schedule
April 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hey!!!! Come back already!!!! Still love your story not to mention that you’re a tease.
There’s not only Hiei craving for more, you know?
Best Wishes, XD
There’s not only Hiei craving for more, you know?
Best Wishes, XD
schedule
April 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Thank you for giving me the URL to this! ^^ I love the story!! Please keep writing!
(Ok, I'm not good at reviews, but hey. ^^;)
(Ok, I'm not good at reviews, but hey. ^^;)
schedule
April 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Awesome s! I ! I need more!
schedule
April 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
you said you wanted constructive criticism. . . *cracks knuckles* well here we go.
overall the story is good. I do have to say that i'm not overly fond of Hiei/Kurama romances which is why i haven't read this story before(in all truthfulnes i am extremely sick and tired of Hiei/Kurama. nothing personal). It is, however, quite good for a Hiei/Kurama romance, with enough original bits to keep my interest. The Kurama/Kurounue parts were a pleasant surprise and i enjoyed them greatly(you might want to change the summary to mention that. it would have caught my interest and you wouldn't have had to ask me to read it). i wouldn't mind reading a story just about them. you have integrated the past and the present well though i did have some slight confusion over chapter 3, i believe it was. In the begining there is a Kurama/Kurounue section and later it switches to Hiei, waking from an erotic dream about Youko Kurama. I'm assuming the Kurama/Kurounue part is Hiei's dream? if it is i can only think that you're setting things up for Hiei to be some sort of reincarnation of Kurounue. That appears to be where you are headed. . .and if it is i must say that it is a very original idea.
overall your grammer and spelling were both excellent. i only spotted two mistakes, both in the first chapter.
the first mistake was the phrase, "passers byers" it would be more appropriate to say passers by.
the second mistake was the phrase ". . . hinder my search than help it. . ." it would be better to say ". . . hinder my search rather than help it. . ." the change s ths the sentence clearer.
your story is good and well written, and if you're going where i think you're going, creative as well. as long as you keep up the creative components and don't fall into the cliches of Hiei/Kurama i will continue to read this, if only for the Kurama/Kurounue parts(did i mention that i'm really fond of the Kurama/Kurounue parts?). i will be waiting for your next chapter.
now i read yours and reviewed it on request from you. all i ask is that you please read and review one of mine in return. ja mata
overall the story is good. I do have to say that i'm not overly fond of Hiei/Kurama romances which is why i haven't read this story before(in all truthfulnes i am extremely sick and tired of Hiei/Kurama. nothing personal). It is, however, quite good for a Hiei/Kurama romance, with enough original bits to keep my interest. The Kurama/Kurounue parts were a pleasant surprise and i enjoyed them greatly(you might want to change the summary to mention that. it would have caught my interest and you wouldn't have had to ask me to read it). i wouldn't mind reading a story just about them. you have integrated the past and the present well though i did have some slight confusion over chapter 3, i believe it was. In the begining there is a Kurama/Kurounue section and later it switches to Hiei, waking from an erotic dream about Youko Kurama. I'm assuming the Kurama/Kurounue part is Hiei's dream? if it is i can only think that you're setting things up for Hiei to be some sort of reincarnation of Kurounue. That appears to be where you are headed. . .and if it is i must say that it is a very original idea.
overall your grammer and spelling were both excellent. i only spotted two mistakes, both in the first chapter.
the first mistake was the phrase, "passers byers" it would be more appropriate to say passers by.
the second mistake was the phrase ". . . hinder my search than help it. . ." it would be better to say ". . . hinder my search rather than help it. . ." the change s ths the sentence clearer.
your story is good and well written, and if you're going where i think you're going, creative as well. as long as you keep up the creative components and don't fall into the cliches of Hiei/Kurama i will continue to read this, if only for the Kurama/Kurounue parts(did i mention that i'm really fond of the Kurama/Kurounue parts?). i will be waiting for your next chapter.
now i read yours and reviewed it on request from you. all i ask is that you please read and review one of mine in return. ja mata
schedule
April 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oooo, very good. I'm glad you reminded me to read it! *saves to favorites*
~Keaira~
~Keaira~
schedule
April 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Really like your story, please update soon!!!
Best Wishes, XD
Best Wishes, XD
schedule
April 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Please continue soon – you’ve got a very good story!!
Best Wishes, XD
Best Wishes, XD