FINDING MY WAY HOME

I hope you’re all still enjoying this. It’s been hard deciding how much detail to write about Kurama’s pregnancy. Hopefully I’ve found a good balance that doesn’t skimp or drag it out too much. I still don’t know if I’m going to traumatize Kurama with a baby girl or not. I’m really surprised that no one suggested the baby be a hermaphrodite. Don’t even go there, I’m not making the baby a hermaphrodite. I’d be writing this the rest of my life if we had to wait years to know if it would pick being male or female. Well, I hope this came out alright. Now to figure out what to do in the next chapter.

Chapter 18

The past two days have been wonderful. I feel free and alive and I can almost forget my terror at the thought of being pregnant. Almost. Hiei has been wonderful, as usual. He’s let me run, play and make love anywhere and any way I want. And for some reason, I’ve really wanted him too. Sex on the motorcycle was beyond hot. I’m going to have to try that as a Youko some time and see if I can get Hiei to ride me.

Right now we’re in a small town in Yusuke’s territory where one of my favorite restaurants is. Now that I’ve been feeling better I’ve been eating really well, and the Youko in me has been craving Makai food, especially fresh killed meat with exotic seasonings. That I’m sure I can attribute to the baby.

A short way from the restaurant though we’re stopped when someone calls out. “Hey you! Yeah you, the sexy fox demon.”

Turning, we see a human male come up to us. “Oh yeah, I definitely like you. Why don’t you ditch shorty here and come have a drink with me?”

Looking down at him, I sneer. “You’re shorter than he is, not half as well built as he is, and a mere human. What delusion do you suffer from that you think I would chose you over him?”

I can see Hiei rolling his eyes, impatient that I’m even speaking to the human. “Oh yeah, tall, sexy and condescending as hell. I can’t wait to fuck you. And since I’m as rich as hell, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble convincing you.”

When Hiei would have lunged at him, I held up a hand to stop him. “That’s highly doubtful you pathetic worm, since my demon wealth combined with my human fortune exceed the wealth of any human ever born.”

The human’s mouth dropped open. Ignoring him, I look behind him to an A-class demon that was obviously reluctant to admit he was with him. I don’t even bother to hide the contempt in my voice. “You should learn to control your pet before he gets you both killed.”

Regaining his composure, the human shouts. “PET? How dare you! The stupid demon works for me!”

The demon grabbed the human and shoved him aside and bowed to me. “You must excuse the human My Lord. I have tried to teach him our ways but he is stubborn.”

Turning to the human, the demon growled. “You idiot! You just propositioned Yoko Kurama! He and Lord Hiei are two of the most powerful demons in Makai and heirs to a Makai throne. We’ll be lucky to leave with our lives.”

The human looked unfazed. “I shouldn’t have to worry about that, protecting me is what I hired you for fool. Besides, what do I care who they are. I’ll be headed back to the Ningenkai soon anyway, and I intend to have that fox before I go.”

Silent until now, Hiei growled. “Take care of this now Kurama, or I will do it for you.”

Leaning over I give my mate a kiss. “It’s not like I can kill him Hiei, at least not without causing a lot of paperwork. I’m considering torture though. It might be fun to watch the vermin offer up his fortune and beg for death.”

Suddenly the human seemed to realize the seriousness of the situation. “I am a very important person in Japan. I’m Lee Cho of Cho imports. Touch me and you will be in a lot of trouble.”

I sneer at him. “It seems you’ve forgotten, we’re not in Japan and my mate helps rule Makai. Tell me Mr. Cho, do you know who Shuuichi Minamino is?”

He seemed to puff out his chest with pride. “Of course I do. He’s a genius and probably richer and more powerful than you and I combined. Without his work since the unification, I’d be back working as a produce clerk.”

I gave Hiei a mischievous wink as I snarl at the human. “Then I wouldn’t recommend insulting him again.”

When Cho starts to stammer a denial, I shift my energy and became Shuuichi. Instantly recognizing my human form, Cho put his hands together and gave me a deep bow. “Minamino San! My deepest apologies. I had no idea the beautiful fox was your demon form. Please forgive my behavior. I would never have spoken such if I had known it was you.”

Returning to my Youko form I move right in front of Cho forcing him to crane his neck to look up at me. “You are to leave Makai immediately and never return. Demons are not whores for you to exploit. If I ever find you have spoken to anyone, demon or human, in such a vulgar manor again, I will not only ruin you, I will hunt you and torture you until you take your own life.”

When the demon with him grabbed Cho’s arm and would have dragged him off, I stop him with a growl. “You however I can kill. I suggest you be more discriminating in your charges in the future, and if you value your life, don’t ever cross my path again.”

Wide eyed, the demon bowed. “Yes Sir Lord Kurama! Thank you for your mercy.”

When they were gone, Hiei shook his head at me. “You and your mind games. Did you at least have fun Fox?”

I grin at him. “Actually, I did Koi. It’s kind of a rush to prove how powerful I am without having to fight.”

Taking my hand and heading for the restaurant, Hiei grumbled under his breath. “You could have at least punched the son of a bitch once for me.”

XXXXX

Hiei has given me everything I wanted on this trip, so when he asked for one last stop before we go back to the Ningenkai, I couldn’t refuse him. Now, seated at Mukuro’s table, having just had a wonderful home cooked meal, I wait for her reaction to Hiei’s news that we are having a baby. “Damn Kurama, I never thought you’d do it. I always hoped of course that you would someday give Hiei have an heir of his own, but when it seemed that after all these years you didn’t even tell him you could have a child, I almost gave up that hope.”

Hiei stared at her. “You knew?”

Mukuro shrugged. “Of course I knew. Part of the Youko nation is in my territory and I make it a point to know about all the demons in my territory. Besides, I’m older than both of you, so I know a lot more than you.”

I’m grateful not to have to explain once again how I could be male and pregnant. Uncertainly, I look at her. “Mukuro, how do you feel about having a child in your home?”

She thought only a moment before answering. “First off, this is your and Hiei’s home too. Second, I think having a baby would be a welcome addition. I think we need something to shake things up around here before we all become old fuddy-duddies.”

I can’t help but grin at here comment. “I think I’m already an old fuddy-duddy.”

Quietly, Hiei interjected. “Kurama has had a little trouble adjusting to the news that we’re having a baby.”

Mukuro gave me a thoughtful look before speaking softly. “I can relate to that. I’ve never told anyone this, but I had a child once. It was while I was a slave. When I found out I was pregnant I hated it because I was raped. I hated it so much that I did everything I could to miscarry. Much to my distress though the baby was born healthy. She was a fighter. The first time I held her, she looked at me with total trust and my heart was stolen.”

With a feeling of dread, I waited for her to continue. “I was allowed to keep her for almost five years before they took her. She was my motivation to get stronger and be free. I never found her. Many years later I did get my revenge on our captors though.”

I stayed quiet as Hiei and Mukuro exchanged looks. I know they have a special relationship and I’m sure in some way only they share he is giving her strength. When Mukuro sighs and seems to relax, I look at her. “I’m sorry Mukuro, that must have been difficult for you share. It makes my problems accepting this pregnancy seem trivial. I just pray that when this baby comes it will steal a part of my heart.”

She nodded. “That’s why I told you Kurama. If I can love a child conceived of rape, I’m have no doubt you’ll find a place in your heart for a child conceived of the love you and Hiei share.”

I sigh. “I may not love this baby yet, but as you said, it was conceived out of love, and I would never harm it. I am starting accept that this is really happening, for which Hiei is probably grateful. He’s got to be tired of me having panic attacks every time I think about this baby.”

Mukuro actually laughed. “The great Yoko Kurama taken to his knees by an unborn child. Priceless.”

When Hiei chuckles, I glare at him, but realizing she’s right, I end up chuckling with them. “I know I’ve been a bit of a drama queen Hiei, but let someone tell you you’re pregnant and you’d freak out too.”

He smirked at me. “Oh, I’d do more than freak out Kurama. So, you can have all the panic attacks you want. I’ll be there, no matter what.”

I grin. “Now that’s true love.”

XXXXX

Four months. I can’t believe that I’m four months pregnant. Some days it feels like I found out yesterday. Others, it feels like forever. Luckily, other than a few odd flutters in my stomach, I’ve been feeling really good. At Hiei’s request I’ve backed off most of my work schedule. I fought him at first, thinking that staying busy would keep me from stressing out about the baby. In the end though he won.

With the free time I’ve been spending a lot of time with our friends, especially Yusuke. At first he brought Benji over every few days. After a while I started going to the temple to spend time with the girls and the other kids as well. The girls have been great too, trying not to overwhelm me with kids. I think I’m learning a lot, even though I haven’t even held one of them yet.

There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask Hiei about, and looking at him across the dinner table, now seems as good of a time as any. “Hiei, I’ve notice you never ask about or talk about the baby unless someone else brings it up first. Why is that?”

He shrugged. “You’ve been so upset since you found out, I didn’t want to make things any harder on you.”

With my suspicion confirmed, I sigh. “I know I’ve been pretty selfish lately Dragon, and I’m sorry if I made you feel you had to tip toe around me. This is your baby too and you should be able to talk about it without worrying about upsetting me. I’ve never even asked you how you feel about us having a baby.”

When he looks at me, I know he is weighing just how honest he wants to be with me. “I want the truth Hiei. You don’t need to sugarcoat your answer for me.”

He acknowledged my request with a nod. “I love you Kurama, and if it were only you and me forever, that would be fine with me. I have to admit though, I’ve been a little envious of the families our friends have. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have a family that I want one. I agree though, that us having a baby is a scary thing. Yusuke and Kuwabara were scared too, and they managed okay. Yukina and Keiko had never had a baby before, and they did alright. I just keep thinking that we’re smarter than all of them combined, so we’ll figure it all out somehow.”

He really did have it all figured out and it made me smile. “You’re right Koi. One way or another we’ll figure it out together.”

There’s a light in Hiei’s eyes that hadn’t been there before. I really have been a selfish bastard thinking only of myself. Smiling, I encourage him to talk. “So Fox, have you picked a room yet. I keep seeing the fox quilt go back and forth between the two rooms.”

I chuckle. “So you noticed that did you. I thought I liked the green one at first, now I’m thinking the other one. What do you think?”

I can see he’s happy I want his opinion. “I don’t want the baby too close to the front door. The green walls won’t go well with the quilt either.”

I nod. “Both good points. The earth tones of the other room are soothing and will go well with the fox quilt. The wall hangings are big enough to add nice color to the walls too. We’ll have to see if there are more pieces that match.”

There’s something else I’ve been considering, but I’m almost afraid to say it. Across from me, Hiei grunts. “I can see you thinking Fox. Just spit it out.”

I chuckle. “Well, I know it’s kind of premature, but I was thinking I’d like to start setting up the nursery. I think getting the room together, so I have lots of time to get use to the baby’s things, will make it a little easier when it gets here.”

Hiei nods. “Okay, how do we do that?”

I shrug. “I think we’re going to need some help with that, because I have no idea. Since Mother found that beautiful nursery set with the foxes, I thought we could ask her for help.”

Since it seemed we’d finished eating, he picked up our plates and headed to the kitchen. “Give her a call then Fox, and see when she’s free.”

Shiori of course was thrilled to be asked. Joining Hiei in the kitchen, I pick up a towel and start drying the dishes. “Dragon, I know shopping is one of your least favorite things to do. I don’t want you to feel you have to go if you don’t want to.”

He turned and leveled his gaze on me. “Do you want me there Kurama?”

I nod. “Yes Hiei, I do.”

He moved closer and kissed me. “Good, because I’d like to go too. I know I let you have free reign here and at Alaric, but this is different. This is for out baby. Besides, I want to be there in case you have a panic attack.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Believe me Hiei, that’s crossed my mind and is one of the reasons I want you there. The other is because, this is our baby and I want us to do this together.”

I must have said the right thing as I am rewarded with a deep kiss.

XXXXX

As we get ready for our shopping trip my stomach has been extra fluttery this morning. It’s probably just nerves about the shopping trip. Seeing my hand resting on my stomach, Hiei frowns at me. “Are you alright Kurama? We don’t have to do this if you’re not feeling well.”

Smiling, I try to reassure him. “I feel fine Hiei. Just some nervous flutters. I get them sometimes.”

The look he gives me now is no longer concern, but seems more envious. Reaching for his hand, I pull him closer and place it over my stomach. “I just realized you’ve never felt the baby. Just reach out with your energy, you’ll feel it.”

As I feel Hiei’s energy seep into my stomach, I feel the now familiar flutters. Hiei’s ruby eyes widen with excitement. “I feel it Fox. I think it moved when it felt my energy.”

Feeling guilty that my selfishness has kept Hiei from enjoying his baby, I smile at him. “I think you’re right Hiei. I wonder if that’s what the flutters I feel are. Isn’t it too soon for me to feel the baby yet though?”

Still with his hand on my stomach, Hiei shrugs. “I don’t know Fox. We’ll go to the temple soon and see what Yukina thinks.”

After sharing a few kisses we head out to meet Shiori. Standing in front of a store I’m sure I’ve seen before, but never paid attention to before, I feel my heart begin to race. The window to the right of the door features a nursery set up all in blue. The one to the left is done all in pink. Beside me, Hiei slips his hand into mine. Looking into his beautiful ruby eyes, I begin to relax.

A moment later my mother came up and gave me a hug. “Oh Shuuichi, you’re here. I was afraid you’d back out at the last minute. Hello Hiei. I’m glad you’re with him. Are you boys ready?”

With Hiei’s hand still holding mine, I nod. “Yes Mother. Thank you for helping us with this.”

When we stepped inside I see the store is huge. My mother laughed. “Relax Shuuichi. It is a little overwhelming. Think of it like three stores in one. Forget all the clothes and other baby things. We’re going over here to the furniture section. In fact, come look at this one. It’s set up with the fox set I got you.”

That did the trick to distract me from the onslaught of baby things. Sure enough, the entire nursery display was done in the foxes she had gotten me. Already I see other things I want to buy. Still holding my hand, Hiei nudges me. “Look in the crib Fox.”

Moving closer, I see what caught his eye. Releasing his hand, I reach in the crib to retrieve two stuffed foxes. One is white, the other is a reddish brown color. Suppressing a silly smile, I look at him. “I think we need these.”

He just chuckles. “I think we’re going to need a bigger car to take everything you’re probably going to buy home.”

My mother heard him and leaned over. “Don’t worry Hiei, they deliver.”

It is two hours later that we finally leave and I kiss my mother goodbye. Hiei has two big bags he manages to squeeze into the back of the Z, while I get in the passenger seat, still holding the two foxes. The nursery set we picked is in a medium-dark wood with a crib, dresser, changing table and a glide rocker all matching. We even found a lamp with little foxes running around the shade and a music box in the base.

There were several more pieces to go with the fox quilt which I had to have as well. They, along with the lamp, are all in the back of the car. The furniture is being delivered tomorrow. When we get home, we stop briefly in the lobby and arrange to have maintenance come later in the afternoon to move the furniture from that room. Wealth has it’s perks. It also doesn’t hurt that we own the building.

After dropping our purchases off in the apartment we go back down one floor. When we moved in here, Hiei insisted that no one was allowed to occupy the floor beneath us for security reasons. Besides housing traps and wards to prevent intruders, the apartment is set up with basic furniture in the event we need to use it. It doesn’t take us long to neutralize the traps and wards and decide where the extra furniture will go.

Back in our apartment, I move all the baby things out of both bedrooms. “Hiei, I think we should move the twin beds downstairs and move the queen bed to the other bedroom.”

He nods as he helps me strip the beds. “Sounds good to me. Now let’s finish up, I’m hungry.”

After lunch the maintenance men come move all the furniture for us. Hiei patiently waits and watches as I dust the walls and vacuum the floor. After I finish I gather the things Shiori gave us and have Hiei bring the bags from the baby store to the dining table and we begin unpacking them. Seeing all the cute things with foxes on them I grin. “I get the feeling I went a little overboard on the foxes, but for some reason they just make me happy.”

With a grunt, Hiei shakes his head. “I don’t care how many foxes there are, if they make you happy I’ll cover the whole apartment in them.”

Going to him, I pull him into a big hug. “I love you Hiei. I’m sorry I’ve been so moody and upset about this baby. I’m doing a lot better though and I’m having fun turning the spare room into a nursery. Who knows, maybe by the time the baby actually comes I’ll be ready to handle it too.”

Pulling back to look at me, Hiei frowned. “Kurama, just when will the baby come?”

Unsure, I shrug. “I’m not sure. Babies usually take nine months and I’m about four months now. So probably some time in October I guess. How about we go see Yukina tomorrow after the furniture is delivered? We can ask her if the flutters are me feeling the baby and figure out when we can expect it to come.”

When Hiei nods then kisses me, I can’t help notice that he seems more relaxed than he has in the past few weeks. I just realized that we just spent the past twenty four hours together talking about and preparing for our baby. I make a quick mental note that I want more days like today, before allowing his kisses to distract me.

XXXXX

We didn’t leave for the temple right after the furniture was delivered as previously planned. As soon as I saw the furniture in the room, I had to make up the crib. Then Hiei helped me hang the quilted foxes on the walls and find just the right spot for the lamp. Only after the two stuffed foxes were settled together in the crib was I finally happy.

Watching Hiei behind the wheel of my Z, it dawns on me how often I’ve been letting him drive. With my mind filled with adjusting to the idea of us having a baby, it’s been nice not to have to concentrate on driving. Reaching out, I brush the back of my fingers across his cheek before sinking them into the hair at his nape. “Hiei, thank you for being so patient with me and taking such good care of me. I know I haven’t been easy to live with lately. I’m really beginning to feel like everything is going to be alright.”

Glancing at me he gives me a little smile. “I know it’s going to be alright Kurama. We can do anything so long as we’re together.”

When we arrive at the temple, Yukina is there alone with the twins. “Oh good, you’re here. Everyone’s gone and I could use a hand. Could you guys get Miko up from her nap please? Kona is teething and has been so fussy he won’t even let me put him down.”

The way I froze at her words, you’d think she asked me to face a hoard of rabid demons. Then Hiei was there with an arm around me. “We’ll get her for you Yukina.”

I’m sure the look in my eyes told him I though he was crazy, but Hiei just smirked and pushed me towards the nursery. Avoiding the crib done in yellow with kittens decorating it, I look around the nursery. The other crib was done in a nice light blue with puppies for decorations. Hiei’s hand kept urging me toward Miko’s crib. “She doesn’t bite Kurama. Look, she’s smiling at us.”

Daring a look, the little angel was indeed smiling at us as she stood holding the top of the crib rail. Holding my hand, Hiei moved closer and started talking to the baby. “Well little niece, we’ve been assigned to get you up. Are you okay with that?”

Bouncing, she squealed up at him. She was so excited though, she let go of the crib rail and plopped down on her bottom. Anxiously, I moved forward. “Is she alright?”

Miko answered with another cute squeal and raised her arms to be picked up. Alarmed, I stepped back and looked at Hiei. He just shook his head and grunted. “She won’t break Kurama.”

I couldn’t have been more surprised when Hiei reached into the crib and picked up the baby. “Kurama, go sit in the rocker.”

Without question I did as he asked, thinking he wanted me to sit and calm down. When he moved in front of me with the baby, I want to jump and run. “Stay put Fox. She’s just a little demon. Now relax and hold out your arms. If you’re too stiff or nervous she’ll feel it.”

I was about to protest when I saw the look in his ruby eyes. This is really important to him and I can’t let him down. Briefly closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. When I open them, I hold out my hands. When he places her in my arms she’s heavier than I expected. Unsure of who is holding her, Miko looks up at me. Nervously, I try to smile. “Hey pretty girl.”

She must have liked what she saw and heard because she starts babbling and reaches up to touch my cheek. She is so trusting and so soft it amazes me. Looking at Hiei, it makes me smile to see the pride in his eyes. “I knew you could do it Fox. She’s not so scary is she?”

I nod. “Terrifying. But for you, I can do anything.”

He smirks. “Good, because now we have to figure out how to change her.”

I look at him confused. “Change her into what?”

For a second I can’t interpret his blank stare. Then I realize what he means. “You mean her diaper? No! That is not going to happen.”

He just smirks again and turns away leaving me with the baby. I’m about to panic, when I see him go to the changing table and take out a diaper and wipes. “Bring her here Fox. We’ll do it together.”

Nope, I’m not doing it. “Hiei, unless I missed something, we don’t know how to change a diaper. Besides, she’s female. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Patiently, he looks at me. “First, you’re not the only one who’s been coming for baby lessons Kurama. I’m just further along in my lessons than you are. Second, what if our baby is female? We can’t bring her here or to Shiori every time she needs changing.”

Looking down at the baby in my arms I think I’m defeated. “What do you think Miko? Uncle Hiei thinks he knows what he’s doing. Do you trust us to do this? I know I wouldn’t.”

Hiei snickers at my comment but doesn’t come to my aid. Realizing he’s not going to relent, I get a better hold on Miko and stand up. Slowly making my way to Hiei, I look at him. “Please take her Hiei.”

As if knowing I’ve reached my limit, he easily takes her from me and lays her down on the changing table. Though his movements aren’t smooth, he manages to remove her little shorts and open the diaper. Watching intently, I see him slip the new diaper under her before removing the old one. Taking a wipe, he gently washes her then fastens the new diaper.

Once her shorts are back on he picks her up and hands her back to me, not giving me a choice but to take her or let her fall. Turning his back on me Hiei disposes of the diaper as I struggle to get Miko settled in my arms. When he turns back and sees me holding the baby, he grins. “Remember Kurama, together, we can do anything.”

His confidence is reassuring. Following him from the nursery we pass Yukina with a sleeping Kona in her arms. A few minutes later we are all in the kitchen. When Yukina comes to take Miko from me, I’m almost reluctant to let her go. “Thank you so much for helping with Miko. I was beginning to think Kona would never go to sleep.”

Watching her, I’m impressed by how easily she settles Miko on her hip as she gets out glasses and juice to offer us a drink. “So, Hiei said you both have questions. Let’s see if I can help you now.”

After pouring three glasses of juice as well as some in a little cup with a lid for Miko, Yukina puts the baby in the high chair and joins us at the table. “What are the little flutters I sometimes feel in my stomach? Is it the baby moving?”

She smiled. “Fluttering is exactly what it feels like when you first start feeling the baby move. It starts happening at about four months, so you’re right on schedule.”

I frown. “I’ve been feeling them for about a month though.”

Her brow went up. “That does seem a little early, but not unheard of.”

Miko was tired of playing with her juice cup and was beginning to fuss. Calmly, Yukina got up and opened a banana giving the baby a piece. When she took her seat again, Hiei looked at her. “We were also wondering when the baby was due to come. Kurama said babies take nine months. Does that mean it will be here in October?”

She thought a moment, then shrugged. “I’m not sure. Humans and most demons have a nine month gestation period. A few demons have less and a few have more. I don’t know anything about Youko pregnancies, especially male pregnancies.”

My eyes widen. “Yukina, I have to know when this is going to be over. Hiei, we need to go to Makai. I think it’s time I return to Youko territory and find out what to expect with this pregnancy.”

Yukina nods. “I think that’s a good idea. If you want me to deliver the baby, I’m going to need to know how a male delivers. I also need to know if there is anything special I should know if you need a c-section.”

Hiei looked at me. “Are you ready to go Kurama?”

Changing to my Youko form, I’m surprised when little Miko points at me and babbles happily. “Hello pretty girl. You be good for mommy, Uncle Hiei and will be back soon.”