And the Father Is...

Hi everyone!!!

I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while, but I just got done this chapter and had to post it!!! Now this chapter tells you what happened...but most likely it will gross you out ^^; so just a warning for those who are weak stomached hahaha ^^; This is a bit longer then the other chapters, which I know you all will love; not to mention its not a cliffy! Well...it is, but not like an EVIL cliffy hahaha.

Now there are some things that refer to history but it's a made up past hahaha, also I had to study the reproduction system of a male an woman when I used to study Psychology ^^; I still have the book....somewhere, I couldn't find it, but when Koenma talks about how it is possible to create a baby, that is actually the only way you can do it! ^^; I think that's why I know how to write lemons somewhat ^^; because the book also said how many orgasims guys have and same with girls ^^; ok I'll stop there hahaha.

Anyway, this chapter states half the truth about who the father is! Now just keep that in mind! Also, because it reveals HOW it happened, you might go and think: DUH! She told me that EVER little thing was important ^^; hahaha so yup you might hit your self and then puke after this...depends. But I thought that a girl could probably get preggy this way too ^^; so just something you should think about the next time you...well, you'll find out ^_~.

ENJOY!!


PS. I'm sorry if they get out of character at times ^^; I couldn't help it!! This is a comedy after all ^^; Ok now after that and the warning that it will get gross at one point, please enjoy with the knowledge that YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!


Disclaimer: See Chapter One

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Chapter 6: And All Hell Broke Loose!

Ogers were running in and out, back and forth, some in circles. Genkai sighed, but not without having a faint smile on her lips.

‘Hasn’t changed much since the last time I was here.’ She thought as Botan escorted her threw the chaotic mess and to Koenma’s office.

Botan knocked on the two giant doors, before they opened to reveal a separate room attached to the stock market like one. The deity of death and the old master walked in as the door closed behind them. Botan bowed as Genkai gave a bow with her head.

There was nothing really special about this room. It only had a desk with piles of papers on it, four chairs in front of it, and a comfy, though an occupied chair, behind it. Everything seemed to be formulated around that desk.

At that desk, there sat a teenage Koenma. After the Sensui incident almost six years ago, Koenma had decided that he should remain in his teenage form. His father didn’t mind too much, for the fact he had respected how much his son grown into a young man; meaning he had earned the right to stay in his teenage form.

Koenma heard the door close and smiled as he stood up, walking over to the two.

“Genkai! It’s been what? Ages since you came here.”

“Seems like it doesn’t it? Last time I was here you were still in your toddler form.”

Koenma chuckled.

“Well, I felt I needed a change. I was a toddler for what; 20,000 some years? I think I deserved an upgrade.”
They laughed at that.

“Well I think it suits you Koenma-sama.” said Botan, a tint of pink on her cheeks.

Koenma smiled at her with a slight pink on his own that didn’t go un-noticed by the old master.

‘It’s about time they show some feelings for each other.’ thought Genkai as she glanced back and forth between them.

Genkai cleared her throat, which snapped the two ‘love birds’ out of their little blush fest.

“Ahem, right.” Koenma said turning to Genkai. “This is a business visit, about one of my ex-volunteer detectives; Kuwabara.”

Koenma turned back to his desk, and pushed a side his piles of papers so he could look at both Genkai and Botan, who both sat in one of the chairs.

“Now, after a bit of some negotiation with my father, I was able to get the tape of what happened at Yusuke’s birthday party. I’ve already watched the tape…” Koenma said, looking Genkai in the eyes. “And it’s just as we feared.”

Genkai sighed, wishing she had a cigarette at this moment.

“This is what I was afraid of. Do we know who was in there before he was?” Genkai asked.

Botan looked at the two.

“In where? What happened at Yusuke’s party?” Botan asked, never knowing the reason Koenma had sent her to retrieve Genkai.

“Kuwabara got preggy by a demon that we know…a very possessive one at that.” sighed Koenma.

Genkai felt her breath hitch in her throat.

‘So she was right…’ Genkai thought. ‘That girl’s precognition has grown stronger over these past three years.’

Botan blinked, not able to comprehend what was going on.

“Kuwa-chan is preggy? How?” Botan asked.

Koenma sighed.

“It’s a method that hasn’t been seen since the late baby boomers period in the 1950’s. People say it was because of after all the males came home from war they all got ‘jiggy with it’ as Will Smith would have called it.” Koenma said. (Disclaimer on Will Smith and his song 'Gettin' Jiggy With It')

“However, something like EVERYONE getting pregnant all at once is a little far fetched, especially how a baby is born. A woman would have to be with a guy at the point right before her ‘cycle’ started, for her to conceive a child. Or in laymen’s terms, right before a girl gets their period, a guy who wanted kids would have to have sex with her right then, when her….” Koenma was never able to finish when Botan stood up, her face red as a tomato and looking a bit pissy.

“Koenma-sama!!! You’re just as bad as Yusuke, if not worse!” she shouted. “That’s something private!”

“We’re all adults here Botan, or so I thought.”

Botan’s eyes flashed red, which scared Koenma, before she turned around and stormed out.

Koenma sat in his chair with a huge sweat drop on his forehead, not to mention a migraine.

“Ummm ok…well.” Koenma started again. “Right then, well I don’t need to explain how a female reproductive organ works so I’ll skip that part. The reason for all those babies born that fast was because of something that was named as ‘Birth Through Other Means’, or also known as BTOM.”

“A nicer way to say they got kids from the same way you can get STDs.” said Genkai.

“Basically.” Koenma said.

He took out a remote control from under his desk and pushed a button. An over sized television screen appearing behind Genkai.

“I watched the video before you came in, wanting to make sure our suspicions weren’t true…” Koenma said with a sigh. “But it looks like we were both right.”

Koenma pushed a button and on the screen was an over head view of the party. Koenma pushed a few more buttons so they focused on a particular door. They didn’t have to wait too long until a familiar haired demon by the name of Yusuke Urameshi stumbled up to the door and entered it, giggling a bit. This earned a snicker from both his former master and his former employer.

It wasn’t even five minutes that Yusuke emerged from the room looking a little more then satisfied, not to mention sober. The video didn’t follow the demon, but stayed focused on the door. They didn’t have to wait too long before a familiar copper headed human rushed into the room, slamming the door and locking it behind him. Koenma pushed another button and it fast forward to 20 minutes later, when Kuwabara came out of the bathroom, looking relieved. This was when Koenma stopped the tape.

Genkai gave a sigh.

“What are we going to do?” she asked.

“I don’t know. He deserves to know he is the father, but you know Yusuke, he is already over protective as it is. If he found out Kuwabara was carrying his kid…well, he might become deadly.” Koenma said.

“Yes, it might be better to not tell him at all that he is the father. We could tell him that anyone could be the father, and just tell them how it happened.” Genkai suggested.

Koenma sat back in his chair and thought about what Genkai had said. He nodded.

“Yes, that could work.” Koenma said.

They sat in silence for a little while, before a shuffle outside the door caught their attention.

“DAMN IT UAMESHI, WE COULD HAVE WAITED FOR HER TO COME BACK AND GET US!”

Koenma and Genkai froze in their seats.

“…shit.” mumbled Koenma.

“THEY KNOW SOMETHING AND DON’T WANNA TELL US, I WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT IS!”

He almost dropped the remote as he turned the TV off.

“SO WHAT IF THEY KNOW, IT’S NOT LIKE THAT’S ANYTHING NEW! JUST LET IT BE URAMESHI. FOR ENMA’S SAKE, I SHOULD BE THE ONE FREAKIN’ OUT NOT YOU!”

“AND THAT’S WHY I NEED TO DO THIS, FOR YOU, YA IDIOT!”

Just then, the door slammed opened, and in stomped a pissy Yusuke, followed by a worried and stressed Kuwabara.

“Genkai, why in the seven HELLS did you lock Kuwabara in his room, and why did you go see pacifier breathe with out us!” hissed Yusuke.

Yusuke felt like he was having one of Keiko’s PMS days. He was pissed when he woke up and found no Genkai. His pissed off feeling went to full blast when he got worried and decided to check on Kuwabara and found his door locked. It took only five seconds for him to solve that problem, making a new one in the door itself. That had woken Kuwabara up and he wasn’t too happy. Then Kuwabara had to throw up for another hour, and when Yusuke called Botan, she was being in a bitchy mood and saying something about Koenma and him should hang out together. And now she finds Genkai and Koenma sitting like they were forming a plan. It was just an all around sucky day, and he was in an all around pissy mood.

Koenma composed himself and stood up.

“Well, hello to you too Yusuke.” Koenma said.

“Don’t give me that innocent crap, Koenma! I know you and grandma over here know something you don’t wanna tell me. You better start tellin’ me what that is before I have to shove that pacifier six feet down yer throat!” growled Yusuke.

Koenma visibly gulped, but snapped out of it and composed himself…again.

“We were about to get you and Kuwabara. Why don’t you sit down first?” Koenma said gesturing to the extra three chairs.

“I bet you were.” hissed Yusuke.

“Calm down Urameshi, geeze, he just said that he was gonna get us, so just chill already.” Kuwabara said before sitting down.

Kuwabara was worried. He understood why Yusuke was acting the way he was, but unlike his friend, he was able to keep calm. He figured there wasn’t anything he could do about it. What happened had happened and no matter how much he wanted to yell and scream, it wouldn’t help.

Yusuke noticed how calm his best friend was and gave a defeated sigh. He sat down, which made Koenma give a sigh of relief, before sitting down.

“Before the two of you came in, or rather Yusuke barging in.” Koenma started, earning a glare from Yusuke. “Genkai and I were discussing how to tell you the situation.”

“So how did it happen, Koenma, and who did it? Who’s my baby’s dad?” Kuwabara asked, looking Koenma dead in his brown eyes.

“Yeah, and don’t lie to us.” said Yusuke.

Koenma sighed.

“We don’t know who could have done it; with the way it was done anyone at that party could be the father.” Koenma said.

“How?” Kuwabara asked.

“After you had that drink, you went to the bathroom right?” Koenma asked.

Kuwabara looked surprised at the demi-god.

“Yeah, for like a half an hour or so. But I didn’t tell anybody that, not even Urameshi.”

“Did you feel something weird on the seat when you sat down?” Genkai asked.

Kuwabara turned to the old woman.

“What does that have to do with Kuwabara being preggy?” asked an impatient Yusuke.

“Everything, you dimwit, now shut up before I have to lock YOU in your room next time.” Genkai said.

“Pfff I’d break out.”

“With a ward on it?” Genkai said.

Yusuke was about to open his mouth but hesitated. He remembered seeing one of the many demons that lived in the woods around her estate try to go past one of her wards and they were fried like a breaded chicken in grease. After asking Genkai about the ward, he learned that the ward used one’s strength against them; the stronger they were the more damage it would inflict.

Yusuke huffed and crossed his arms, with a glare. Genkai had a smirk on her face.

‘Finally, that shut him up.’ She thought.

Meanwhile, Kuwabara ignored Yusuke to think about the question.

“I do remember being grossed out by finding something on the seat. But I got up and wiped it off and then sat back down…why? What did I sit it?” Kuwabara asked having a bad feeling he wouldn’t like what he heard.

“I’m afraid you sat in a demon’s…semen…” Koenma said.

Everyone was silent.

“You mean to tell me I sat in…in a demon’s…ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!” Kuwabara said his face turning green.

“Can that even happen?!” Yusuke asked, shocked that sitting in another guy’s semen could get a guy preggy.

“Only with that drink Kuwabara drank.” Koenma said.

“I think I’m gonna hurl.” Kuwabara said, holding his stomach.

“But who was it?” Yusuke asked, still in shock that something like that could happen. “I mean…that’s just the grossest way I can think of to get preggy…but I mean who was it?”

“We’re not sure. It could have been anyone in that room who went to the bathroom and…well…jerked off at the toilet…” Koenma said.

Yusuke paled. He remembered after seeing Kuwabara he had headed towards the bathroom. However, everything after that was a bit fuzzy. He was drunk after all, and it wasn’t until after he was done that he could remember things better.

‘Was it me?’ Yusuke thought. ‘Is Kuwa…is he carrying MY baby?’

He turned to the guy and saw he was a little better, but still had a tint of green in his face.

‘Naw…I mean if I was I would have known, being a demon and all…right?’

“I know this might be a bit…strange for you, Kuwabara, but once the baby is born we will find the father and tell him.” Genkai said.

‘Or he’ll find us after seeing that child. May Enma help us if he turns out to not only look but act like Yusuke.’ Genkai thought.

Kuwabara sighed. It was all too much to take in. He couldn’t believe the same way someone can get STDs and other sexual transmitted diseases, which you can get by sitting on a public bathroom, gave him a baby; and it was his best friend’s toilet not some strange one he didn’t know who did what on.

‘This is gonna be one hellofa nine months…’ Kuwabara thought.

It was at this moment the doors to the room opened, catching everyone’s attention.

“Excuse me Koenma, but Hiei and I….were…wondering….if…Yusuke? Kuwabara?” said the familiar red head and green eyed fox.

Both Kuwabara and Yusuke stood up out of their seats and turned towards the door, Kuwabara knocking his chair over as he did. In the door way, was a surprised Kurama, and a surprised yet messed up Hiei. He had hives all over his body and he looked like one big blister. Kuwabara had to cover his mouth in order to keep himself from bursting out in laughter.

Hiei’s eyes blazed at Yusuke. Yusuke laughed nervously and waved at the two.

“Oh…hehe hi guys. Man Hiei what happened to you?” Yusuke said with a silly look.

Hiei’s eyes turned redder at the question, and he advanced towards the former spirit detective.

“You know perfectly well what happened Detective.” Hissed Hiei, reaching for his katanna.

Yusuke ‘eeped’ and hid behind Kuwabara, peeking out from behind his back.

Hiei snickered.

“You think THAT would stop me?” he said, taking out his katanna and getting ready to run the two of them threw.

“YOU WOULDN’T HURT A PREGGY PERSON WOULD YOU?!” shouted a desperate Yusuke.

A clank of metal hitting the floor was the only sound heard; when Hiei dropped his katanna; his eyes wide.

Kuwabara was stunned but snapped out of it to growl.

“Damn it Urameshi! Can’t you keep it a secret!”

“Well I’m sorry, but Hiei’s scary when he’s pissed off!” said Yusuke in his defense.

In the doorway stood a stunned Kurama.

“Yusuke…but…I…we thought you were straight? How can you be preggy?” Kurama asked.

Yusuke and Kuwabara both sweat dropped at the fox’s statement.

“Not me, him!” Yusuke said pointing to Kuwabara. “You think I’d let anyone stick it to me?”

There was another long pause, before Kuwabara turned around and grabbed his best friend by his collar.

“YOU IDIOT!! You weren’t supposed to tell them! That’s why you avoided them all day yesterday, don’t ya remember that?!” Kuwabara shouted.

Before Yusuke could say another word, a thud was heard. Everyone turned to find that Hiei had passed out. Everyone sweat dropped at this.

Genkai sighed.

“I need a drink.” She said, shaking her head.

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HAHAHHAHA!! Now isn't THAT original? I hope some of you guys were able to read up to this part ^^; Anyway, I hope I still am able to keep you guys as readers even with that ^^; and trust me...Kuwa's gonna have on HELL of a pregnacy! Also, think about something that is suppose to happen every three years at the end of the series and you'll have a clue where I'm heading with this ^_~.

Ok please read and review!!! Later!!