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March 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was awesome. Look forward to reading more!
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March 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Another wonderful chapter. I can't wait for the next. I hope that it doesn't get to angst-y but you are a wonderful writer and I know that you will make it a wonderful story. I don't have a clue about Yomi being blind or not. I too have read it both ways. Sorry I am no more help.
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March 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes, Yomi is blind. It is a fact in the show, but Yomi has a sixth sense or something, so he knows how people are feeling. I hope I didn't confuse you. I like this story very much. I can't wait for your next update. Hiei/Kurama FOREVER!!!
Sincerely Mea ^_^
Sincerely Mea ^_^
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March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
VERY GOOD,you write a lemon,that make me so happy.Your lemon is very passionate,you know.I LOVE YOU,see you in the next chap
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March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Um yeah ::DROOLINGGGG:: That was hot... awesome... loving... sensual... mmmm absolutely DELICIOUS! Thank you for updating so quickly you ROCK!
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March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Alright, I'm back here finally lol and here are my notes on chapters 3 through 8 - bleh a lot of ground to cover I know.
First off, absolutely every little problem was made up for by Hiei and Kurama's first kiss. I loved that scene.
Your action scenes were much better in chapter 3 but again in later chapters it seemed as if you hadn't read the scene through to make sure that your actions actually flowed from one to the other.
The characters were really written to their cliches. My responses to some of the over-the-top moments: Kurama doesn't explode at people without great provocation. He's way too poised for that. I don't think that Hiei would reject a jacket because store owner agreed with its good appearance, nor do I believe that Hiei is stupid enough to continually be suspicious of every food stuff (see the coffee scene when the tantei first check into the hotel for the dark tournament). I also can't believe that Hiei would buy a jacket only if Kurama bought it first, if anything, Kurama having the same jacket might be incentive for Hiei NOT to but the jacket. I just cannot picture them walking around in matching jackets.
Proofreading!!
Kurama doesn't have any demon blood in his human body.
Chapter seven seemed more like the summary of a whole bunch of chapters rather than an actual chapter. The plot didn't actually develop, the author just said that it happened.
The song was fit wonderfully into chapter 8. The way you broke it up with the dialogue (or perhaps vice versa) was very appropriate and well done.
First off, absolutely every little problem was made up for by Hiei and Kurama's first kiss. I loved that scene.
Your action scenes were much better in chapter 3 but again in later chapters it seemed as if you hadn't read the scene through to make sure that your actions actually flowed from one to the other.
The characters were really written to their cliches. My responses to some of the over-the-top moments: Kurama doesn't explode at people without great provocation. He's way too poised for that. I don't think that Hiei would reject a jacket because store owner agreed with its good appearance, nor do I believe that Hiei is stupid enough to continually be suspicious of every food stuff (see the coffee scene when the tantei first check into the hotel for the dark tournament). I also can't believe that Hiei would buy a jacket only if Kurama bought it first, if anything, Kurama having the same jacket might be incentive for Hiei NOT to but the jacket. I just cannot picture them walking around in matching jackets.
Proofreading!!
Kurama doesn't have any demon blood in his human body.
Chapter seven seemed more like the summary of a whole bunch of chapters rather than an actual chapter. The plot didn't actually develop, the author just said that it happened.
The song was fit wonderfully into chapter 8. The way you broke it up with the dialogue (or perhaps vice versa) was very appropriate and well done.
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March 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey,sorry becuse of this late but my computer have some kind of problems so again GOMEN.Um,you make me wait for so long for a passionate lemon,however, your story is so good that I can't angry with you anymore.You said in your fic that Kurama didn't have any hair in his body,except the hair in his head,this is quite right but how about his crotch(i don't know how to spell this word),you should write more careful next time.Anyway,keep going,I LOVE this fic.JA!
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March 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was wonderful. I am so glad that you worked out like you did. I love the story and the lemon was perfect.
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March 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yay! i long and wonderful awaited lemon has arrived! when you first mentioned that there was gonna be a lemon i must have starred blankly at the screen thinking who would be uke and who would be seme
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March 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*paces back and forth thinking, Ok if I kill her then no new chapers. However she she die for ending the last onelike that.*
fine you shall live *pouts* but fear the wrath of all cliffhanger haters. Still an very good chapter *hand you half a cake* sorry I got hungry.
fine you shall live *pouts* but fear the wrath of all cliffhanger haters. Still an very good chapter *hand you half a cake* sorry I got hungry.