rate_review Reviews

I liked the story. I thought it was interesting and pretty good.

Best of luck to you. and don't feel too bad about your english cause i was born and raised with english and i absolutlely terrible at and i live in the united states all my life.

Interesting. It is as though you are trying to revamp Hiei in chapters 8 & 9. Now he thinks to himself "he doesn't want anything the fox doesn't want to give." That's some 180 degree switch from the torture and threats. Definitely a good thing, but he still needs to apologize for the torture and threats.

I didn't know all of this and I hope you are feeling better. I think you are fluent enough with our language. Your better than most and if you had not told me, I would have believed that you were a native english speaker. can you tell me where else you have written?

To answer Hiei's question from "caught or not caught". . . yes, he is that horrible for Kurama to fight this much. This isn't male domination. This is rape. He has already mentally raped Kurama and caused a lot of pain. He is torturing him physically through the Jagan, then he threatens to kill kurama's family. This version of Hiei deserves to be introduced to Kurama's death plant. Kurama shouldnt be afraid of him, he should wrap him up in vines and feed him to a death plant. It is strange to me that Kurama would be afraid. It is OOC. He is able to physically defend himself and he should be doing that. He's been tortured and had his family's lives threatened if he doesn't let Hiei rape him and then mate him so Hiei can rape him on a regular basis.

Hiei says "I would never separate you from your human family. What kind of a monster do you think I am?" Hiei has made it abundantly clear what he is like. He's the type to torture someone and threaten their family to get his way. Evidently Hiei isnt capable of seducing Kurama, so he has to use torture and threats to get Kurama to permit himself to be raped. Poor Kurama. I want him to turn the tables on Hiei.

I'm glad that you're better
And I liked this chapter very much, it was time for Hiei to notice that.
Please keep writting, but don't worry about getting them out quick! You can take your own sweet time.

hey great story. I do want to say that some things were a little hard to follow but it was good. There are also some places in the story that have some spelling mistakes. Many words were not in their past tense form when it was needed. Also the word yell kept showing up as jell. It was ok but kinda funny too. Anyway sorry about the whole english lesson. I loved the story. I think i'll be reading more of your stuff{if there is some?}. i love your writing style. GOOD job and keep writing i'll be looking into the future stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Bye!!!!

I love this story. I've really enjoyed reading it. I hope you continue, I'd love to know more! ^_^

heh...looks like your starting to warm up to this pairing...anyway, I like how your writting this and I hope you continue it. You can take your time, as long as this story gets finished eventually. ^.- Ja Ne!