awful fan fiction…I certainly scarred myself by writing it!

And this is just for anyone who wanted to know where the characters are from:
Vegeta - Dragonball Z
Hiei - Yu Yu Hakusho
Akito (Bitch) - Fruits Basket
Hamtaro - Hamtaro
Black Tiger - Sorcerous Stabber Orphen