Dark Heart

Yusuke rode home in silence. He didn't talk because even if he did wouldn't be able to string together a coherrent thought. His thoughts rushed through his head like a swarm of bees. Never resting or taking a break.

Yusuke couldn't quite place together what he should feel at the moment.  He knew what he should feel. Disgust and freaked out. But he wasn't quite that mad. He was a little mad, but he was mostly surprised.  He could feel a tinge of happiness trying to break through his emotionless facade. But once again he tried to push it away.

Yusuke felt slightly guilty for walking out on Kurama. But he couldn't help it. For almost a year Yusuke had been having the strange dreams about Kurama. Dreams of being with Kurama. But he always woke up before it could go to far.

After every dream he would feel his creeping lonliness. The thougth of being loved always reminded him of his past lover. He wanted to fill the void Keiko's death left in his heart. Everything was a reminder of her. His home, his memories, even his own friends. Yusuke wanted Kurama but he felt like he would forget Keiko.

"Yusuke."

Kurama's soft voice pulled Yusuke from his thoughts. Yusuke looked over but Kurama was not looking at him.

"We have arrived at your house." Kurama motioned over to Yusuke's house.

Yusuke looked out the window at his house. Still keeping his silence he nodded, got out the car and turned to stare at the house. For some unknown reason he could not bring himself to walk in the house. He decided for now he would just stare.

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Kurama was worried. He knew he had given Yusuke a lot to think about but why had he not gone in the house. Kurama had been sitting in the car watching Yusuke for 10 minutes before Yusuke finally spoke.

"Kurama you can leave. I'm fine." Kurama could not detect what Yusuke was feeling in his voice. This somewhat bothered him.

"You don't seem o.k." Kurama said letting concern slip into his voice as to put Yusuke's mind at ease. "It's not normal for a person to just sit in front of his or her house and stare for no apparent reason for 10 minutes."

After Yusuke had not replied for a moment, Kurama thought he wouldn't answer. He heard Yusuke sigh.

"Your right it's not." Yusuke, feeling like his legs were going to give out, sat down. "But I can't bring myself to go inside."

 

Kurama thought over what he was told. Getting out the car Kurama walked over to Yusuke to check on his friend. He examined Yusuke's face but couldn't even catch a hint at what was wrong with Yusuke.

While Kurama examined his face, Yusuke just stared at him. He really is beautiful, Yusuke thought. Yusuke couldn't help the thoughts that seemed to fly through his mind. Images of him and Kurama together. 

Kurama noticed Yusuke face controting as the emotions rode across his face. Kurama smiled which seemed to snap Yusuke out of his observation.

"Are you enjoying the view?" Kurama hadn't really expected Yusuke to answer but what Yusuke said threw him off.

"Do you really love me?''

At first Kurama didn't know how to responsed. But he wanted to see what Yusuke was thinking. " Yes I really do love you. Why is it that you ask."

Yusuke, once again, stared at Kurama. After about a minute Kurama once again tried to get Yusuke to answer. "Yusuke please tell me whats wrong."

Yusuke turned his head down to hide his eyes. "I'm scared."

Kurama didn't understand. "Yusuke look at me. What are you scared of?"

Yusuke turned his tearful eyes toward Kurama and tried to hold back his current of tears. "Losing Keiko's memory."

Kurama was shocked out of words. Quickly Kurama recovered and bent down to pull Yusuke into a hug. " It's alright Yusuke." Kurama pushed Yusuke back to arms length so he could look at his face. " Keiko knows you loved her. But do you think that she would want you to be misrable after her death. Don't you think she would want you to be happy, knowing shes in a better place? "

Yusuke's mind was so overrun with emotions that he couldn't bring himself to answer. He simply nodded his head and leaned back into Kurama's hold to cry.