Untitled

Tomorrow


They agreed to meet at the school’s roof top. He wanted to tell her how he felt. He already lost much sleep brooding over his new found feelings for his old friend… He paused shortly and took a deep breath. It’s now or never, he thought.

Botan went home slightly flushed. She had been waiting for who knows how long on the roof top.

He said it was important. Where could he be?

She took a light snack and shower. Her mood though didn’t go by unnoticed by Shizuru.

“How’s your day, darling?” she asked while she sat on the couch. She’s been scrutinizing her friend’s actions since she came home. She took a long puff from her cigarette.

“It’s fine.” Botan answered flatly. She sighed once more. And glanced at Shizuru who raised her eyebrows. They looked at each other for a while.

Giving up, Botan said at last, “I waited for two hours.” And then plopped down on the couch beside Shizuru.

“I feel pretty stupid, waiting there alone… worrying. Ooh!” she continued as she leaned back on the cushion and covered her face with a small pillow.

Poor Botan!

“What happened?” Shizuru asked. She turned to Botan and removed the pillow off her friend’s face.

“Nothing… He didn’t show up.” Botan said almost crying, and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Aw… come here…” Shizuru said and hugged her friend lightly. “Maybe something came up and he had to do it first… or something.” she offered.

“Maybe. I’m going to rest for a while, okay?” Botan sighed. She stood up and went to her room.

What is happening to me? she asked herself then laid down her bed.

The past several weeks came back as she tried to remember every moment. She was so happy to be with him. After all, she loved him for a long time.

One day Yusuke asked her, “Botan, go have lunch with me?” winking and pulling her hands to walk with him. They went out a couple of times. Most days, they just hang out at Kuwabara’s house doing homework or watching re-runs.

One time, Kuwabara commented, “You two are always together these past few days. It’s a good thing you two made up after that bar incident.” Yusuke chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m glad too. How about you and Yukina?” Yusuke queried. Kuwabara’s face turned deep red.

“I uh… haven’t told her yet.” Kuwabara said, his voice low.

“One day at a time, man. I don’t want to scare her or anything.” he continued.

Botan smiled at him. “You don’t scare her Kuwabara.” She assured him.

“The only reason he hasn’t told her yet is because he totally freezes up when he’s about to.” chirped Shizuru.

“My dear brother Kazuma is very shy.” she teased. Kuwabara’s face matched the color of his hair. He threw a pillow at her head.

“Oh come on Shizuru!!!” he boomed at his sister.

“That is so cute! You must really adore her don’t you?” Botan giggled.

Wanting to change the subject, Kuwabara turned to Yusuke.

“What about you, Yusuke?” Kuwabara asked, his face returning to its normal hue.

“What about me?” he asked back.
“I mean, you’re not sulking anymore… or lashing out for that matter.” Kuwabara went on.

Yusuke smiled sheepishly. “I said I was sorry… Anyway, I have Botan to thank for that.” he said, grinning, and putting his arms around her like they usually do. They are old buddies.

“Wha- you have all of us to thank, Yusuke.” Botan said as she tugged at his arm.

“That’s right you ungrateful bone head!!!” laughed Shizuru as she threw the pillow in Yusuke’s direction, triggering a pillow fight. Four laughing bodies were covered with feathers that day.

Looking back, Botan smiled as she remembered Hiei and Koenma’s expressions when they saw them. Both walked in on the four of them, dropping by for a visit.

“Your house has turned into a poultry farm.” Hiei smirked.

“I can’t believe I hired a bunch of idiots to save the world!” exclaimed Koenma.

They exchanged glances and rolled their eyes as the four tried to include them in the fight.

Botan pulled herself from the reverie back to the present.

As much fun as it was, it was also confusing. She didn’t know exactly how he felt about her.

I adored him for so long, and now he’s finally given me the time of day, she mused.

She knows she should be very happy at their new found closeness, but something was amiss. She sighed as she pulled back the covers.

I hope tomorrow will bring answers, she said as sleep enveloped her.

Tomorrow…

The next morning, Botan woke up feeling lazy, as she stretched her body along the silken sheets of her bed. Her stomach growled as she remembered she skipped dinner last night. The wonderful scent of breakfast greeted her along with Kuwabara and Shizuru.

“Good morning sleepy head!” chirped Kuwabara. He’s in a good mood today. Yukina asked him to go with her to the mall.

“Hiei must have rubbed off his favorite past time on you…” commented Shizuru.

“Good morning to you two. Breakfast smells good.” Botan sat down and began eating her breakfast.

“What happened to you last night? You missed dinner.” Kuwabara pointed out.

“Too bad it was delicious.” Shizuru laughed. Kuwabara ignored her and continued. “You missed Kurama. He dropped by last night…”

“That boy was really something.” Shizuru muttered under her breath.

Botan looked up. “He came by?” she asked a bit surprised. Then regaining her composure, she asked,

“Why? What did he say?” she waited, a hint of concern and wonder laced her voice.

Shizuru paused for a moment. “He didn’t stay long. He just wanted to know if you got home safely. Just checking, no big deal. Well, that’s what he said word per word.” Shizuru explained, stressing on the no big deal part.

“Oh.” Botan said and then busied herself with breakfast. As she was just finishing up, she received a call.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you right away... but I really wanted to talk to you.” Yusuke called Botan when he got home. He really did want to talk to her. He had to speak with her.

They agreed to meet the next day. Botan thought he sounded beat. She shrugged it off and didn’t give it another thought as she had lots to do as the day went on.

The next day, they agreed to meet at the roof top again. Yusuke was already waiting there when she came.

“Sorry I’m late… Koenma dumped another load of tasks for me. He says it his way of showing his love for all of us poor ferry girls.” Botan hopped of her oar and sat beside him.

“So… where were you yesterday, Yusuke? I was there… you didn’t show up.” Botan looked at him. She was ready to forgive him anything…

“I was with Keiko,” not looking at her, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

Silence.

Yusuke turned his eyes at her pleading for her to understand. “I’m sorry Botan. It didn’t mean anything… It was-”

“What didn’t mean anything?” she turned to him, her eyes void of emotion.

Yusuke stopped. He swallowed before he continued.

“I slept with her.”

Other than her sharp intake of breath, he heard nothing. No sad words, no heated retort, nothing… It was frightening. Just like a quiet that descends before tempest.

She can hear her heart shattering. She stood up. Amazingly, she was able to look at him, her voice not faltering. “You still love her.”

He stared at her. “But… I have feelings for you.”

She stopped. There was no spark, she didn’t feel anything. Isn’t that what she wanted to hear for so long? But things are more complicated now than mere unrequited love.

“You should go,” her voice rose slightly. Yusuke debated on whether he should leave her alone or stay.

“You’re not supposed to be here! Those feelings that you have… Yusuke, you don’t even know how you feel about me!” she shouted when he didn’t move.

“She needs you.” she added softly. She fought back tears that were threatening to spill off her lavender eyes.

“No,” he shook his head. “I want to be here. With you.” He took her hands in his.

“Yusuke…” she pulled away.

“I’m sorry Botan…” He didn’t know what else to say. He caused her so much pain already. He felt like crying. He was so lost.

He took a deep breath before he finally left.

Botan stood there watching as Yusuke’s form came out of view. She thought about all the times she spent doting on him, about feelings that went unnoticed and wasted. Her mind went back to Yusuke who was more lost than she was, and Keiko who probably wants to be loved back…

At long last, she found her own release, coming to full understanding of everything that happened between her and Yusuke. She let the tears fall freely.

It’s all we ever were.

After a long time, she finally felt free, knowing that at least her heart is her own.


*chapter seven over and out. thank you for reading. anyway, hope you liked it. chapter eight’s on the way.
heads up to Kurama fans. the next chapter is about him.

pam21 : i’ve incorporated hiei and koenma as best i can.
visitor008 : hey, thanks. Come visit again. ^__^
Botan : really? i’ve yet to read some of the stories here. i’ll check out yours sometime. thanks.
Yana : thanks so much. ^__^


reviews are very welcome.

isabela Ü*