rate_review Reviews

If you're feeling divided, write what is inside you. You'll never satisfy all your readers, and in the end, satisfying your need to express this story is the most important part of writing it. If your muse has changed from your original vision, then go with it. But if you're forcing changes to accommodate your audience, then you may want to take a step back and reevaluate where you are and where you're going. It's your story.

I love the story overall, but there are points I'd have done differently. That's why I like reading it. It's yours, and you are in control of what happens; I'm just along for the ride. If you feel you are losing that control, then take your time and plan your next move. If that means going back to the paper version, then do that. If not, the keep plunging forward. We'll still read it as long as you don't sway too far OOC or go completely off the deep end with it. But you've changed the characters so far in a believable way, so even though they are out of their original character, it's more of an evolution than straight up OOC.

Do what you feel you must to keep this story yours and so you can be happy and proud of it when you are done.

Ah, a subtle, but conflictive, scene. Shall be interesting how Hiei's Jagan sorts everything for him, and what he may do after.

So according to your A/Ns in this one, the last couple of chapters are deviant from what you originally wrote? Hm--I do like them, don't mistake me there, but hm ... The way to answer the question you pose, is that I would be happy with whatever YOU at this point consider the story's unadulterated version. This isn't like a radio station; you write it how it feels like it should be to you, not to cater to the requests of the reviewers. Reviews are supposed to say yea (or nay, whatever, good with bad) to what's been written, not to demand it be twisted to suit them, no?

Now this will be intriguing to watch--they both still want Hiei, but it might be best to cut him loose, and add their polygamous thoughts with Shishi's monogamy (knew Yusuke was tense with him, but geez!)... I'm really not one hundred per cent on how you'll play this out, because from where I sit it there's a chance of it going one way or the other, though perhaps not equally. Hm....

Oh, and the LJ: I'm unsure if it's mentioned elsewhere, but Blue and I talked about it here: http://thoth-moon.livejournal.com/125986.html

Well hell why wouldn't Kurama feel this way with the way Yusuke is acting about all this.Poor Yusuke may have to let Hiei go all together.Whats that old saying "if you love something let it go if it doesn't come back it
was never ment to be yours)Hiei has alot to work through and Yusuke isn't used to waiting around for what he wants.What a mess for everyone.What a great job on this story of the set.I look forward to the next set

You update so fast, I didn't have a chance to review until now. You know, Hiei is a tough character and it takes more than the average amount of pain and conflict to break him, but I think you've managed to do it. The guilt and the grief over Sabie and his other children is enough, but doing what he has to do for the brothel, and the drug addiction/alcoholism is sending him to a place that Yusuke and Kurama are going to have a hell of a time getting him back from. I'm looking forward to the chapters where they find, and then have to heal, Hiei.

And can I say how much I love that Shishi's in this? I've always though he was awesome. And Yomi's little kink is amusing, I would have never taken him for a pedo before, and I'm glad he's perceptive enough to realize that Shi might be Hiei, and good enough to tell Koenma about it.

I did feel bad for Sabie though, his life was tough enough, but the way he died, and then was wiped with the Jagan, was just very very sad.

Well now, Stage One, complete, Stage Two, in motion. Kind of have to pity Dasan a little, since the bind he was in was similar to Hiei's, but his was also a necessary death, eh?

Now, I wonder how Ichiro and Jiro will react to the intro of a third (and fourth, if counting Kurama?) parent to the mix, how Shishi will correlate with the Hiei-Yusuke-Kurama dynamic, and what's going to happen to Yomi...? *ponders* Well, I'm lookinh forward to what happens next, to be sure!

Oh, and I get the explanation of Oblivion. Just ... for folk like Rinku and Sabaktu, but not so ... for Satjiyu or Kichiro (is that where he went to?). It reminds me a little of in the movie, talking about banishing the king of the Netherworld to "the emptiness [or was it darkness?] or space", no?

Like Thoth_moon, I kind of feel badly for Dasan. He was just trying to do what he had to and he actually did help Hiei when he could. I liked the fight scene with Hiei, Shishi, and the demons and those twins are adorable! I love how they defended Hiei and Shishi with their little spirit guns. They're really Yusuke and Hiei's kids, without a doubt.

But Hiei is broken, he's retreated deep within himself and I'm looking forward to how they get him to feel well again. Yusuke's a tenacious guy anyway and he won't give up. Did I mention how much I love the angst in this?

Don't worry about lack of reviews, a lot of people are reading even though they don't review, a few of us over on livejournal have been discussing this story so I'm sure it's been making the rounds. My review still counts, right?

LiveJournal is a blogging site. There's a bunch of us Yu Yu Hakusho authors over there and we talk about the boys and fanfiction. It's a very cool meeting place. My LJ is listed in my profile page, just click on the link (unfortunately, I have it locked so you can't see most of the entries unless you have an LJ, but you will see some and get the general idea.)

You know, Koenma is getting some crap from Yusuke, but he has a job to do, and he's very powerful. If he doesn't ask the hard questions he's not going to be able to solve the problems. I've always liked Koenma, especially when he's characterized right, and you've done well with him.

Hm, Kurama's the nurturing one, but I think I sense some tension directed toward Shishi from Yusuke... Well, Yusuke's tense with Koenma also, but that one was pretty much a given, even if Koenma is doing his job. Poor guy--there's always a stressed-out office dude, hm?

About the LJ--everything that Blue said. Example: mine is http://thoth-moon.livejournal.com (I *think* that's on my profile, but I don't remember; might be a sign that I should check out my profile, eh?)

So I'm hurling deep questions at you, am I? ^__^ Well, take it as a good thing; it probably means that your writing is deep, and so the consequent questions would mimick the content. And now, I hope that Shishi can go in there and make things at least a smidget (smidget? word? Shall check) better for Hiei; it'd be nice if he'd go back to his own name at least.

I feel you did great in what they are all feeling.After so long in captivity it would be hard not flinch and
be overly protective with the beings you remember were in it with you.Its going to be a looong road of recovery if at all.At least Hiei knew Yusuke and recalls he is the babies father,if Yusuke can remain calm(fat chance)that could be the in needed to reach Hiei.Wow,lots of thoughts and feelings on these chapters and I can't wait for the next set of chapters.Your making it a very rough ride for all concerned but I think its right on the mark. Great job