Brides

Well somone said they'd beta this for me, but it's been two months and I've yet to receive any edited chapters. I'm sure they're quite busy an all, but two month is a long time so, I'm going to give up on betas for now. So forgive any grammar or spelling errors. B is a Dittz, Dislexic, Diabetic, Dirty Blond. Be happy you understand half of what I write.
Anyway Enjoy, as always comments are welcomed both good and bad. Just tell me why do don't like something so I can learn from it, okay?
ja ne
b-chan AKA Saiyanb

The old red oni studied her for a few moments then smiled ever so softly. "Next, Hiei," said the old Oni shocking Yusuke out of her high on life state.

"Hiei…" said Yusuke glancing over at the little ex-demon.

"Hn," said Hiei with no emotions stepping toward the room and passing Yusuke.

"Hiei!" called Yusuke as she got to the door. Hiei turned and looked at her over her shoulder.

Yusuke didn’t want her to go in there, she may have nothing she regretted but Hiei and Kurama… they’d both lived much longer and in harasser conditions. She’d had Keiko and her mother, but Kurama and Hiei… who had been there for them? Her mouth opened to say something but for the longest time no words would come to her. Finally she swallowed hard, "good luck."

Hiei just stared back at her a few seconds then nodded and entered the room, the door slid shut behind her.

Hiei stood still in the dark room the sound of her soft even breaths seemed unnaturally loud… this place it feel lonely… cold…

As the thought of cold seeped into her the atmosphere warped to a blinding white. Hiei couldn’t help but shield her eyes from the bright glow, what was this? What was she seeing? Slowly her eyes adjusted enough for her to see more detail. It was glare blinding her, the glare of a bright sun bouncing off thousands of snow and ice structures in a holy fashion as if the city of ice was creating its own light. That’s what it was a city of ice, pure and clean, gleaming like a jewel, a second sun hanging in the sky.

"The Glacier…" said Hiei looking around. She was on the glacier, but how? The reflected sun bouncing off the ice made her skin burn and she felt every bit the meaning of her name. Shadow… I am a shadow born in this pure light, I feel so dark, so dirty, like a black stain among all this white, all this purity… Why am I here?

She heard the sounds of ancient ones speaking their granite voices froze the blood in her veins. One other voice pleaded desperatel, begging.

"My son! Please give me my son!"

Hiei stood straight not sure if she should turn and look at what she knew was happening behind her, or if by not looking she could escape the terrible wound in her heart that had never truly stopped bleeding.

"Boy… impure… sinner child… banned…"

Such words reached her ears and bounced around in her head threatening to take her to her knee with their weight.

She could hear the scuffle of steps and the bark of the old women’s voices as they bid the young ice maiden, his mother’s most trusted and loved friend, to banish the evil Hina had brought on them all.

"No pity… no mercy…"

She turned and looked at the groups, all as she remembered, how could she ever forget a second of it, it was burned into her memory. The maiden’s soft words…
"Please, come back alive. And the first thing I want you to do is kill me. That is the only way of compensating Hina’s death."

Those words had giving him a reason to live; kill the koorimes. Then there was the both terrifying and wonderful sensation of being weightless after loosing all physical contact and the madding scream of the wind whipping past his face.

Flying shadow… only I didn’t fly from his place of light… I fell. Hiei locked her eyes on the form of her defeated mother who would also fall from the light that day, not from the island, but from life itself for committing such a crime. At least they had been merciful to her… at least her end had been clean. She’d been a gentlewoman, she hadn’t desired the fate they’d handed her, because she’d dared to have a heart made of more then ice as theirs were she had lived more richly in her young existence then they ever would. But…

The scene changed to a snow covered forest, tinny white flakes of snow drifting lazily to the ground, gathering on the tree branches and the small whimpering bundle that lay across the cold ground wrapped in may layers of wards and helpless to free itself. She hadn’t disserved a clean end; the koorimes had made that clear when they abandoned her instead of a quick merciful blow. But throwing her away, they’d made her that very monster they so feared, for at so tender an age she had known fear, had tasted their hatred, and had been handed a mission: kill all the koorimes… but she’d been no more then an infant and if fate had been kinder she would have simply gone to sleep in the cold snow and never of opened her eyes again, but fate was not kind.

"Oi! Come take a look at this!" said a bulky large tusked youki decked out in various animal furs. He gave the appearance of a walrus with his flabby build and leathery hid, one of his yellow tainted tusks was broken at the middle and many scars criss-crossed his body.

"What is it?" asked a female youki, she was covered in her own natural coat of soft white fur, several brown strips trailing down her back and bushy tail.

"Look," said the male youki pointing at the warded bundle that was still struggling and whimpering.

"Oh?" said the furry female kneeling down. "Looks like someone lost their cub," she said poking at the baby.

"You don’t just wrap your kid up in wards and lose them," said the walrus youki.

"Hn," snorted the female reaching down to begin tearing the wards off.

"Hey you sure that’s a good idea?" asked the Walrus.

"It’s a cub," said the female. "What’s it going to do? Cry me to…." her voice trailed off as several small black objected tumbled out of the wrappings and on to the white snow to gleam brightly in the sun.

Standing to the side watching Hiei winced as the two picked up the black gems and looked at them in wonder. How she wished she’d known better then to cry back then, than maybe they’d have left her to the elements.

"Tear gems. Black tear gems?" said the female.

"I’ve never seen them in black before," said the walrus youki fingering one perfectly round gem.

"Nor have I," said the female. "They’re usually in shades of pale pastel, never so solid a color…" She glanced back at the young Hiei who was simply regarding them with curiosity having never seen anything like them in the few short hours he’d been alive. The female youkai reached over and picked up the baby to hold it at arms length.

"It’s warm," she whispered. She glanced down its body her eyes widening. "And male…" she said in disbelief. "It’s a koorime mongrel, no wonder it out here," she said looking up at the sky were a large structure could just be made out floating away. She put the baby back down and stood up brushing herself off. "Let’s go."

"What? You’re just going to leave it here?" asked the walrus youkai.

"Yes," snapped the furry female. "Why would I want a brat, let alone a koorime half bred?"

The male youkai smiled wickedly and tossed the few black gems in his hand. "This is why."

The female paused looking down at the black gem she held. "You’re nuts, raising a kid is hard work. We don’t have time for such non-sense."

"Time is money," said the walrus youkai moving over to the young Hiei. "And this little thing it black gold," he said lifting the chibi Hiei up in a rather clumsy inexperience manner, making Hiei squirm in his grip. He grinned widely as he spotted a blue tear gem strung on a tong around the boy’s neck and greedily reached for it. Sensing the youkai’s motives to steal the his one keepsake, the baby Hiei bit down deep into the man’s arm with his sharp fangs. The walrus howled while the female youkai laughed.

"You son of a bitch!" snarled the walrus youkai roughly grabbing Hiei and yanking him off his arm, tearing two long trenched in his skin were Hiei’s sharp fangs had dug in. He gave the little baby a hard slap on the face. Hiei trembled at the harsh blow, small animal like whimpers working their way free from his throat as fresh tears rimmed the child’s eyes and spilled over in several more black gems.

"You’re a natural papa," winked the female youkai in amusement.

The walrus youkai glared at her and then looked down at the new gems, grinning widely he scooped them up and pocketed them. "We’ll take it back to the boss and others, I’m sure they’ll watch the brat for a share of the loot."

"Hn," snorted the female. "They’re more likely to spend the hold time beating on it for tear gems. You might find it hard just keeping the kid alive with several dozen fortune hungry youkais around. I don’t think he’ll make it over a week."

"Well then we make sure we get our money’s worth in that week," said the male youkai shoving Hiei into her arms where the little half koorime instinctually buried into her fur for warmth and comfort from the harsh treatment.

The female made another disgusted noise. "I want a larger share if I’m going to be doing all the work," she muttered following after the Walrus youkai.

Hiei hung her head fisting her hands into her own wild hair. The first few years of her life were not pleasant. Hell, most of her life was down right miserable, but the first few… had been a nightmare and at the time she hadn’t know it.

Hiei bit her teeth together as softly and then with growing volume screams could be heard and the sing of a whip through the air. Gradually the screams turned to whimpers, then the whimpers turned to grunts and pants, and eventually there was only the whip and an occasional amused purr. A bitter smile touched her lips. "I’m such a sick creature."

Indeed for the images around her showed a young Hiei suspended from the ceiling by chains shackled to his wrists. The loose clothes the figure wore were slashed to shreds, doing little to cover the bleeding and bruised hid of the Koorime half-breed.

To the side panted an enraged youkai, some kind of fat hairy creature, obviously low class and weak. In the creatures massive hand he held a black whip. But what really threw the picture off was the fact that instead of looking in pain and beaten the young boy was smiling and looking at the youkai with amused red eyes, almost as if the youkai had been trying to tickle him instead of beating him within an inch of life.

"Is that all you’ve got?" asked the boy. "Kigo hits a lot harder then that and still I never weep for him."

"You little brat," hissed the youkai. "If you don’t start wising up and producing gems, I’m not going to leave an inch of you untouched!"

"Hn," snorted the boy. "Ideal threats. You can beat me, but you don’t have permission to kill me yet," he grinned showing some fang. "Go ahead, why have you stop? There’s still some space on my back that doesn’t burn, not that it matters, in a week my hid will look just as pale and flawless as before, then you can go back to mark it up again."

"You little-!" growled the youkai lifting his hand up to deliver another hard lash, but his hand never completed the move as someone caught and held it. "What the fuck-!" cursed the youkai turning around with a snarl and paling as he saw who was there. "B-boss…."

The tall dark youkai let go of the youkai’s hand. "Forget it, you won’t get tears from this one any more, not by any means of torture," the said leader moving over to grip Hiei’s chin. "He gotten to the point that he’s starting to enjoy this."

The tall youkai leader gripped Hiei’s neck, wrapping his hand all the way around the boy’s slender throat. "Sa boy… you’ve become most unprofitable now that you’ve turned into a masochist. Should I get ride of you then?" he asked raising an eyebrow and tightening his grip as he said it, Hiei’s small mouth opened as his air passage was squeezed. "You’ve got potently so I’ll give you a choice, you can die now or you can work for me and learn the assassin trade. What will it be boy?" he asked tightening his grip even more.

The young Hiei choked for air, struggling briefly against both the chains and hold on his throat. After several seconds of struggling the boy went slack in a defeated manner. "I don’t want to die…" he whispered softly, head bowed.

"Oh?" said Kigo, a.k.a. the group’s leader, loosening his hold to allow the boy some air. "I should think you’d welcome death Forbidden Child," he said in a mocking tone.

Hiei’s young ruby eyes glared at him. "I do, but I do not want to die yet," said the boy eyebrows pulled down in hard lines.

"You want to die, but not yet?" said Kigo letting go of Hiei’s throat all together. "Why? What could you possible have to live for?"

"Kill all the Koorimes," said Hiei in a deadly serious voice.

Kigo stared at the boy a moment then threw back his head and laughed. "Oi you," he said addressing the youkai that had been beating on Hiei. "Come over here and untie this guy, he cracks me up." The youkai did as he was bid and Kigo turned back to Hiei still laughing lightly. "Very well then Forbidden Child if you want to kill them so badly then I trust you’ll be an eager student."

The chains dropped, as did Hiei who barely managed to land on his feet, than dropped to his knees weakly, he rubbed at his arms that had gone completely numb from the long hang.

"Go lick your wounds dog," smirked Kigo giving the young Hiei a nudge in the side with his boot. "Then I’ll teach you to rip a man’s, or maiden’s, throat out with your teeth," he said in an amused tone.

Hiei only bow slightly to the man not taking his burning ruby gaze off him, then he got up, walked out of the room and into the cold night.

A cheery atmosphere greeted the young Hiei as the gang members had all gotten together to drink, brag, and tell stories. Not that Hiei had ever taken part in any of the group’s parties. Getting drunk meant nothing but trouble, he’d had nothing to brag about even if he’d wanted to, stories on the other hand were at times fun to listen to, so long as they weren’t full of such disgusting things like sex. The young Hiei glanced as a female and male that were shamelessly fondling each other, a look of disgust twisted his young face.

As a Forbidden Child I am still very much a Koorime, thought Hiei silently to herself watching her young self weave through the crowd evading the grabbing hands of drunks and perverts alike looking for a good time or something warm to press up against in the cold night. Koorimes had built in instincts, one of the things that had help Hiei survive through her childhood, if it could be called that. They also had a build in impulse to hate certain things, like men, non-koorimes, heat, heterosexuals… The sight of a male and female together had made the young Hiei feel physically ill, witnessing their dirty touching that they’d taken so much pleasure in.

"Hypocrite…" Hiei accused herself. "You think one thing but do another." She’d thought such touching was disgusting, in a small way she still did. The very act of sex seemed so dirty to a koorime, though homosexuality was excepted among her kind, it was still dirty in a way. The koorimes believed that purity of the body meant purity of the soul. A pure koorime never even thought about sex or any other sinful thing. Few koorimes were even fighters, to stain themselves with blood was a sin to them to, perhaps that was why they’d banned her instead of killing her. They hadn’t wanted to dirty themselves with her filthy blood.

She had to be the dirtiest koorime alive; although, she was female at the moment she would eventually regain her male form, she had a fire ki; wicket destructive black flames that consumed all and left nothing but ashes, she killed; had come out of combat covered in blood and gore completely stained red, and she participated and yes enjoy having sex. She was covered in sin, saturated by them, dyed so red with blood and grim her soul was now black, and the worst part was she enjoyed the sinful acts. She enjoyed combat, maybe not senseless massacres, but still death was a part of combat and so when she enjoyed fighting she enjoyed killing. Her very existence was a sin, a sin that had destroyed her mother, brought shame to her family, her sister; she shamed them by living. And sex… the others were right she was always reluctant and shy to share her body with them, because it too was a sin. She’d managed to keep that part of herself pure all her youth, evading the grabbing hands of others, sexual advances, and even avoiding or ignoring flirting all together. But when Kurama hadn’t taken no for an answer that night and neither had Yusuke, she’d given in and allowed them to dirty the last pure part of her. Funny here she was to purify herself at some holy shrine. What a laugh, there was no way to wash her soul it was black to begin with. No amount of cleansing would ever make it clean, she’d been born dirty and would die dirty, that was a fact.

Hiei sighed it was hard sometimes hating every aspect of yourself, why did she have to think like a koorime when she was so not like them? But, she excepted the truth as she always had, there was no point lying to herself she couldn’t change what she was, even with a human body she was still the Forbidden Child. Maybe someday she could compensate for it all, though she doubted it. So many sins…. Was this why she liked pain then? Pain was a form of punishment and a creature like she live only to receive punishment, to try and make amends for daring to exist in the first place. For daring to survive again and again when she should have allowed herself to be destroyed, to rid the world of such sinful trash.

Hiei didn’t even notice that the scene had changed till soft gentle laughter chimed in the air. She lifted her head and looked around. Once again she was in a forest, old ancient trees bare with the season as small snowflakes drifted around in an enchanting fashion.

She hear the laugh again and turned around to see a small girl playing with a white fox, a few long eared rabbits, and half a dozen colorful small birds hoping and chattering about her shoulders.

The girl slipped and fell on her butt, pausing a moment in surprise. The fox jumped up on her stomach and licked her cheek playfully and soon the girl was laughing again. The very definition of pure and innocent…

"Yukina," said Hiei softly moving towards the small figure as she began to rough the white foxes fur scratching it belly for it. She stopped before the girl, looking at her had always brought her a sense of peace and even now she could forget it all and just be content to watch her innocent ways and manners. This was another memory she realized, Yukina looked so very young in her short knee length kimono.

Snow from a nearby tree fell from its branches and Yukina looked up.

"Is someone there?" she called blinking large red eyes in the direction of the fallen snow.

There was no reply and after a long pause Yukina just shrugged it off and went back to playing with her furry and feathered friends.

Hiei frowned slightly still looking around. What a minute… if this is one of my memories… where am I?! She turned in a circle searching the treetops for a black form among all the white. Gee you’d think finding a black spot in all this would be easy thought Hiei not sure if she should be pleased with her own abilities or annoyed.

Finally she spotted her young-self perched in the branches of the tree that had dumped a load of snow on the ground.

"Okay so maybe I still needed a little work back then," said Hiei thinking about how she should have been dead by now for the mistake. Of course, Yukina wasn’t exactly a viscous youkai out for his blood.

The young Hiei was leaning again the tree’s thick trunk glancing carefully at the small ice maiden frolicking around in the snow.

Hiei eyes widened realizing just what memory this was. This was the first time she’d seen Yukina after being banned from the Glacier.

The little boy up in the branches seemed, eager, nervous, and confused all at once. Eager for a change to kill his first koorime, nervous because it was a koorime, and confused because she was acting so strange; petting those furry animals and laughing? Yes she was laugh, but why? She was all-alone; no one was saying anything funny? What was she doing to laugh so lively and happily? He didn’t understand and his ignorance had caused the young Hiei to pause and study his intended victim. Much to the now present Hiei’s relief, if she’d killed her sister back then she never would have forgiven herself.

Hiei watched as the young vision of herself slowly relaxed watching her play, how his grip relaxed around the hilt of his katana that had been tense and ready to draw in a flash but a few moments ago. How his body-posture went from as erect and tight as steel to almost lazy and slack, leaning on the tree for support as he watched. Even his face relaxed visibly, there were no hard lines or dark shadows, Hiei looked every bit the young boy he was at that moment as he watched the little ice maiden play.

Did I ever play back then? No, she didn’t think so. All she’d ever done was train and do jobs for Kigo: stealing, assassinating targets, serving as a messenger boy, practicing exercises and sword technique from sun up to sun down. She hadn’t known the meaning of the word ‘play’ back them, she’d probably thought it meant toying with your opponent, though Hiei had never liked long battles, especially with weak opponents. Better to make it fast and quick, merciful.

"Maybe I still don’t know what playing means," muttered Hiei softly to her self. Yusuke liked to rough house with the kids, and Kurama liked to interact with them in various way, but she was more content to watch them play then join it. "Or maybe I just don’t know how to," muttered Hiei looking back up at the image of her young self.

The young boy’s eyes widened as the little fox playfully tugged on a tong around the girl’s neck, revealing a blue tear gem that had been tucked into the folds of her kimono. Still in shock the boy’s hand wondered up to grip a matching gem hidden safely under his shirt.

"Kitsune-san," said the girl carefully removing the tong from the fox’s grip. "Please don’t play with that. It’s very special to me," she said looking very sad for a moment.

The fox tilted its head to the side in a curious manner.

Yukina smiled and held the gem between her clasped palms. "My mother gave this to me the day I was born," she smiled for a brief second. "She shed two tears that day and give one to me and the other to my brother." She opened her hands and looked down at the gem her face suddenly sad again. "But now she’s gone and I don’t know where my brother is," she closed her small hands over the gem again. "So you can see why this is so important to me, ne kitsune-san?" she said petting the fox’s fur. "I feel like they’re with me when I look at it."

A cold breeze blew by and Yukina glanced up at the sky, it was starting to get late.

"Gomen, Kitsune-san," said Yukina. "I have to go now, but I’ll come back tomorrow."

The fox leaned up to lick her cheek and nuzzle her throat.

Yukina stroked its soft fur a few more times then stood up bidding all her friends good bye before heading back toward her own kind.

Up in the tree Hiei came out of hiding to watch her go. ‘Onee-san’ mouthed the boy in shock. So great was his shock at the discovery that the blade slipped from his grip to fall and sink into the snow below the tree, he just stared numbly forward in the direction the girl had vanished.

"Yes I started to think differently after that," said Hiei softly. Watching as different images flashed around of Yukina playing in the snow with all her woodland friends. "I watched her… I watched the full nine days she came out to play. She was so innocent, so sweet, I didn’t understand how she could be so different from what I thought Koorimes were like: cold and emotionless. Perhaps it’s her mixed blood and she did not inherit the same instincts I did… to hate warmth, to hate differences, to hate thing as I did.

The more I thought about it the more my hate for the koorimes numbed. I was the fifthly one, they the pure, why should I hate them for preserving that purity, can I honesty say that if things had been differently I wouldn’t have done the same as they? They were afraid of me and maybe they had a right to be," Hiei lifted her now pale arm as if looking for the dragon mark that had graced it before her transformation.

"Powerful I was back then and more have I become (well before the human thing happened). I think like they do, cold, emotionless, if they’d raised me as one of them, I can’t say I won’t have been that monster they proclaimed me. Maybe I would have destroyed them if I’d stayed on the Glacier just because I couldn’t stand being so different, couldn’t stand my own self hatred for what I am. If not by their hatred then by my own I never would have fit in there," she let her arm drop back to her side and looked back up at the images that had pulled together into one.

"Yukina!" shouted an ice maiden, young but much odder then Yukina had been. She ran over and embraced the little ice maiden. "Yukina, oh god you scared me," said the maiden brushing some of Yukina’s aqua colored hair out of her face. "Don’t come here any more Yukina, it’s dangerous."

"Dangerous?" said the little Yukina.

"Yes," nodded the girl standing up and taking her hand. "It’s dangerous down here, we’re all safe if we stay together on the Glacier. There are a lot of bad youkais out there that will hurt you if they find you Yukina. Come home with me, back to the Glacier," said the girl pulling on her arm.

Yukina obediently fell into step with her. "But what about my friends?" she asked looking over her shoulder at the group of animals.

"I know you like the forest animals Yukina, but you don’t belong down here you belong with us were it’s safe," said the girl pulling her along. Yukina looked back mournfully as the taller maiden pulled her along.

Hiei’s young self had mourned her leaving as well. The few days he’d spent watching her had changed everything, he wanted to preserve that pure innocents he’d seen in her. He could almost justify his existence if she remained pure. She could be pure for him and he her darkness, in a perverted way it made him happy to think that; yin and yang. That they weren’t two but one and together they created a balance, it was a fantasy he allowed himself back then.

Hiei watched the young version of herself sit down on the tree branch he was perched in, then pull out the pale blue gem from under his shirt to hold it before his face and simply stare at it.

The scenes of snowy white slowly darkened to pitch black as she stood alone thinking of her kin. Her desire to preserve the idea of innocents, that was Yukina had lead her to do some rash, possible foolish, things. The Jagan she’d had it implanted to find her again, so she might silently protect that vision of pure innocents. There were other reasons for the jagan, but her desire to find the Glacier and Yukina again had been the push that had made her seek Shigure.

Hiei sighed reaching up a hand to feel the third eye, even though she was technically human now the eye had remained, it had not been born a part of her so it hadn’t been affected by the spell. Though with no developed power it served as no more then a well… third eye.

New images began to flash around, images of carnage and blood, of murder and destruction she’d caused. She watched as her powers had grown her skill sharpened by years of endless bloodshed. She did not regret having killed them, those that had shown themselves honorable and kind Hiei had turned her blade away from, even if it had been a job. Monsters should fight against other monsters and let everyone else live a content life, that was what Hiei believed. "Monsters like myself…"

The ex-demoness sat down and rested her chin on her knees, ruby eyes staring at the images of her life as they flickered around her. Yes she was a monster, she through embracing her legs and bowing her head. She knew that, when was this damn room going to stop showing it to her, she was not denying what she was so why was it still showing this her all this, she’d had enough. Hiei buried her face into her knees, "I don’t want to watch this any more…"

Yusuke stopped her pacing. "I can’t take this! What’s going on in there, why hasn’t she come out yet?!" she demanded, Hiei had been in there for hours and they hadn’t hear a peep from inside the room. According to Kurama she’d only been in the fifteen minutes, was Hiei that much older then her?!

To the side Baba sighed. "She can’t come out till she excepts the truth. Give her time."

"I have given her time! Too much time, now I’m really worried about her!" shouted Yusuke. To her side Kurama frowned also worried.

"I know how you feel Yusuke," said the red head. "Hiei’s life isn’t something she’d very proud of, she’s probably got many unresolved issues she just doesn’t want to face. She’s strong, Hiei’s always excepted and deals with the consequences of her actions."

"I know that and that’s why I’m worried!" said Yusuke. "Hiei always has except things as they are, she should of resolve any problems she may have by now, why is it taking so long? If she excepts what she’s done why isn’t that room letting her out?!"

Kurama paused and looked at the room with brows drawn down. "I’m not sure…" Now that Yusuke mentioned it Hiei should have been out of there a long time ago, Hiei was in truth younger then Yusuke. Just what was going on in that room? What was Hiei not excepting?

"Damn it I can’t take it any more!" shouted Yusuke marching over to the door.
"Yusuke!" shouted Magami reaching forward to snag her arm. "You shouldn’t interfere!"

Yusuke’s ki flared around her and shoved the shocked Magami away. Magami was going to raise her own power and subdue Yusuke when she looked at the completely serious look on the girl’s face.

"Don’t get in my way," said Yusuke looking at her with hard chocolate brown eyes. Without another word she turned and opened the door to step inside.
"Yusuke…" said Kurama watching the raven-haired teen disappear.

When Yusuke entered she got the impression of being in a dark room watching an old movie projector; some of the images were shaky and blurred. Yusuke was shocked as she realized that the pictures weren’t unclear, but how their viewer had actually seen them. These images were from Hiei’s eye view as the Koorime moved at incredible speeds, apparently moving like that made everything as blurry as the after image Hiei left behind. She let that interesting discovery slide to glance down at the figure sitting down on the floor, knees drawn up, watching numbly as the images changed.

"Hiei?" said Yusuke moving toward the ex-demoness. The only way to describe Hiei at the moment was depressed, the koorime look down right miserable sitting there watching her life unfold before her. "You all right?" asked Yusuke kneeling down next to her.

"Hn," said Hiei softly. Yusuke couldn’t tell if that was a yes or a no. She glanced up at the scenes again, showing short random images some of a much younger version o Hiei, others more current, some not displaying Hiei at all but people she did and did not know. Some were almost nightmarish images of blood, gore, pain, and sorrow; others were more relaxing, peaceful, and warm displaying Hiei with friends and family. It was all such a confusing mix of images, contrasting with each other in an unbalancing way. Is this the kind of stuff Hiei thinks about all the time thought Yusuke, briefly wondering if she should be concerned about Hiei’s sanity. After all, you don’t think about how much you love your sister one second, then about ripping a man’s guts open the next, and then back to your sister again without so much as a blinking an eyes, which seemed to be what Hiei was doing right now.

"Hiei," Yusuke called again putting a hand on her shoulder. "Have you still got a lot of things to-" he paused looking up at the images one of a smiling Yukina another of a youkai who’d just got his head sliced off and winced, "watch?"

Hiei shook her head. "I’ve gone though it all, it just keeps showing them over and over again." She gestured at one image, which just so happened to be of her and Hiei’s first meeting and fight. "I’ve seen that one three times now," she said in a depressed voice.

"What?" said Yusuke in shock. So she’s just sitting here watching this over and over again?! No wonder she looked so depressed all those images of carnage… of course there were also a fair number of pleasant ones, the whole thing was confusing her, just what was this damn room trying to tell Hiei any way?! "Hiei," said Yusuke again moving closer still to the ex-demon. "The old hag says you’re refusing to except something and that’s why you’re stuck in here like this."

Hiei glanced at her, not even bothering to raise her head as she did so. "But I am excepting this. I know I’ve killed people, I know I don’t belong with the Koorime, I know I’ve done many terrible things. I’ve known all of this before I even stepped into this room; I’ve never denied any of it. I don’t know what it wants from me," she muttered into her knees.

Yusuke frowned, yah just as she’d thought Hiei wasn’t the type to lie to herself about her dark deeds, so what was the problem? She glanced up at the images again as if looking for a clue.

Kurama bandaging Hiei’s arm, slicing a demon into a million pieces, herself playfully roughing the pissed demon’s wild hair, Hiei surrounded in black fire, Kuwabara and Hiei snarling in each other’s faces, Summoning the Kokuryuha…

Good image, bad image, good image, bad image, good image… then it hit Yusuke.
"Hiei you baka!" said Yusuke spinning on her knees and grabbing the front of Hiei’s shirt to give the little ex-demon a good shake.

"Hn?" said Hiei in a bewildered tone as her head snapped back and forth.
"Do you really think you’re like that?! Do you really think all you are is a killer, a thief, something unclean or dirty? You do don’t you?!"

"What are you talking about? Of course I’m all that," snapped Hiei grabbing Yusuke’s wrists to make her stop shaking her. "Can’t you see that, just look," she said waving her hand around her. "What do you see Yusuke? You see blood, you see violence, you see me committing crimes, that’s me, what I’ve done with my life!"

"Baka!" roared Yusuke down at the wide-eyed koorime. Yusuke grabbed Hiei, wrapping one arm around the ex-demon’s shoulders, the other going up to grip a firm hold of Hiei’s chin. "You look!" she said forcing Hiei’s face up. "What do you see?"

"Death," said Hiei.

"What do you see?!"

"Sin!" growled Hiei not understanding what Yusuke was getting at.

"What do you see?!!" shouted Yusuke down at her making Hiei wince.

Hiei decided that Yusuke didn’t want to hear anything else along those lines so she sighed deeply and looked at the images again, deciding to try a different approach.

"I see you, I see people I’ve killed, I see myself, I see Kurama, I see Yukina-"

"And what are we doing?" said Yusuke cutting her off.

Hiei twisted her head to frown at her, but Yusuke twisted it back to look at the images. "What are we doing Hiei?"

Confused Hiei looked again. "We’re fighting on missions, we’re at those dumb picnics, we’re all watching a movie, taking care of the kids, we-* pause* you know what were doing in that scene," said Hiei pointing at image of Koenma, Kurama, Yusuke, and herself.

Yusuke couldn’t help a stupid grin from crossing her face as she watched the image. "And what are you doing Hiei?" she asked looking down at the trapped ex-demon.
"You’re really are a pervert Yusuke, you want me to describe in detail what I’m doing in this picture? Fine I’m-"

"Wait!" shouted Yusuke. They’d gotten off the subject here, although it would be great hearing Hiei describe ‘that’, she thought eyeing the scene. Yusuke got a disappointed look on her face as the image switched to another, she gave herself a little shake and forced herself to make Hiei understand what she was getting at. "Not that scene, what are you doing?"

Hiei stared a long time trying to figure out what Yusuke wanted her to say.

Yusuke sighed leaning down to talk softly in Hiei’s ear. "I’ll tell you what I see, Hiei. I see a noble soul, who protects his family, a loyal friend, someone that puts the needs of others before their own. I see a caring mother, a wonderful partner, and passionate lover. This is what I see Hiei."

A dumb founded look crossed Hiei’s face. "I’m not-" started to protest Hiei.
"You are," said Yusuke firm. "Hiei you haven’t been denying any crimes you’ve committed, far from it, you’ve been denying that you have many good qualities. You’re not as evil as you think you are."

"Yes I am I’m-"

"Say it Hiei," said Yusuke.

"Say what?! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’ve-"

"Say it Hiei, say you’re not evil."

"This is stupid, I’m a-"

"I’ll bet this will all end if you admit it Hiei. Just say it, what harm can it do?"

A fine tremor raked Hiei’s body and Yusuke pulled her against her, brushing her fingers through the soft hair and down her back.

"But it goes again everything I’ve-"

"Shhh, there are no buts Hiei. Just try and think that not everything you do is wrong, that you can and have been a good person, you just need to be given a chance. No one is born evil Hiei."

At those words the ex-demon melted into Yusuke, hands fisting into Yusuke top, trembling violently, the most emotional Yusuke had ever seen her. Was it so wrong for Hiei to think herself not evil?

"I was Yusuke…I was born dirty, I was born evil," whispered Hiei.

"You were born different Hiei, you weren’t born dirty. All children are innocent, you were no exception. Now say it Hiei, even if they room will let you out I won’t, not till you admit it."

Tears started to silently make their way down Hiei’s pale cheeks. "I… I’m not… evil," whispered the ex-demon letting out a soft sob and pressing her face in Yusuke’s chest.

Yusuke could only smile softly and stroke Hiei’s head as the images stopped and the door creaked open to let natural light in.

"Now you finally except your true nature Hiei," said Yusuke softly still petting the softly weeping girl’s head. "You can be just as evil or good as you choose, you’re fate is your own," she said wrapping her arms around Hiei. She looked up at Kurama and the others who were looking curiously in at them.

"Yusuke?" asked Kurama.

Yusuke gave her the thumbs up sign. "Everything fine, ne Hiei?" said Yusuke looking back down at her.

Hiei pulled back enough to brush her fingertips over her cheek, look slightly surprise to see the moister there. She closed her eyes and leaned back in pressing the side of her face to Yusuke’s front again. "Everything’s fine," she said softly.
"Is it really, Yusuke?" asked Kurama noting Hiei’s tears.

"Yup," said Yusuke standing up and dragging Hiei with her. "Things couldn’t be better," she grinned walking out of the room with Hiei still pressed to her front.
Magami narrowed her eyes at Yusuke. "You’re being perverted again."

"What?! I’m comforting her!" protested Yusuke holding Hiei tighter to her and turning to the side afraid Magami would snatcher the ex-demon from her.

"Then why are your hands on her butt?" asked Magami crossing her arm.

"Eh?" said Yusuke looking over Hiei’s shoulder and down her back to where her hands were indeed laid over the ex-demon’s curves.

"Hahahahaha," laughed Yusuke nervously as everyone gave her the look. "I guess they’ve got minds of their own," she said rubbing the back of her head.

"Hn," snorted Hiei giving a small smile before detangling herself from Yusuke to go and stand next to Jouki, who latched on to her arm and started telling Hiei how worried she’d been for her.

Yusuke glared at Magami and pointed her finger at Hiei and Jouki.

"I don’t see her grabbing Hiei-san’s butt," said Magami glaring back.

"Ahh!" said Yusuke in defeat.
TBC