Behind Closed Doors

The next several months followed a similar pattern. At least once a week, usually the night before his counseling appointments, Yusuke would call Kurama and ask him to stay the night. They’d work on homework and Yusuke would cook. His meals became more elaborate and creative and he would on occasion allow Kurama to help, but he took great pleasure in doing something for his friend. They would sleep side by side, usually Yusuke nestled into Kurama’s body. At first, the calls were because Yusuke had seen Hiei and the koorime had made some smart remark, but those remarks held less and less sway over the brunet and the calls were more about wanting the redhead’s company.

They did their homework together almost daily, either at Kurama’s house or the park. Though Yusuke got more homework done, it doesn’t follow that more of it got turned in. He still tended to skip classes, but when he was in class, his grades improved. On weekend afternoons, they’d watch movies with Shiori, usually old black and white films that they’d spend the rest of the afternoon discussing. Sometimes, Shiori would have to work and Yusuke and Kurama would watch newer movies or ones that Shiori didn’t enjoy as much.

One such afternoon, Shiori came home to find Kurama asleep with his head in Yusuke’s lap as the brunet played with his hair. She paused in the doorway, “I knew you were more than friends. I never asked him. How much more?” Her voice was quiet, not wanting to wake Kurama, though her face was pale.

Yusuke looked up, “He loves me.”

Shiori moved carefully to her chair, “And, do you love him?”

Yusuke looked down at the redhead in his lap and then back at Shiori, “He’s showing me how to.”

Shiori frowned a little, “That doesn’t really answer my question, Yusuke.”

Yusuke met her gaze, “I am learning how to love him.” Before she could continue, “I want to love him and he is showing me what that means.”

She sat back in her chair, looking at her son as he continued to sleep and at Yusuke as he continued to gently comb his fingers through Kurama’s hair. They seemed so peaceful together, but she had heard them fight at times, over homework, over Hiei, who she knew was Yusuke’s ex. She knew Kurama was happy with Yusuke, truly happy. The thought that her son loved another boy did bother her, but in the face of his happiness, she was struggling to accept it. She liked Yusuke, she liked his honesty. So, she returned his honesty, “I’m not completely thrilled with my son being in love with another boy. But, I know you make him happy.” She took a deep breath, “Are you two taking precautions?”

Yusuke frowned a moment before blinking in realization at what she meant, “We’re not doing anything that would require precautions.”

Shiori seemed to relax and tense at the same time, “If you do, promise me that you will.”

Yusuke gave her a look that clearly said he didn’t quite understand, “We will, I promise.”

Shiori stood, “I don’t feel like cooking. I’ll be back in a little bit. Wake him, we’ll eat when I get back.” She left quickly, seeming somehow comforted and uncomfortable with the conversation.

When she was out the door, Kurama sighed, “I am awake.”

“How much did you hear?”

“All of it.” He sighed, “I do like it when you play with my hair, you know.”

“I know,” Yusuke smiled as he continued to finger the bright red strands. “You never told her about loving me?” his voice was a little pained.

“She didn’t ask and it did seem to bother her. She seemed okay with the idea that we were friends, but not ready for the idea that I love you, so I let her have her belief.” He pushed himself up from Yusuke’s lap, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. You didn’t lie, you just didn’t tell her.”

“An unfortunate circumstance with many things and my mother. I love her dearly, but there are things about me that would destroy her and must be kept from her.”

“Is your love for me one of them?” Yusuke’s voice was defensive.

“No. She’s seen everything we do to each other. She never asked me about it, so I didn’t tell her any more.”

“So, if no one asks, they don’t need to know?” there was something sharp in Yusuke’s voice that Kurama couldn’t quite puzzle out.

Kurama blinked, “Yusuke, I don’t understand the question. I want to understand, but I don’t. Why are you upset with me? I admit I probably should have talked with my mother earlier and I’m sorry she got to you first.”

“It’s not that, Kurama, it’s not that.”

“What is it, Yusuke?” Kurama’s voice was gentle and he reached out to touch Yusuke’s hair.

The brunet collapsed into Kurama’s chest, “I want to be held so close, Kurama. I want to be held.”

Confused, Kurama pulled Yusuke into his lap, “Then I’ll hold you, Yusuke.” He reached out to Yusuke with his ki. The brunet was feeling isolated, lonely even in Kurama’s arms. Kurama wrapped Yusuke’s ki in his own, trying to comfort him.

“Y’know, this is the first time you’ve reached out for me that way without Hiei some how prompting it.” Yusuke seemed to wrap himself in Kurama’s ki and body as if they were blankets, pulling them around himself to keep out the cold.

His comment gave Kurama pause, “I’m so sorry, Yusuke. I’ve been so worried about not pushing you into anything that I haven’t been paying attention to what you need.” He kissed the top of Yusuke’s head, “And you’re so kind to me.”

Yusuke snorted, “Kind?”

Kurama cuddled Yusuke closer to his chest, “Yes, kind. You let me sleep with my head in your lap, you cook when I go to your place. You do a lot for me. I should show you more often that I appreciate you.”

Yusuke wriggled a little so he could look into Kurama’s face. “You can be a little less careful now, you know,” his voice was darker as he leaned in and brushed his lips against the redhead’s. “I won’t break any more.” Yusuke brought his hand up and held Kurama’s cheek as he pressed their lips together much more firmly than the fleeting kisses they’d shared before. Kurama allowed his eyes to close as his arms pulled Yusuke’s body closer, one staying around the brunet’s waist, the other sliding up to hold his head. Lips explored each other tenderly, small noises of pleasure rising from both throats before they languidly separated. “I’d like you to join me in counseling with Yuki this week. He said to ask you when I was ready so that we could work on our relationship.”

“I’d be honored to, Yusuke. I love you.”

Yusuke leaned against Kurama’s shoulder, “I know.”

A small noise by the doorway caused them both to turn. Shiori was standing there, a look somewhere between shock and relief on her face. When she saw them turn, she began apologizing, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to watch…but, what you just said, that…that helps a lot. I’m so sorry.”

Yusuke stood from Kurama’s lap, not scrambling, but quickly. He bowed to Shiori, “I’m sorry. You’ve been so kind to me and I knew you were uncomfortable, and I still did this. I’m sorry I’ve embarrassed you.” He continued to look at the floor, “I wanted to ask Kurama to join me in counseling and the moment just felt right to kiss him. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable, ma’am.” He made a move to leave when Shiori stopped him.

“No, don’t leave, Yusuke. It’s not your fault. I understand that,” her eyes searched the walls and floor for something. “I understand that sometimes you need to express yourself. What makes it…” She finally managed to look at Yusuke again, “What makes it okay is that you want to work on your relationship. I don’t understand, and…and that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you two are happy.” She smiled, and though it was hazy around the edges, they could see she meant it, “I want you both to be happy. I do like you, Yusuke. And, even though I knew you two were more than friends, I told myself you weren’t. It’s my fault and I’m…it’s going to take me a little time, okay?”

“I am sorry, Mother. We’ll be more discrete.” Kurama had moved to stand behind Yusuke during his mother’s ramble. He looked truly penitent. He hadn’t wanted to cause her any pain, nor any more pain for Yusuke.

Shiori pulled a wry face, “I’ll accept your apology if you accept mine.” She sighed, “I didn’t mean to make you feel badly. I am…I want to be happy for you.” She walked over to Yusuke and laid her hand on his arm, “I want you to be happy, Yusuke. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much.”

Yusuke smiled, “A little, yeah. But, it’s okay.” He shifted, shuffling his feet, “Would you come with us, too?”

Shiori nodded, “I will. I don’t want…I want you two to be happy.” She hugged Yusuke. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Yusuke returned the hug, “Don’t be. You’ve been wonderful, letting me be here so much, letting Kurama come over to my place so much. Thank you.”

Shiori stepped away from Yusuke to hug Kurama, “My son, you are the soul of discretion. I trust you to…I believe you have learned what…I love you and I trust you.”

Kurama hugged her back, “I know, Mother. I have learned what you have tried to teach me. This…this was the first time he’s kissed me like that.”

“You really aren’t…together that way?” she asked, though her expression looked as if she’d rather not.

“No, we’re not, Mother. You’ve seen what there is to our relationship as it is now.”

She pulled away and nodded, “Let’s eat.” She needed the break from the subject.

They ate silently, but the silence was not the comfortable one they were accustomed to. There was a strained undercurrent. Not enough to distract from the meal, but enough to be noticeable.

When they were finished, Yusuke stood, “My appointment is tomorrow at four thirty. Yuki’s going on vacation, so it was moved up. I’ll go home now.” He ran his hands down his pants, “I…I’m not really sorry, ma’am. I care a lot about Shuichi, I really do. I do hope we didn’t upset you too much. You’ve been so kind to me and I really do appreciate it, but I can’t be sorry for how I feel.”

Shiori nodded, “I understand. You are still more than welcome here, Yusuke. I don’t want to hurt you more than you have been. I just need to get used to things and, well, deal with my own issues, too.”

Kurama stood from the table, “I’ll walk him home and be back.”

As they were leaving, Shiori called after them, “I will be there tomorrow, Yusuke.”

Yusuke turned over his shoulder and smiled, “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

They left together and walked in silence. Kurama allowed himself to become aware of Yusuke, allowed his ki to feel the brunet’s. He hadn’t allowed this to help maintain his role as friend and comforter. He had only allowed his energy to embrace Yusuke’s without reading the brunet’s. He was surprised at the changes he’d missed. Yusuke’s aura was strong again, almost pulsing with vitality. He no longer carried a death wish, nor was he apathetic. He wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted, but he was confident he’d figure it out and he’d be able to get it. Kurama was so caught up in his explorations that it startled him when Yusuke spoke, “It’s about time you looked.”

“You changed our relationship. I didn’t feel I had the right to look before.”

“That’s part of the reason you do have the right.”

“You mean you’re just now getting around to that,” a snide voice asked from the tree they were walking under as they cut through a nearly deserted park.

Kurama bristled and glared into the tree, but Yusuke laid a hand on the redhead’s wrist, “It’s okay. I’ll take care of this.” Kurama nodded, relaxing only a little. Yusuke called up into the tree, “Hiei, will you please come down?”

Hiei lit on the ground in front of Yusuke. He’d been avoiding Kurama, knowing that the redhead wouldn’t hesitate to do something to him without the brunet around. He didn’t know that Yusuke had asked Kurama to do nothing, though. He also didn’t know that his taunts to Yusuke were having less effect since the redhead so frequently was with Yusuke, so he was confident he could still best the brunet. Yusuke stepped closer to the tree and Kurama moved to stand next to him.

“So, he still hasn’t taken his full claim? I’m surprised, frankly,” Hiei’s voice was snide and Kurama had to bite his tongue to keep from making comments.

Yusuke leaned against the trunk of the tree, “You know, I seem to remember someone who got pissed at such a lack of honor.” He looked up into the tree, “I remember that person rather impressing me with his own honor code. I wonder what happened to him?” Through this, he didn’t look at Hiei and his body remained relaxed. Kurama wanted to smile, wanted to smirk. He was watching Hiei as Yusuke’s words worked their way into his mind. “I kinda miss that person, y’know. I liked him a lot.” His eyes finally came down to look at Hiei, “Do you know what happened to him? I’d like him back.” Hiei’s eyes flicked to Kurama and Yusuke’s voice came sharply, “He has nothing to do with this. This is between you and me, Hiei. These are my words, not his. He and I have not discussed how I feel about you aside from me telling him that I still have feelings for you. Or for who you were. Or maybe it’s who I thought you were. I remember, Hiei, do you, when we were in the Maze Castle and you got pissed at Seiryu? Do you remember why you were pissed at him?” Yusuke waited, but Hiei only glared at him. “I’d like an answer, Hiei.”

“He acted without honor.” The answer sounded as if it were pulled forcefully from between his teeth.

Yusuke smiled, “That’s what I thought it was. Here’s the deal, Hiei, and it’s the only one you get. Find your honor code again. I don’t like this bastard you’ve been. I want my friend back.”

“How is that a deal?”

Yusuke smiled serenely, “If I refuse to work with you, then Koenma has to figure out some other parole for you, or he may just decide you’re too much of a problem and lock you up.”

“The kitsune has influenced you,” Hiei stated flatly.

Yusuke shrugged, “Well, he’s been helping me study for school for months now. It’d be pretty sad if I hadn’t picked up something.”

Softly, his voice holding nothing of what he felt, Kurama spoke up, “This person who tried to hurt Yusuke is not the person I joined with, either. If it is possible, I would like that person to come back.”

“That person still wanted to be the best, the strongest,” Hiei countered.

“That person would know that the stunt you pulled would not make him the best or the strongest, but foul.” Kurama brushed his hand against Yusuke’s as he stepped in front of the brunet, “That person would not play as dirty as the person before me has. If that person, the one we knew, can return, then perhaps we can work on our friendship.”

“And if not?” Hiei asked, his voice still defiant.

“Hiei,” Kurama’s voice was pleasant, “you joined with me to avoid fighting me, to avoid being my enemy. That is the ‘if not’.” Gold flashed through his eyes.

Yusuke stepped up behind Kurama and put his hand on the small of the redhead’s back, “It takes a stronger man to make friends than to pull dirty stunts, Hiei. We’ve given you your choice. Get your head on straight or you are our enemy.”

Hiei shifted uncomfortably before the two. He didn’t like that his conscience was pricking him. It had been most of the time he’d been with Yusuke, but he’d been able to ignore it. Now it was too loud for him to ignore. He glared at both of them, but the expression lacked effect with guilt in his eyes. “You’ve made your point.”

Yusuke’s voice was conversational, “We don’t hate you, Hiei. I would still like to be your friend. You do have a lot of good traits.”

Hiei looked at Yusuke as if the brunet had lost his mind, even though he was somewhat relieved at his words. After a moment of standing silently, he nodded, though his expression wasn’t pleased, “It seems you have beaten me again, detective.” His tone just missed making the word an insult. He left in a sudden burst of speed.

When they were sure Hiei wouldn’t come back, Yusuke murmured, “You know what else?”

Kurama turned to look at the brunet over his shoulder. Yusuke’s hand still rested on the small of his back and he didn’t want to loose the contact, “What else?”

“Yuki didn’t have much to do with that, either.” At Kurama’s raised eyebrows, he continued, “We talked about what drew me to Hiei in the first place, but never talked about how to confront him or anything. I still want to be his friend, but I don’t love him anymore.” He drew a shaky breath.

“You did remarkably well, Yusuke. Much better than I think I would have.” Kurama slid his arm around the brunet’s waist, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Walk me home,” Yusuke murmured in a small voice.

Kurama guided Yusuke the rest of the way to his apartment, supporting him physically and with his ki. The brunet drew him as close as possible and he knew how much it’d taken from Yusuke to talk with Hiei, to try and salvage something from the mess that had been made of their relationship. Just inside the door to Yusuke’s apartment, the brunet asked, “Do you think your mother would understand if I needed you to stay tonight?”

“I think if we told her you saw Hiei, she would. I’ll talk to her. I also need to tell her that I go by Kurama since that’s what we told Yuki to call me.”

“Only if you want to. I told him your mother didn’t know about your nickname.”

“You told him a lot,” Kurama remarked.

“I left out a lot, too. But, in order for this counseling thing to work, I had to give it a fair chance and that meant being honest and as thorough as possible. I didn’t mention how we all met or why we still are working together or anything about the Reikai or anything about that stuff. But the relationship stuff, that had to be talked about.”

“I’m not upset, Yusuke. I’m very proud of you.”

“I just want to be held, Kurama. Call your mother, please.” Yusuke moved to the couch. Since Kurama had been visiting on a regular basis, the apartment had been cleaner and Yusuke’s mother had been around less and less. Yusuke didn’t know where she’d gone and didn’t seem upset by it. He almost seemed to adopt Shiori as a mother figure, in a way.

Kurama dialed his home, trying to frame his request in such a way that his mother would understand. She had already had a rough day and he didn’t want to make it any worse, but Yusuke needed him, too. “Mother, I’m sorry,” he began when she answered the phone.

“For what, Shuichi?” she asked, her voice puzzled.

He took a deep breath, “We ran into Hiei on the way to Yusuke’s and there was a confrontation. Yusuke handled it incredibly, but he asked that I keep him company tonight if that’s okay with you?”

“A confrontation?” Shiori’s voice was worried.

“He told Hiei to either act with honor again or to stay away. He handled it very well, he really did, but he just needs a little support now.”

“I’ll bring your uniform and book bag over. Do you need anything else?”

“No, thank you so much.”

“Nothing else?” her voice held more of a question.

Kurama understood what she was implying now. “Mother, we both are in no way ready for needing anything else. I’ll just be staying with him tonight.”

“I’m glad you said that, Shuichi. Not because…” She sighed, “If I try to explain, I’m going to make mistakes.”

“I do understand what you mean, Mother. Thank you for understanding.” They said their farewells and Kurama walked to the couch where Yusuke sat, “She’s bringing over my school things.”

He sat next to Yusuke and the brunet crawled into his lap. They sat in silence, Kurama holding Yusuke, caressing his hair, until there was a knock at the door. Yusuke stood to answer it, gesturing Kurama to stay where he was. Kurama watched the brunet walk over and open the door. His mother’s voice reached his ears, “Here are Shuichi’s things, Yusuke. I’m sorry you had a rough time.”

Yusuke pulled Shiori into the apartment and hugged her, “Thank you so much for accepting me.” He let her go and blushed, his hand going behind his head mumbling, “I’m sorry.”

Shiori’s expression was dazed as she caressed his cheek, “Don’t be sorry.” She bent down and put Kurama’s things on the floor and then held Yusuke’s face between both her hands and kissed his forehead, “You are welcome at my home when you want to be there.” She smiled, “I love you, too, just not in the same way my son loves you.”

Yusuke’s smile was watery, “Thank you.”

Shiori released Yusuke, “You two have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow at Yuki’s office.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Kurama called from the couch.

Shiori waved, “Good night, Shuichi.” She left, closing the door behind her.

Yusuke returned to the couch, retaking his seat in Kurama’s lap, but looking at the redhead this time. Kurama met his gaze and waited for Yusuke to continue. The brunet carefully examined Kurama’s eyes, and then traced his face. Kurama could feel Yusuke’s ki exploring his and continued to wait. Yusuke brought a hand up and slowly traced the line of Kurama’s forehead and eyebrow. Green eyes closed, making himself vulnerable to the brunet’s explorations. Yusuke’s fingers traced the bridge of his nose and then down across his cheek, pushing the locks that normally hung in front of his ears behind them. Kurama’s breath caught in his throat and his lips parted as Yusuke’s fingers traced his jaw. A small moan escaped the redhead’s throat when Yusuke’s fingers traced his lips. His eyes opened slowly after the brunet’s fingers left his skin. Yusuke’s expression was intense as their eyes met again. “You’d let me do whatever I wanted to you?”

“To a point, yes,” Kurama’s voice was thick in his throat.

“A point?” Yusuke asked, his eyes wary.

“You and I both know we’re not ready to go very far right now.”

Yusuke’s grin was wry, “You’re right, we’re not.” He caressed Kurama’s cheek again, leaning in, “But, I do want this before we go to bed.”

He pressed his lips gently against the redhead’s, slowly exploring the delicate skin as his hand slid into Kurama’s hair. Kurama wrapped his arms around Yusuke, one hand at his waist, the other in his hair. Their kiss remained only lips exploring, but it was sampling a fine banquet, small tastes savored, rolled around in their mouths before being swallowed with small noises of pleasure. Languidly, they pulled back, their eyes lazily opening as their bodies hummed. They looked into each other’s eyes a long time before either felt the need to speak. “I love you,” Kurama whispered.

Yusuke’s lips tried to smile, but didn’t quite make it before they returned to their kiss swollen pout. “I know,” he whispered in return.

“Let’s go to bed,” Kurama whispered again, unwilling to speak louder.

“Can’t we sit here a little longer?” Yusuke asked, his voice still equally soft.

“As you like,” Kurama allowed, leaning back a little into the couch. Yusuke leaned against his shoulder, sighing and the two sat in silence so long they fell asleep on the couch.

A/N I'm short on time...but, here it is....