The Substance of Need

Chapter Two up and ready for the good ol' Read and Review! It's a shorty, I know, and it covers a lot of time in not so many words, but I thought, "Hey, everyone knows what happened in the show, so why go into that too much? It'll just bore people out of their minds." So here you have it.

Next chapter will be longer, and it will most likely contain the reason for this fic's rating. Hope you enjoy what I like to call "the preview-to-the-rest-of-the-fic chapter."

Have at it!

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It’s funny how it often takes losing something to make a person realize how much it was worth. Not even a month after returning from Demon World, Yusuke announced he was returning to it. He was being hunted, Koenma revealed, and it was either leave the Ningenkai or face down the assassins Enma was sending after him. Yusuke himself supplied a different reason for going: he had unfinished business in the Makai in the form of a confrontation with his ancestral father, a demon lord named Raizen.

Hiei and Kurama were neither surprised nor apparently disturbed by the news; as a matter of fact, they were leaving too, possibly to become each other’s enemies as they explored new alliances with the other two demon lords who ruled the Makai. Friendships stood ready to be torn asunder, and Kuwabara felt as if he were the only one who gave a damn. Their nonchalance stung, and made him angrier than he could remember being in a long time. He accused them of giving up on everything they had ever accomplished as a team, and when they did not move to defend themselves it only made the betrayal seem worse.

It was only Genkai’s brutal honesty that forced him to see that this was not a parting of ways for its own sake, but rather steps of a journey that Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama all needed to take. Particularly in her student’s case; Yusuke had a power none of them had foreseen him obtaining, and it was time he went and found out what that meant, and who he was now that he had come so far. He had to learn to feel his way in the darkness, she said, and there was nothing any of them could do to stall that lesson. They had no right to try. It would be painful to let go, but in the end they had to do it, for his sake.

Kuwabara knew what the old woman was saying, but he struggled to accept it. Things were changing, and he could see no hope for them to ever return to the way they had been. Everything was wrong if they weren’t all together; didn’t they see that? And what if they really did become enemies? Hiei had been a dubious ally at the start, but he had become a valued comrade over time, there to lend a hand when he was needed. Kurama had always been the group’s voice of reason, capable of being both friend and mentor to them all. And Yusuke was the glue that bonded them. He was the leader, the strength, and the heart of their team, and without him they were nothing.

And there were more awful risks to this venture. What if by leaving the world of the humans, he left his humanity behind? What if he became the very thing he’d been fighting all this time? He had claimed to wonder if he was losing himself, but what if this was what severed the thread that kept his “self” whole?

Worst of all, what if he never came back? It would be like he had died all over again, and this time there would be no chance of a miracle.

He can’t go! Kuwabara thought, gritting his teeth as the pain of imminent loss began to rise. It’s just not right!

Then, Yusuke made him a promise, one that made hope glimmer faintly once again. He would be back in three years, and when he returned, he wanted his rival to have gotten into the school he was aiming for. Kuwabara felt some of the hurt fade, and with a forced grin, he laid a condition of his own. “Let’s make it even, Urameshi. Don’t come back until you’re king of all the demons.”

The smile he got back was full of confidence, free of the weight of sorrow, and it bolstered him for the sight of Yusuke walking away. The promises between them were what would keep him going the years that followed, as he waited for the day when he would see that cocky smile again, and be able to show that he had held up his end of the bargain.

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Keiko called often during that time—at least at first. After the first year, he supposed she was focusing too hard on trying not to grieve, on trying not to think of the boy who had left her as assuredly as he had left them all. She did still call, but it was a rarer thing, and she usually avoided talking about Yusuke. They developed an understanding over the course of those days. Sometimes, when the loneliness was too much for both of them, they would go out someplace and just hang out like friends did. They had never really been close before, but it was different now. They were two souls with the same wound.

In the meantime, Kuwabara studied hard, and Shizuru was unusually indulgent with him when she wasn’t pushing him to achieve. He suspected it was because she could sense his heartache.

It hadn’t taken him long after Yusuke had left to realize just how much he missed the other youth. At first he was reluctant to accept it as truth, because it went against a lot of the things he had believed about himself. It conflicted with his traditional self-image, his principles of living, and most painfully, with his love for Yukina. Eventually, though, he came to know the difference between this last and his feelings where Urameshi was concerned.

His love for the ice maiden Yukina was powerful, but she was like the untainted snow of her homeland, gentle and pure, and he knew he wasn’t worthy of her. Whatever they had was wonderful, but it was also ethereal. He would always love her, and he believed she cared for him too. That had to be enough, because anything more would mar her purity, and she would no longer possess what he so adored about her.

It was different in Yusuke’s case. What they had wasn’t the kind of feeling found in the pages of flowery-scripted novels. It was a camaraderie that went beyond that of simple friends. It was a bond forged in battles, in blood. They knew each other intimately because they had each seen the worst, and survived. They were alike in spirit; they were alike in heart. They knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and they had always been there for each other. Before Team Urameshi had ever gone to the Dark Tournament, before Kurama or Hiei or even Genkai had come into the picture, before even Yusuke’s first encounter with death, Kuwabara had been there and known him as well as anyone had. They’d had an understanding, and that had eventually transformed into friendship. That seed had developed so much in all this time, and now it was ready to break ground.

He supposed in hindsight that he should have seen it coming, but when had love ever been predictable?

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Three years passed slowly. Three years of not knowing if his friends were safe (well, Kurama did return, but he came and went, and often his only news was that he wasn’t sure how the others were doing), of not knowing if Yusuke would keep his promise to come back. He waited, and tried to bend his mind to things that were easier to cope with. He did get into the school he’d been aiming for, and he was doing better there than he’d ever dared to hope. In fact, by the time the three years were drawing to a close, he was well on his way to getting into a good college too. His parents, absent though they usually were, had told him how proud they were of him, but it was Shizuru’s praise that meant the most, because it was she who had shoved him persistently in the right direction.

One morning, Genkai invited the remains of the group to her home to hear an important announcement. Even Kurama was present, having come home to stay a while ago. Keiko, Kuwabara, Shizuru, Kurama, Yukina, and even Botan and Koenma arrived to listen to the old woman’s words. She shocked them all by telling them that when she had passed on, she was leaving them her estate, with the temple and all the surrounding land, and that she wanted them to use it as a safe-house, a place to bridge the gap that still remained between the humans and the demons. Peace, she told them, was still a ways off, but in time they could make it happen. None of them liked hearing her talk of death, but they all agreed to honor her wishes. Now all things had been settled, save one. Yusuke still hadn’t come home.

To lighten their moods, all of them except Koenma, who had to go back to the Reikai and work, went down the beach on Genkai’s property. It was down by the surf, with the sun setting and the waves rolling in, that Keiko proclaimed to the coming night that she was through waiting.

No one had expected her to get an answer. No one had expected it to come from him.

“I don’t want you to wait either,” said that familiar voice. “See? You don’t have to.”

And there he was, slightly shadowed by the fading sun, but large as life and with that cocky grin that was so much a part of him. The reunion was immediate and joyous; Keiko was the first to reach him, and the others all stared in shock as she laid what had to be his first kiss on the equally surprised spirit detective’s lips. The brief stab of jealousy Kuwabara felt melted into laughter when a large wave washed abruptly over them, and Yusuke shook off the awkwardness and started a splash war. The rest of them joined the “battle” in a heartbeat, and Kuwabara got his own reunion in the form of a brief wrestling bout and their usual teasing. He could feel all that time spent waiting going away with the outward sweep of the tide. The heart of their group was back where he belonged at last.

Later, when the sun had long disappeared and they had all exhausted themselves, they brushed the sand off their damp clothes and prepared to head for home. Before they left, however, Yusuke turned to Kuwabara.

“You get into that school?” he asked, his eyes promising mischief if the answer was no.

“Of course I did,” the taller boy replied proudly. “And what about you? Are you king of the demons yet, or do I have to give you a serious noogie for going back on your word?”

“Weeeell,” the half-demon admitted, “I’m not exactly there yet. But I gave it my all, and hey, I saved the world again, so the way I see it that’s almost as good.”

“A real man never says he’ll do something he can’t,” Kuwabara informed him loftily. “You’re in trouble now, Urameshi; I’m gonna noogie you bald.”

Yusuke snickered. “You’ll have to catch me first, and I learned some serious dodging moves in the Makai!”

“Boys, boys,” Keiko interrupted, laughing, “Your macho thing can wait until tomorrow. It’s late, and we should all go home and get some sleep.”

“Yes,” Kurama seconded. “We need to go so we don’t miss the next train.”

A brief detour to say goodbye to Genkai (she was happy to see her favorite dimwit again, and told him so in just about as many words), the group descended the mountain, and caught the train back home. Before they parted ways for the night, Yusuke told Kuwabara he’d stop by the next afternoon; he had a lot to tell him about, and he looked forward to hanging out for a while.

“Being pals with demons can be cool,” he said, “But it’s nice to know a few people who aren’t constantly trying to get me to fight them for fun.”

“Don’t know why you’d want to hang out with me, then” the carrot-top joked. “The only reason I wanted you back was so I could pound your face in.”

He got a superior grin in response. “Well then. I guess if I want my relaxing time, I’m going to have to kick your ass first. I think I can deal with that. See ya later, Kuwabara.”

“See ya, Urameshi.” He watched his friend walk away, and felt a sort of thrill to know it was only until tomorrow, and not forever as he had once feared.

And when he shows up tomorrow, he thought, I’ll tell him what I’ve been thinking about since he’s been gone.

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