Always Tip the Waiter

Disclaimer: I don’t own YYH! I do, however, own the character that is to be introduced in this chapter. He is mine and I won’t tolerate his being used. Well, he can be used by Hiei and Yoko, but that’s it! And any other hot anime guy that I happen to like. Maybe I’ll explain him to you… Please review and thanks to those that already have!
Warning: Yaoi!!!!
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“So,” Kuronue leaned forward on his elbows. “What are your thoughts?”

“Thoughts?” Kurama echoed, “Which ones?”

Kuronue rolled his eyes, “The ones on your feisty little bitch.”

“Vixen. Not bitch,” Kurama admonished gently, “And I plan to visit him again tonight. Maybe I should bring a gift. Fire demons like rubies, don’t they?” He opened a leather pouch and began fishing through it. After a few minute’s rummaging he brought out a large and beautifully cut diamond.

“What about this?” He held it out to Kuronue, who simply stared at him.

“...What!” Kurama snapped.

Kurama smiled at his friend. It wasn’t a happy smile. It was one Kurama had seen many times before. It was a smile that was reserved for when Kurama was acting stupid in Kuronue’s opinion.

“What are you smiling about!” The fur on Kurama’s tail began to bristle as he stood.

“Calm down,” Kuronue gently pushed Kurama back into his chair. “I just find it amusing that you’re acting much like you did when you were courting that mortal. What was his name?”

“Ikha,” Kurama ground out.

“Oh, yes,” Kuronue tapped his chin with a thoughtful expression, “I remember him. As I recall, he somewhat resembles your new toy.”

“How so?”

“Well, they both are short, have black hair, soft skin according to you, feisty dispositions, and hate your guts. Did I leave anything out?”

Kurama sniffed indignantly, “Ikha didn’t hate me!”

“He tried to cut your head off! Remember? He grabbed a sword and started swinging at you.”

Kurama glared at him, “He soon warmed up to me.”

“That’s beside the point. The point is that you’re acting the same way,” Kuronue began speaking in a high squeaky voice.

“Does he like diamonds? Maybe I should bring him a sapphire instead. Or maybe some flowers?”
If Kuronue had been paying attention, he would have noticed that Kurama’s ki was rising. And that a vine was creeping up the back of his chair. Kuronue’s hands flew to his neck as the vine wrapped tightly around it, effectively cutting off his air.

“You know, if you were anyone else, I would take off your head for that.” Kurama began rummaged throught the pouch again, ignoring Kuronue, who was scrabbling desperately at the vines. He also ignored the rest of the patrons, who were openly staring.

“What do you think? The ruby or the diamond?” Kurama casually held up two gems for his now blue friend to see. Kuronue quickly raised a hand and pointed frantically at the ruby. As he did, the plants released him and slithered away. He coughed and desperately drew in deep gulps of air. Kurama eyed the ruby critically before pocketing it.

“I guess this may do. But I’ll need you to head back to the den to pick up the jewelry case I stole a few months ago.”

Kuronue groaned as the silver fox practically skipped across the room and out he door.

“Oh, Inari. What did I do to deserve this?”

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Hiei scrubbed harshly at his skin with some sand from the bottom of the spring. “Stupid Kitsune! Why the hell can’t I get rid of his stench!” ‘Simple, he had his tongue down your throat and his hand on your ass.’A little voice told him. A very hot tongue. Shouldn’t being a fire demon make it feel cold. No, it had felt very warm. And wet. And good. The kitsune was an expert kisser, he’d give him that. The thought only made him scrub harder. He’d scrub his skin off if he had to in order to get rid of that smell.

“Damn bastard. If I ever see him again it will be too soon.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Hiei froze and slowly looked over his shoulder, hoping that perhaps he had mistaken the voice and it was some one else. Nope. It was definetly Kurama.

“What do you want?” he hissed.

Kurama frowned, “Well, for one I would like a decent welcome. A simple ‘Hello’ would be nice.”

“Why should I be polite!” Hiei snarled, “You’re the one who didn’t even ask for my consent before you jammed your tongue down my throat.”

Kurama flecked a piece of imaginary dust off his tunic while discreetly trying to see exactly what that water felt it had the right to hide.

“You consented enough to suit me.”

“Next time, ask,” Hiei grumbled.

Kurama raised an eyebrow. “You’re offering?”

“Just get to the point!” Hiei yelled at him.

Kurama sighed in mock defeat, “I bring you a gift.” He held out a small leather pouch and placed it one Hiei’s clothing, which he then set back into its original position on the rock. He then stood and, after giving Hiei a flirtatious smile, turned and faded into the darkness.
Hiei stood, stunned, before he recovered his mind.

“Wait! You stupid kitsune! How did you find me!” No answer. Hiei growled in frustration before he zipped over and donned his clothing as fast as he could. There was no way in hell he was giving that kitsune a show. He then looked down at the pouch and cautiously poked it. When it didn’t blow up or move, he reached in and pulled out a beautiful ruby and a folded piece of paper. With curiosity killing him, he opened it.
Kohna
I hope you will accept this gem as a token of my affection. And as an apology for my behavior. Leaving you like that was very rude of me. Next time I promise to finish the job. Of course, if you want to finish yourself next time, let me know so that I may watch.

Hiei’s mouth fell open in shock.

Till we meet again, my lovely little Kohna.

Kurama
P.S. I’ll be arranging for your new wardrobe. You should show off more of that delightful little body..

Hiei stared at the ruby before he turned and flung it into the spring. “FUCK YOU, KITSUNE!”

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Kuronue lounged on the bed in their room, waiting. Waiting for Kurama to realize that there was no way in hell he was going to go on a twelve hour round trip hike just to pick up a chest for his newest toy.

“I guess he won’t be coming back any time soon. Stupid kitsune,” he sighed, “Maybe I’ll go get good and smashed.”

He pushed himself off the bed and strode out the door, down the hall, and down the stairs. He plopped down into the table they’d been at earlier, effectively scaring off the demons who were already threre. Man. This sucks. He thought. Kurama found a toy and he left me here with no one but... Kuronue’s thoughts trailed off. Which in case anyone is wondering, that never happens to him.

Standing across the room, currently taking some one’s order, was a vision of loveliness. Long silver hair, pale skin, and one hell of an ass as far as he could tell. Discreetly he wiped his mouth to make sure he was rid of any drool. His heart began to beat faster as the creature straightened and began to make its sultry way towards his table. A delicate, heart-shaped face, a petite but curvy body, a...AAAAHHHH!
Poor Kuronue nearly jumped out of his skin as a large pair of breasts nearly took his head off. He realized after a quick investigation that some one was sitting on his lap. A rather familiar some one.

“Hello there, handsome. I see you came back?”

“Not for you,” he muttered, peering over Yaone’s head. The vision of loveliness had disappeared, leaving him alone once again. Great. I need to get laid so badly I’m hallucinating. LIFE SUCKS!

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“Ah, the thrill of being in love once again. Or lust, anyway.” Kurama leaned back on the tree branch. I wonder where my dear is now? Swooning over my lovely gift? Searching desperately so as to thank me? I wonder how I should accept his gratitude? With open arms? Modestly?

“What do you think, my darlings? Should I be modest? Slightly cold so as to make him desperate to regain my attention?” The plants around him rustled, as though a sudden breeze had swept through them.

“You’re right. I’m too perfect for modesty. I should say you’re welcome and get straight to the fucking.” The plants around him rustled again in agreement.

“You’re right. I should go see him right now. I’m sure he’s had enough time to figure out what he’s doing.” He hopped off the tree branch and landed gracefully on his feet. With a jaunty smirk, he sauntered off to receive the adoration he deserved.

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Kuronue hummed quietly to himself, being bored out of his mind as he was. Getting drunk no longer held its appeal. What if I meet that vision of loveliness and are too drunk to notice? He didn’t even look up when Kurama slid into the seat across from him. The kitsune was silent, and without even looking up Kuronue could tell he was fuming. About what, he wasn’t sure. After several minutes of this uncomfortable silence, Kuronue sighed.

“Okay. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Right and I’m the queen of Shiva.”

“Your majesty.”

“Come on, what’s wrong?”

Kurama sank into his seat and mumbled something.

“Come again?”

“I think I’ve been….rejected.”

Kuronue stared. Had he heard this right? Kurama rejected?

“By what? A dead heterosexual turtle?” Kurama sank further down into his seat.

“That wouldn’t have been quite as bad.” He said in a quiet dejected voice.

“Okay. Explain.”

“Well.” Kurama took a deep breath, as if the story pained him greatly. Knowing Kurama, it probably did.

“You see, I gave Hiei the gift-“

‘So it was him.”

“And when I went back to accept his no doubt overwhelming gratitude, I found him gone and my present at the bottom of the spring!” Kurama looked ready to burst into tears.

“Okay……”

“And I think I’ve been rejected! The first time I’ve ever wanted some one and they don’t want me! I feel so alone!” Kuronue yawned. Great. Kurama was to the point where he’s all alone in the world.

“Have you considered the idea that he’s straight?” Kurama immediately sat up straight and grinned.

“Of course not! I just wanted a little sympathy! Because no one can resist me for long!”

“Well, I tried.” He let out a sigh as he imagined the troubles lying ahead for poor Hiei. Then a pair of drinks were set down in front of him.

“Oh. I ordered us some drinks, Kurama.” Kuronue said as he pulled his drink towards him. He looked up the thank their waiter and froze. It was she. That gorgeous creature. The beautiful, silver haired waitress.

“Do I look like a fucking girl to you?”

Waiter…… Hot Damn! And what a gorgeous waiter he was! Lovely ivory skin, small full lips, incredibly dark eyes framed by long lashes. Gorgeous!

“I’m sorry! I just thought it be the same person who took our order! Silly me!” He laughed sheepishly, feeling incredibly stupid. The waiter only shrugged.

“I’ll forgive you. You’re cute.” The waiter turned on his heel and strode back towards the bar, with Kuronue’s eyes on his pert ass the entire way. Kurama leaned back in his chair and grinned.

“Now who’s acting stupid?”

“Shut up.”

TBC.
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