Loving Penpal

To say you were shocked was an understatement. You felt numb and thought for a fleeting moment that perhaps you were dreaming; but no, this was reality and the one thing you would never have anticipated occurred in a blink of an eye. At that instant you felt like a projection, that you were no longer in your body and you could see yourself shaking. Why, you did not know.

“Adopted,” you said in a strangled whisper. “I’m adopted?” you asked more to yourself.

Your mother once again broke down crying and the woman, Akira if you recalled, hung her head in shame. You didn’t know how you were doing it, but you were moving towards the kitchen table and slowly sat down next to your mother. You didn’t feel your arm moving and you didn’t feel your mother’s skin when your hand came in contact with her.

“Why-?” you stuttered not knowing what to say. “How?”

Your mother continued to cry and you turned to the other woman when she cleared her throat. “I can explain,” the woman said with determination shining in her eyes.

Your mother sniffled, wiped her tears and took deep breaths to steady herself. “It’s okay, Akira, I’ll tell her,” your mother choked out.

“No Neige,” Akira said softly and patted your mother’s hand which was lying on the table. “Relax and let me explain. I don’t want you over stressing yourself.” Akira then turned to you and during their encounter you had calmed down and could focus more.

“They know each other,” you thought to yourself. “And they know each other well,” you continued thinking, looking at their entwined hands on the table.

“We all went to the same school together,” you looked at Akira as she began to talk, “your mother, father and I.” She took a deep breath and looked straight into your eyes. “I was in love with your father, Robert; and we had dated since middle school.” You looked at your mother to see that there was no resentment in her eyes. “We were planning on getting married after we graduated,” she laughed softly and then looked at my mother, “and Neige was supposed to be my maid of honor.” Both women laughed softly, past memories floating through their eyes.

“I’m still confused,” you whispered looking at both women. Akira looked at you, “Why didn’t you marry dad?” Tears came to Akira’s eyes and your mother took over with the explanation.

“Akira comes from a very well off family and they didn’t particularly like your father since he wasn’t a man who didn’t seem would make a lot of money in the future.”

“Th-they didn’t see th-the man I saw,” Akira whimpered rubbing the tears from her eyes before they fell. She took another deep breath and looked to the side. “They didn’t see how loving, caring, loyal and funny he was. They only saw the disappointment he could have brought upon the family.” A single tear rolled down her cheek and it was your mother who wiped it away. She looked at her and then at you once again. “That’s why they had arranged a marriage between me and one of the sons of their cooperate partners. They brought me back to Japan and I never saw Robert again.” She looked down and whispered the rest of her explanation. “But I only left ten months after graduation.” She then looked straight at you and smiled. “After I had, you.”

You didn’t know why but you felt tears fall from your eyes. Wiping them away, your mother then slid her arms around you and gave you a comforting hug. After she released you, you looked at Akira and then at the person you were calling mom your whole life. “You and dad looked so happy though; I would never have thought that you didn’t love him,” you whispered.

“Your mother closed her eyes and sadly smiled. “I did love your father.” She then opened her eyes and looked at the cross necklace that hung around your neck. The last gift your father had given you. “It didn’t start off that way. Your father and I were best-friends even before we met Akira, but we thought it would be for the best if we got married. So you would have a mother and father.” She then looked at you and smiled. “We grew to love each other but never lost our friendship. I knew that his heart would forever belong to Akira and I accepted that.” She pulled you toward her and hugged you as if it would be both your last. “Not once have I regretted it though, because I had the pleasure of calling you my daughter.”

The dam finally burst opened and the tears began to fall from your eyes like rivers. Broken sobs broke from your lungs and you held on to your mother to remain grounded on this plain. Your mother began to hum and comfort you saying that it would be all right.

You didn’t know how long you had cried for but in the end you were just hugging your mother, your head on her shoulder with your eyes closed, falling asleep to her gentle rocking. During the time of your break down, Akira had brought it upon herself to make tea for all of you and sandwiches to further calm yourselves. Placing it on the tabled, your mother thanked her and pushed you upwards off of her to check how you were.

“Are you alright Rose?” she asked softly and you nodded your head yes and went to grab a sandwich.

Akira seated herself and folded her hands around her cup of tea. “I’m so sorry about this Roselyn. I hope you can forgive me,” she said gently as to not startle you further.

You shook your head and softly smiled at her and then rubbed at your red rimmed eyes, removing the excess water. “There’s nothing to forgive,” you sniffed and brought your cup of tea up to take a sip. “I just would never have imaged this ever happening,” you chuckled, sipping again from your tea.

Akira and your mother chuckled as well looking at each other. “But out of curiosity,” they both turned to look at you, “and I don’t mean anything rude by it,” you said raising your hands in defense. Akira just smiled and tilted her head. You brought your hands down and looked down at your cup. “Why are you here? Now, I mean?” you asked looking back up at her.

Akira’s smile faded and she looked back at your mother who in turn nodded her head for Akira to continue. Akira then turned back to you. “My family never knew about you and I wanted it to stay that way. I wanted you to have a normal, loving life. My husband found out though but never said anything until he told my father on his death bed” –you gasped in surprise and she just waved her hand as if it was no big deal—“and so my family now knows about you. After my husband died I was confronted by my father and he was furious. Although, not in the way I thought he would be.” She stopped for a moment to catch her breath. “You see, not long after I had you, I developed a cancer in my uterus and I could no longer have children. My father for years now was frightened that there wouldn’t be an heir to our company and he was actually relieved when he heard of you. Disappointed in me for have you behind my families back but relieved just the same. Now, they want you to come back with me to Japan.”

You gasped with surprise and fear. What? NO! You didn’t know these people; they were family yes but they didn’t raise you. Your mother did! And what about your family, school, your friends?

“I can’t,” you said forcibly, not realizing you said that out loud.

Akira looked at you sadly and your mother made you look at her by turning her head with her hand. “I’m sorry my beautiful Rose but I can’t stop them from taking you,” she said sadly, tears once again her eyes.

“What!” you said shocked. “Why not!” you demanded in desperation.

“Because there bringing me to court for custody over you and I’m sorry honey but I don’t have the resources they have. They’ll win either way we handle this,” she said, pleading for you to understand.

“Your family’s sick,” you said angrily turning to Akira.

“I never said they weren’t,” she said without remorse. “I didn’t want this to happen, Roselyn. Not to you. Not in a million years.”

There was heavy silence for some time before you spoke. “There’s no other way,” you said; not much as a question but as a fact.

“No,” Akira said sadly. She then got up and put her cup in the sick and then turned back towards you and your mother. “We leave in two days. Enough time for you to pack your things and say goodbye.” She then turned and left the house; each step remorseful.