Yearnings Of Urameshi

Title: The Pain of Loss

Author: Kimisan/Aoshis_toy

Theme: #23 Black Roses; Red Funeral
#15 First Time

Community: 30_Angsts

Warnings: Yaoi, Angst, Non-con, Char Death??, Anal

Summary: Yusuke finds that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Can he get back what he lost?

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama

*One-shot*

Kurama placed the plate in the sink making sure to get the left over food off before turning around. Green eyes lingered over the slim man leaning against the counter. Trying to smile he listened as Yusuke kept bitching about the recent fight. He really didn’t want to hear how Keiko was being a bitch. The girl didn’t appreciate what she had as far as he was concerned. His eyes lingered over the boyish features. What he wouldn’t give to have the man return his affections, even just a little. Perhaps Hiei was right when he called him a fool. Yusuke had grown up as a human and lived by their standards in most ways. The man would never consider a relationship with him.


On several occasions he’d smelt the former detective’s arousal in his presence. He knew the man was attracted to him. There was just little chance of it being acted upon. Yusuke would stick to his upbringing and stay with the human female. Kurama couldn’t fault him, the girl was pretty and attractive. It was just a waste for Yusuke to be with someone he wasn’t in love with. The two loved each other but all Kurama saw was a strong friendship that they were forcing to be more. It would end one day and the boy would be alone. The fox wasn’t sure how long that would take but would most likely wait for it. He planned on spending the next couple of decades living as a human.


He’d told Yusuke on their first meeting that he’d only planned to stay in his human form until he was strong enough. He’d reached that point during the Sensui case. His spirit was strong enough to leave his human biology behind for good. But he would live out his human life until his mother passed away. The woman was one of the few people that meant a great deal to him. It was cruel to think it but Keiko would only live so long. While him and Yusuke would remain around for centuries. Still, he often wondered if the man had any feelings for him.


Yusuke sighed sensing the man stepping closer to him. His eyes shot open knowing he was getting to close for comfort. Kurama often did it and Yusuke knew the man was testing him. It was putting strain on his nerves having to deal with the unwanted attraction. The only possible reason he could think it would be there is because Kurama was very feminine. He knew he was into females, greatly. And it was only Kurama that was male and he found himself desiring. His dick didn’t get hard while looking at Hiei or Kuwabara. It was only the beautiful fox that stirred the passion.


Kurama smiled when he caught the musky scent. There was no denying the large bulge in the detective’s jeans. The large chocolate eyes were devouring him. The only thing that bothered him was being unaware if it was simply lust or more. If there was nothing but lust there then it could ruin their friendship. He was sure that the man wanted him. Only one way to find out for sure. He’d never gain anything by waiting around. If Keiko and him split then another female might come along. “Yusuke?”


The brown eyes blinked as the redhead closed the distance between them. Yusuke felt the silky lips capture his. The kiss sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine. He was too stunned to move as the fox kissed him softly. Tiny white sparks of heat entered his groin as the pink tongue ran along his bottom lip. The teasing made his mouth open in anticipation. His hand fisted in the pressed shirt pulling the man closer. His mind caved in and returned the heated kiss. It felt wonderful, better than he’d thought it would.


Kurama was elated when the kiss deepened. The man was giving into his desire, letting himself enjoy the touch. The fox brought himself closer, filling the distance. He wasn’t satisfied until his lean form was pressed against the boy’s. The large erection was there pressing into his flat stomach. Proof that the detective wanted him. Needing more contact than just the kiss, he rubbed his own throbbing cock against Yusuke’s.


“Fuck!” Yusuke swore feeling the man’s dick pressing against his own. Reality came crashing down over him. His hands grabbed the slender shoulders before shoving the man away. Guilt rushed over his soul as the red head went crashing back into the table. The force strong enough to crack it in half, making Kurama hit the floor with a hard thud. Yusuke felt his anger blaze at his own response. “Dammit, what the hell do you think you’re doing? You’re a fucking guy Kurama. Sorry but I can’t. You know how I feel about Keiko. Even if we weren’t together, I don’t love you. I can’t be with you. I’ve got to go.”


Kurama stared at the white tile as the door slammed shut behind the man. The loud echo caused pain to fill his chest. Getting off the floor he ignored the busted table as he walked over to the window. Peeking out he saw Yusuke walking down the street. The shoulders were tense, anger clear in each step. Had he just messed up by making a move on the man? Or would he come to accept it in time? Or had Yusuke meant the words spoken in anger?


Shiori laughed from the backseat as Shuuichi frowned from the passenger seat. Her husband was driving, taking them home. Her smile left seeing her son staring out the window of the car. He looked so depressed she wanted to know what was wrong. Was it love problems? That was most likely the case. He’d talk to her when he was ready until then she’d just be here for him. He hadn’t been himself in over two months. Doing nothing but moping around his place. She’d called this morning to invite him to dinner leaving no room for argument.


Kurama felt the hand land on his knee and turned to look at the worried face of his mother. He managed a small smile for her benefit as the car went up the ramp to hit the highway. She was just trying to cheer him up and he knew this. It was just hard to be cheerful when he had so much on his mind. Every day he debated heading over to talk to Yusuke. He wanted to give the man time to get over his anger. He’d even called Keiko to see how the man was doing. She’d told him enough. She asked him what had happened because Yusuke would get pissed every time someone mentioned his name. Which meant it hadn’t been a moments anger. His friend was really upset that he’d made a move on him.


The car swerved to the left as a large van nearly swiped them. His stepfather swore as he righted the vehicle. The van pulled past them to get in front of a large eighteen-wheeler. There was three of the large semis carting construction pipes to their destination. Head lights flashed as the van suddenly yanked in front of the lead truck. Kurama watched as the obvious drunk driver slammed on his brakes for some unknown reason. The first rig screeched as it hit the brakes but couldn’t stop in time from ramming the back of the van. The trailer jacked from the impact sending it into the cab of the second. The truck hit the railing only to land on it’s side. Sparks flew as his stepfather slammed on brakes trying to stop. The third truck tried to avoid the collision but only managed to turn and begin to roll.


Green eyes widened in shock as the car spun to a quickly around putting his and his stepfather’s side facing the carnage. Something white had snapped off the spinning trailer. The force snapped the pole sending it towards them. Panic filled him as his mother screamed next to him as the car was hit by another car in the back. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion for him as he watched the pole heading straight for his mother. It impacted through the windshield at an angle soaring past his stepfather’s head missing it by inches. Without thinking he moved in front of the human woman. Pain filled his chest as the plastic went in deep. He felt himself hit the woman, his back hitting her chest. Screaming unlined the pain as the car hit the concrete railing coming to a sudden stop. Tires screeched as others cars came to a crushing halt near them.


“Shuichi!” Shiori screamed making her husband and stepson turn around. Everyone was dazed from the sudden accident. Her hand went to the pale cheek of her boy. Tears streamed down her face when the deep green eyes refused to open. A piece of the construction pole was sticking out his chest. The white shirt was soaked with blood. Her husband began calling to her as she began to cry. “No, no, wake up.”


Someone opened her door trying to grab the boy. Her hand slapped at them, she wouldn’t let them take her son. The rise and fall of his chest had stopped. No breath came from the pale lips. Sirens were heard in the distance as she cradled the red head. Tears were streaming as the paramedics pried him from her arms. Her husband had to hold her while they examined him. A piercing scream filled the air as they placed the white sheet over the still form.

Keiko placed the red rose on the coffin as she came to stand up next to Shizuru. Shiori was sitting on the ground next to the wooden box. They were waiting on woman’s cue to begin lowering her son to his final resting place. The older man held her as she cried hysterically calling for Shuichi. The taller woman placed a hand upon Keiko’s shoulder. There was no stopping the tears that were being shed. “Shizuru.”


“Yeah, I know.” Shizuru hugged the girl as the other boy, Shuuichi knelt beside them to place several roses upon the coffin. Her eyes went to her brother that was sitting in a chair next to Yusuke. A strong arm was placed over the shaking shoulders. Kuzuma was trying comfort the man, willing himself to be strong. The only one taking it harder than their friend was Kurama’s human mother. All of them were there except Hiei. That wasn’t surprising but the man had been informed of what happened.


Kuwabara felt the twist of pain with every jagged breath coming from the former detective’s lips. They’d all lost a friend two days ago. People had whispered at the wake that he’d died in the place of his mother. Tears were threatening as he watched Yusuke palm his face. The man wasn’t trying to stop his own flow, instead he cried out the hurt of loss.


Yusuke didn’t bother to acknowledge it when the man beside him stood up to walk on over to the coffin. He didn’t want to look at the thing. He didn’t want to see where the man was laying unmoving. There was no accepting that the man was gone. He hadn’t been able to look upon that pale face. To look at the closed eyes, forever shut keeping him from gazing into those large green orbs. The lips slightly parted in death, never to speak his name again. The same lips that had given him the kiss that had changed his world. The warm body that had been his to embrace was cold and lifeless. It was too late, he was gone. He’d never be able to see the man smile, laugh or get angry again. After all the fights and near death misses, the man had taken a shot straight in the heart to save his mother.


No, he couldn’t really be gone. The man was just resting after taking such a hard blow. People stopped to stare as he walked over to the coffin. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he looked at the wooden box. Inside was something that had been stolen from him. No doubt his soul had already been judged. He’d never get the chance to apologize and let him know. Never get to admit what an idiot he’d been. His hand reached for the lid, the cold oak gliding under the pads. With a harsh cry he yanked the top off.


A jagged scream echoed the gasps of those surrounding the grave. Uncaring of the loud crying of Shiori or those yelling at him. His hands fisted in the suit covering the lifeless form. There was no color in the beautiful face as he pulled the man into his embrace. Tears streamed down his face, the limp red hair slid between his fingers. Hands gripped his shoulders trying to pull him back as he cradled the man. “You can’t leave me. I can’t lose you now, not now. Dammit, I love you. I loved you.”


Keiko reached for her boyfriend as he held onto the dead boy. It was making Shiori cry louder and people were calling him crazy. Her own heart ached as the detective held onto Kurama’s lifeless form. Tears welled hearing the words and watching Yusuke start placing tear soaked kisses across the man’s pale cheeks. No amount of begging on his part would bring the man back. It hurt to see him in such pain. She’d guessed at his true feelings weeks ago but hadn’t wanted to believe it. Now watching the anguish and loss over her boyfriends features she knew every word was true. Yusuke had been in love with the fox but it was too late.


“Come on man, put him down. He’s dead Urameshi, this isn’t helping.” Kuwabara put a firm hand on the man’s shoulder. He needed to snap out of it. It was disturbing to see him holding the corpse. Kurama was no longer there it was only a shell. Shizuru helped him pry the body out of Yusuke’s arms. Harsh cries pulled at their heart strings as two other people they assumed were family went to place him back in the coffin and close the lid.


Keiko looked at the roses being tossed on the wood as they started to lower it into the ground. Soon it was blanketed in red petals as a few final words were spoken in remembrance. Giving in, she walked over to the large hole and threw another flower in. It landed with the others, surrounding the man in his favorite scent. She walked over to her boyfriend and went to her knees with him. His arms went around her slim shoulders as he cried. “Oh, Yusuke.”

Kurama tossed the file back on the toddler’s desk. He scowled at the ferry girl that was standing next to the man looking too happy for his liking. The man should have his new detective deal with the problem. He wasn’t in the mood for it. He’d come to the Reikai for one reason two months ago to find out if anyone had asked about him. Seeing no one had he’d decided to say fuck it and head back into the Makai. His life of thieving was over but there was other things to pass his time with. Yomi had been more than happy to accept him. He’d made the mistake of telling Koenma to call for him if he ever needed anything.


It wasn’t dealing with the new threat it was seeing the former detective again. He would have been glad to see him again under most circumstances. His ears twitched as he picked up the sounds of Botan walking down the hall. Glaring he tossed the file at Koenma and stormed out the other door. He had to compose himself before confronting the other man. He should have stayed his ass in the Makai. As he took his last humane breath he’d had no choice but to separate himself from his human biology. It had been his plan from the beginning just sooner than he wanted. He didn’t regret giving up his human life to keep his mother alive.


He’d stayed away during Shuichi’s funeral and burial. It would have been too painful for him to see his mother mourn. The temptation to rush to her side would have been too strong. He’d went to see Hiei and let him know what had happened. The man wasn’t surprised to see him. Part of him had been hoping that Yusuke might want to know what happened to him. Instead no one had asked about him or come to make sure he’d actually passed. He should have known it would happen. Yusuke hadn’t bothered to talk to him in over two months. Any form of relationship they’d had, had broken along with his kitchen table.


Yusuke followed Botan along with Kuwabara. He didn’t appreciate Botan calling him and stating it was mandatory for him to show. He didn’t feel like doing this now. He didn’t feel like doing anything these days. Keiko told him he needed to get over it but could he? No, he missed his friend. What he wouldn’t give to turn back time and not be such an idiot. The door opened to the man’s office. “Maid’s day off?”


Koenma scowled around the binky at the man. He was going to give the fox spankings for making such a mess. Let him have his tantrum but he needed them all on this case. “Yes, well if your teammates would learn some manners then I wouldn’t have to worry about it. I’m not sure who’s worse him or Hiei. At least he didn’t tell me to fuck myself before walking out.”


“Who?” Kuwabara saw Botan’s confused look at the question. He didn’t see anyone else in the office. Were they going to be paired up with the man’s new detective. Figures Hiei would walk out on it. The man was never very sociable or polite.


“Kurama of course, speaking of which where did he go Koenma?” Botan walked over to grab some of the paper. The man must have left in a fuss with the mess he’d made. She wondered what had gotten shoved up his ass.


“He walked out I’m afraid. He wasn’t too happy either. I guess I should just be lucky I didn’t have my head removed. I swear his temper has gotten worse in these two months.” Koenma screamed when he found himself being picked up. Blazing chocolate eyes stared him down. “Don’t tell me you don’t like being called either Yusuke.”


“You said Kurama. Where the fuck is he? What did you do, bring him back to life to work for you?” Yusuke sneered at the man’s forlorn expression. He swore he’d kill the man if that’s what he’d done.


“Of course not. Why would I need to bring him back when he was never dead to begin with. Really Yusuke don’t you ever stop to think? You know what he was, his human body ceased to function but he was strong enough to survive without it. After all he is Youko Kurama. Now put me down before you make me angry.” Koenma landed on his desk as the hands released him. “Now, the file is all over the floor. But I can fill you all in as soon as Botan fetches Kurama.”


“No need,” Kurama opened the door again. He wasn’t surprised to see the ferry girl cleaning up the mess. He kept his eyes away from the other two. His ears twitched as the toddler jumped to sit back down in the squeaky chair. He couldn’t stop the silver tails from snapping in annoyance as he crossed the room. Crossing his arms he planted his ass on the desk. “Give us the details already.”


“Fine but stop that already. You are about to knock over the rest of my files. I do not want to spend the next five hours sorting through them because you cannot control your damn tail. If everyone will shut up I’ll get to gist of it so you three can head out. I don’t think Hiei will be of any help this time around.” Koenma looked back over to Yusuke who was staring at the fox with a strange emotion. A mixture of disbelief and awe, really it’s not like he’d never seen the man in his true form before. “An artifact has been stolen and taken into the Makai. I need two of you to head there and retrieve it. My detective is in the Ningenkai trying to stop the hordes of youkai that is following the man. As long as the man has the stone he can control the minds of the weak. Kuwabara I’d like for you to assist her in stopping this. Yusuke and Kurama I need you two to go retrieve it. Make sure to be quick about it. I’ll have Botan drop you off near the source of power.”


“Very well,” Kurama stood up off of the desk. The sooner they got this done then he could head back into the Makai. He turned feeling the eyes burning a hole into his back. Smirking he scoffed at the anger being directed towards him. So the former detective wasn’t happy about working with him. The man really could hold a grudge. If he’d known that he’d have never touched him. He couldn’t change the past and wouldn’t apologize for it. Let him stew in it if he had nothing better to do. It was just a kiss the man should be over it. “Let’s go.”


Yusuke could do nothing but stare at the man in anger. For weeks he’d mourned the loss and he’d been alive. Had he kept his presence hidden for a reason? Had he thought it funny to get back at him in such a manner? How could he not let them know that he was still around? Didn’t the man realize how much pain his death had cause for many. Especially himself, he was still hurting. His heart still hurt from losing the man. The fox hadn’t cared enough to let him know so why should he care that he was still alive?

Kurama put the whip up as they entered the abandoned building. His nose picked up several scents before the lights came on. Yusuke tensed beside him as laughing surrounded the area. He was thankful for the short trip. He was already tired of the man’s death glares upon his person. Was the man that homophobic? Perhaps he should remind the boy that he wasn’t the enemy here. If too many controlled youkai remained running free in the Ningenkai then the man’s precious Keiko would be in danger. He knew this and was going to make sure that the human mother he’d left behind wouldn’t have to worry about this problem. “It is above us.”


“Thanks, but I’m not blind.” Yusuke snapped at the fox. He was well aware of their opponent standing on the ledge above them. The stone glowed a bright green in the man’s clawed hand. That was their target. Smirking he fired at the man. The blast tore through the side of the building making the wall begin to fall down. Dust cleared but the man and his ledge were still standing. “What the fuck?”


“You fool, that is merely an image. Try thinking before you go around attacking.” Kurama narrowed his eyes several feet above his head was their true opponent. He couldn’t see it, he could just smell it. The rest of the room had a stale presence. While that one spot was oddly of fresh meat. He was debating on how to attack it when a fist slammed into his jaw.


Yusuke felt better when the man came to a stop some feet away. Who the fuck did he think he was talking to him like that? He wasn’t the one that acted without thinking. Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did that day if Kurama would have tried talking to him first. Dammit, he’d had to live with the fact that the man was dead for weeks. Every day a piece of him died wanting to be buried with his friend. Now he was acting like it was nothing. His hurt and pain had been and meant absolutely shit. “Fuck you, you should take your own advice and think before you act.”


“Hmph, I see.” Kurama spat on the floor. The coppery taste of blood filling his mouth. So he wanted to have things out here. Yusuke had never been smart about things. Giving in he decided to let the man get it off his chest while keeping an eye on the enemy. He seemed content to cling to the roof and watch as the detective squared off against him. This wasn’t the best time for it but he doubted Yusuke would listen to reason. “If you have something to say then say it. I tire of listening to you. I came here to do something not to listen to you whine.”


“You fucking bastard. How dare you stand there looking so calm. Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Or do you even care?” Yusuke saw red as the man shrugged his shoulders as if he’d just asked about the weather. The fox moved as he swung at him, dust stirred as Kurama landed some feet away. He didn’t give a shit about anything else. He just wanted the man to hurt as much as he had. His temper snapped when the man brushed an invisible piece of lint off his shoulder. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”


Kurama narrowed his eyes and tried to move out of the way. The boys anger was making him unbelievable fast. It was getting hard to dodge the blows and keep half his attention on the thing above them. It finally moved to the right and his gave it all his attention. A hard set of knuckles took him hard across the side of his head. His ears rang as the fists rapidly slammed into his stomach. Fear escalated as he tried to jump back. This really wasn’t the time for Yusuke to lose his temper. The enemy wasn’t any match for either of them but fighting amongst themselves would put them at a disadvantage. He only managed to put a few feet between them but Yusuke covered it before he could scan the area and find it once more. The next punch landed under his jaw snapping it shut.


Yusuke felt elated at seeing the blood dropping from the slim nose. It was proof that the man was alive and real. But it made the ache in his heart intensify. Why wasn’t he fighting back? Hell the man wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore. Did he not warrant the man’s attention? Obviously not if he could allow him to believe that the death was real. Finally, the fox’s eyes snapped to him after he delivered a kick to the man’s chest. Chocolate eyes widened seeing the man’s aura flare. He saw death and anger in those golden depths. Seeing the man was ready to fight back he sent a blast towards the fox.


Kurama narrowed his eyes seeing the creature rushing up behind Yusuke. It was still invisible but it was rushing towards the unaware man. His aura flared as he concentrated. Moving would alert it to that he was being observed. As it got within range he slammed his hand to the ground as a large blue blast erupted from Yusuke’s palm. It was either avoid the direct hit or let Yusuke take a blow in the back. Focusing, he sent the energy to the seed. Roots sprang from the ground impaling the creature as the blast struck him in the chest.


Yusuke watched the fox as he took it head on. He felt the energy surge beneath him but was ready for whatever the man had planned. The scream filled his ears as the echo of tearing flesh was heard. The stone fell at his feet as the image shifted behind him. Wide eyes took in the large brown roots that were twisting inside the large man. The long blade dropped, clattering on the wooden floor. The sword had only been a foot from his back.


Kurama opened his eyes but winced from the pain in his chest. The white material was singed from the hit. Growling he rolled to his knees but didn’t cry out. Part of him screamed that he should have let the boy take it in the back. Would have served his right for being such an idiot and not paying attention. He swore at himself for being such a fool. The boy had been attacking him but that didn’t change anything. He knew no matter what Yusuke did he couldn’t let him die. He got to his feet as the boy turned back to him. Confusion and guilt clearly on his face. Whatever, that was his problem. “Take the stone back to Koenma. The ones in the Ningenkai would have woken up with his death. This mission is over.”


Yusuke watched the man walk away leaving him alone in the building or what was left of it. Despair and confusion filled him. What the hell had just happened? Besides Kurama obviously just saved him from getting hurt. Why? The fox had just left him without giving any answers. He groaned when the fire apparition dropped down beside him. “What are you doing here Hiei?”


“Watching you be a fool. You are worse than Kuwabara. He should have let you take that hit in the back. Maybe then you’d pull your head out your ass. What were you thinking fighting your teammate while in the midst of danger? No matter how meager the threat may be it can be deadly if you are unprepared.” Hiei snorted as the man had the audacity to look guilty. He’d arrived in time to stop it from happening. But he’d saw that even though Kurama was getting his ass handed to him by the boy he was well aware of the danger. The fox had grown too soft in his opinion. It didn’t matter if he cared for the detective or not. The man needed some sense knocked into him. “Do you want to tell me why you felt the need to attack him? Or shall I beat it out of you?”


“Fuck Hiei, I don’t know. I was pissed okay. I don’t like being lied to. All this time I thought he was dead and he didn’t tell me.” Yusuke sat down on the ground and picked up the small stone. How could Hiei understand what he’d been feeling? Besides with Yukina he didn’t think the hybrid had any deep emotions. What would Hiei say if he told him the truth? “You wouldn’t understand.”


“Understand what? That you rebuked his advances? That you refused to talk to him for months before that accident. Why the hell should he have gone out of his way to let you know he was still around? Have you stopped to ask yourself that? He should have let you die. Even while you are attacking him he is more concerned for your welfare. Perhaps you are right. I don’t understand why he’d want to waste his time on you. I’ll be taking the stone back to Koenma now. I’m sure you’ll be fine on your own.” Hiei sneered as he snatched the bothersome artifact up. The boy could sit there til he grew roots for all he cared. He’d return this thing for Kurama, not for the boy.


Kurama scowled when the boy came strolling up the mountain side. Damn he just wanted to fucking sleep and not deal with the shit. Hiei had let him know that he was returning the artifact. So he was heading on home for some rest. The slight sting was still in his chest from earlier. Why the fuck was Yusuke coming to bother him now? If the boy wanted to finish the fight then he wouldn’t hold back this time. He’d had enough of the man’s foul temper. It’d only been a simple kiss. “Go away Yusuke.”


“No, not until I talk to you.” Yusuke heard the voice coming like a low menacing growl from the small cave. The aura had been motionless for some time. Is this where Kurama was staying? Was it where the man had been keeping himself since that day? He needed to talk to him. Most of this was his fault and he knew it. He needed to apologize and let the man know how he felt. The was some light from a fire that was burning in the middle of the cave. There was a mattress in the corner piled with blankets. The fox was living here it seemed. “I’m not fucking going anywhere until we talk.”


“I have nothing to say to you. I will give you only one more warning. Leave now or you will regret it.” Kurama glared at him over the orange fire. The heat from the blaze caressed his face as he waited for the man to leave. He refused to talk with him, that time was over. The boy had said enough earlier without using any words.


“No dammit. I don’t care what you do, I am not leaving.” Yusuke held his ground as he took a few more steps into the dank cave. He had to talk to him or he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He didn’t care what Kurama did. Hell, he’d deserve it if the man beat the shit out of him. Chocolate eyes widened as the fox must have read his thought. A fist slammed into his jaw making him stagger back. Anger flared but it was crushed by guilt. His hands balled at his sides but he wouldn’t strike back. “Try again because I meant what I said. I’m not leaving Kurama.”


“I’ll just have to make you eat those words. You’ll be begging me to allow you to leave in moments.” He snatched the boy’s thick mane of black hair. The sound of his knee colliding with the man’s jaw brought him no pleasure. The boy wasn’t fighting back but stood there mouth dripping blood as a foot was brought across his back. Seeing the guilty look crossing the boyish features he swore. The man would stand there all night and let him beat him because he felt guilty over what happened earlier. Yusuke knew he’d spared his life and wouldn’t strike back. Wanting to cause pain and make the boy leave. He shoved the boy down onto the ground face first.


Yusuke gasped as clawed hands went for his pants. The sound of ripping material was heard as the fox tore the clothing off from his lower parts. As much as he wanted this to happen he didn’t want to be raped by the man. Would the man stop before doing it? Would Kurama really let there first time be rape? Clenching his fists until the nails drew blood, he asked if they could talk now. He ignored the sound of discarding clothes. “Do it if you want Kurama but I’m not leaving.”


“Really? Do you feel that guilty you are willing to let me fuck you? I don’t think so Yusuke, I think we both know that before I am done you will end up fighting back.” Kurama scowled as his hand wrapped around his flaccid shaft. He had to close his eyes and stroke the member for several minutes. While getting it ready he was giving Yusuke the time to run. Surely the boy wouldn’t let him go that far. If he thought he was bluffing then he’d soon learn his mistake. The detective’s smooth ass was pulled into the air. The sight made him groan in anticipation. His eyes remained on the pinched features as he guided himself to the puckered hole. “Still want to talk Yusuke or are you ready to leave? You have three seconds to move or I’m going to fuck you.”


Yusuke held back the scream of pain as the man pushed past the puckered ring. Searing heat entered his gut as the thick member was shoved into the passage. He gasped feeling himself tear around the erection. There was a loud growl behind him as nails dug into his hips. Even being beaten in the face by Yomi hadn’t hurt so much. His chest constricted as the fox moved behind him. There was nothing gentle or caring about the thrusts. The man was moaning as he took his own pleasure at his expense.


Kurama moaned as the tight muscles squeezed his cock. His eyes roamed to the boy’s face. Anger rushed through him at the total look of boredom. It stung that the boy was so void of any emotion but guilt. He felt guilty enough to allow him to do this but was unaffected otherwise. His hands grabbed the jiggling ass cheeks tight and pushed them apart. He picked up speed not caring that the tight walls ripped further around his cock. The hot sticky blood coated him as he slammed into the unprepared opening.


Yusuke had to turn his head as the man began killing him. His face hit the rough surface as the thick cock plowed into his ass without mercy. The smell of his own blood assaulted his nose. A groan finally escaped his lips as his knees were pushed further apart. A hand reached under him to grab his soft flesh. Pain escaped him as it was gripped tightly and began stroking the cock. No amount of stimulation would have worked as he cried out. His teeth bit down on his bottom lip as the pumping friction turned into a burning pain. The entire lower half of his body protested at the intrusion. His knees gave out as his vision blurred. The fox moved down with him as he lay prone on the dirty surface. A few tears escaped as the silver hair draped in front of his face. A few harsh cries and the fox’s wet heat began to fill his sore entrance.


“Get out!” Kurama moved away from him. His eyes avoided looking at the blood smeared over his softening member. He didn’t like the guilt starting to feel his chest. He’d warned the man to leave. If Yusuke couldn’t stand a mere kiss no doubt the man would never come around him again after this. Standing up, he stumbled to his shaky knees. The smell of copper made his stomach turn. His ears twitched at the small gasps of pain. “I want you gone by the time I return.”


Yusuke couldn’t move as the fox walked out of the cave without looking back. He didn’t want to leave but it was obvious the man didn’t want to talk to him now. It was no one’s fault but his own. He didn’t think he could walk if he tried. Black dots were clouding his vision as he looked to see the fox standing outside in the breeze. The long silver hair wrapped around the tense shoulder. Groaning he couldn’t move his legs as he tried to get up. Darkness swept over him for several seconds as pain shot up his spine. The fox would most likely throw him out if he came back in to find him passed out. He sighed knowing Kurama wouldn’t listen to what he had to say but he wasn’t going to leave without saying it. Reaching forward his finger slid across the dirt covered floor.


Kurama took a deep breath willing his emotions to calm. He wasn’t surprised when Yusuke didn’t come out. His ears didn’t pick up any sign of movement either. Guilt rushed through him making him feel like a bastard as the wind picked up the scent of blood and semen. Why would the man allow him to go so far and not retaliate? He walked back inside the small cave to see what the man was doing. His eyes widened seeing he’d passed out on the hard floor. Reaching down he put a hand on the boy’s shoulder and turned him over. The slight rise and fall of his chest was apparent.


A small moan escaped the parted lips as Kurama moved him around. His eyes ran over the unconscious man noticing the pale cheeks that were streaked with tears. A clawed thumb ran over the salty wetness. Sorrow filled his chest knowing he’d caused more than physical pain. Reaching up to grab the hand planning to place it on the man’s chest; to make it easier to pick him up, he saw the small writing in the dirt. ‘Forgive Me.’ Heat filled his eyes at the two words. He did his best to pick the man up without causing any more discomfort.


Kuwabara smiled as the fox landed on his window sill. It was getting late and he could hear Shizuru getting ready for bed. She was pissed that he’d gotten injured earlier helping Koenma out. It was just a little scratch but she was being a pain. He was glad to see the man again. “Hey man, good to see you.”


“Kuwabara,” Kurama stepped inside the room and leaned against the sill. He’d left Yusuke in the cave hours ago while the boy healed up and slept. It’d taken some time to apply some healing salve and see that he was comfortable and would sleep for another few hours. He’d also made sure the man wouldn’t be disturbed by putting up a barrier in front of the cave. Anyone that was foolish enough to try and enter would be turn apart by the thorns. “I need a favor. Yusuke needs some clothes, can you get them for me?”


“Sure man. Where is he? Why didn’t he come with you? I got some of his stuff from when he stays. It’s only a few things but will work for a couple days. So did you two work things out?” He went to his bottom drawer that contained two pairs of sweat pants and three shirts. The boy didn’t wear anything under his clothes. He’d informed his sister and Keiko about Kurama still being around. Both were happy for Yusuke’s sake.


“Excuse me?” Kurama took the clothes being handed to him. What did they have to work out? He’d see about patching up their friendship if there was a chance but he doubted it. Yusuke must be feeling guilty about getting so upset and attacking him. Perhaps even destroying their friendship over it. As soon as the boy was well he’d probably be on his way back here. “Tell Keiko that he is fine and will be coming back in a few days.”


“Um okay man but are you coming back?” Kuwabara saw the man scowl as he pried. He was just worried about his friends. Yusuke had barely been surviving since the funeral. The man would spend hours everyday at the grave. “Sorry man, I’m not trying to pry or anything. It’s just we’ve all been worried about him. I know I’m usually the last one to accept that kind of relationship. But you’re both my friends. We thought it was bad with the display he’d made at your funeral. We were sure he was going to kill himself a few times since then. Then he started spending most of his time talking to your grave marker. It was kind of freaky but Keiko told us he was grieving the only way he knew how. I’m not even sure how she could have been so understanding but I guess since she cares about him too, she’d want him to be happy.”


“What display? What are you talking about?” Kurama snapped at him. The words left a hollow feeling in his chest. Had Yusuke been grieving for him? Was it because he’d lost a friend or was there another reason for it? Now he wished he’d gone but he’d get his answers from Kuwabara. “Tell me now exactly what happened.”


“Man, I don’t like thinking about it. Urameshi flipped on us. It hurt seeing your mother crying but then he tried to stop them from burying you. The idiot dragged your corpse,” Kuwabara looked at the man standing in front of him much alive. “Well, you know what I mean. He tore the top off and pulled you out. Started kissing you, which was really gross. Sorry man, but anyways he was crying and asking you not to leave him. Not going to lie, it sounded wrong hearing someone like him admit to loving another man but to each their own I guess. I’m sure now that he knows you are still around things will be better for him. Kurama?”


“Nice seeing you too man.” Kuwabara sighed seeing the fox leap out the window. At least the man had taken the clothes with him. Would the two end up a couple? He couldn’t see being attracted to another male but that was just him. Walking over he closed the window as Shizuru called to him. “Coming, give me a few minutes.”

Yusuke groaned feeling the presence outside. His eyes felt gritty and raw but he managed to open them. Blinking he hoped to stop the stinging in his eyelids. Damn, what the fuck was wrong with him? He felt like going back to sleep but his senses were telling him to wake up. His arms and legs refused to move for him. Had the fox drugged him? Holy shit, his entire lower half was fucking numb for some reason. Panic filled him as the aura outside the entrance flickered in anger.


A deep growl made him tense. He managed to roll over with a loud thud. His groan filled the cave and the presence outside hit the barrier. A howl of pain made him try to get up. All he managed was to get upon his elbows so he could face the greenery. The vines moved to lash out at whatever was on the other side. Yusuke hoped it would hold out, he didn’t think he could fight without being able to feel half his body. He could try shooting whatever it was but that might bring the cave down in on him.


“Fuck me,” Smoke was starting to fill the cave as the vines caught aflame. That was one way to get rid of the plant life. He was prepared to do whatever it took when the two headed dog came trotting through the opening. The twin snouts sniffed the air catching his scent. It had to smell the blood on the floor also. Narrowing his eyes he waited for it to charge. “Stupid dog.”


Flames came out one snout as the other began drooling badly. Just as it prepared to leap a vine shot from the doorway to snag around it’s waist. It snarled, one head turned to bite at the restraint. As it bit down the foliage grew with force piercing the back of it’s skull. The flaming jaw was suddenly wrapped hard enough to make blood seep as the animal growled at the treatment.


“Saves me from finding dinner I suppose.” Kurama stepped in as the plant wrapped around the large torso. The squeals were silenced as several smaller vines pierced the chest and the heart. He stepped in to allow the foliage to recover the entrance. The fire was still blazing giving off enough light. His eyes sought out the detective and was surprised to see him awake. “You should still be sleeping.”


“Sorry, but the smell of smoke made me think Shizuru had walked into the room. What did you give me?” Yusuke got off his elbows to rest his head upon the pillow. His eyes felt heavy but he wanted to stay awake. Where had the fox gone and how long had he been out of it? Better yet, was the man going to tell him to leave now that he was awake?


“Something to help you sleep and to ease the pain. Your lower section will be numb for a few more hours but it is best until you have healed.” Kurama placed the clothes in the corner with what supplies he had. Would Yusuke want to talk now or wait until he got more rest? A burning question burned in the back of his mind and only the boy could answer it. Walking over to the bed he pulled the cover up to hide the naked chest as he sat down on the edge. “Why did you let me do it?”


“Why did you bother to take care of me after? You said you wanted me gone. You could have easily tossed me down the mountains while I was passed out.” Yusuke looked into the man’s face. It was his Kurama but it wasn’t. The body had changed on the outside. He knew that he was still the same person no matter what form he took. The infamous bandit Youko that had been touched by one small woman. Smart, cunning, ruthless, so many things that he found himself still captured by the man’s qualities.


“Is what Kuwabara told me true? Did you mourn the day you believed me dead?” Kurama noticed the pain flash briefly in the man’s eyes. He had to hear him say it. He had to know a few things before he allowed himself to accept it.


“What the hell do you think?” Yusuke yelled at him and catching the hand that had been reaching for his chest. “What would you like to hear? That I struggled for weeks to accept how I felt? That even after I accepted it I didn’t think it would make a difference. I was pissed that I’d just fucked up whatever there was between us. Before I could do a damned thing, I got a call from your stepfather telling me that you were dead. I have no idea what Kuwabara told you and I don’t care. It killed me to watch them bury you. To know there was nothing I could do to bring you back.”


“I didn’t know.” Kurama brought his other hand up to touch the hand holding onto him. If it was all true then he’d been the one to end the relationship now. There was no way for them to be intimate after what he’d done. “All I will say is that I didn’t think you wished to speak to me so I didn’t let you know. I wasn’t sure if you were aware of my reversal. I didn’t think it mattered so I left it at that. When I saw you again I assumed you were still mad because of what I tried. I guess now the fault lay with me. I’ll let you get some rest.”


“Don’t leave.” Yusuke pleaded with him as the man tried to get up. He had the sinking feeling that if he let the man walk out it would mean the end of everything. “So things have gotten fucked up between us. I don’t want you to walk away from me. I don’t know what you were wanting that day. I’m not sure what you want now, if anything. But don’t walk away from me. If it’s just sex then I can deal with it. I can’t handle losing you again. I’m not sure if we can have a relationship but dammit I want there to be an US.”


“You would allow me to touch you after what I did?” Kurama held his breath waiting for the answer. Could Yusuke trust him to be sexual after the pain he’d caused? There was a slim chance that the boy was strong enough but what effect would it have on their relationship?


“Yes, dammit. I knew what was going to happen. I’m not going to lie, it fucking hurt. But I know it doesn’t have to be that way. Is it possible for us to try? I would give everything up for the chance. I just need to know that you want it also.” Yusuke studied the golden eyes as they flickered with emotion. The fox shook his head but didn’t answer. It was enough for now. “Good, now lay down with me before I fall asleep on you. I think you tried to overdose me.”


“Yusuke,” Kurama gave in to the demand and went to his side. His arm went around the slim waist pulling the weary man close. Leaning over a chaste kiss was placed upon the detective’s parted mouth. The boy groaned and returned the pressure before settling against him. The soft easy breathing let him know that he’d fallen asleep once more. “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”


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