AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for A Ramen Western

by geeclock

person ruthie balboa
schedule June 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I love the last few lines about making love and noodles. That's a riot! But I actually really liked this story! It was unique and I hope you write more!
person Kyuubi_chan
schedule May 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
lol I liked this even though I can't stand westerns. Rofl I can't imagine Hiei as a doctor! It made me giggle. But I did love the part when Yusuke lept up saying surprise! I can totally see him doing that! All n all it was very entertaining and just what I needed at...*squints at clock* 3:07 am. Ya I was bored. But also! Loved the unmarked series and the dreamland story you did whose title currently escapes me..>< Looking forward to more stories yay!

~kyuubi_chan
person Artemick
schedule May 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
2- “Having oddly specific cravings?” and "as a doctor I couldn’t allow you to eat mustard mixed with maple syrup.” - hilarious!! and followed by sexy noodles.
person 66Hiei08
schedule May 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
This was really good. I expected someone to be tied up to some railroad tracks, lol. But great story. I look forward to your next one.
schedule May 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I got excited when I saw something new with Yusuke was posted. Then I saw it was a western and was filled with a mix of wtf and oooooo. Thanks to the manga Stallion, I knew I liked this setting. Though, Yusuke? In the west? XD But this story amused me greatly. Lots of cackling, and it had its delicious moments. ^.~ This is going in my faves list for the fun.

A side note, GENKAI! -rolls with laughter- XD
person Artemick
schedule May 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
So before I read the story, I already love the casting and title – and research. And then the first line is awesome. Botan is a nag – punny! (I can’t help imagining Botan like a giant My Little Pony, all prancy and blue haired.) Yuusuke feeling alone easily as he travels – spot on character. Wondering how Hiei got a medical degree, being the…sweet nurturer that he is, but he does like cutting people up. Love Mukuro’s dress – oh, hello Hiei! Ichigaki, not Shigure? I like Yukina’s look at Hiei, about his not having enough friends (and that she’s in there and getting some lines!). AND WHITE COAT – MUST BE – IT IS! Yaaay….I like the flirtation, but want it dragged out longer and more torturously! It’s over too fast. Want detail, want! - to sum up: I love how fun this is and a lot of your decisions. You placed the characters well in a dramatic, tense situation. Showdown in inevitable! It’s very exciting. I would only recommend slowing it all down. Enjoy it. Long luxurious bubblebath descriptions of Hiei and Urameshi leaning over the bar (love their conversation, btw), slower sex, and a heaping helping of evil bandit maybe demanding that Hiei serve him and his gang (serve them whiskey - get your mind out of the gutter!) and maybe threatening his sister, or perhaps Yoko was the one who cut up Mukuro…you’ve got a good thing going here, no need to rush.
person Artemick
schedule May 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Spell check changed ‘disgusted’ to ‘discussed’ and ‘powder keg’ to ‘ powder key’. Yomi’s pervy washroom fantasies are great, as is his last line about preferring Yoko dead at his feet. And I love that you’re using their canon fighting styles, especially since Urameshi and Kurama never actually fought in the series – I’m very interested. You’ve got a talent for setting up fascinating kinetic situations. Yukina’s far more interesting here than in canon, and I like her explanation – you always wonder why normal people didn’t move out of those horrible western towns to get away. Now we know. – love that he turned it to a fist fight. Kurama does not tend to do well in those…though I’d have thought Yoko'd have rustled up a bull whip by now…great ending. Howling wind especially. And oh Hiei – is doctor, knows stuff. Great story, crammed full of easter eggs and cameos – all very fun!