Another fanfic?

Frist off I want to thank Mistress of Dragons for allowing me, little ole me, to MST her fic. *Gives MD a hug and pats Saishou and Skarr on the head* Thank you guys for not destroying anything majorly important.

Disclaimers- Given: YYH not mine, Cards and Kisses not mine *points to MD* hers. *MD bows and crowds goes wild, wolves bay and dragons blow fire of happniess. Burning down the arena and giving over half the people third degree burns* See children this is why they don't allow canines into most places because one you let the canines in you got to let the dragons in too. It's all fun and game until your flesh melts off.
Now with that little image dancing in your head. It's storytime.
-------------------------------------

Kurama is in the shower singing along with the radio and since no one was home to complain it was too loud it was cranked up three notches short of max.. He is completly unaware that Hiei and Yusuke are lounging in his room. Hiei is lying in his bed resting, he had already removed his boots and sword, not wanting to here Kit nag about having dirty shoes and bloody sword prints on his clean comforter. Yusuke is sitting in his desk chair leaning back dangerously on the two back legs, looking around at everything and touching everthing with in reach.
"Isn't he done yet?" Yusuke asks.
"How sd I d I know I'm not in there with him." Hiei says turning his head to look at the spirt detective.
"True, but I bet you wish you were." Yusuke says trying get a rise out of the relaxing demon.
"Hn, isn't that your little fantasy?" Hiei asks with one eyebrow raised. "Does the phrase 'fuck me daddy' ring a bell."
"Ha" Yusuke barks "I didn't say that Kurama did."
"Yes, and you would enjoy hearing him say it again."
"I..but ...no ..we..." Yusuke flusters
"Humans are so entertaining." Hiei teases returning back to his former postion.
Kurama turns off the shower dries himself off then wraps the towel around his head since the only part of him that is still wet happens to be his hair. He saunters into his bedroom not to terrible surprised to see Hiei, because of the open window rule they had set. Whenever his window in unlock Hiei has the right to just come in. Simple rule yes, but very helpful. Before, Hiei would tap on the window until Kurama opened the it and formally invited him in, heaven forbid if Kurama was busy doing something like sleeping.
Kurama removes the towel from his head and shakes his head making bits of water droplets spray on the fire demon.
"Hello, Hiei. To what do I own this visit?"
"Koemna has gotten his mits on yet another fanfic."
"Nani? I thought for sure we read them all and the ones we didn't that little fire took care of."
"Hn"
"Well, I wonder if Yusuke knows about this? Wait a minute how did you find out before me?"
"Yusuke"
"Oh, where is he?" He asks as he tips to his bed to retrieve the boxer laid out along with his clothes. "Thank you for not completly wrinkling my clothes you were lying on." He says sarcassically as he slides them on.
"Hn"
"Anyways, you were telling me where Yusuke was." Hiei points behind him. "What?" Kurama says completly confussed then he turns around and sees a still blushing teenager who is staring at something vastly interesting on the ground.
"Gomen, Yusuke I didn't know you were here."
"No prob" Yusuke finally chokes out. "Well, I guess we should get going." he say jumping up and exiting the room in a bit of a haste.
Kurama and Yusuke have been walking down the street chatting back and forth while Hiei ran cross tree tops and roof tops. Finally coming down when they neared the theater.
Yusuke busts in yelling," Where in the hell did you get another fic from?" as he glare at Koenma.
"Oh, this." Koenma smiles holding up a new fiction, "It was given to me by..."
"Some sick person bent on making us suffer." Hiei interupts. He walks over to the rest of the gang minus Kuwabara. "Give me some candy so we can get this over with." Koemna tosses him a large bag. He walks off, the others follow.
"Hey guys over here." Kuwabara shouts waving his hand.
"Hello, Kuwabara" Kurama says with his trademark smile and pleasentness.
"Baka, like we couldn't of found him in a empty theater." Hiei mummble under his breathe
"Be nice." Kurama says elbowing him. Yusuke snickers. They all sit down.
"So, Kuwabara what is this little ditty about?" Yusuke asks as he sits down beside him.
"I have no idea." he says stuffing his mouth with another handful of popcorn.
The screen goes white and the light so out.
"No matter looks like we are going to be finding out any minute anyways" Kurama remarks pointing at the screen.

*Disclaimer: I own not Yu Yu Hakusho.*

"Mm, a nice and simple disclaimer a bit on the Shakespearean side." Kurama says leaning back in his chair after he hands a soda to Hiei.
"I own not a straw, too suck the sweet ambosia of this paper vessel bequithed apon me by my hearts true friend. How long will thine torment my soul." Hiei say dramaticly. Kurama shakes his head and hand him a straw while Yusuke and Kuwabara golf clap.
"I'm surprised you guys actually knew who Sheakspeare was."
"Who?" they both say in unison.
""Naw I was just clapping because this is the frist time he has said more than five word at one time." Yusuke says rubbing his head.
"And none of them were, Hn or baka." Kuwabara adds

*Is that such a surprise?*

"Oh yes, I am completly thrown for a loop I thought for sure we were owned by a fan." Yusuke replys mockingly

*I do own my original characters, my poetry and the voices in my head.*

"Oh that is scary."
"What the fact she hears voices?"
"No, the fact she actually ocharcharacters." Hiei says with a rare look of fear on his face.

*Mistress of Dragons(MD)-"Greeting rea readers and fellow authors! Welcome to the tortured corridors of my mind." Skarr-"Disrespect dragons and die!" Saishou-"Disrespect wolves and suffer." Skarr-"Pathetic. . . stupid wolf. . . can't even threaten the puny humans properly. . ." *

"...." They all look at Kurama. He just shakes his head.
"Well at least she has the sense to name her voices" Kuwabara explains
"Great, so she a well organized schizo." Yusuke says

*MD-"Skarr, stop it. Now oh readers, this is my first Yu Yu Hakusho fic.*

"Ok, something is amiss in that sentence. A coma, word flip or something." Kurama says examing the screen.
"Please don't tell me that you are going to correct every grammar mistake." Yusuke whines.
"Fine Mr. I proof read ppare know."

* I have seen a few episodes and read some of the manga so expect some oocness and mistakes. I ask that you politely correct me if I do make them."*

"Oh, goody our lifes are going to be forever immortalized on paper by a self proclaimed non-expert," Hiei says. Then adds, "What is oocness?"
"It stands for Out Of Character 'ness'" Kurama explains to a cofussed fire demon. "It would be like if they wrote you sucked at swordplay."
"That would be a lie." Hiei boost sticking his chest out.

* Saishou-"Will the silver kitsune be in this? I would like to meet him." MD-"Kurama won't have a big part in this.*

"Aw, you won't be the star of this one." Yusuke says batting his eyes.
"No worries Kurama, there is no such thing as a little parts just little actors." Kuwabara points out, "Or at least I think that what someone said...or was it just because you have a bit part doesn't make you a two-bit actor...or maybe it was..."
"Thank you, thank you." Kurama interupts, "Thank you Kuwabara."

* This is mostly a Yusuke and Kuwabara fic.*

Yusuke and Kuwabara look at each other and say "Ewwww."
"Should I?"
"Yeah." Yusuke reply
Kuwabara gets up and moves one seat over.
"Thanks man."
"No problem, trust me no problem at all."
"Well I guess there is some good in not always being the star." Kurama remarks
"I feel a bit of YAOI comming on." Hiei say
"We love Yaoi!!" Kurama squeals in rabid fangirl voice. "Now let us guess who will be playing the recieving end. Hmmm."
Hiei and Kurama lean foward to look at the two humans. The frist look at Kuwabara.
"Hell no." Hiei and Kuwabara say together.
"He doesn't fit the profile" Hiei states
"Thanks, man"
"He is far too ugly for someone to want to fuck him." Hiei reasons.
"What you mean, no one would want to screw me? What's wrong with my ass?" Kuwarbara says trying to defend his honor. "Wait that didn't come out right."
Everyone look at the Spirit Detective leader who is slouched way down in his chair in hopes the chair itself will hide him.
"Well, he does have nice eyes."
"And he has a couple of outfits. You know the sinfully tight jeans and the cut-off t-shirt."
"Guys, is it just me but, if you remove a couple of letters from Yusuke's name you end up with...."
"I do believe we have found our selfs a winner." Kurama say gleefully.
"Yusuke Urameshi, bend on down your thxt cxt contestant on ' My ass is Tight'" Hiei says in his best game show voi "T "That's right. And tonight's prize is, not one, not two but three yes count them three tubes of strawberry flavor lube." Kurama adds in his excited announcer's voice.

*It was inspired by reading the manga*

"You're the meaning in my life, ohhhh you're the the inspiration." Hiei sings
"You've been watching latenight television again, haven't you?" Kurama asks the crooning demon in black.
"...to the end of tiiiiimhen hen you love somebody, always on your miiiind..." Hiei continues.

* where Yusuke gets his body back. Kuwabara's reaction to the dream of him kissing Yusuke seemed a little off to me. . .*

"Yes it was a bit off I felt I should have screamed a lot more after such a dream." Kuwabara says with a shudder.
"Don't you worry, I am pretty sure MD will have you screamng in this one." Kurama says Yusuke chuckles. \ch ich it pretty boy, we have already established your part and I am fairly sure you will be doing a good amount of srcreamis wes well." he then adds.
"Hmuph, look we don't even know if this is really going to YAOI it could just be a buddy fic, no sex, just hand shakes and pats on the back." Yusuke says hopefully.

* and then there was the fact that he was dwelling on it and the fact that I like yaoi. Mostly the fact that I just like yaoi. . . *

Yusuke sighs, "Well so much for that little theory."
"Hey man you tried." Kuwabara says patting Yusuke shoulder.
"Say, good buddy could you do me a favor." Kurama asks in Kuwabara's voice
"Yes, my friend." Hiei replys sounding like Yusuke.
"My dick is a bit cold, and I was wondering..."
"Say no more"
"Thanks man."
"No problem, hey if you can't depend on your friend for a warm ass to place your cold dick in than what can you depend on." Hiei say proudly in Yusuke's voice.
"This is going to a long, long day" Yusuke mummbles hanging his head down and shaking it

*Speaking of yaoi I should get to the warnings. . ." Warings-yaoi, PWP, *

"Plot? What plot?" Yusuke say
"'N' what 'n'." Kurama remarks.

*Yusuke/Kuwabara pairing, swearing, card games, sex, oocness(probably. I don't believe I have seen/read enough to portray the characters totally accurately.), innuendos. . . and I think that that's it.*

"Hell yeah there going to be a big truck load of cursing." Yusuke says outrightly
"Hmm, like Kuwabara make me your bitch and fuck my ass now?" Hiei asks.
"Wow, Hiei now thats a truck load of cursing but since he is going to a bit ooc, he probably will yell Kuwabara sir could you please make me your bitch and fuck my ass now.'" Kurama explains.
"I think the fact that I am going to be screwed merciless by my teammate isn't even the tip of this preverbal iceburg we call OOC" Yusuke huffs.
"Yusuke, clam down man it's just a fic, at least you got a warning label for you fic. Kurama didn't even have that on his fic." Kurwabara says still wondering about the fact no warning was placed on Kurama's fic.

*MD-"Now on with the tale. . ."*

"Excuse me. What the fuck were we reading?" Hiei yells holding a empty bag of candy.
"That was the disclaimer." Kurama says.
"I gotta go, I be back." Yusuke says getting up
"Yeah I got go to the bathroom too." Kuwabara say as he starts to get up.
Hiei and Kurama look at Yusuke and than Kuwabara and smile.
"On second thought, I will just wait here."

* Note: I ply soy some rather unusual house rules as far as Rummy is concerned and have used these rules in this fic. The game of Rummy depicted in this fic is an actual real life game during which I kept track of each card played and drawn, no easy feat believe me.*

"Do you believe?" Kurama asks
"I beleive."
"I said, do you believe?"
"Oh yes, yes I believe, I believe" Hiei shouts.
"Believe the both of you have lost your freakin' minds that's what I beleive." says glacing at the two.
"Well, now I believe you boyfriend is back." Hiei say.
"Hiei, don't say that." Kurama says.
"Thanks Kurama. Yeah, shrimp Yusuke is not my boyfriend." Kuwarbara
"Alright, your fucktoy is back." Hiei say.
"Much, better." Kurama say patting Hiei head.

* Cards and Kisses "I'll take two." Kuwabara drawls laying two cards down, before running a hand through his orangish hair.*

"Well gooolllyy, I didn't know you talth ath a country accent." Yusuke says in his best southern voice.

* Kurama nods gracefully and pulls the cards off the deck extending them to Kuwabara.*

"Amazing even while playing cards you are still gracefully." Yusuke says
"Thank you."

* Kuwabara picks them up and suddenly breaks into a wide sloppy grin, "All right!" His outburst is met by groans from the others around the table.*

"Not amazingly Kuwabara is still sloppy." Hiei add.
"Hey"

* Hiei, sitting across the table from Kuwabara, snorts and throws his cards down, "I'm out." He stands as if to leave, "This stupid ningen game is no fun if the buffoon can't keep a strait face." *
"So are you leaving or do you plan to stand there?" Yusuke asks.
"Well, I am somewhat intrigued with the strait Kuwabara has flowing on his face." Hiei says.
"I think she meant to say straight, honest mistake. Eventhough, the other strait would be highly amuzing." Kurama says.

*Kurama sighs, shaking his head and also throwing his cards down, "Hiei is right Kuwabara. Poker is no fun if you 't k't keep your poker face. I'm out too." *

"Hey, how come I didn't throw my cards down gracefully."
"Sorry, even you can't be graceful all the time."
"But, I can dream." Kurama says.
"Beautiful dreamer" Kuwabara and Yusuke start singing.

* Yusuke gets up and smacks Kuwabara,*

"No fair, I wanted to smack him." Hiei says.
"Ah, yes but the question is what part was smacked." Kurama explains with a raised eyebrow.

* "Idiot! You can't even play poker right!" He glowers at his cards and throws them down in a huff, "Out." *

"Stop abusing the cards."
"Heart of the cards be my guide." Yusuke says in Yu-gi's voice.

*He collapses in his chair with a groan, "Now what? We're out of games and I'm bored!"*

Kurama turns to Yusuke and places a hand on his shoulder, "Yusuke, have you ever thought of attending anger management classes. I mean you seem a bit uptight and all."

* Kuwabara smirks, "No we aren't. We haven't played *

"Spot the uke!" Hiei and Kurama cheer.

*Rummy yet."*

"Rummy? What's next Dominoes and a some saki. Hey is Genki playing too." Yusuke inquires.

* Hiei snarls,*

"Then he bites Kuwabara's leg." Karama says
"OK, who forgot to feed the Hiei?"
"Aw come on pa, I did it last time." Kuwabara drawls.

* "No more ningen card games!" The others nod in agrnt. nt. *

"Like the mindless drones that they are, and now I will take world." Hiei say then laughs evilly
"Give me that." Kurama say snacthing Hiei's drink. "No more mixing pixie stix and Mountain Dew for you."

* Kuwabara grins, "What if we raised the stakes a bit. . . say the losers do whatever the winner wants for an hour?"*

"Hmm there raising the stakes Yusuke and your ass is on the line or it on the table, well where every it is. It's about to get..." Hiei says.
"Screwed!!" Kurama and Hiei shout.
"Must you torture me?" Yusuke asks
"The pain has just started my naive one. Oh yes the pain has only begun." Kurama say than laughs evilly
"You been drinking my soda haven't you?" Hiei question the some what spastic kitsune.
"Buuuurrrrrpp."

* Hiei stops in his tracks and turns,*

"When did I move, last time I was looking at the striat flowing on the fool's face." Hiei remarks.
"Hiei you are well know for leaving once said or had your piece." Yusuke replys looking over to Kurama

*"I won't play. . . but I will watch." He sits down stiffly on the couch.*

"I guess I'll just sit here and play with my organ." Yusuke says in a sad Hiei voice.

* Kurama joins him, *

"Oooo, a duet." Yusuke says, "Now Hiei won't have to play with his organ all alone because we all know that Kurama here can blow and he is pretty good on the skins. I mean once the fox gets to beating that skin and he falls into a nice rythum some thing good always come out." Yusuke finishs before giggling.
"So you could say, the boys got some spunk." Kuwabara bites before laughing.

* "No thank you, I would rather not be at anyone's mercy."*
They all look at Kurama and smile.
" That was one time, one time and I was drunk." Kurama says tring to defend himself.
"Dude, there isn't enough alchol on the world to get me drunk enough to do what you did." Yusuke says with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "How ever I did learn a lot, a whole lot about you."

* Yusuke snorts, "Are you crazy? If you won you would make me umm, crawl around on my hands and knees and call you master or something."*

"Giving him ideas Yusuke?" Kurama says
"Then Yusuke runs to the back and retrieves a pair of handcuffs and a whip placing them on the table telling Kuwaba if he won he might use these things on him." Hiei says.
"I am not even into that stuff. I can't go for that." Yusuke says, than add "Oh god please don't"
"I can't go for that. No no" Kurama starts
"No can can do I. " Hiei sings
"I can't go for that. Can't go for that...."
"You two really need to lay off the after midnight infomercials." Yusuke says.
"I can go for beening twice as nice." Kurama still sings
"Dun, dun" Hiei sounds
"I can go for repeating the same ole line. You got my body now you want my soul. Oh forget about it and say no more." Kurama belts
"I do anything that you want me to do."
"But no whips" Hiei shout.
" Yeah I IIIII I'll do anything to you want me to do." Kurama still sings despite the look on both humans faces.
"Or handcuffs" Hiei adds
"Oh, but I can't go for that." Kurama finishs.
"Thank you Mr. Hall and mini Mr. Oats." Kuwabara says sarcastically.

*Kuwabara grins, "Not a bad idea. . ." he trails off with a dreamy smile on his face.*

" You are sick man, just plain sick." Yusuke says loking over at Kuwabara.
"Lay off it Urameshi, this is just a story. It couldn't be further from the truth" the orange haired boy replys.

* Yusuke backs away, "There's no way I'm playing with you, man." Kuwabara smirks, "What are you, chicken? Urameshi's a chicken! Bawk, bawk, bawk."*

"Chicken, shit I could kick your ass on my worst day." Yusuke boast cockly.
"I highly doubt that, because you can barely beat me on your best day." Kuwabara says staring down the smaller boy.
"Punk." they both say insulting on another.

*Kuwabara starts to hop around the room doing an energetic impression of a chicken.*

"Thank you for that mentally scaring image, authoress" Yusuke say lookinwardwards the ceiling.

* His act is cut short by a punch to the face from Yusuke.*

"Oh, yes thank you for that image." Hiei says almost beaming.

*He stumbles and then launches himself at Yusuke*

"Mission control I do believe we are clear for launch." Kurama says into his cupped hand pretending it is a radio.
"Roger that, countdown in T-minus 32 second and counting" Yusuke answers back in his make-believe hand radio.

* and the two get involved in a brief struggle, wrestling on the ground. Kuwabara ends up on top, his greater weight forcing Yusuke to the floor. He looks slightly surprised, head dipping ever so slightly towards Yusuke, "Uhhh. . ." Laughter from Hiei and Kurama causes him to jerk his head up with a glare. *

"Aw, damn now I do feel bad." Kurama says whole heartedily.
"Hey, I know you didn't mean all those thing you said" Yusuke says thinking Kurama was talking to him.
"Naw, I mean I would be pissed too if people walked in on me if I was about to break a new piece of ass in." Kurama explains.

*He hurriedly rolls off of Yusuke and sits heavily at the table panting slightly and skin flushed.*

"My that was rather quick, Kuwabara." Kurama says
"Oh, I just feel so used." Yusuke sighs sounding like bar maid.

* After a moment he glances at Yusuke, "you're still a chicken, Urameshi." *

"But, now your a chicken who just got laid. *silence* Get it chicken lay eggs Yusuke just got laid.*more silence and stares* I hate you all." Kuwabara sit back and sulks.

* Yusuke gets up in a flash, "Am not!" Kuwabara grins, "Then play with me, or are you afraid?" *

"Yes, I sense much fear in him." Hiei say in Yoda's. "Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to revenage. Revenage leads to horniness. Horniness lead to fucking. Fucking leads to screaming. Screaming lead back to fear."
"That is so not what Yoda said." Yusuke exclaims.
"Hey, he would of if not for that crappy PG rating."

* voicehe picks up the cards and shuffles them before dealing them out quickly, two hands of ten cards each.*

"OK, Kurama help us out." Yusuke say glancing over at Kurama than the screen.
"Uuummmaahh....." Kurama muses bewilderly.

* Yusuke growls,*

"And here I thought only Kurama growls." Hiei says.
The two teenagers look at Kurama "Well at least we now know why no OOC was tacked on to that Kurama and Hiei fic." Kuwabara whispers to Yusuke.

* "Fine, I'll play." He sits down and picks up his hand, "So what are we playing again?" *

"Spot the Uke!" everyone but Yusuke yells.

* Kuwabara smirks, "Rummy. First person to get rid of their hand with a card to discard at the end of their turn wins.*

"You sick demended bastard you want my to chop off my hand with a playing card." Yusuke say with a look of horror on his face.
"Well, that sentence sure paints such a pretty little image in your head." Kurama s
"
"It sure does." Hiei say with a evil smile. "Finally some blood shed no matter how entertaining it was to see Yusuke get man-handled by a monkey, it could never get enough of that stuff we call carnage."

* Runs and groups both allowed. You can't lay off cards unless yove ave a meld down. You can take as many cards as you want from the discard pile as long as you use the bottom card that you pick up that turn. Got it?" "Yeah."*

"Liar!" they all chant.

*Yusuke looks intently at his hand, "Who goes first?" Kuwabara flips over the top card on the remeinder of the deck revealing the king of clubs, "You go." He leers at Yusuke, "I am going to enjoy playing with you, Urameshi. . . Draw." *

" Come here little boy and sit on daddy's lap." Hiei says in Kuwabara voice.

* Yusuke give Kuwabara a glare, *

"Me give bad man glare." Yusuke says caveman style.
"Yusuke I would be nice to MD, so far she hasn't done anything too bad to you. Hell, if it was me I would have been fucked three times by now." Kurama says.
"Meep!, sorry."
"Everyone think I am some sex crazied demon. Well I am not I haven't had sex in (looks at watch) at least five...
"Months?"
"Weeks?"
"Days?"
"...hours" Kurama states proudly."Wait does this include hand jobs?"
"Of course it does." Yusuke states
"Oh, then nevermind"
" I was wondering why Kurama wasn't talking so much and why Hiei was hogging all the napkins." Yusuke says than asks,"How did you get him too...." as the little fire demon walks off some where.
Hiei comes back a few minutes later unwrapping a thick square chocolate cover ice cream bar.
"Kurama just smiles and then asks Hiei "Is that Klondike Bar good." Hiei nods with a full mouth.

*"Shut up. There's no way I'm gonna lose to you, baka." He draws a card and slowly glances ohis his hand frowning. Suddenly he grins broadly, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna win!"*

"Yusuke are you on your cycle because your mood swings are vicious."
"Oh no maybe it's one of those male preg. fics." Hiei says with a shutter.
"What is up with that? I figure I c go go Yaio for a bit and not worry about getting some one knocked up someone throws this male preg in to the pot." Kurama says in a huff.

*Hys dys down the Ace of clubs, spades, and diamonds on the ta "M "My first turn! Beat that!" With a broad smirk Yusuke tosses the 2 of hearts down on the discard pile.*

"And that is not all that will be tossed this evening." Kuwabara mummbles.

* Kuwabara smirks, "Being the first to meld doesn't guarantee winning." He calmly pulls a card from the top of the deck, the 8 of hearts, and quickly lays it down along with the 8 of spades and clubs from his hand.*

"Arrghh, I'm melding. I'm melding. I'm mmmmeeeellllddddiiiinnnnggg." Yusuke cries in wicked witches voice as he slide down in his seat and onto the floor.

*With a quiet chuckle he discards the 2 of diamonds. Yusuke growls and draws a card before laying the 3 of hearts, spades and diamonds on the table, "Two in a row! You're going down! I should start thinking about what I'm going to have you do." Yusuke trials off grinning cockily.*

"Hee,hee spade." Hiei says like Bevis
"Going down." Yusuke says sounding a lot like Butthead.
"Whoa, cock." they both exclaim together in altered voices before snickering uncontrolable.

* Kuwabara simply draws and then discards saying not a word, a small smile on his face. Yususke laughs, "Worried yet?" He draws and his laugh changes into a growl and he discards, "Damn! No moves." Kuwabara chuckles and draws the 10 of clubs and discards it with barely a glance. *

"Kurama"
"Yes, Hiei."
"Where did we go?"
"I have no idea."
"Will we be coming back?"
"I wish I knew."

*He glances at his hand and drops his head to the table with a groan, "I shouldn't have done that. . ." Yusuke laughs loudly, "You baka! *

"What?!? That's my word. Yusuke I swear if you say Hn I will string you up by your nuts and beat you within the inch of your life." Hiei yells trying to climb over Kurama to get to Yusuke.
"It's a fiction, man. It's a fiction." Yusuke says frantically keeping out of reach.
"Wait a minute." Kuwabara stammers "you mean to tell me you finally use the 'it's a fiction' bit now after all those uke jokes."
"Man my balls were at stake." In his Tony Montana voice Yusuke says "All I have in this world is my balls and my word."
"I truly loathed the day he saw that movie. All day long he would walk up to some on then drag me over and say ala Tony 'Say hello to my little friend'" Hiei says shaking his head.

*You can't even play the game you suggested properly!" Withmirkmirk he picks up the 10 of clubs that Kuwabara had just discarded. Wanotanother laughs he lays a card down, "Your turn loser." *

"Would anybody be to upset if I took this moment to take a piss." Kuwabara asks as he stood up to leave.
"Naw"
"That would be quite alright."
"Only if you promise to flush yourself down the drain."

* Kuwabara growls for a moment then draws. *

"Why is everybody growling? Has everyone turned into dogs" Yusuke aks.
"I don't know maybe there's going to be a full moon." Kurama manages to say with a straight face.

*He smirks and lays down the King of diamonds, hearts and spades. "I haven't lost yet, Urameshi. It is very easy to turn the tables in Rummy." He discards and gestures for Yusuke to draw. *

"This might take awhile." Kurama says looking around.
"What make you say that?" Yusuke and Hiei
"You two obviously have never played rummy."

*Yusuke draws and lays down the 8 of diamonds on his side of the table and discards leaving only 2 cards in his hand. Kuwabara smirks, "See? Now you are stuck. *

"Not a single word." Yusuke says through gritted teeth.
Kuwabara finally comes back he sits down, "So what did I miss?"
"Yusuke's stuck."
"Oh what is he stuck on?" Kuwabara asks innocently.
"I'm not sure but you sure seem happy about it." Hiei says with a slight smile.

* Even if you do draw a card that lets you lay down those two you can't discard and that means you can't win." He draws and quickly lays down the Queen of spades, diamond and hearts. Afterwards he discards the 10 of hearts. Yusuke scowls and draws then grins laying the 3 of hearts down on the other threes before discarding.*

Kurama leans over to Hiei and whispers some thing in his ear then gets up. Hiei nods smiles and then stand up. Kurama strolls out and Hiei mummbles some excuse shoves his hand in his pockets and quickly walks out to catch up with Kurama.

* Kuwabara wordlessly draws and then discards the 10 of spades. Yusuke crows and scoops several cards off the pile ending with theof hof hearts. He plays the 10 of hearts, spades and clubs then discards leaving himself with one card.*

"I forgot why are we playing this game?" Yusuke asks
"I think so I can win then have my way with you." Kuwabara responds.
"Oh, Kuwabara."
"Yeah, Urameshi."
"Could you do me a favor, the next time you have the desire to fuck me could you just ask because this game is taking very long time."

* Kuwabara draws and discards the 6 of diamonds. Yusuke picks it up with the other sixes in the pile and lays them down and discards again leaving himself with one card. He scowls in frustration.*

"I know how you feel man, Kuwabara just call 'Rummy' and fuck me!" Yusuke yells at the screen
" Umm, Urameshi?"
"Sorry, patience is not one of my strong points."

* Kuwabara laughs and scoops several cards from the discard pile laying down the fives. He discards and smirks at Yusuke, "You won't win now. . . Care to forfeit?" Yusuke snaps back, "No way! I won't give up." He draws and discards with a groan. Kuwabara smiles, "That's why I like you." *

"Just a reminder Kuwabara, if you ever lean across a table smile and say 'That why I like you.' I will hurt you. If by chance I ever do somehow end up with your cock in any part of my anamony, I want to think extreme horniness and strong sake aided greatly in my decision and not because you said you liked me. Agreed."
"Argeed"

*He too draws and discards looking quite pleased. The game then falls into a rhythm of draw and discard with no moves being made. Yusuke gets increasingly upset and fidgety and several times Kuwabara chuckles sofly giving the appearance of being calm and collected.*

"I am noticing how she managed to leave out cool. Isn't suppose to be calm cool and collected." Kuwabara notes.
"Hmm, let's see I'm freaking out over a game and you are appearing to be clam and collected. Oh yes that ugly beast we call OoC is wreaking havoc once again." Yusuke says.

* Hiei looses interest quickly and wanders into the kitchen and Kurama follows muttering something about demons and keeping them away from modern appliances. *

"Speaking of the demons where are they?" Kuabara asks looking past Yusuke and at the two empty seats. "I mean how long does it take someone to get an ice cream bar."
"Oh that all depends on whatcha gotta do for it." Yusuke answer knowing a bit more than Kuwabara making the tall teen wonder if he missed something.


*When the others are gone Kuwabara leans over the table and whispers, "I can't wait to win. . . I already know what I'm going to have you do. You have no idea how long I've waited for this."*


Yusuke looks at Kuwabara. "Yes, yes I know dead man." Kuwabara says waving his hand tring to dismiss Yusuke's glare.

* He calmly scoops up several cards and lays down the 4 of hearts, spades and diamonds then discards leaving him with only one card. Yusuke snarls and scoops up the whole discard pile laying down 3 7s all four twos and the king of clubs before discarding leaving a small hand, "you said that one card was bad, baka. Now you have one and I have three. Who's gonna win now?" Yusuke laughs seeming to relish his apparent victory. Kuwabara shakes his head, "I may not be good at a lot of things*

"Oh my now that's the understatement of the year."
"Watch it Urameshi, you might be a friend but it doesn't mean I won't kick your ass."
"According to the author you want to do a little more to my ass than kick it."
It was Kuwabara's turn to say the phase that pays "This is just a fan fic."

* but I am good at Rummy. It is bad to have one card early in the game but when so many cards have been melded it is a good strategy for an easy win. I don't have to wait for a specific card. . . all I need is a card that fits with one of the melds already on the table and there are quite a few." Kuwabara smirks and draws a card, "See? I have already won." He lays down the 5 of clubs and discards leaving him with no cards left.*

"Finally." Yusuke says
"Finally what?" Hiei says as he walks towards the two boys carries a paper bag.
"Yes, Yusuke what happenend?" Kurama say as he saunters in.
"Well, while you two were gone doing Emna knows what we were in here reading and we just got past the whole card game and I won." Kuwabara says proudly
"Ah ha, Kurama?"
"Yes Hiei that would be an excellent example of OoC."

* Yusuke stands up face reflecting shock and disbelief, "WHAT?! No way!!" Hiei and Kurama reappear suddenly both looking rather flustered and excited.*

"Were back. Yah, I missed me." Kurama eeps.
Yusuke and Kuwabara look at Kurama who is smiling then glance over at Hiei. "It's a kitsune thing." Hiei says shaking his head.
They all look back over at Kurama who is a bit too excited about the fact his character has reappeared.

*Hiei chuckles, "The idiot won? Impressive." Yusuke charges him but he dodges easily, knocking Yusuke down. *

"Now class notices how the authoress blends the obvious lie of me actually calling anything that a human does as impressive with me calling him an idiot." Hiei says.
"Yes the blending of contradictions play nicely together." Kurama adds
"I do belive I will enjoy the rest of this fic."
"As will I Hiei infact I do believe I feel the utmost respect for this particular writter."
"Alas Kurama I must say my heart feels the same way."
"Yeah. You both seem a bit too complementry." Yusuke says looking at the two ways too happy demons " Hiei your t-shirt is inside out and your missing a belt. Kurama you missed a button and you have something in your hair." he adds as he leans forward and plucks a peice of popcorn out of Kurama hair.

* Kurama just laughs and settles on the couch, "So what are you going to make him do Kuwabara?" Kuwabara smiles and licks his lips, "Something I've been waiting for. . . for a long time. . ."*

Yusuke glares at Kuwarbara.
"A fic man, a fic. Not true so not true." Kuwabara states.

* Yusuke visibly pales from his position on the floor*

"This is you yaoi captain speaking. At this time I need all ukes to get their asses in the locked in up right position." Kurama remarks in his television pilot's voice.

* and Kuwabara chuckles, "Kurama why don't you go get Hiei some ice cream?" Kurama raises an eyebrow, "Trying to get rid of us? Do you want some time alone?" He chuckles smoothly. Kuwabara laughs, "Yeah. Yusuke is my friend. I'm gonna really enjoy playing with him for the next hour but embarrassing him in front of you guys would be cruel."*

"I played with my imaginary friends. I played with myself. Now I wanna play with yooouuu." Kurama says in Gage's voice.
Hiei shudders "Kurama don't do that it's too disturbing, you know how much that kid give me the creeps."
"When did you see 'Pet Sematary'?" Yusuke asks
"We watched it about three months a go and he still check under my bed when he stops by."

* Yusuke struggles to his feet relief warring with suspicion and nervousness. Hiei gles les in protest but Kurama whispers something in his ear and he obediently follows Kurama out.*

"What?" Kurama pipes trying to act innocent.

* Kuwabara waits till the others are gone and smiles, "lie down on the couch and close your eyes." *

"And don't mind me as I remove your pants and slide two fingers up your...." Kurama coos suductivily in Kuwabara's voice.
"Hey!!" Yusuke and Kuwabara both shout.

*Yusuke backs up a step looking scandalized, "What?! What the hell are you planning? Uh-uh, no way I'm doing that." Kuwabara shrugs, "It was part of the bet. You do everything I say for an hour. If you don't I'll tell everyone that you backed out on a bet because you're a chiken." Yusuke gulps and stands still for several minutes clenching and unclenching his fists, "You better not. . ." He trails off and lies stiffly on the couch closing his eyes.*

"I wonder where he is trailing off to, maybe he is getting some jelly." Hiei says
"Why do I have the feeling you are not talking about Smuckers."wabawabara say with a small cringe.
"That's right KYJelly is brought to you by the family of Fuckers." Hiei says in radio announcer's voice.
"When was the last time I mentioned that you two were hentia?" Kuwabara ask.

* Kuwabara sits down next to him with a small smile, "I've been waiting for this so long. . ." Yusuke squirms feeling Kuwabara's weight against his side. He starts to open his eyes, "What the?! Mpmmm. . ." He is cut off when Kuwabara swoops down for a kiss.*

"Look it's a bird" Yusuke says
"It's a plane." Kurama continues.
"No, it's Baka Boy." Hiei exclaims.

* When Yusuke feels the moist lips touch his own he pulls back abruptly flailing widely and knocks Kuwabara off the couch, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!! Hentai!!"

"Overacting, you know what that means?" Kurama asks everyone.
"Yep," they all reply

*Kuwabara looks up sprawled untidily on the floor, "You know when you were still dead? And those dreams that Keiko and I got?"*

"You mean the wet one." Hiei asks
"Do you ever let up?" Yusuke asks.

*He struggles to his feet towering over Yusuke who is half lying on the couch, "Well I can't get that damn dream of kissing you out of my head!! It's been haunting me ever since, day and night. . . it was disgusting and. . ."*

"Quite messy I might add." Yusuke says in Kuwabara voice.
"And that is helping how, Urameshi?" Kuwabara questions.

*Kuwabara rubs the back of his head blushing, "Well, intriguing too. . . I couldn't stop thinking about it, wondering what you felt like, and tasted like. . ."

"Spam, Crazy. Tasty." They all yell.

*Kuwabara trails off blushing madly then continues in a rush, "And lately I've been finding myself dreaming and-and fantasizing about k-kissingyouandmore. . .I want it to stop!"*

"Being a dream and make it a reality my sweet." Kurama says in Kuwabara's voice.
"Take me you brute." Hiei say in Yusuke's voice. Jumping into Kurama's lap.
"You do realize, you two are taking this a bit far." Yusuke comments

* Kuwabara sits down hard on the couch,*

"Hmmm, shall we read that one again." Kurama asks with a smile.

* "I figured that if I satisfied this curiosity it would go away. . ."

"But now it's just grown harder." Hiei says "and it won't go away."

* he groans and drops his head into his hands.*

"Well, that one way to make it go awa Yu Yusuke says insightfully.

*Yusuke sits up more, "Damn. . . I thought you were strait. . ." *

"Umm"
"Yes we mentioned it before no need dwelling on it." Kurama answers the unspoken question.
"Let it flow..." They all sing.
* Kuwabara sighs, "I am. . . I think. . . I hope. . ." He turns to Yusuke, "I still have 50 minutes left, and I intend to use them. So. . . you know what I want, or do you want public humiliation? I can make you wear one of my sister's skirts and walk around town." Yusuke pales considerably then goes red, "I um I . . . I'll take the kiss. . ." *

"And finally the trutmes mes out." Kuwabara says. "Yusuke you're gay."
"If he is kissing you he ain't gay." Hiei says. "He is fucking desperate."
"Shut up shrimp, your just jealous."
"Boys this is just a fic" Kurama says.
"Jealous what in the world would I be jealous over." Hiei asks
"Your angry because Yusuke wants me and not you."
"OK, let's stop this before someone says something they shouldn't like..." Kurama says.
"Why in the hell would I want him when I can fuck Kurama."
Kurama slides as low in his chair as possible. Yusuke looks over at the paling kitsune and whispers," Kind of like that."

*He twitches slightly, "I mean it can't be that different from kissing a girl right?" Kuwabara shrugs, "I guess. . . *

"Hit em again Bill-Bob the critters stilla twitchin'" Yusuke says
"Girls. Eewwww" Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara say in ten year olds voices

*I'll even let you off after this damn curiosity is satisfied, alright?*

"That one is all yours, Kurama." Kuwabara says trying to figure it out
"Oh, I understand it now eventhough it would have been more effective if she changed that 'let' into 'get." Yusuke says with a smile.
"Damn the Hentai Bug is bitting everyone's ass today." Kurama says

*Then we can both forget this ever happened. . . I hope." Kuwabara gestures for Yusuke to lie down again blushing and breathing just slightly unevenly.*

"Who blushing and breathing slightly unevenly, and how do you gesture someone to lie down?"
"Damnit Jim, I am a Spirit Detective not a fucking mind reader." Yusuke claims

*"Close your eyes again. . ."*

"And if you hear the sound of a zipper going down ignore it just open your mouth wider." Hiei says in Kurabara's voice.

* Yusuke complies and Kuwabara slowly descends toward him licking his lips.*

"Kiss him" Everyone but Kuwabara yells.
"Urameshi why you yelling kiss him." Kuwabara asks
"Kurama is right, if this was about him he would have already been sexually active, I haven't even gotten a kiss. I want some action now."

*He carefully, gently touches his lips to Yusuke's pausing for a moment before tilting his head and timidly deepening the kiss.*

"Then their tongues rolled over one another as their hands wandered to many secert sweet spots. They pressed their hot bodies together, aching manhoods rubbing though bothersome fabric. They break the kiss panting and wanting more so only their lips separate while tongues still touch. Licking, lapping, tasting needing the other's delicious nectaur." Kurama say with dramatic stage passion.
"Man, you really need to stop reading those romance novel." Kuwabara says shaking his head.

* Yusuke stiffens*

"We got a green, sir should we go for it." Hiei asks.
"Prep 'em." Kurama says.

* in timid but doesn't move to escape.*

"Huston we have a problem." Yusuke says.

* Instead he makes a strangled sound deep in his throat, twitching just a little.*

"I know it been along time since Kuwabara has actually kissed a girl not including relative or ones needing an air pump. But I do believe when they twitching and making strangled sound your tongue is a bit to far down their throat." Kurama remarks

* Kuwabara draws back after a few moments breathing hard, "Wow. . . you taste." ." He licks his lips, "good, Yusuke." Yusuke's eyes snap open and he sits up a little, "You called me by my name. . . you never dat. at. . ." *

"I was just testing it out, you know trying to figure out what I want to call you amist our moments of passion." Hiei says in Kuwabara voice.
""Have you decide my love?" Kurama as in Yusuke voice batting his eyes
"Yes precious, I shall call you my sweet little bitch." Hiei continues in same voice.
"Oh, how you woo me! I can't wait to be your sweet little bitch." Kurama say n a gleeful Yusuke's voice.

*He looks away blushing, "That was. . ." Kuwabara reaches out and cups Yusuke's face in his hand, "The best kiss I've ever had. . ." He leans in again head tilting to the side slightly. Yusuke opens his mouth to speak but is caught in the kiss before he can protest.*

"Score." Kuwabara shouts.
"Stup the hell up, baka we are finally getting to the good part." Hiei complains

*Kuwabara's tongue invades Yusuke's open mouth earning a gasp from the startled boy as Kuwabara pulls him closer. Kuwabara moans into Yusuke's mouth deepening the kiss further one hand cradling Yusuke's head and the other pressed against the small of his back forcing their bodies together awkwardly.*

"Wait a minute why is everything we do in the either awkward, clumsy or some word not meaning graceful" Yusuke asks.
"In a word." Hiei points to Kuabara and says. "Baka."

* For a few moments Yusuke sits stiffly beneath the kiss tremg slg slightly, his hands clenching and unclenching.*

"Resistance is futile."
"Come to the Yaoi side, Uke accept your destany." Hiei says in Darth Vaders voice.

*Then he whimpers in his throat and returns the kiss in a frenzy hands slipping up to caress Kuwabara's shoulders and body twisting to get more contact. The motions however upset their precarious balance on the couch and send them rolling to the floor, coming to a stop with Kuwabara lying between Yusuke's legs.*

"I am just so smooth." Kuwabara says proudly.
"Only on paper, only on paper." Yusuke retorts evenly.

* Kuwabara breaks the kiss to gasp for air.*

"Why are kisser always forgetting to breathe through their noses?" Kurama muses.
"In todays head line news couple dies. Cause of death kissing."
"Yes Scott it looks like their foreplay turned into foul play." Yusuke say commentator style

* He looks down at the squirming form passion glazed eyes staring down at the flushed and lustfully dazed face beneath him. Kuwabara groans and leans down again to attack Yusuke's neck with ferocious passion.*

"Of a wild kitten." Yusuke chrips.

*Yusuke moans loudly throwing his head back*

"Ewww." Kuwabara replys.
"You do realize, using any part of your body as a projectile can put a slight damper on the romantic mood previously set." Kurama informs the group.

* and arching into Kuwabara, "K-oh! Don't stop!" His hands find Kuwabara's back and dig in searching for purchase*

"CHA-CHING"

. *The creak of the opening door shakes them from their lustful states. They frantically scramble away from each other but are tangled together and end up sitting on the floor, a little too close for decency. Both are flushed, rumpled, and panting heavily and Yusuke has the beginnings of a nice bruise on the side of his neck.*

"After all that you only have the beginings of a bruise shitgodamnmotherfuckin' please." Hiei says.
"Calm down Hiei." Kurama coax.
"Hell no, I sat here for lord knows how long, Someone's gonna get fucked. My mama got more action then this." Hiei rants

*Kurama sticks his head in the door and laughs a slight blush on his cheeks, "I guess you two need more time alone then. . ." *

"Why am I blushing?" Kurama asks.
"Proably because you just walked in on a couple making out." Hiei says.
Kurama looks at Hiei "I'm Youko."
"Good point. Why are you blushing?" Hiei finally asks.

*He turns and mumbles something to someone outside the door and pulls it shut.*

"Excuse me I do not mumble." Kurama states.

* Yusuke and Kuwabara both sit and stare panting at each other for several minutes.*

"Add after minutes of panting, they sniff each other and then piss on the couch." Hiei says.

*Yusuke rubs the back of his head looking almost shylyKuwaKuwabara, "Ummmmm, . . . yeah. . ." Kuwabara grins sheepishly, "Yeah. . ." Yusuke licks his lips, "So. . . now what?" MD-"That is where this ends. . . for now. If my readers deem it a good story I shall continue, perhaps with a pointless lemon, perhaps with something with a little more plot to it. I shall leave it up to my readers to decide." *

"So it ends right there. Before anything happens. Ooo and they say your pure evil Hiei." Kurama says.
"I am so calling my agent. I can't work like this I will be in my trailer." Yusuke say throwing his hands up in the air storming off.
"You don't have a trailer." Kuwabara yells after him.
"Fine then I'm going to sulk in the bathroom stall."

* Saishou-"That means that you must review!" MD-"Yes, please do. How was it? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Traumatizing? I would love to know. Anyway I shall leave you now so Sl n agus beannacht leat(farewell and blessings upon you)." *

"Thank you kindly for your blessings, your story was wonderful except for one small little detail. The YAOI warning." Kurama says as sweet as possible.
"Hey, I could be wrong but I thought for sure YAOI had some mention of sex." Hiei spits. "When I see the old Y warning I want some action." Hiei walks off, "I'm getting some icecream."
"Your not going to steal it are you?" Kurama calls.
"No I am going to earn it."
"How?"
"The same way I always earn my ice cream from you and tonight I want a gallon." Hiei calls from the lobby.
"Meep" Kurama smiles and runs out.
Kuwabara looks around to makre ere everybody has truely left. He falls to his knees and says "Thank you for not making my screw my friend."
Kuwabara finally walks out of the theater and into the lobby. Yusuke and Koenma are exchanging menacing glares at one another.
"Are we quite done yet?" Yusuke asks through gritted teeth.
Koenma changes back into his toddler form and smiles behind his magical pacifer and says, "No."


-------------

Once again I would like to thank MD for letting me MST her creation.
I am sorry it took so long.