rate_review Reviews

Hey!! I still love your story and I'm sorry for not reviewing in forever...I just got busy doing other stuff...

A few small things here and there, but for the most part I like it!
Can't wait to read the next chapter. :)

You're story is so well developed, with fantastic twists. I wait impatiently for your next update and the start of the tournament

YAY! This is my favorite chapter so far and I'm so flattered I was of help. I actually do the same thing with sex scenes; I get kinda swept up in them and stop thinking straight and wind up getting a bit tangled. Great stuff this chapter; really was!
I'm snowy white! Actually my kitten is white (she has a black tabby ear and tail mind you but it's still an adorable coincidence)! Great stuff, made my day!

It always happens all at once; your tablet dies, you get artist's block, your work comes out all disproporionate, photoshop malfunctions and then the internet goes.
Such is life, but I can't wait for the next chap!

Wow, I can't believe this still has so few reviews. I guess it's hard to get oc stories to take off but your's is interesting and it's substantially more so now with the tournament on the way (Tournament Junkie). Same as a few other authors, Kurama's attitude bothers me. Oh don't get me wrong, definitely see him as being excessively domineering a lot of the time and going for very submissive women but it's the lack of manners and other aspects that he genuinely has in the anime and manga that bothers me. He may be quite dark and rouh and so on but it'd be good if you could show how credible your story is by making it clear that he isn't bitter about his friends and family. Aside from that (which you are free to overlook btw, it's just an in character thing) my only criticism would be your repetition of certain phrases. You need to expand your range of descriptions, especially for the sex scenes. For eg. you frequently describe Kurama as 'raping' Aki's mouth and describe her as looking like a 'wanton whore', they might be the most accurate way of saying it but you need to show a little more creativity; something which you clearly have but are still learning to utilize to it's full capacity.
Lol! It seems strange to be saying something so serious and methodical about technique and using those kinds of examples! Keep it coming, I really look forward to the next chapter!

Sorry it took me so long to read this, I've been extremely busy. This is very good. Aki makes me want to laugh and roll my eyes. I look forward to the next chapter, this chapter drew me in much more.

I like this chapter, you're developing the plot very well. What happened to Aki? *curious*

O.o Now I really need to know what's going to happen! I think you should write a book, I'm sure it would be amazing. My email's hopeless.daydreamer@gmail.com

I really enjoyed this chapter, I like how you're slowly building the plot up and I'm excited about what's going to happen. I'm glad you gave Koenma a break, he deserves it. :) The idea of a demon M/S club is an interesting idea, but you might want to add why there's so many demons in ningenkai when they're not supposed to be. Are they hiding? Or are you making it a bit a au?

Oh, and it's okay if you don't post all that often, no internet access is definitely a good excuse. Actually, if you want to, you can email me when you update so I can come read it a little bit after you put it up.