Theme 1: Comfort
Pairings: Kurama x Kitsu
Time setting: Days after "The Pesadilla Tournament"
Strangest of Times Kurama flinched as another object was thrown past his head. It had been one of his favorite books too.
“Why do you always keep things from me, Kurama?” Jen yelled, a small arsenal of objects in her hands. “After that shit with the Tournament, being kidnapped by demons, and you still have yet to tell me how you were involved in it. Why do you refuse to let me know anything?”
“I can’t… please try to understand.”
Jen scoffed, dropping her “artillery” to the ground. “So that’s it. I’ve threatened to leave if you wouldn’t tell me. And you still refuse. I see how it is.” She brushed passed him to enter their room.
“Please, don’t do this.” He followed her, only to see that she had already had a suitcase packed prior to their argument. “Jen, don’t—”
“Why? I don’t like secrets, you know this.” This time she shoved him out of the way with her shoulder. She opened the front door and stood there for a second, placing her bag down. “We’re through.” She wrenched off her engagement ring and threw it at his feet. Without another word, she left, slamming the door behind her.
Kurama stumbled slightly to the couch, falling back onto it.
She’s gone. … You really blew it Kurama. She trusted you enough to marry you, and you couldn’t trust her with your past. He put a fist to his head.
“Point is, I’ve been sitting back and seeing you stressing for days now. I want to help you Kurama, what part of that phrase is so hard to understand?” He glanced at the phone sitting next to him.
Kitsu is an option. Even though she’s an ex she’s been patient with me on this. … Really don’t know why I cast her aside though. To be honest, she did make me a lot happier, and more at ease. He shook his head. He didn’t want to revert back. He only wanted to be a human.
That will only work for so long Suichi, you know this, his counterpart said.
You are who you are. Remember when this body dies, you are not anchored to it anymore. You still are a fox, you still are a demon. Your soul is still what it was prior. Stop it. That’s why you left Kitsu. She still doesn’t even know your true intentions. With her, you could be who you really are, and nothing else mattered. Isn’t that right? After a moment’s hesitation he answered,
Yes… Then you know what you must do. Even so, he debated on talking to her for awhile. In the meantime, he tried to get in contact with Hiei, only to have Sha answer. And she sounded busy.
“Oh, Sha. Sounds like you have your hands full there.”
“Yeah. Daddy dearest had to go off on a mission. He’ll be back in a few days. Is something wrong?” She growled softly. “Hold on a second.” Her voice grew fainter. “Kiete stop harassing Shadow! Or did you not learn last time dogs will bite back?” A few seconds of silence followed by, “I don’t care if he ate a piece of your Lego set, you can do without that piece for awhile. It’ll come out eventually.”
Kurama chuckled. “I bet you can’t wait for him to come back.”
“Oh you have no idea.” She let out a sigh. “I’ll let him know you called.”
“No, that’s not necessary. But thanks. Bye.” He hung up after hearing her response.
I doubt Yusuke or Kuwabara would be as logical either… No other choice. Cautiously, and with his finger shaking a bit, he dialed the number to the vixen’s home. A nervous pang started in his stomach, one he always felt around her, or even when he thought of her.
“Hello?”
He almost couldn’t talk for a second. He felt his breath caught in his throat.
“If this is a joke—”
“No, it’s not,” Kurama said, when he finally found his voice.
He heard her sigh in relief a bit. And for some reason it made a tingle go up and down his spine. “Ah, good. I had already threatened castration on someone earlier. Didn’t feel like doing so again.” She paused. “So what’s going on now?”
“Jen’s… well she’s gone.”
“Wait what? Didn’t she just say she’d marry you just like two weeks ago? What happened with that?”
“I know this is asking a lot, but can you come here?” He bit his lip.
“Yeah, just give me a few. I’ll shower and head over. Don’t do anything stupid.”
He laughed sadly. “Don’t worry about that.” They said their good-byes and he let out an explosive sigh. Truth be told, he wasn’t as screwed up over it as he thought he would be. Sure he loved Jen, and probably always would, but he wasn’t in love with her. That love one person still kept. Sighing, he turned the TV on and sank into the cushions, not really paying attention to the screen.
It didn’t take Kitsu too long to arrive. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” she said as she seated herself on the sofa, getting comfortable as he sat next to her. She arched a brow at the screen. “Bridezillas?”
He blushed slightly and switched to a different channel. “I just had it on to distract me. Jen must’ve…”
Kitsu smiled. “If she would’ve acted like this, I’d have to shoot her for being so spoiled.”
This made Kurama crack a small grin. “From what she had started to plan, yes she would’ve been like that.”
She shuddered. “Honestly, I’m not sure how you put up with her for so long.” She slightly winced, expecting him to yell at her. His reaction surprised her.
He actually laughed.
“Wait, a laugh?”
“Yes. I’m not sure how I did it either.” He clenched his hands in front of him. “Do you… believe in second chances?”
She narrowed her eyes in confusion. “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. It’s really not up to me to decide if she’ll come back or not.”
“You misunderstand.” He silently let out a deep breath. His nerves were eating at his stomach again. “Lost relationships. Broken friendships. Do you believe they… can be repaired to what they once were?”
Her face fell slightly. “Sometimes, though usually the one at fault apologizes for his or her stupidity.” She stared intently at him, shifting her body to face him, tucking her legs under her body to keep her skirt straight. “Also, he explains his reasons for fucking it up in the first place.”
He flinched. “I know; I owe you a lot of apologies.”
“That doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Kitsu felt herself get angrier, two years of rage that had been simmering under her skin coming to the surface. “You left me for a human. You left me with no explanation.”
“Kit—”
“You left me alone in demon world.”
“I know bu—”
“You left behind who you really are. You left every—”
“Enough!” He didn’t even feel himself move until he was on top of her, pinning her arms over her head as he kept her between his body and the sofa. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
She pulled her lips back in a snarl, showing her fangs. “Who was it who called me whenever he had a problem with his ‘new girl’? Who was it that had to deal with the pain, knowing that love belonged to someone else now?”
“It never changed owners, Kitsu…”
Her eyes grew a bit in surprise and her lips lowered. “What…?”
“I’ve known it for awhile now, but had no way of acting on it.”
This made her anger return. This time she flipped them so he was pinned beneath her, her tail waving about behind her. “Yet you knew just how to leave me without explanation. Do you know how many restless nights I’ve had, wondering ‘What did I do? Why did he leave me?’ Well answer me dammit, once and for all.”
“I wanted to be rid of who I was, permanently.” He reached up and cupped her face, ignoring how she flinched ever so slightly. “Before I met you, I thought I had rid myself of the demon side. I didn’t expect him to be able to come out so easily around someone like you. Recently, I’ve seen I can’t hide who I really am. When this body dies, my spirit is free again. I am a demon, and I cannot be anything more, or less. I tried fooling myself into thinking if I stayed with a human, the demon would lie dormant once more. It only grew angry.”
Her eyes went soft finally. “Why did you torture yourself so much? And then planned to marry her? What were you thinking?”
“I wanted to try to revert to my original thinking. That I don’t need to be a fox.”
“You fool…” She stroked his face lightly. “You are who you are. Did you not see that in torturing yourself, you also tortured me?”
He felt a pang of guilt. “I know…”
“Did you not see the pained smile I gave each time I tried to help you?”
“I did…”
“Did you not realize I wished to the gods we had not lost that child, and that we would have remained together?”
“It couldn’t have been helped. The child part.” He softly raked his fingers through her hair. “This is probably the worst time for it all, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry about these past two years, for leaving you without warning. For everything. Please, let me show you how sorry I am.”
He moved to kiss her, but she shook her head, pressing his chest to push him back down. “I’ve been suffering and dealing with this for two years. A while longer will make no difference.”
Curious, he watched the vixen slink down his figure, knowing exactly what was to come, but still wondering how much had changed. He had to wrench his eyes closed as she pulled him from the confines of his pants, barely restraining a shiver of excitement that erupted on his spine. The nervous feeling that had previously been eating away at his insides gave way to sit in his throat.
“Before I do anything further,” she squeezed him gently, enticing a small moan from him, “I want to know; did you ever stop loving me?”
“Never. I loved Jen too, but it never compared to how I felt about you.” Without warning, he felt her encircle him with her mouth, causing him to buck his hips in surprise and excitement. Her fangs gently scraped him, something he had forgotten all about, but it didn’t hurt in the slightest. And when she started twisting her hand as she stroked him, he all but lost it. Feeling his control slipping, he stopped her and forced her on her back, pulling up her shirt and bra to lavish the skin and nipples beneath.
She even still tastes the same… Why did you ever give her up you idiot? Kitsu couldn’t believe the situation at hand. He had just lost his fiancé not more than an hour ago, and here she was under him, all their old feelings flying back into play. While it seemed like a dream, it was all too good to be true.
His name fell off her tongue, causing another ripple of excitement to tear through his body. Unable to contain himself any further, Kurama slipped off her panties and, when sure she was wet enough, slipped inside of her walls. Just the feeling alone left his head spinning.
This is wrong. I know this wrong. Jen just left this same house, this same room, and here I am having sex with my ex-girlfriend. This isn’t like me at all. While I didn’t love her as she loved me, Jen doesn’t deserve this. Kitsu doesn’t deserve to be pulled into this either. He was wrenched from his thoughts as her walls tightened playfully around him, causing him to moan into her shoulder. “That’s not playing fair.”
“When was I ever fair in this situation, hm?”
“Point taken.”
Forgive me for this, but it is something that needs to be done. He made himself move again feeling his other half want to come out. He thought he had suppressed it when…
“You might as well change, I can see the silver coming through your hair,” Kitsu said with a slight smile.
“But I don’t—”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “I’ve always accepted all of you. Your silver hair, or your red. Don’t hide who you really are from me.”
With her words, he let himself go, completely and fully for the first time in two years. He clamped down on his newly formed fangs as his need intensified. “I never stopped loving you,” his now deeper voice rasped. “I never wanted any of this. For you to be hurt, or for anyone to be hurt.” He pushed her legs back as far as they would go, groaning against his teeth. “You don’t know what it’s like to have two personalities fighting over what is right and what is wrong. I thought—”
She leaned up and captured his lips in a kiss to silence him. When she pulled away, she smiled softly. “I don’t know, but I do understand.”
He quickened his pace. “Kitten… I’m…”
“I-I am too.”
With his last stroke he pulled out and released onto her belly. He hadn’t willed for a child, but he still knew she didn’t like that sort of clean up. Slowly his hair faded back to red, and the other additions faded away. His eyes though, changed completely.
“Since when did the green have flecks of gold in them?”
“Never; why?”
She laughed behind her hand. “You may want to check a mirror.”
Alarmed he got up, nearly tripping over the pants that had fallen around his knees, and went into the master bathroom, looking at his eyes. Sure enough, a good amount of gold still hung around in them. “Dammit…”
“It should fade, shouldn’t it?” Kitsu crept in behind him, pulling her shirt back into place.
“I hope so.” He didn’t tense as her hand softly laid on his arm. “I’m sorry.”
“For what now?”
“For that. It shouldn’t have happened.”
She pulled away. “I… I understand.”
He shook his head. “No. You don’t. You really don’t.” He turned around to face her, holding on to the hand that was just on his arm. “I shouldn’t have done any of that. You were here to comfort me and it turned into that. For that I am sorry.”
“Why though? We both needed that. This,” she gestured out the door into his now solo room, “is what you must get used to now. Sleeping alone again.” She looked away sadly. “I know this was something that was too good to be true. But I went with it. I know you, Kurama, and this isn’t you. Either side of you. To just jump the bones of someone else right after one option leaves.”
“I didn’t—”
“I know you didn’t mean it. Any of it. You wanted a release, and that’s what you got. I hope you can sleep well now. I’ll be going.”
“Kitsu listen to me.” He pinned her to the wall, hands on either side of her head. “The physical act of what just happened, that’s what I didn’t want to do. The mental aspect of it I did. I do still love you.”
“And I you, but you are hard to believe, considering she’s been gone almost two hours. Not days, weeks, or months. The situation at hand is against you.” She stared into his eyes. “Maybe in a month or so, I’ll believe you. But right now, I can’t.”
He sighed a bit. “I know. Even with that, please stay with me. If only for tonight.”
“Only if you don’t touch me like that again tonight.”
“I promise you, I will not.”
She smiled slightly. “We find comfort in the most oddball of ways, don’t we?”
“How so?” he cocked his head to the side, letting her out of his arm cage.
“You needed me, of all people, to come to your aid. I needed you just to be around to be content.”
He smiled as well. “Just your smile itself puts me in a state of contentment. It always did.”
“Though, um, could we sleep on the sofa? I don’t think I’ll be at ease in your room.”
“Understandable.” He followed her out to the living room after tossing her one of his larger shirts to sleep in.
I’ll make this right for both of us. The loss just might work out for the better. Though it was too soon to do something like this… I am where I belong.
