AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Mo-zoku Mating Season

by koorinoinu

schedule May 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I hope you will forgive me if what I say seems rude.
Your chapters are stunted and jerky. You seem to have only the loosest concept of grammar, all of your characters are very ooc - I don't mind a divergence from canon, but I do try to keep it IC - and your format isn't just difficult to read, it is almost impossible.
I might have gone past Chapter 2 if it wasn't so much work to slog through for so little content.
Once again, I hope you can forgive my rudeness and that my critique will help you with your future writings.
person kitkit
schedule May 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
me like i would love to see little drabbles of the kids growing up..they seem so cute
person Baka-san
schedule December 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Loved the story, Kay-chan. I also read Sekia The Hanyou on mediaminer ^_^ They're both good. Post more stuff please. And e-mail me some good stories
person Laesk Light
schedule August 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
a good story coming on here, i can not wait for more to be added.
person nette
schedule June 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
about time you updated thought this story was a goner. okay how about hari, kai, and i can't think of none for 'y'. so good luck wit naming them and can't to read more.
person kit-kit
schedule June 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wow im glad the kits are here and i say name one of the kits kouranue(sp)... you know after kurama old partner
person kome
schedule February 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
awwwwwwwwwww this is so cute i love it
oh my god please keep going i love
it. i hate mood swings to including
when your on your cycle god thats
a pain in the ass i swear! but still
keep going its so cute awwwwwww
i can't wait to see how the kits are
going to look.
person kit-kit
schedule February 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
nice
person Anon
schedule November 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Prostitute? PROSTITUTE?
Bwahahahahh!
Moron. Either you don't understand basic anatomy or threw a hooker into the mix. Just a note: girls don't have prostates, and the prostate isn't a magical lovebutton either.
person leeann
schedule October 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please update soon. please send me the next chapter when you update.