rate_review Reviews

Hey doing good, coulod you possable have it were Kazuma gets both of them cues we all know Kazuma is a suger high teen whom has needs!

Hey Chicky its not nice to have a cliff ahanger like taht Please finish it before you drive me crazy!

Kurama's just wrong yo'! He's sad little kit!

Poor Kazu-kun! The boy's being hassled no matter where he runs!

Ah, I am really loving this story!! Wow...poor Kuwa! hahaha. Oh man, Hiei and Kurama are gonna go at it, aren't they? Who can Kuwa turn to? Maybe Yusuke can help him figure this all out ^_^ hahaha. Excellent work and update soon!!

Thank you, Thank you! Thank you for making Kazuma nticing the scents the guys were giving off.

Kazuma can smell things that normal humans can't. That was shown WWAAAAAAAAYYYY back in the begining of the series at Genkai's tournament. Not only did Kuwabara sence a evil presence (Rando) but it smelled it too.

Graphic novel 4, page page 10=
Yusuke='Cat got your tongue, Kuwabara? Is going one-on-one freakin' you out?"

Kazuma= "No, it's a feeling...a BAD feeling. Something's wrong....something I've sensed since we left teh forest. It's like... like some savage beast or monster's lurking nearby.

Yusuke=(thinking to himself) 'I keep forgeting, Rando's here somewhere. and he's after the Master's techniques.' (spoken=)Is this feeling coming from one of the other guys?

Kuwabara= Yeah, probably. I can't tell which one though. there's nuthin' obvious... but I can smell it, y'know...."

Let's not forget that this conversation happened in the pitch black room that Genkai held the semi-finals in. While Yusuke couldn't see in the darkness, Kuwabara could thanks to his high awareness.


What that showed is that Kazuma's spirit awareness helps him feel things but heightened his senses as well. That one scene during Genkai's tournament showed that Kazuma's sight and sense of smell go far beyound tha norm.

Keep up the ggod work.

Oh, I like this! A bit confusing at certain parts, but I got what you're getting at. This will defintly be an interesting story! I can just tell! ^_^. Please update soon!!

*throttles both Kurama and Hiei* Go mate with each other and leave Kazuma alone! Sheesh. What dweebs do come forth these days? Oh continue and stuff because a harrassed Kuwabara-kun is almost as fun as a harrassed Gimli-san! *pets her lotrs plushies*

CH. one
:) I can tell the difference now that the most obvious mistakes have been corrected. There are still a few though=

1) Artefacts= Don't feel bad on this one, I cheated and pulled out a dictionary for the correct spelling-Artifact

2) quote>>First there was this stupid asshole of a rich human. He had the idea to make the shorter demons sister to his personal pearl-cow.<< there is a missing puntuation ' ='The shorter demon's sister'

I love ch two so please don't take the corrections wrong. I know that English isn't your native tounge and just want to help.


>>"Kurama, what have you drink? You can tell me.” <<- This sounds like a broken sentence, as if there was a words missing. 'What have you drunk?' or what have you had to drink?' are two ways to fix that confusion.

>>“Kurama honestly, I don’t have any clue what you must have drunken, but what ever it was; it wasn’t good for your bran!”<< = Drunken is a state of being drunk, what Kazu means here drunk, which could mean a state of intoxication or just to drink a any type of liquid. Is the last word suppose to be brain?


Nothing wrong in the following=

>>When Kazuma turned around he saw some vines following him like tamed dogs right out of the same one.<<

I just love the mental picture that creates XD