Behind Closed Doors

Kurama heard the alarm in the other room and it took him a moment to figure out why it was so quiet. During the night, they had moved so that they both were lying against the arm of the couch. Yusuke was nuzzled into his chest. He hugged the brunet, “It’s time to wake up, Yusuke.”

Yusuke’s face scrunched, “I don’t hear it.”

Kurama had to smile, “Yes, you do. Up, or I’ll tickle you.”

Yusuke opened his eyes to glare at the redhead, “Tickle and I’ll get you back.”

Kurama smiled more, “How do you intend to do that?” They had wrestled before and he knew Yusuke was ticklish while he wasn’t, or at least not anywhere the brunet had managed to get to yet.

Yusuke grinned evilly, “I’ll use all the hot water.” He knew the redhead hated cold showers.

Kurama’s look was one of astonished horror, though his voice struggled not to shake with laughter, “You wouldn’t!”

“Don’t tempt me,” Yusuke returned, laughing. He rolled off the couch and pushed to his feet, stretching and popping his back as he did, “Remind me next time that sleeping on the couch isn’t comfortable.”

Kurama stood and stretched before bending to touch his toes, “You didn’t want to move and neither did I.”

Yusuke smiled, “Go get your shower, I’ll make breakfast.”

Kurama wrapped his arms around Yusuke, “You’re so good to me.”

Yusuke startled a little but before Kurama could pull back and apologize, he wrapped his arms around the redhead and hugged him tightly. “Go, get your shower,” he repeated, pushing Kurama away from him.

The rest of the morning went quickly because they slept later than they thought. They parted at the bottom of the stairs for their respective schools.

When Kurama arrived at Yusuke’s school, a familiar sight greeted him. Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei were standing by the gates. Hiei looked uncomfortable, Yusuke puzzled and tense. Kurama braced himself for the worst and walked up with a smile firmly in place. “Kuwabara-kun, Yusuke, Hiei,” he greeted them.

“Here,” Hiei handed him a piece of paper and as soon as he’d taken it vanished.

“What is with the shrimp lately?” Kuwabara groused. Yusuke looked at Kurama expectantly, nervous tension in every line of his body.

Kurama opened the note and read its contents, his smile softening as he did. “He is rediscovering some things, Kuwabara-kun, that are not so easy to rediscover.” He looked directly at Yusuke and saw that he understood and relaxed.

Kuwabara shook his head, “One day, I’ll understand you.”

Vaguely, Kurama agreed, “One day.” He stepped closer to Yusuke as the taller teen left them. “It seems Hiei has considers our friendship valuable.”

Yusuke reached out for the paper, but it wasn’t written in anything he could understand. “What does it say?”

Kurama smiled wryly, “Well, if Hiei were human, it would be a wish for our relationship to last. But, since he is a demon, it is a wish that we’d die in each other’s arms.” His expression softened, “He also signed it ‘honor above victory.’” He watched as Yusuke’s body relaxed and the brunet smiled. It startled him a little that he felt Yusuke’s ki reach out for his, but he responded in kind.

“Let’s go, then,” Yusuke turned to head towards Yuki’s office, his steps light.

They had the elevator to themselves and Yusuke leaned over and brushed his lips against Kurama’s cheek. Kurama turned and smiled at him, “Not that I’m complaining, but what is that for?”

“I missed my chance this morning,” Yusuke explained as if it made perfect sense. “Later,” he continued, “I want more.”

Kurama smiled, “Later, you can have what you want.”

“Good.” Any further conversation was ended by their arrival at the 21st floor.

Shiori was waiting for them just outside the door to Yuki’s office. She smiled at them, but it held a lot of nervousness. As they approached, her smile wavered and she opened the door for them. As he passed, Yusuke caught one of her hands and squeezed it briefly before releasing it. “Good afternoon, Mari,” he greeted the secretary.

The woman smiled, “Yuki is ready for you, Yusuke.” She stood and opened the door for them.

As they walked through the door, Yusuke explained, “I called ahead and told Yuki we’d all be here. Only fair, y’know.”

The door Kurama had gone through with Yusuke before stood open and they walked through it, Yusuke allowing Shiori through first, and then insisting Kurama go before him. Kurama brushed his hand against Yusuke’s as he passed and the brunet smiled at him.

Yuki was standing when they entered the room. “We’re going to do things a little differently today,” he began after greetings were exchanged. “Normally, we would all sit in here together while we discussed what each of you feels. Today, I want to talk to each of you individually first. Ms. Minamino, if you would come with me, please.”

After they left, Yusuke murmured, “I told him your mother seemed a little freaked out, like she wants to be okay with everything, but the thought of us together, well, bothers her.”

“I think that’s true,” Kurama agreed, “but, she also cares a lot for you and doesn’t want to hurt you, too.”

Yusuke leaned into Kurama and the redhead wrapped his arm around the brunet, “She’s trying hard, though, and I want her to know I appreciate it so much.”

“What about your mother?” Kurama asked softly. He’d not asked before about the woman’s frequent absences.

Yusuke shrugged, “She moved in with some guy and told me to keep the apartment if I wanted to. I don’t like the guy, so I’m staying where I am.”

They sat in silence the rest of the time Shiori and Yuki were out of the room. Yusuke didn’t move when the door opened except to look at Yuki and Shiori as they came through the door. Shiori walked over and kissed Kurama on the forehead and then kissed Yusuke’s forehead. “The rest of the time is for you two. I’ll see you for dinner afterwards?”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Yusuke smiled.

Her smile was a little wavy around the edges, but it reached her eyes, “You’re welcome, Yusuke.” She stepped out of the room again and Yuki followed to let her out of the office.

Yuki sat across from them in the overstuffed chair and watched them a moment, looking as if he were studying them. He took a deep breath and began, “This is probably the hardest part for both of you. The transition from friends and support to lovers can be very difficult. It can be more difficult since you still have to be in contact with Hiei.”

“We talked to him yesterday and he gave us a note today,” Yusuke supplied.

“How did that go?” Yuki asked.

Yusuke sat up from Kurama’s shoulder, “We saw him yesterday and told him to act with honor again or to leave us alone. Today he gave us a note that wished us well and placed honor above victory.”

“You talked to him?” Yuki asked.

“Yeah, yesterday. He was getting snotty and I told him I wanted the old him back, the one I liked and that person wouldn’t like the person he’d become.” He rubbed his hands together, “I was really scared, but I did it. Kurama was there, too, and that helped.” The redhead in question was amazed at how open Yusuke was being. “But, when I saw him this afternoon, I felt cold inside. I thought he might have decided he didn’t care about what we’d said. When Kurama told me what the note said, I felt so much better. Free, I guess.” Yusuke grinned at Yuki.

Yuki returned the smile, “You’ve made remarkable progress, Yusuke. Let’s talk about your relationship with Kurama a bit now.” Yuki leaned back, his hands relaxed across his stomach. “His mother told me she saw you two kissing.”

Yusuke licked his lips nervously, “Yeah, we did. I didn’t mean to upset her, but it felt like the thing to do at the moment. It was the first time we’d seriously kissed.” He looked into his lap, “It felt right.”

“Yusuke?” Yuki waited for the brunet to look at him, “That’s good. It’s good that it feels right to express how you feel. There’s nothing wrong with that. The most difficult part for you two over the next bit will be sorting through what feels right and the limits that you’ve had in order for you to reach this point. You still have some issues with wanting to be physically close to him, which is understandable.” Yuki looked at Kurama, “And, I think you have some issues, as well?”

“I don’t want to push him too hard. I don’t want him to feel forced into anything.”

“Which limits how much you’ll pursue him, right?” Kurama nodded, feeling uncomfortable that Yuki knew so much about him. “This is a common problem for couples that go through recovery together. It is the hardest part of rebuilding, too.” He sat silently for a moment, a look of concentration on his face. “Who initiated the kiss?”

“I did,” Yusuke answered, “both times. I kissed him later, in my apartment.”

Yuki thought a moment, looking as if he were trying to figure out how to frame his next statement. “Yusuke, how do you feel about perhaps being the dominant partner?”

Kurama’s eyebrows went up, but he held his tongue. This was not what he expected. Yusuke blinked, “Dominant?”

Yuki looked at Kurama, “You understand, I think.”

Kurama nodded, “Yes.”

Yuki nodded, “I’m not suggesting you have sex any time soon. I think rushing things would be a mistake. But, I think that Yusuke in the dominant role would help him recover, if you are comfortable with the submissive role.”

Kurama nodded, “I thought of him in that way, anyways.”

Yusuke spoke up, “You mean, you want me to…to…penetrate you?” he squeaked out the last.

Kurama turned to Yusuke, “Yes.”

“But…but…but what if…what if…if I hurt you?” his voice dropped to a bare whisper.

Kurama shifted on the couch so that his body was facing Yusuke, “You won’t, I know you won’t, Yusuke.” He lifted his hand to Yusuke’s cheek and could feel the boy trembling, “You won’t hurt me, Yusuke.”

The words barely reached Kurama’s ears, “What if I do to you what Hiei did to me?”

Kurama was shocked to hear those words, “I trust you, Yusuke.”

Yusuke snorted, “Well, that’s one of us.” He leaned into Kurama’s shoulder, “I trust you not to hurt me, but I don’t trust me.” He wrapped his arms around the redhead, “I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

Kurama returned the embrace, “That’s why you won’t, Yusuke. That’s why I trust you.” He reached out with his ki, trying something he’d only heard was possible. Yusuke, I trust you, he tried to whisper directly to the brunet’s energy.

Yusuke’s head came up from his shoulder and brown eyes sought his, “You mean that?” There was a look of wonder in his eyes that made Kurama think he wasn’t exactly referring to his verbal words.

He replied on both levels, “I do.”

Yusuke held his gaze a long time and both forgot where they were for that moment. He leaned in and brushed his lips against Kurama’s, “You’re amazing.”

Kurama smiled and returned the kiss, “So are you.” It was then the sound of someone else breathing in the room reached his ears again and he drew back, his cheeks pink. He saw Yusuke’s face color as they both turned again and almost looked at Yuki.

The counselor smiled, though neither boy really saw it, “You two are doing well. I think for today we’ve covered enough ground. I think, also, that unless things change for the worse, we can move to every other week, Yusuke. If you would join us, Kurama, that would be helpful.”

Kurama nodded, “Yes, of course.”

Yuki stood and the two followed suit, “Okay, then, in two weeks.” He led them out of the office and rested his hand on the door that led out into the hall. “I don’t think I need to tell you two to take things slowly. What I will say is that you need to listen to yourselves, listen to that voice in your head that tells you if something is okay or if you need to stop. That is a better guide than anything I could say.”

Yusuke and Kurama both nodded and walked silently to the elevator. When the doors closed, Yusuke spoke, “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Neither did I. I’ve never marked or been marked before. I heard it was possible.” Kurama looked at Yusuke, “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

Yusuke grinned and shook his head, “Nah. I could feel that you meant it, that you really do trust me. I also know you well enough to know you don’t trust many people.” He sobered, “You really want me to…?” He blushed and made vague hand gestures.

“I see no reason why not. I also see no reason not to switch places if we want to.”

Yusuke blushed more, “Switch? I thought that if…” again, his voice trailed off.

Kurama was torn between laughter and wanting to reassure Yusuke. “I see no reason not to switch, Yusuke. If you want to top me, then I’d like that. If you want me to top you, then I’d like that.”

“Top?” Yusuke asked, though the color in his cheeks suggested he knew what the word meant.

“Penetrate, Yusuke. If you want to penetrate me, then I’m open to the idea.”

This comment drew a laugh from the brunet. “I hadn’t thought you’d do the word play.”

“I like to play, Yusuke.” He sighed, “But, I don’t think we’re quite ready for more than word play at the moment.”

Yusuke hit the stop button on the elevator, “I want…I want to return your mark, Kurama. I want to mark you.”

The redhead’s eyebrows rose, “Here, now?”

“Yeah, here, now. The elevator can be held for half an hour before anyone complains about it.” He walked over to Kurama, “I need this, Kurama. I need to be able to feel you the way you can feel me. I need to know if I push you too hard.” He leaned against the redhead, “I want it, too. I want to be able to feel your energy when I want, I want to whisper to you so that no one else can hear. I want to, Kurama.” He pressed his lips against Kurama’s, his hand slipping behind the redhead’s neck. He pulled back enough to look into the surprised green eyes, “I love you.”

Kurama felt as if his breath were stolen from him, “Yusuke.” He had to wrap his arms around the brunet’s waist to stay standing.

Yusuke took advantage of Kurama’s inability to speak to kiss him again, this time reaching out with his ki. Kurama recovered enough to reach out and welcome Yusuke. As their energy merged, lips parted and tongues sought each other out, hands pulled bodies closer, groans rose to be swallowed in the other’s mouth. They both slid to their knees as Kurama’s body shifted though neither noticed the change.

Slowly, they separated, eyes still closed panting, their foreheads resting against each other. Yusuke breathed out, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Kurama replied, both of their eyes opening at the deeper sound of his voice.

Yusuke pulled back a little, “Youko?”

“I still am me, Yusuke.” He caressed the brunet’s cheek, a soft smile on his lips, “You are amazing.”

Yusuke leaned into Kurama’s hand, his eyes meeting the gold ones across from him, “So are you.” He wrapped his ki around the kitsune’s, exploring it as Kurama had done with his. His face held an expression of wonderment as he took in everything he could about Kurama.

Kurama’s hand slid from Yusuke’s waist to cup his ass and the brunet tensed. Kurama paused, “Yusuke?” He felt Yusuke’s energy pulling back from him.

“I haven’t…I haven’t been able to touch myself…since…” Yusuke looked away from the kitsune

Kurama allowed his energy to slip back, for his redheaded self to reemerge. “Have you talked to Yuki about that?” he asked as he moved his hand from Yusuke’s ass to his knee. The brunet shook his head without looking at the redhead. “Yusuke, please, look at me.” When the brown eyes met his, he asked as gently as he could, “What have you thought about when you’ve tried to masturbate?”

“Nothing,” Yusuke answered, the word barely leaving his mouth. “I stopped trying after a while.”

Kurama brought his hand up to caress Yusuke’s cheek, “I love you, more than I can say, and I want to be with you, Yusuke, but until you can touch yourself, we can’t go any farther.”

Yusuke looked ready to argue, but when Kurama raised and eyebrow at him, he wilted a little, “You’re right.” He took a deep breath, “Where do I start? How do I start?”

Kurama thought a moment, his hand dropping to his lap, “Can you look at yourself?” When Yusuke hesitated, he continued, “Start there. Start with looking at yourself in a mirror.” He smiled, “You can draw on me, now. If you need my help, all you have to do is reach out for me.”

Yusuke reached out with his ki and Kurama welcomed him, feeling the brunet’s ill ease with his own body. He wondered how he missed it before and began to berate himself. “Stop that,” Yusuke whispered, reinforcing his command with his ki. “I could block you before. I can’t now. And you weren’t pushing before. It never came up, so you wouldn’t have known.”

“Pushing?” Kurama asked.

“I want you to push, Kurama. I want…I want…” his words trailed off, unable to think of a way to phrase what he wanted.

The redhead reached out again to Yusuke, sliding his hand behind the brunet’s neck and pulling him in. Their lips met with no hesitation, Kurama taking control of the kiss from the beginning. Yusuke startled at first, his hands going to the wall of the elevator behind Kurama before he relaxed and embraced the redhead. When the brunet relaxed, Kurama slipped his tongue past the barrier of their lips and slowly explored Yusuke’s mouth, seeking places that would draw groans from him before caressing Yusuke’s tongue. The brunet melted into their kiss and Kurama let his hands wander lower, caressing Yusuke’s back while their mouths remained joined. His hands reached the brunet’s waistband and he paused, waiting. Yusuke pressed deeper into their kiss and he let his hands wander lower. He could feel the fight in Yusuke’s body to remain relaxed while he wanted to pull away. He rubbed the brunet’s ass gently, feeling the boy relax under his touch, truly relax, before he slid his hands back up to his waist and broke their kiss, both of them panting harshly. “That’s enough for today,” Kurama panted out, his voice almost harsh.

Yusuke nodded but anything he would have said was cut off by a harsh buzzing sound from the elevator intercom. He pulled a face while scrambling to his feet and pushed the button that allowed him to talk to the operator. “I’m sorry, rough day.” He pushed the button that released the hold and the elevator began moving. Kurama stood, his hands brushing down the front of his uniform. He was glad the jacket was long enough to fall to his hips. He watched as Yusuke stuffed his fists into his pants, not missing the fact that the brunet was obviously aroused. He looked down to hide a small grin at this. When the door to the elevator opened, he had schooled his face into a pleasantly neutral mask again and Yusuke walked out like he owned the building, ignoring the irritated people waiting for the elevator. Kurama bowed an apology and quickly followed.

They arrived home the same time Shiori did. She had a couple of boxes of take out pizza with her and she began to apologize when they saw her, “I have to go back into work for a while longer, but I wanted to make sure you had something to eat.”

Yusuke took the boxes from her, “I hope it wasn’t my fault.”

“No, this came up after I got back to the office. It’s not your fault. I would have had to stay even if I didn’t go. And, there’s no way I wouldn’t have gone this afternoon, Yusuke.” She reached out and pulled him into a quick hug. She stepped away from him and hugged Kurama, “I’m not sure when I’ll be home. Behave.”

“Yes, Mother. Yusuke was going home after we ate and I have homework to work on.”

“Yeah, I have things to work on at home,” Yusuke added.

Shiori nodded, “Okay. I need to get back. Have a good night, boys.”

They waved as she left and went into the house. Silently, they ate a few pieces of pizza before putting the boxes into the refrigerator. For a long moment, they stood staring at each other in the hallway. “I love you,” Yusuke finally whispered, stepping closer to Kurama.

Kurama wrapped his arms around the brunet, “I love you, too. I’m here, whenever you need me, whenever you want me.”

Yusuke sighed and rested his head on Kurama’s shoulder, “I know.” They stood together a while before Yusuke lifted his head and brushed his lips against Kurama’s. “I’ll see you later.”

Kurama returned the kiss in kind, “Later, my love.”