rate_review Reviews

good as always update soon girlly ... and thanks for the sweet comment about meh being ya freidn now! i feel so special! *cuddles ya*

Well this is the second review that i am leaving because of my damn internet connection >< But here goes, I'll try to remember everything I wrote in the one that was supposed to be sent. I really liked this chapter, once again, I loved the detailed descriptions. I wanted to know if you have ever heard of a psychic named Sylivia Browne. I know that I am a science major and belief in the supernatural is rather odd for someone majoring in psychology and minoring in chemistry, but hey, I'm from New Orleans! Anyways, when I was reading your descriptions about demons, her discussion on Tulpa popped into my mind. Tupla are beliefs or demons that we give life to by feeding into them with the energy of our beliefs. She also talks about the phenomenon of night terrors. She says that night terrors occur because of events that happened to us in past lifetimes. I could go on and on about her discussions about the psyche and other supernatural occurences, but I think that you would enjoy reading her books or looking ehr up on the internet. She is known throughout the world and it is my belief that she is not a phony. And anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge skeptic. Anyways, please update soon.

Oh yeah! I knew it was Kuronue!!! Yay!!!

story is awsome so far hope you update soon, if you wanna new chat buddy online you can add meh..

MarFire313 ish my yahoo name...


Lata

Wow... You certainly update fast! You go girl! Still loving the story ^_^

Ahw.... Now i feel very special and loved! ^_^ ghehehe Keep updating!

Dude, you just named three of my favorite Chinese dishes. Anyways, great chapter, I can't wait to see what happens when Dirken shows up. I wanted to say that your discriptions and imagery are very detailed, especially the one about blood. That was the main one that stood out to me. Ummm, let's see, I wanted to tell you that I finally get the demon thing, she doesn't have multiple personalities...duh, I feel like a first class ninny (at least I hope she doesn't have multiple personalities) The demons use her body as a host. Oh, and is the new demon, Okuro, truly Kuronue?

You can answer me in an e-mail if you want.

Well, update soon!

Gah! I am a cruel review who critiquesz more then compliments =( so sorry!

notes taken as I read the four chapters:

The suicide scene was very well done!
I like your use of repetition.

While leaving some description open to the reader is best, some description of the characters' appearance is needed, too. (i mean the main character here)

Add action to the dialog. What are you doing? where are you standing? is his facial expression any emphasis on his words? are you moving around?

Describe Karasu.

the dream with the dragons needs more graphic description in many parts, to allow the viewer to visualize it.

Author's BIG RULE of diolog: Diolog must be... crap, cant recall.... its something about using it sparingly, only when it creates a plot turn, and rarely when it can be conveyed through normal text.
This story so far is reading like a play.

minor spelling error: “Rei-chan” would be dear before the night was over.

"he’d fucked me out of my mind" this phrase sounds cliche and stunted. It could be either a good thing or a bad thing; I picture a drunk girl with a grin on her face saying it. Instead, try going into a more eloqwuent description of the pain of the rending of your flesh pushing away all conciousness...

I knew they would be siamese cats! i just knew it!


looking forward to reading more of it! keep on writin, srah chan!

I didn't know you had an account here and that you had actually written a story based on your life.
Of course MCR is the best and so is "It's not a fashion statement, it's a fucking deathwish" but why didn't you wrote it complete!! T___T
The demons names are interesting, yet I am sad that you hadn't told me too much about your inner demons and so, because your story reflects yourself...
Anyway, if you update it, tell me to read it. Better IM me, as you don't have time to talk to me T___T...
=u__u=
Also, Merry Christmas! n___n

Wow! I really like this story! How it's written and that there's truth behind it makes it really good! I can't wait to read more!

Hey, just wanted to say great story so far. I like the plot line and where it's going. However, there are a few problems, the first one being: does Galis truly have multiple personalities AND schizophrenia? My major is psychology, and I just wanted to say that if she has both (and I doubt that it is possible for her to even have multiple personalities given the discription of when the rape and beatings and fights started in her childhood) then it is highly unlikely that she isn't committed in a hospital. I f she has schizophrenia then she should also be on some major medications. Schizophrenia is a psychoses, a very dangerous one at that and if she's running around having hallucinations and dillusions then that's pretty f'ed up. there are also many types of schizoprenia (4 to be exact), which one does she have? this is by no means a flame. In fact you are probably leaning toards you character actually not being schizophrenic. Anyways, if you need help, especially if you want your characters personality and symptoms to be more believable ('cause I haven't really seen any true symptoms of psychoses yet) then e mail me or look up the DSM IV online. That book is the main book psychologists use to diagnose patients. And believe me, even if her mother was leaving out crucial details of her syptoms, a psychologist, let aone a Psychiatrist would definitely be able to piece something together.

As I said before, this is not a flame, your writing style is beautiful, I hardly see any gramatic errors. But, please, I am serious about e mailing me if you have any problems with you characters symptoms.

Thanks and update soon