Risk of Conviction

LIKE A FOOL I WENT

 

I moved near and began to read my release papers, which were spread on the desk. The prince came up beside me. His head moved until our foreheads touched.

 

I brushed him away. Aware that I’d picked up some Japanese customs of personal space, but I guarded my speech.

 

“Let me read.”

 

The prince touched the inside of my wrist and stroked his fingers out over mine.

 

 “Kurama,” he warned. The r’s of my name gave his voice golden burls, in a tone was so low that I could feel vibration of it through my bones. “You know what it says.”

 

I watched his hand over mine.

 

Then I understood, without reading.

 

Almost as a spasm, I dropped the pen and knocked his hand off.

 

Prince Koenma laughed, a preening single exhale, politely acknowledging that he had approached too quickly. But like a child, he neither retreated nor gave me time to think. “I am more than generous; any standard punishment would involve an imprisonment of solitude far beyond your mother’s short lifespan.”

 

It was not hard enough to be an insult, but with his stature and rank, I want as immediately aware of the injudicious choice as if I had been dumped in cold water.

 

“I…” I blinked, searching my life for precedent. But demons did not rape. Their tortures were not so nuanced. That horror was purely human and as a human, though I had often prevented it, I had not experienced it.

 

What was this? Coercion, harassment…just a contract.

 

“I’m not familiar with this…as payment. Is that legal?”

 

The prince shifted his weight and set his jaw. I saw a dark anger lurching through him.

 

“If you agree, it will only be this once.” He slid his hand around my belly, dipping his thumb into my navel. Heat built in the contact, his skin on mine spreading and sharing warmth. “And only for one day – and one night.”

 

I put my shock aside, accepting the proposal’s truth to evaluate. “Let me think.”

 

His hands traced me.

 

Perhaps it would not be too painful. I could set the limits. The prince seemed innocent, childlike as he waited, offended to see me hesitate and crack. Perhaps he would be easy to please. He may be a naïve experimenter.

 

Licking my lips, I looked over his body. I liked his face, his politician’s perfection and corruption. He was not a fighter. Yet his personality was disturbing, controlling. But what choice did I have?

 

 “A few hours only,” I agreed abruptly, surprising myself. “I must be back for dinner.”

 

Prince Koenma’s lip curled unbecomingly. His eyes slit.

 

“Call her and tell her that you’re staying overnight. For two days.” He said it sweetly. That was his rude reminder that this was not a negotiation.

 

I tried to joke. “Two days is a very long time. Are you planning on sharing me?”

 

The prince laughed, a deep creak like a train pulling into station. “Oh, fox. You have been around human limits for far too long.”

 

My skin flushed, imagining it. The myth of the woman making love to a statue came vivid to my mind. What would it be like, riding this half deity? “Please, we must set better rules.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Something about his fast agreement flattered me. I put my hand on his. His scent pleased me, woke me.

 

“No one but you touches me.”

 

“I like that.”

 

“Nothing but you touches me.”

 

“I like that too.”

 

“No toys. No weapons, no razor blades, no cutting. Nothing inside me but you.”

 

He groaned, stroking my arm down to my hand. “That’s a promise.”

 

I jerked my hand from under his. Blood rushed to my groin.

 

“Are you excited for me?” Koenma grinned, as easily proud as a young boy. “I think this will be an excellent arrangement.”

 

I ignored my arousal, squeezing my fists.“It is demeaning.”

 

“You’ll enjoy it.”

 

“I will not.”

 

“Then your lack of enjoyment will be satisfying enough punishment for your worst accusers. Call your mother and tell her. Two days.” The prince ran his fingers through my hair.

 

I lifted the phone receiver from his desk. Koenma gestured at it and I was instantly connected to my home line.

 

“Shuuichi?” her voice came out, worried.

 

“Mom. I’m fine. Still studying.” I looked up. “With a friend.”

               

                “Studying,” Koenma laughed. “Filthy liar. I knew it.”

 

“I’m tutoring another boy now,” I glared. “There’s no hope for the idiot. He got in on his father’s good word, I suspect. Another infantile relic of nepotism. Oh don’t worry - even if he overheard, he wouldn’t know what those words meant.”

 

“Don’t anger me. I can make this as humiliating as I want,” Koenma murmured in my other ear.  His eyes shone warmly, despite what he said.  “Unless you enjoy wearing lace panties, don’t upset me.”

 

I caught the phone before it hit the desk. Cupping it back into my slick palm, I said, “Y-yes, I’m still here.” I turned away from Koenma for privacy, and to focus on saying goodbye. “I’ll see you in a few days.  I love you…very much.  I’m so glad you’re better.”

 

His warm hands smoothed over my shoulders and back. I clapped my hand over the receiver and hissed, “Don’t touch me. I haven’t signed yet.”

 

“I will make it a week in a heartbeat, Shuichi.  Or maybe just once a month.  Forever.”

 

Still covering the mouthpiece, I snarled, “Quite a marriage. But I suppose someone who needs a signed contract to find a one night stand puts high value on commitment — Mother!” I moved my hand away. “Ow - don’t yell! I’m still here. Yes, I know, I’m sorry.”

 

“What?” Koenma demanded.

 

“I’ll bring the groceries home when I get back Friday. I—you can get them yourself. I know what I said. This came up. It’s not my first choice, I assure you. Mother, don’t shout. I’d much rather be at home.”

 

“I’m not your first choice?” Koenma mused. “Honeymoon’s over.”

 

I turned on him “Shut up!—oh no, I was talking to him —I don’t use that language, Mother—“

 

She hung up.

 

I spun on Koenma, holding the phone like a weapon. “Two days into my mother’s recovery and she already thinks it’s not worth living to raise such a child!”

 

He pulled my hands down.  “Write an apology.  We’ll deliver the groceries ourselves with the note.”

 

Kindness from such a manipulative pervert. Did etiquette exist for that? I simply handed the phone to him and nodded.

 

I penned an apology, an explanation. I handed it to him, folded. Koenma opened it, read it. His eyes slid to me and I scowled. “Kurama, you really are a monster. I’m surprised the paper’s long enough to accommodate such a fable. Botan!”

 

The Shinigami appeared. He gave her the note and list. I was torn between begging for help and keeping my face hidden, but then I was suddenly sure that she knew and had known. As she left, I could imagine that she would walk through the office, winking and telling anyone who asked that yes, the slutty little fox, the great Silver Youko, was comfortable in the boss’s plush office making atonement on his knees.

 

I stared after her, eyes hidden behind my bangs. Did I truly want to do this?

 

Koenma shut the door against her quickly and said, “Let me see you in your true form.”

 

“The fox? I am not able.”

 

“Don’t you dare lie to me. I’ll make you bathe my feet with your tongue.”

 

I repeated myself, annoyed. “I am not able. This is shared blood, not a mask I can throw off.”

 

“Pity.” He came back to his desk. As he passed, he stroked my hair with his knuckles. “I love animals.”

 

I was still, thinking about the thin printed contract sitting before me. It was unreal. To assign a legal rape for theft was ludicrous. This government, this civilization, and their justice were a joke. Surely if I did sign, it would mean nothing.

 

I scoffed, “Don’t I have rights under your law?”

 

“Of course you have rights.” Prince Koemna crooned, sitting back. He tucked his ankle up over his knee, resting his hand. “Like every entity here, you have a choice: fair judgment or mercy.”

 

“Judgment or mercy. Of what kind?”

 

He flicked some dirt off his nails. “Fair judgment for assisting in a theft that could have resulted in the painful death, torture or enslavement of humanity. In its entirety. Or my mercy. However I define it.”

 

“Humanity is in no danger from Hiei or the soul eater,” I protested, trying to make him feel guilt. I wanted to remind him how little I had done – stolen and returned a mirror. “Those idiots could not foresee the end of a sidewalk, much less plan the elimination of a species that has survived countless extermination attempts.”

 

“Indeed?” Koenma mimicked my intensity, feigning consideration. “Smart then, to recruit you.”

 

Fair judgment or mercy. Fair judgment and they would exterminate me for eternity for the crime. But I could knew he felt no obligation to his word.

 

“And if I were to try to walk out that door?”

 

Prince Koenma looked at his nails. Then he turned his hand to me and opened it slowly. His fingers uncurled to show his palm.

 

It was like the quiet thud of soundless pressure before a bomb.

 

My hair blew over my shoulder, but I was not the target. I turned. The door was gone, leaving only a smooth wall.

 

The prince leaned forward and putting his arms on the desk. “This is not some borderland in Makai, with a few SDF confronting you after a month long chase and ambush.” He pushed his index finger down onto the desk surface. “You are in the heart of the Reikai. This is mine. The office you robbed – that was mine.”

 

His groin was swollen against his clothes and he spread his legs in my direction.

 

“Your punishment is also mine.”

 

“Justice of a partial and ignorant body of law is a façade for a control game run by united weaklings and fools,” I said.

 

“I’ll ignore the insult, seeing your position. Was that from Nietzsche?”

 

“Observation.” I crossed my arms.

 

The prince grinned and popped his finger at me, in a motion like the detective’s gun, “A government is a body of people, notably ungoverned.”

 

“Pop culture?” I guessed.

 

“Humanity.  I’m a fan.”

 

“You’ll fuck anything, I suppose.”

 

“Don’t,” he warned. “Use that language, Shuichi. It’ll buy you a lot of time in awkward positions.”

 

The growl in his voice made me tremble. He was a pervert, a liar, a spoiled and self-indulgent brat. 

 

But he wasn’t bad looking and he was going out of his way not to hurt me. 

 

And what did a contract mean to me? Just ink on paper, like any prayer scroll that could be brushed aside at the first sign of broken confidence.

 

I hesitated. The fountain pen lay on the desk.

 

I took it up and I signed.

 

He put the paper away safely.

 

“Not…here.” I said. I hoped.

 

“Of course not. It would be a crime to take a delicacy like you over a cold desk.  Let’s find someplace warm.” Taking my hand, he pulled me before him where his hand could hug my waist. “I don’t want you getting goosebumps.”

 

I pulled my hand away. “Now that you’ve touched me, the clock starts.”

 

Koenma spun me to face him. “Keep talking. I’ll keep adding tribulations.”

 

I twisted my wrists out of his hands. “You don’t hate me enough to be a danger.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“You want me to like you.”

 

Koenma nodded.

 

Moving forward tentatively, as though he were reaching bare handed into snow, he ran his fingertips under my jaw.

 

I let him tilt my head up and press his lips against mine. They slid, pinching my bottom lip, then settling firmly against the top. They were impossible lips. They had never known true brutality, and never sacrificed. They were spoiled ripe, richly sweet and full.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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*Koenma’s quote is obviously from Firefly, owned by the estimable Joss Whedon; not mine and not making any profit off it.

Chapter titles so far -  1: Great Balls of Fire (Jerry Lee Lewis, http://youtu.be/lidFipyLG8k) , 2: Mr. Postman (Marvellettes, http://youtu.be/KseUrBSRBDA) 3: The Way You Do the Things You Do (Temptations), 4: Mr. Sandman (Chordettes), 5: Candyman (Christina Aguilera or Roy Orbison), 6: Shop Around (The Miracles), 7: Signed Sealed Delivered (Stevie Wonder)……..and for the foreseeable future, 8: Down with Cupid (Judy Garland), 9: Lollipop, 10: Hound Dog, 11: Shake Rattle and Roll, and 12: Fever