Untitled

Afraid To Fall


Botan looked up. “He came by?” she asked a bit surprised. Then regaining her composure, she asked,

“Why? What did he say?” she waited, a hint of concern and wonder laced her voice.

In reality, Kurama mumbled his whole inquiry that night when he went to check up on Botan. Shizuru can’t help but be amused with the way the kitsune was acting.

Kurama played the incident in his mind. He’s been doing that for almost half a day now. Hiei had gone to his house for another eat and dash. Kurama was oblivious to the fire demon who was quietly studying his current state.

“You are totally spaced out, Kurama.”

Kurama only shrugged at his comment. It’s been three days, and even now, it was vivid. He remembered Shizuru’s probing manner when she answered the door. He felt totally awkward when the siblings started to quiz him on why he was there.

“What’s up Kurama?” Shizuru queried as she let him in.

“I was, uh… is she here?” He asked and tried to appear composed.

“Why?” Shizuru asked and slightly tilted head.

“I uh…” Usually he is unruffled under scrutiny. A smile played on Shizuru’s lips.

“Yes?” she prodded on, clearly enjoying the spectacle in front of her.

“Hey Kurama, what are you doing here? Stay for dinner.” greeted Kuwabara when he saw him. Kurama’s eyes darted back to Shizuru who was trying to suppress her laughter.

This one is a classic! Who would have thought Kurama can be such a charming little school boy?

Kurama cleared his throat. “Shizuru, I think your dinner is on fire.” he pointed to the kitchen, breaking Shizuru’s train of thought.

“Oh no!!!” she cried out, rushing back into the kitchen, grabbing a handful of towels on the way.

“Still on for dinner?” Kuwabara joked. “What brings you here?” he said stepping beside his friend.

“Just checking on Botan. She left school late. No big deal.” He said in one breath.

Open mouth. Insert foot. God, when did I become retarded?

Kuwabara stared at his friend. “She’s asleep. Shizuru asked me not to bother her. Is something up?”

Figures. She’s probably tired waiting up there for hours…

“Yes, I mean no. Um… tell Shizuru I can’t stay for dinner, but thanks anyway…” He backed out the door letting his self out. Kuwabara stood there scratching his head.

What was that about?, he wondered. Not long after, his mind turned to the kitchen, exasperated at the mess his sister made.

Kurama went back to his house, silently cursing himself.

Idiot! Why did I go there anyway?

He knew Botan stayed after school. He placed it upon himself to keep an eye on her only until Yusuke comes. He saw her wait patiently until she stood up and left. Yusuke was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t come after all. His heart went out to the blue haired deity as he watched her sigh to herself for the hundredth time. He fought with himself to go to her, though she seemed okay. He stayed where he was and watched her retreating back move away from where he was hiding.

Botan always had a calm happy exterior about her. She didn’t show when she was sad or distressed. She had to be cheerful for the others to not lose hope during fights. She has always been that way since Kurama met her.

How do I feel about her?

They’ve spent some time together before and became close friends, although recently, she was always at Yusuke’s side.

He was mesmerized by her. She constantly surprises him with her unusual antics which make him laugh most of the time. Once she goaded him to ride on her oar.

“Afraid to fall?” she teased. She giggled at his expression then, and summoned her trusty oar. Sitting down, she pointed at the space beside her. Kurama remained rooted to the ground.

“Aww come on! Nobody wants to fly with me… I am a good pilot.” she pouted.

Kurama eyed the oar warily. No way am I going to ride on that thing.

“I have insurance.” She kidded.

He sighed exasperatedly, giving in to her zany request. “You are odd, you know that?” he mumbled.

She looked at him, her eyes radiant. “Yes. Thank you. Now, sit here please.”

Here goes nothing. He remembered how her eyes lit up when he moved to sit on the damned thing.

“Alright!!!” she laughed as they shot up in the sky.

Kurama smiled at the memory. He’s getting akin to having her around.

He didn’t care for boats and fishes. Nobody was more surprised than him when that crazy idea popped into his mind that. It’s just that he wanted to cheer Botan up. Even though she didn’t show it, he could feel she was lonely. He didn’t even expect her to agree with him. He remembered the way she looked at him when he asked her to go with him…

She must have thought I lost my mind…

From nowhere he asked her how she felt about Yusuke. He felt a million different feelings at that moment, almost as if he was scared to find out.

He remembered what Hiei said.

“Botan is confused right now over Urameshi. You do know that right?” Hiei scolded.

Kurama closed his eyes and sighed. Why do I care? he whispered to himself.

Why do I care so much?

He put his hands to head. He didn’t know how all of this came to be. He had beaten himself up thinking about how he felt, how she felt. Feelings aren’t supposed to distract him. He’s a goddamn youko for crying out loud. He felt frustrated, angry to find out that he can’t control what he felt, like his feelings weren’t his own. It consumed him, making him angrier towards Yusuke, Botan, and himself.

After a while he stood up and grabbed some seeds. He decided to pay his garden a visit, determined to push all insufferable thoughts behind. Tending to his plants calmed him.

He worked his way from medicinal herbs to flowers. Involuntarily he reached and touched an exquisite peony. Then and there, as sudden as lightning, it dawned on him.

Of course.


*that's chapter eight guys. it's a remembering the past kind of thing. kurama needed to look back to come to a realization. heee. i'll try to finish this in ten or twelve chapters so look out for the ending okay?

Yana : glad you liked it. don't worry, she'll be fine *wink*. thanks for the reviews! keep on reading ^__^
KuwaL : thanks for the review. yup, she's staying at their house. see is that what you wanted to hear. you'll see how yusuke is in the next chapter so til then..

don't forget to review!
thanks!

isabela Ü*