schedule
October 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey Green Knight, if you wait long enough Keiko will become Lilith!Keiko and Kuwa will become ZOMG-sp3shul-N33dz!Kuwabara!1!1!!
schedule
October 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your format is hard to read. We as readers shouldn't have to remember what brackets indicate who is speaking. You should give each speaker their own paragraph, large or small. It WOULD help readers understand what you're writing, you know what I mean?
Another thing, and this is what Altar pointed out to me when I used to bash Kuwa-sama, there were a lot of pretty girls that Kuwabara has seen while being in love with Yukina. HE DID NOT HIT ON THEM *coughs loudly*, so why would he want to hit on Yusuke's female (or any other woman) form while with Yukina when canoncally he never would have?
*gives Kuwa therapy and anti-OOC pills*
Another thing, and this is what Altar pointed out to me when I used to bash Kuwa-sama, there were a lot of pretty girls that Kuwabara has seen while being in love with Yukina. HE DID NOT HIT ON THEM *coughs loudly*, so why would he want to hit on Yusuke's female (or any other woman) form while with Yukina when canoncally he never would have?
*gives Kuwa therapy and anti-OOC pills*
schedule
October 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
good story so far i can't wait to see what happens next