rate_review Reviews

Hi B here. You've been reviewing some of my fics so I'd like to return the favor. I must warning I'm long winded with my reviews.
I read the other stories before this one religiously. Rarely do you ever get a good fic updated on a regular bases. I am very guiltly of not doing so.
When it comes to reviews I like a couple days to think about a fic and see how much of it sticks with me. If I think about it at random moments for no particular reason; Your fics did make me think and ponder and rush home to my computer hoping for a new chapter or four.
The first arch was very angstly, which I do love a good dose of; especially if it's Hiei Torture. It's just something about those silent, spiky haired, bad boy. Really they just need a hug I think. Is there anything you didn't do to poor Hiei lets see there's sexual, drug, physical, and mental abuse all the angst he went through had you really feeling for him. Perhaps you over did it a little... You know the expression 'It can't get any worse', well you some how managed that and kept it going through all the fics. Getting trapped, finding out he had a son he's didn't know about, getting knocked up by his friend/leader, losing Kuwabara, escaping and getting caught again by any old enemy, selling your body for food, mating someone you don't really want to, getting hooked on every drug know to man or demon, having your hair dyed and marking all over your body, loosing another friend, loosing your mate, death pending for years, guilt, knocking up your sister! (this is the mother of all run on sentenses) and Last getting posioned and losing so much blood you're not sure if you or your baby will live. I've got to dub their the angst queen.
I do wish you'd made it a little more of a love triangle, instead of YusukeXHiei and YusukeXKurama. You wrote that Kurama and Hiei had been entertaining the idea of mating with each other, but didn't want to complicating things with Yusuke. Kurama had his isolation captivity thing going on, but I would have liked him to have been a little upset about losing Hiei to Yusuke and vice versa. They don't seem like they have any chemistry and their is so much potential with this whole First and Second mate thing you've created. (B takes a moment to put Hiei in master slave sense with Kurama in control, Yusuke watching and Hiei the relent Uke.... hm hm.)
Don't get me wrong I love YusukeXHiei as much as I do KuramaXHiei, hell I just love anyoneXHiei really. But, love triangles are the best and often quite fun to write in my own experience.
Your orginal characters are quite interesting as well, the skink and his wizard brother (sorry I'm bad with names) were really good aditions to the plot. The strange relationship between Ryuji (sp?) and the market 'vender' skink had me wondering your next move for them. The whole lizards loving heat thing made an interesting conection, plus the skink was just too dumb for his own good. Putting the bracelet back on his newly healed hand... He had brownie points in my book for being so simple minded.
You killed off plenty of people: Kuwabara, Shizure, Sabie, the Skink Wizard, Shishiwakamuru, I'm a little concerned for any characters in this fic.
You've also turned Kurama and Hiei into rabbits... Kurama carrying four baby seems a little far fetched and dangerous. I can do Hiei Mpregs, because of the whole 'comes from a race of just women' thing, but I've never been able to logically do youko's can get pregnant thing. There would just be no point of having two sexes. Of course, I read somewhere that fox demons in mythology always disguised themselves as beautiful women to have their way with and play pranks on humans, so you've got to really wonder if they have a sex or not. Or you could say they're like frogs or the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park and switched gender based on a lack of partners for production. I don't know, but just saying Kurama can have babies because he's a fox demon makes be think why not a cat demon or a dog demon or a lizard demon or... you get my point.
The whole kurama might not be able to have a baby because he a half breed thing was cleaver thou. Just like a Mule is sterile, why not apply that to a demon/human mix. Very cleaver in my book.
Speaking of books, this is turning into one of it's own. I'd write more, but everyone in his house wanted to interupt me and I can't think straight to put it all down.
Anyway Love the work and at the risk of sound like many other's please update soon.
Ja ne
b-chan

Damn, I'm off. Kitchen, kitchen, I suppose I could go back and look but I really don't feel like it at the moment hehe, kitchen ... the kids, maybe? Sometimes I overlook the role of children in stories unless it's really up there in one's face. Hm.

I like Kurama's manner of claiming. "Mine?" He's too neat to make a big sweaty bloody show of such things.

Okay, I might be picking up more of this second storyline you were mentioning before. Might it have something to do with the two currently unmated Makai Lords, one of whom has the leash on Hiei's only applicable donor and one of whom wants to make good with Hiei? Hm? Or, I could be completely and drastically off, but I suppose we'll see.

I liked Kurama's stoicism in this chapter. Oh, these two are picking at each other; back to baby names...

That last scene reminded me of the "American Dad" episode where Roger CPR-ed and consequently impregnated Steve, who then passed it on to some girl via a kiss. And Yusuke's reaction was quite amusing. (He'd probably have scores more kids than he does already if that's how it worked for all demons.) Looking forward to the little heart-to-heart between Yomi and Hiei, and learning what information the "grilled" demon might have to offer.

Side-story, eh? Well I could hypothesize, *but* I think I'll wait for it to flesh out.

Assassin & "Koenma" - connected? Suppose I'll have to wait and find out.

Oh, and I am of course pleased that you are pleased with Sabaktu =P

I can't wait for Yusuke to start wailing on the a-- who did this.Yet something tells me (I hope not)that Chi
may know him to.I can't wait to see who did this though I have my guess and a dollar riding on it with a friend.Can't wait for the next updates.

Man, you've got a Karasu-like love for Hiei, no? Now I wonder who the "someone" is; at the moment I would narrow it down to Koenma, Mukuro, or Yomi, but I could be incredibly wrong. Hm. Well, that takes back seat to my primary wonders: who the assassin was, and what'll happen to this baby. Update soon!

Oh, by the way (no, I wasn't going to submit this review without enclosing this as well): I found a scanner, so Sabie is as I type this on his way to being posted on my DA page - http://thoth-moon.deviantart.com Hope you like him.

How could you?After everything Hiei's been through you wound him even more.Poor Yusuke,now he couldn't even
save Hiei from this.And what about Chi.You really know how to leave us on the edge of the seat.Roller coaster ride nothing I think I may need an air sick bag (lol)At least Yusuke people will accept Hiei without question now.Is Hiei's old boss going to find out about this?Boy would she be mad.Can't wait to see where you take this now. Great job as always

Oh, it's done, I've just got to track down a blasted scanner; thought I'd have no problem with at least that after coming home, since the printer we had when I left had one, but where that is presently I'm unsure... Ach, but don't worry, I'll ask around and hopefully have it scanned in and sent to you soon.

I liked how Hiei stood up for Mukuro. A lot of times she--and Yomi too--gets more abuse from those in fandom than she deserves. And the evolution of the family dynamics will be interesting to follow now that the foundation has been laid for them.

I'm so honored! And what an interesting chapter... RSVP-ing for a new life was sort of funny--a new life, still close to Hiei, I wonder?