~Once Burned~

Finally, chapter 8! It took me a long time because I wanted every little detail to be perfect. I still don't know if I succeeded or not. If the imagery seems to be a tad lacking again, it's because (spoiler)I'm saving all of the really "visual" stuff for the next chapter. Anyway, this is what I call the "confession chapter," 'cause it involves at least two of those kinds of things. There'll be a lot of dialogue, so try not to fall asleep.

Another lime alert, just for those of you who have been foaming at the bit for a little more action. So, before I go and ruin the entire story for you, read on and enjoy (and please don't kill me!)


Shiori got used to seeing Hiei around very quickly, and soon she had come to accept him as a permanent fixture in her son’s life. She still wasn’t entirely certain what the boys’ relationship was, but the suspicion she had garnered upon her first meeting with the black-haired young man had grown with each passing day. One had only to watch the two closely to see signs of their attachment to one another, an attachment that ran far deeper than that of mere acquaintances. It was inevitable that she confront Shuuichi about it, and confront him she did one afternoon when Hiei was over for lunch.

“Shuuichi,” she said after a few minutes of idle chatter between herself and her son, “How are things going between you and Hiei-kun?”

She noted with great interest the way he nearly dropped the soda he was drinking, his green eyes widening. He composed himself quickly, but not quickly enough to escape notice.

“What do you mean?” Kurama asked, feigning ignorance.

His mother leveled an all-knowing look at him. “You two seem awfully close, that’s all. I was wondering how close.”

Now Hiei was staring at her too, in a way that indicated he hadn’t thought she was that intuitive. The two boys glanced at each other, and something seemed to pass between them before Shuuichi turned back to her. She observed how he did not quite meet her eyes.

Kurama sighed inwardly. It had only been a matter of time before this came up. It was his responsibility to tell her the truth. At least there were some details he could leave out, like the fact that he and Hiei were demons. That was definitely something she did not need to know.

“I’m sorry, Mother,” he began, “I should have talked with you sooner, but I wasn’t certain how you’d react. Hiei and I have been friends for a very long time, and in that time…I’ve developed strong feelings for him.”

She was silent for a moment. When she did speak, she sounded calm. “Does he return those feelings?”

Kurama chanced a quick look at Hiei. The fire demon’s face was, as it often was, unreadable, but Hiei nodded. The kitsune wasn’t sure if he meant what the nod implied, but they could talk about it later. “Yes. I love you, Mother, and I don’t want to hurt you, but I love him too. I’m not going to change my mind.”

“I see.” Shiori rose from the table. She had suspected, but actually having her thoughts confirmed was still overwhelming. “I’m going to have to think about this, Shuuichi. I don’t know if I can honestly say I approve, but I promise I love you no matter what I decide.”

“I understand.” Kurama replied, his emerald eyes sad but determined.

She left the room, likely going to her own to have some time to be alone and ponder these revelations. Kurama slumped against the back of his chair in a mixture of relief and lingering dread. That had gone much better than the hundreds of horrible scenarios he had played out in his head, but things were still on shaky ground.

“I think she’ll accept it,” Hiei offered, “She’s more intelligent than I gave her credit for, and she cares for you a great deal.”

“I know, but this has to come as a shock. Even the most loving of parents can react badly to finding out their child is homosexual. She’s kind, but I’m still worried.”

They waited in the kitchen, not talking much more but rather just sitting there, both lost in their thoughts whatever those might be. Shiori returned after about an hour, and though her eyes were a little red she managed a smile for her oldest child.

“I cried a little,” she admitted, “But it was more because I was worried about losing you. Then I realized that I was being silly, thinking that way. I know you love me, Shuuichi, and I know I can’t stop you from making your own decisions. You and Hiei are very close; I can see that. I may think it’s strange, but maybe that’s just the way I was brought up. If you really love him and he loves you, I won’t stop you. I can’t say it enough, son: I love you, and I want what’s best for you. But only you can decide what that is. Your father will understand that too. I’ll talk to him when he gets home.”

“Thank you,” Kurama whispered, and he realized his eyes were wet with unshed tears, “I love you too, Mother.” He wanted to say more, to reassure her, to tell her that he would talk to his father himself if need be, but he couldn’t trust himself to speak. So instead he simply embraced her, pouring out his gratitude into one, tight hug.

Hiei watched the scene play out with mixed emotions. He felt a twinge of jealousy, for the bond Kurama had with his mother. He felt a hint of sadness, for what he did not know. And there, under everything else, he felt a kernel of something that made his chest ache and his throat feel tight, that made his face feel hot and his hands feel cold, and that made him want to both run away as fast as he could and throw his arms around Kurama and never let go, all at once. It was there and gone in an instant, so quickly it almost made him gasp, but it was intense. He thought it was similar to the way he had felt while watching Kurama sleep, but stronger. It was also different enough that he recognized it as something he had never felt before. Now, not only did he feel like he was becoming something else, something bigger, but also that he was more himself than he had ever been, right here and now in this moment. That “wholeness” he had thought he was becoming a part of before was now closer than ever. It was frightening like letting Kurama touch him had been, in a wondrous way.

His head reeling, he merely watched as Kurama hugged his mother tightly and almost—almost—cried for the first time Hiei had ever seen. The fox would never shed a real tear, just like he himself never would. But Kurama could come very close. Hiei wondered if he would ever even come as close as the kitsune was now. Maybe if that feeling came back, and stayed longer next time.

Shiori dried the new flow of tears that had started up for no reason that she could discern. “I’m just a silly old thing,” she managed, “Embarrassing myself that way. I’m sorry, Shuuichi.”

“It’s all right,” he assured her, “I’m just happy this isn’t going to drive a space between us.” He glanced at his fire demon love. “Mother…I think Hiei and I need to talk, all right?”

She nodded. “I’ll be here in the kitchen. I have some baking to do anyway. You know that old school friend of mine from Tokyo? She’s not feeling well, so I’m sending her some sweets to cheer her up.”

“We’ll just be in my room.” the redhead told her.

Shiori fixed him with a stern look. “Just because I acknowledge your relationship doesn’t mean I’ll turn a completely blind eye. Nothing happens out of wedlock, understand?”

Kurama and Hiei both sweatdropped. “Of course.” the kitsune answered.

“I mean it. If I hear one thing out of the ordinary, I’m sending Hiei-kun home, and you’re getting the lecture of a lifetime.”

“Yes, Mother.” /I promise you won’t *hear* a single thing./

Barely able to suppress the smile that tugged at his lips, he all but dragged Hiei upstairs. “She accepts it,” he said happily, once they were behind his closed door, “She isn’t angry with me.”

Hiei raised an eyebrow. “I noticed. So, you wanted to say something to me?”

“Earlier, when she asked if you returned my feelings, you nodded. Did you mean it?”

The fire demon’s features smoothed into an indecipherable mask. “And if I did?”

Kurama honest-to-goodness grinned for the first time since all of this had begun. “Then I would have to call in that payback you promised me. You can’t keep a kitsune waiting forever, you know.”

Hiei huffed in annoyance, but it was just for show. Then he grew solemn. “You know, when you knew she wasn’t going to reject you for your choices, you seemed so glad. It made me feel a lot of strange things that I’d never felt before.”

“Could you describe them for me?”

Hiei did, hesitantly. He still wasn’t used to talking this openly with anyone; indeed, he didn’t think he ever would be.

The redhead gazed thoughtfully at him. “I know those feelings. I’ve had them myself. I had them for a long time before I realized they meant I was in love with you.”

/Love?/ Hiei thought with a jolt, /Is that what it means? Do I finally love him back?/

“I won’t rush you,” Kurama assured him, “You have to decide for yourself if that’s what those feelings mean. It has been a while since I told you how I feel, but for a demon it must seem the blink of an eye, am I right?”

“It does seem sooner than I would have expected.” the Koorime-boy admitted. He tested the word in his head: Love. It was just a word, really. What shame was there in admitting how he felt with just a little word? It wasn’t as though “I love you” meant that he was weak, was it? That was the problem with humans; they tacked a thousand useless connotations onto one tiny word, and made it much harder for that word to be used in a simple way from then on. It was so easy to say one little word; he did it all the time. So why, when he tried to speak, would nothing come out?

/What the hell is holding me back? I return his feelings at long last, and now I’m struck dumb? This is ridiculous! JUST SAY IT!/

What if Kurama thought he meant something else by it? What if by saying it, he was admitting things he hadn’t meant to admit? What if something broke inside of him and could never be fixed, all because he had said that word? A million what-ifs crowded his thoughts and choked him, preventing that single word from emerging as he knew it should. It should have been easy. Why was it so hard?

/Because if you say it,/ a little voice in the corner of his mind whispered, /he can hurt you. And you’ve already been wounded too many times./

With that thought, everything suddenly became clear. The reason he had refused to accept the kitsune’s feelings and return them before now was not because he hadn’t felt the same way. It was because he was afraid. He was just plain afraid of what could happen. He, tamer of the Black Dragon, was terrified of the unknown. He couldn’t help it. He exploded.

Kurama stared as Hiei abruptly started laughing uncontrollably; loud, unsteady, hysterical laughter that shook the small demon so hard he had to clutch the fox’s shirt for support.

“I’m sorry,” the fire apparition gasped between bouts of wild laughing, “I’m sorry!”

Concerned, Kurama wrapped his arms around Hiei and merely held him as the halfbreed laughed in a way that sound suspiciously like sobbing when it was muffled against his shirt that way. He had thought for years that Hiei was long overdue for a breakdown after everything he had suffered, but to actually see it was disturbing. Because that was exactly what this was: a breakdown. Hiei was confronting his own heart, and he wasn’t taking it well. If only the fire demon could weep, then maybe this would not be so hard on him. As it was, though, all Kurama could do was bolster the other with his presence and try to see him through it.

“Don’t apologize,” the demon fox murmured, “I’m not the one in pain. It’s all right.”

Slowly the storm passed, and Hiei fell silent and composed himself with a Herculean effort. His face burned with embarrassment at his desperate outburst. He felt strangely relieved, even if he *had* just made an utter fool out of himself. “I’m sorry,” he repeated quietly, “That…just happened. I’m fine now.”

“You were more than entitled to it, Hiei. I’m actually surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Hn.”

A knock on the door startled them. “Shuuichi? Is everything all right?”

/She wasn’t joking,/ Kurama thought, /She really *is* listening for anything unusual./

“We’re fine,” Hiei called back, “I found something that he said funny, that’s all. I’m easily amused.”

Shiori poked her head in briefly to ascertain that they were both really okay, then left them alone again.

Kurama gave him a funny look. “Something I said?”

“Not really. More like something I thought to myself.”

Hiei leaned forward and rested his forehead against the kitsune’s chest once more, not relinquishing his hold on the taller male’s shirt. “I do, you know.” he said, his voice barely audible.

The fox cocked his head to one side in momentary confusion. Then his eyes widened. “You do?”

Hiei nodded, not able to meet his eyes. “Yes.”

Kurama chuckled softly at the way Hiei avoided the use of the actual phrase “I love you.” It was silly, but if it was what the fire demon needed to do, then the kitsune would let him. At least he had gotten an admission of sorts, and now he knew for certain how Hiei felt about him.

“How good is your mother’s hearing?” Hiei queried abruptly.

Kurama shook his head, not in denial of anything but rather in astonishment. How many times would the half-Koorime surprise him today? “No better than the average human’s.”

Blood-red eyes found his, and the kitsune was taken aback by how purposeful their gaze was. “Good.” Hiei said decisively.

And just like that, Kurama found himself flat on his back with a very determined youkai sitting on him. “Hiei, I was mostly joking earlier, when I said I wouldn’t be kept waiting. I really can be patient until you’re feeling more secure—”

“Shut up,” Hiei replied in an exasperated tone, “I’m not suddenly going to become a fragile little female, damn it. It’s your fault anyway; *you* said if I returned your feelings you’d call in that payback. So I’m paying you back, and you can keep quiet while I do. Unless of course, you want that woman to find out you’re not keeping your promise, you lying fox.”

A smirk worked its way onto the kitsune’s lips. “I don’t know how much you can possibly have learned in this amount of time. Are you sure you’re up to it?”

“If I can handle four or five moods swings a day—all your fault, by the way—then I can handle you. Now be quiet.”

Effectively silencing Kurama with a rough kiss, the fire youkai went to work. He didn’t know how good he’d be at this, considering all he knew came from books and a small amount of firsthand experience, but he was dead-set on doing his best.

Kurama murmured appreciatively at the sensation of curious hands wandering over his body. Sometimes, an inexperienced partner could be more exciting than a learned one. One never knew what a new lover would do, where they would touch, what sorts of things they would try by way of experimentation. Patience could go a long way as well. Once the other person knew what you liked, they were less likely to make unpleasant mistakes. Until then, there was a certain thrill about not knowing what would happen.

Sword-calloused fingers slipped beneath the fox’s shirt, brushing over his nipple and making him gasp. The action was repeated more deliberately, sending a tingling jolt through him. His fingers twitched against the carpet as Hiei pushed up the shirt and ran his tongue around the aureole (why did they always end up on the floor?), and when the fire demon took the taut nub into his mouth and sucked, Kurama had to suppress a moan lest Shiori hear.

Hiei paused in his ministrations and glanced up. “Am I....”

“You’re doing fine.” the fox encouraged.

The redhead muffled a yelp with his hand when Hiei nipped at the pebbled flesh. The pain was immediately soothed by the smaller demon’s tongue, and soon enough the other nipple received much the same as the first, minus the bite.

Hiei catalogued mentally each small reaction, gradually forming a list of ‘dos and don’ts.’ For instance, Kurama seemed to enjoy him using his mouth, but not his teeth. Keeping that in mind, he moved up to lick and suck gently on the side of the kitsune’s neck. He’d read that the neck tended to be a sensitive area, and from the way Kurama tilted his head to the side to give him greater access, it appeared to be true. He licked the shell of the demon fox’s ear, and Kurama squirmed and laughed. Mental note: ticklish. The more he explored, the closer he felt to the redhead, and the more he wanted to know about him.

Kurama could feel Hiei’s hands stroking his lower abdomen and thighs through his jeans, and marveled at how much hotter they were than usual. Over the years he’d had the occasion to brush against the fire demon’s bare skin by accident right before or after a battle, when Hiei’s youki was building or just cooling down, and he had noticed the difference from his normal, lowered temperature. On average, Hiei’s body temperature was only slightly above that of a human, because he suppressed his youki to avoid detection. The fact remained, however, that in truth it could reach heights far into the hundreds. As long as the halfbreed controlled it, that too could contribute to a very intense experience. Kurama gained proof of this when Hiei leaned down and ran his tongue around the kitsune’s navel; the touch was almost scalding, but not hot enough to burn.

“Please....” the fox found himself beseeching, feeling one of those near-scorching hands hovering just above his sex, which strained against the confinement of his denim pants.

Hiei acquiesced to his plea, bringing his hand down to rub the fox-boy through the rough fabric. Kurama arched slightly into that not-quite-adequate touch, silently asking for more than the elusive sensation. The fire apparition unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans and pulled them down, along with Kurama’s briefs, and the breath the reincarnated kitsune hadn’t known he’d been holding escaped in a half-stifled cry, when that blazing-hot tongue licked tentatively at the head of his arousal. Kurama clasped both hands tightly over his mouth to prevent the sounds from emerging, but he couldn’t quite silence them with Hiei almost shyly lapping at him that way. Personally, Hiei rather wished he could hear those sounds unrestrained, but he knew the wisdom of being quiet.

Once he was used to the fox’s taste, he took Kurama in about halfway and sucked. There was no way he was going to attempt all of it at once, at least not until he was a lot better at this. He was having a hard enough time as it was, with the way the kitsune was trying not to move and failing to some degree. He gripped Kurama’s length gently with one hand and used the other to hold the redhead’s hips down.

It was hard for Kurama to think straight when he was feeling so good. He tried to stay still so Hiei wouldn’t gag, but it was so difficult! His human body was new to this pleasure, and he couldn’t remember the last time anyone’s mouth around him had been so hot and so wonderful. A stuttered, keening sound resulted from muffling his moans, his eyes wouldn’t stay open, and he was grateful when Hiei pinned his hips to the floor because he truly didn’t think he could do it himself at the moment.

He all but whimpered when the hand left his sex and instead explored the slowly tightening orbs below it, feeling the weight and texture of them, fondling and squeezing lightly in a way that nearly drove him insane. Experienced Hiei was not, but he had good instincts and a lot of potential. The short youkai’s hand went back to its original place and began caressing Kurama’s shaft while Hiei carefully suckled on the rest, only occasionally slipping and scraping his teeth a bit against the feverish skin. The kitsune’s tenor voice went a half-octave higher in pleasure each time the latter happened; it almost hurt, but it wasn’t enough for him to want it to stop.

Hiei jerked back in surprise when suddenly Kurama bucked against his restraining hand, and hot fluid burst over his tongue. He ended up getting most of it across the side of the face as a result, and he cursed sharply under his breath at the ridiculous mistake.

Once he stopped gasping, Kurama managed to open his eyes and look at his little lover. He might have laughed save for the murderous expression on the fire demon’s features. “I’m sorry, Hiei,” he said, struggling to sit up in the wake of the delicious shivers still running through his limbs, “I should have warned you, I suppose. It didn’t occur to me until it was too late.”

Hiei reached up and got most of it off with his hand, staring blankly at the milky fluid before darting his tongue out to taste it. He appeared to find it to his liking or at least tolerable, for he cleaned the rest from his palm and fingers that way. “Don’t trouble yourself. I shouldn’t have let myself be surprised. So, how did I do on that payback?”

Kurama sighed in content and lay back down on the carpet, stretching languidly. “Mmm, I’d say you’ve earned an A+ in the Beginners’ Category. Now all that’s lacking is technique, but you make up for that with a healthy abundance of curiosity. In layman’s terms, you’re a natural.”

“I’d better be, after all that research.” Hiei growled.

Kurama just smiled. /Ah, my grouchy little fire demon. I love you and you love me, and grades don’t matter much in light of that fact./

He fixed his clothes in case his mother walked in on them, and helped Hiei clean up more thoroughly.

“I should go before the woman gets suspicious.” the shorter youkai stated.

“Must you?” Kurama asked wistfully. He hugged the jaganshi and ruffled his wild hair, making Hiei wrinkle his nose in annoyance. “Can’t you at least stay a little longer? It would make me happy if you did.”

/Well, if it would make him happy....After all, he’s already done enough for me that I can at least not run off this time./ “I’ll stay.”

And stay he did, the rest of the day and that night as well (though not in Kurama’s room. Shiori set him up in a guest room). It wasn’t as troublesome as “staying” had always been in the past. As a matter of fact, for the first time in his life, Hiei felt like he could actually belong. As he fell asleep that night in a place neither tree nor cave, he smiled sleepily to himself.

/Maybe I’ll stay tomorrow, too./

Wah. There it is. Did it stink as badly as I think it did? I was beating myself up the whole time, trying to figure out what Kurama and Hiei would or wouldn't be likely to do in certain intsances, keeping in mind that in "canon pairing" terms they wouldn't do any of the stuff I've written so far, and that sort of makes my whole fic one big abuse of my artistic liscense. n_n;; Anyway, I should cease my pathetic, desperate rambling and go pray I don't get bad reviews now. *Goes and cries in a corner.* If no one's noticed, I've been having a problem with self-esteem lately, so I'm sorry if I seem a little cracked.